Archive for the ‘Glad I Learned About This’ Category

Casual Nudity Perplexes Neighbor

Monday, December 31st, 2007

Aighh…I’m missing something here

DEAR ABBY: I have lived next door to the “Smiths” for 18 years. They’re nice people. When problems have arisen, they have helped me out, and I have done the same for them. We’re good neighbors and friends.

I have known the Smiths’ children their whole lives. Their daughter is now 17. Their son was born a year later.

My question: Is it normal for a 16-year-old boy to walk around the house naked, in plain view of family members? No one seems to notice or care. There are no looks or comments.

In the morning he gets up around 6:45. He walks into the kitchen and fixes a bowl of cereal. Then he stands at the counter, watching the morning sports shows while eating his breakfast in the nude. There is absolutely no evidence of arousal of any kind. When the bathroom becomes available, he goes in for a shower.

I have never seen any of the other family members naked. This boy has no compunctions about being seen by his father, mother, sister or next-door neighbor. He’s been nude in my presence dozens of times. I know it’s common for little boys to run around without clothes on sometimes, but, Abby, he’s not a little boy anymore. — CLOTHES-MINDED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CLOTHES-MINDED: Standards regarding nudity vary from family to family, and obviously the Smiths are casual and open-minded on the subject. It’s possible that you have been their neighbor so long that the young man considers you part of the family.

Because he has matured sufficiently that his nudity now makes you uncomfortable, you should hang curtains on your windows that face the Smiths’ kitchen — and before dropping over there, call to ask whether he’s presentable. If he’s not, then don’t go over.

So the neighbor is physically there at 6:45? Or, is she back at her own place, watching the Smith’s kitchen through binoculars or telescope.

It’s one of those things were not much seems amiss, until you try to reconstruct it in your mind and then you run into problems. Lessee…I’m a sixteen year old boy who walks around the house naked. It’s 6:45 and I’m lumbering around my parents’ kitchen with my dongle dangling, pouring myself some cereal. Now, the bathroom is not yet available so I’m waiting around…in my birthday suit…neighbor watching me, somehow, the entire time. Actively? Passively? “There is absolutely no evidence of arousal of any kind.” That’s just disturbing. I can just see her removing her eye from a powerful telescope and turning to a camera, a la Marvin the Martian, and commenting “No evidence of arousal of any kind” and then plastering her face right back on the telescope again, twiddling the focus dial for a sharper view, licking her lips maybe.

Ya gotta love Dear Abby. It seems so boring until you stop and ask yourself seriously, “Waitaminnit, who writes to Dear Abby about this?”

Long Live Closed-Source Software

Monday, December 31st, 2007

“An honest empiricist must conclude that while the open approach has been able to create lovely, polished copies, it hasn’t been so good at creating notable originals.”

Not sure I agree, but he makes some good points and inspires some thought that might not otherwise take place.

Online Geography

Monday, December 31st, 2007

Highly addictive.

H/T: Boortz.

Biggest SOB Fish

Saturday, December 29th, 2007

I’m ashamed to say that before this showed up in the e-mail, I had never before seen it or heard of it. Afterward I found copies of it here, here, here and here. It ranks pretty high on my jokes list. Maybe good enough to put a cap on 2007. Maybe. As always, it’s all in the telling of it.

Language AdvisoryA priest took a vacation to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip, he hooked a monster fish and began fighting it. A few minutes later the guide, holding a landing net, yelled, “look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!” “Please, my son, I’m a priest. Your language is uncalled for.” “No, Father, you don’t understand” explained the guide, “That’s the species of fish you have hooked; it’s called a ‘Son of a Bitch’ fish!”

“Really?” asked the surprised priest, “Well then, would you please net the Son of a Bitch?”

Once the fish was aboard, the guide marvelled at its size.

“Father, that’s the biggest Son of a Bitch I’ve ever seen!”

“It really IS a big Son of a Bitch” the priest beamed, “What should I do with it?”

“Why, eat it of course. I promise, you’ve never tasted anything as good as that Son of a bitch.”

Elated, the priest headed home. While unloading his fishing tackle and prize catch at the church’s back door, Sister Mary appeared and Inquired about his trip.

“Take a look at this huge Son of a Bitch I caught!” the priest gushed, opening his ice chest.

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, “Father, such language from a priest!” “It’s Okay, Sister. According to my guide, that’s the species of fish this one is: it’s called a ‘Son of a Bitch fish’.” “Oh, well then…what are you going to do with that huge Son of a Bitch?”

“Eat it! My guide said they’re great!”

Sister Mary then informed the priest that the Pope was scheduled to visit in a few days. “Why don’t I clean that Son of a Bitch for you, and we’ll cook it for this special occasion,” she volunteered.

On the night of the Pope’s visit, everything went perfectly. The wine was fine, the fish excellent.

The Pope leaned back from his plate and said, “This is absolutely marvellous fish — where did you buy it?”

“We didn’t buy it, Your Holiness; I caught that Son of a Bitch!” proclaimed the proud priest.

The Pope’s eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.

“And I cleaned and cooked the Son of a Bitch!,” exclaimed the Sister.

The Pope looked silently at each of them. Glancing around the dining room, he saw they were alone. A big grin spread across his face as he leaned across the table and whispered, “Go get us some more wine. You motherfuckers are my kind of people”.

Your Dad Answered All Those Letters

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

Nativity of ChristI thought the best way to link this would be just to link it. The FARK thread was green-lit, which means you don’t have to take out a subscription to TOTALFARK in order to access it. The actual article has been “farked,” which means you can’t access the original location (usually because the traffic resulting from FARK’s link overwhelmed the web servers or some resource that supports them). But the text of the article was replicated in whole in the first post.

You should go read quick before the Christmas spirit runs off and hides under the covers for another year. Polish off the last of the eggnog, and have a box of tissues ready.

As a young boy, I sometimes traveled the country roads with my dad. He was a rural mail carrier in southwestern Michigan, and on Saturdays he would often ask me to go on the route with him. I loved it. Driving through the countryside was always an adventure. There were animals to see, people to visit, and freshly-baked chocolate-chip cookies if you knew where to stop, and Dad did. We made more stops than usual when I was on the route because I always got carsick, but stopping for me never seemed to bother Dad.

In the spring, Dad delivered boxes full of baby chicks. Their continuous peeping could drive you crazy, but Dad loved it. When the peeping became too loud to bear, you could quiet them down by trilling your tongue and making the sounds of a hawk. When I was a boy it was fun to stick your fingers through one of the holes in the side of the cardboard boxes and let the baby birds peck on your finger. Such bravery!

On Dad’s final day of work on a beautiful summer day, it took him well into the evening to complete his rounds because at least one member of each family was waiting at their mailbox to thank him for his friendship and his years of service. ‘Two hundred and nineteen mailboxes on my route,’ he used to say, ‘and a story at every one.’ One lady had no mailbox, so Dad took the mail in to her every day because she was nearly blind. Once inside, he read her mail and helped her pay her bills. And every Thursday he read her the local newspaper.

Mailboxes were sometimes used for things other than mail. One note left in a mailbox read, ‘Nat, take these eggs to Marian; She’s baking a cake and doesn’t have any eggs, and don’t stop to talk to Archie!’ Mailboxes might be buried in the snow, or broken, or lying on the ground, but the mail was always delivered. On cold days Dad might find one of his customers waiting for him by the mailbox with a cup of hot chocolate. A young girl wrote letters but had no stamps, so she left a few buttons on the envelope in the mailbox; Dad paid for the stamps. One busy merchant used to leave large amounts of cash in his mailbox in a paper bag for Dad to take to the bank. On one occasion, the amount came to $32,000. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

The story winds up to an ending you’ll not soon forget.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, and a Happy New Year.

Winter Solstice

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007

Credit for finding this goes to Texas Scribbler.

Dick, that is some major coolness there.

Yup, I was out on my eastward-facing balcony, 7:28 this morning, using my thumb to measure the angular distance between the rising sun and the nearest landmark. Hot steaming coffee in hand, of course. Wasn’t everybody? Kind of wishing I put some more things on my Christmas list…sextant…telescope…maybe another GPS receiver…oh well. You snooze you lose.

GR-5A

Saturday, December 22nd, 2007

Aw, hell yeah

…check out the video, just after 5:00 he starts showing how the ECU works. That is way cool.

I should warn that the guy isn’t wearing a crash helmet when he’s taking it out for a spin, but this reckless daredevil is nevertheless wearing ear protection. Just like the kind airplane mechanics wear around jet aircraft, which are powered by engines very similar to what he’s showing you. That means something…if the volume is up high enough that you can hear him talking, you need to make a grab for it when he turns that key.

Taco Town

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

A Saturday Night Live skit…one of the funny ones.

Computer Generated Ad Cluster Mishaps

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

Well, this morning’s “MSN Today” page was an interesting entry into the annals of “When did Microsoft decide I’m a woman?” Except today they seem a little undecided on that score.

Hmmm…now why would today’s males be nervous about approaching potential dates…I wonder…I wonder…

Grayson

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

Speaking of movies, you might be interested in knowing there’s an actual script for the one that will never be made, straight off the home page for Untamed Cinema.

Greatest superhero film of them all. Maybe I’m giving it too much credit, since it’s vaporware and therefore is spared some hurdles that “real” movies have to overcome. But when you can include the Justice League and still make it fun and engaging, to me that’s a real achievement.

Oh, and having said that, I didn’t like the ending.

Just as a reminder of the fact that we’re dealing with some wonderful work here, here’s the trailer for the movie that will never be made.

Worst Movie Endings

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

Now for something from the lighter side…

worst movie endings.

Of course it’s in list form, which means we can all disagree with items on it and have some fun doing the disagreeing. My personal favorite disagreement is Brain De Palma’s “The Fury,” which I consider to be an underrated gem. The inclusion of this entry doesn’t even jive with the author’s overall theme; it delivers exactly the big finish that is lacking in the other entries. In fact, without the ending, I never would have taken notice of Fury in the first place.

And he should’ve included this.

But I agree with the rest of it. Especially this…

Seems that in recent years, Spielberg has developed a bad case of anticlimactitis, an alarmingly common affliction among pop-culture artists that causes them to either (a) overstate the themes of the film in case anyone in the audience had missed them (“Minority Report”); (b) chicken out and deliver an unearned feel-good ending (“War of the Worlds”); (c) allow the film to drag on for an additional 45 minutes beyond its organic, satisfying ending and into a protracted, agonized, unconvincing epilogue that turns everything that came before into a pseudo-Freudian nightmare (“AI”); and worst of all (d) take all the artfulness out of a powerful piece of fiction and transform it into a weirdly ritualized, lily-gilding present day with real people doing real things like lighting candles and saluting gravestones, just to underline the film’s nobility (“Schindler’s List,” “Saving Private Ryan”). It’s a frustrating trend, one that makes it harder to defend one of cinema’s most maligned directors. It also makes you long for the sight of Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Scheider paddling for shore on the splinters of a blown-up fishing boat, great white shark guts bobbing in their wake. Now that’s an ending.

Freakin’ PERFECT. Took the words right out of my mouth.

Fire Ants Versus Iraqi Spider

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

One week to Christmas, we’re just about to hit the home stretch…

…so here is your final brief respite from Christmas-related stuff. One last gulp of air. Oh, and you’ll never guess who wins.

Suddenly Susan

Sunday, December 16th, 2007

America's HatWe were following a trackback and we stumbled across this thread on Moorewatch.

I’ve already been scolded elsewhere for using the word “canuck” — some people feel it’s on par with the n-word. Well, this dimbulb woman is certainly a silly canuck.

Canadians are like citizens of any other country — they’re individuals. Kinda. Sorta. Actually, that sort of runs into some problems…you round up a thousand Canucks, and ask them about Michael Moore, you won’t really get back a thousand different opinions. To the extent that these problems do exist, in my mind this is just evidence of the damage that socialism inflicts on the individual.

That just goes to show what a kick-ass place America is. For now. Until the damn dirty socialists can make some inroads on this place. But for now, for some real bonehead statements, I mean for a reliable supply, we’ll have to rely on that idjit canuck Susan.

Oh and by the way — can we all agree that the definition of treason is undergoing a change, given that we can’t lock Michael Moore up for anything? I mean, let’s all just decide our separate ways whether or not this is a good thing. But I think everyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what’s going on would have to agree that if Michael Moore can walk around as free as you and me, there’s a change going on. All these dirty foreigners are typing their smarmy crap into these forums on the innernets, with these smug smirks on their faces because they’ve been watching these phony-baloney “documentaries” put together by Michael Moore…an American citizen…enjoying American protections, including constitutional freedoms and protection by the United States military.

A couple generations ago, he’d have had the life expectancy of a July snowball fight. And we’ve made him into a gazillionaire.

Let’s just file that one under “America ain’t perfect.” Hey, humility is a good thing sometimes…even when it gets a little tough to hang on to some of it.

Cute Hamster Gift

Saturday, December 15th, 2007

Yeah…I hate hamsters and I hate flowers. I just wanted to bookmark that cool site. Just stumbled across it when I was looking for something else, and later on I tried to find it, tried to find it, tried to find it…

…doncha just hate that? It’s like the claw hammer in your junk drawer. In the way, when you’re looking for something else, and then when you really need it you end up banging on nails with an old shoe.

Worst Liberal Bumper Stickers

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

Some of these have been around for awhile, I’m glad someone finally pointed out the obvious.

“Live Simply So That Others May Simply Live” – The airheads with this little chestnut on their bumpers are confusing simple wordplay with incredible profundity. This bumper sticker sounds really deep until you realize that a.) it doesn’t mean a damn thing and b.) the dork in your office who asks if you’re workin’ hard or hardly workin’ is making an equally clever play on words.

The carbuncle this pops, has been festering for quite awhile and the pale gooey mess that erupts is pretty damn glorious. I enjoyed it immensely and I think you will too.

Your Fat Ass

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

Enough of this heavy stuff. Let’s talk about how fat your ass is getting.

Interesting, huh?

Via Boortz.

Al-taqiyya

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

Heard a comment on the radio that “the Koran gives you permission to lie to advance Islam.” This impressed me as something that I hadn’t heard before, and surely it could not be within the realm of the disputed since it seems to be a pretty clear encapsulation of something purported to exist within a defined body of work.

I’m blindsided by this one. Sidebar resource Linda SOG covered this years ago.

Al-taqiyya is a word used for the practice of Muslims blatantly lying to non-Muslims. Muslims consider the act of Al-taqiyya or lying to non-Muslims to be a good work. Especially if it helps support the war against the infidel. In case you’ve forgotten, you are the infidel, so am I, so is each and every American who is not muslim.

From “Islam’s Shell Game” by Johnn “Trike” Schroeder

Muslims say one thing and think another, because their holy book allows such action in the furtherance of their religion. They do not punish the insane killers in their communities who strike at Americans, because they do not see the terrorists as wrong, rather they see them as warriors, honorable and holy themselves.

Thus there is no conflict with their religion, and no real dichotomy exists between the terrorists and Islam as a whole. If one acts as a neutral (for no Muslim speaks out one way or the other as a rule on terrorists and their acts), to create a sort of wall behind which our enemies can move and strike at us, they act as our enemies as well!

We have a decision to make here, just how are we to protect ourselves, when we allow such a tactical and strategic screw up to exist in our very midst! Who is killing us and our allies, MUSLIMS, not the little old ladies the airport security strip searches to protect us from illegal knitting needles!

We need to start seriously applying common sense while we still have a few people not yet blown up or under threat of being so.

The terrorists want one thing, (just as the Koran calls for), a world united as Islam or nothing! This is about world conquest as a religious duty.

Let us begin to understand that we face an enemy who will happily kill you, your family and friends and celebrate their own death doing it. It matters not if you are on the right or the left, they want us DEAD! Nothing else will do for them.

And unless we get in gear, they will do just that to far too many of us. as we wring our hands and cringe, crying out “Can’t we just get along?” If we do not act, that will be our pathetic epitaph.

So. All of a sudden Muslims like America and Americans? Yeah. Sure they do.

Al-taqqiya is a war tactic, the sheep’s clothing worn by the wolves in our midst. and you can’t see the forest for the trees.

I’m troubled by the breezy conflation of “Muslim” with these psycho whackjobs who would be willing to off themselves just to take a few of us down with ’em. Not a fan of political correctness, but I like to use correct terms to describe things, and just as I’m reluctant to paint “Christians” with a broad brush, I should show similar reluctance here…

…but I’ll tell you what I find even more troubling: A religious cult that instructs people to lie, for the sake of advancing itself — existing within post-modern America, a place that just can’t get enough of people saying the right things, truth & facts be damned.

I’m really having trouble with the exercise of trying to envision anything more dangerous than that.

Update: Via Planck’s Constant, Exhibit A.

Strongest Beer in the United States

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

H/T: Duffy.

This Is Good XLV

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

Analytics and Red Shirts

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

Oh, I love humor about Star Trek red-shirts. I remember clear back when we were living in Arizona — the show had been canceled, but only just, like two years before. We’d tune in faithfully at six in the evening, and Kirk would rise majestically from his famous chair and bark out — “Spock! Bones! Scotty! And…Ensign Peterson…meet me in Transporter Room Three. We’re going down there.” We’d all pass a glance around the living room and say to each other, “uh oh.”

They got dehydrated by ferocious dehydrating monsters. Run over by roasting lasagna monsters. Vaporized. Labotomized. All manner of things…and Starfleet would keep recruiting more of them. Real Navy guys would talk about the absurdity of the highest-ranking officers on a ship of some four hundred plus, going “on shore” by themselves…and us die-hard fans would retaliate, “Nuh huh! They always got that one guy…” And we’d be right, of course.

And now, someone has demonstrated analytics with the whole thing.

What? You don’t know about the Red Shirt Phenomenon? Well, as any die-hard Trekkie knows, if you are wearing a red shirt and beam to the planet with Captain Kirk, you’re gonna die. That’s the common thinking, but I decided to put this to the test. After all, I hadn’t seen any definitive proof; it’s just what people said. (Remind you of your current web analytics strategy?) So, let’s set our phasers on ‘stun’ and see what we find…

H/T: Miss Cellania.

Yikes! IX

Thursday, November 22nd, 2007

I was just reading this newsclipping from 1900. The setting is a football game just after Thanksgiving between Berkeley and Stanford. With the cheap seats right over a roasting hot glass furnace full of liquid glass at five hundred degrees. A roof full of spectators, mostly young boys, collapsed. Oops.

It occurs to me, once again, how incredibly vaginalized we have become. Over a century later, we have rules upon rules upon rules, and I’m sure you could make a credible argument that this awful accident occurred because of the lack of some kind of code that since then has been put in place. Therefore, in theory at least, such a thing is what might be called “impossible.”

But of course it isn’t impossible…and if & when such a thing does happen, there are other rules in place to keep it from being described in the way this one was. I mean, just this…

While aiding in removing the dead and wounded from the scene of the disaster, T.J. PARKER, a fireman, recognized in the blood covered face of one of the sufferers the features of his own son. Francis Joseph PARKER is the name of the injured boy. He was taken to the City and County Hospital, where it was found that his skull was fractured and his right arm broken. He suffers from internal injuries, and will probably die.

How many of our modern-day journalistic rules are violated by these three sentences? And yet, with the rules in place, are things better…what if it happened now, what could you find out about this from reading the newspapers. Not very much.

Young Master Parker was among the casualties injured by impact and not by the incredible heat. So be mindful of what you are about to read when you click the above link, it is not for the timid.

Update 11-23-07: Adding the link by which I found out about this, H/T: FARK.

Yikes! VIII

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

Oh, dear. That’s not good at all.

An Orange County tree trimmer feeding branches into a wood chipper was pulled into the shredding machine and killed.

The name of the worker is being withheld until relatives can be located.

The Wednesday afternoon accident in Tustin is being investigated by the California Occupation and Safety Health Administration.

Police called to the residential area just after 4 p.m. found the landscape worker’s body inside the wood chipper. It isn’t clear if the victim was a man or a woman.

Sandee Westgate Reviews Oceans 13

Monday, November 19th, 2007

Can’t remember a word she said about it though.

Pac Man

Sunday, November 18th, 2007

Medieval Tech Support

Sunday, November 18th, 2007

Heh.

Naughty Girl, Happy Parents

Friday, November 16th, 2007

I can only repeat the sentiments expressed at the site where I found this: “This is one of the creepiest videos I’ve seen lately, but it does have a weird sense of humor, I give you that.”

Pretty hard to forget, and that’s the point isn’t it.


http://view.break.com/394383 – Watch more free videos

Once again, I’m happy my “daughter” popped out with extra equipment attached. Ten years on, he’s going to the archery range with me this weekend and sometime before Christmas we’re going to build the third pinewood derby. Nice and simple.

Slower Brain Maturity Seen in ADHD Kids

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

It’s the “tock” after the “tick”; the “haw” after the “yee”. For the last ten years prescriptions of psychiatric drugs to children have skyrocketed, usually for some variant of the learning disability ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) — if you utter a peep of protest to this, toward the phenomenon as a whole or in relation to a specific case, in the wrong audience you WILL be subjected to some haughty lecturing and second-hand anecdotal evidence that it “definitely exists.”

Even though you probably didn’t say anything contrary to that.

I remember the five-hour meeting in which I was beaten up about this, as a parent. It ended not when we ran out of things to talk about, but when the daycare center was about to charge me by the minute for not picking up my son. The part that I’m not going to forget any time soon, was when we reviewed the test scores that said he was in the “third percentile” of showing symptoms associated with Asperger’s.

Now, I wanted to make sure I understood the data the school psychologist was presenting to me, so I validated the way I validate everything of considerable complexity that might be easily misinterpreted — I restated it in a synonymous way, to show my brain was working it over and to display the results it had cooked up.

This kind of connects back to the post previous — a relatively innocuous but unpredictable event, thoroughly messed things up. Third percentile, I had supposed, was three percent. HOw many symptoms the boy had showed, compared to what might have been used to diagnose Asperger’s, was left unstated — that could be anything. But among a hundred boys showing behavior identical to my son’s…or more accurately, providing the same score on the test my son took…three percent of them were subsequently diagnosed with Asperger’s, which effectively means there’s a three percent chance my son “has” it, assuming you regard a “diagnosis” as an event constituting absolute “proof.”

“I thought third percentile meant there was a ninety-seven percent chance,” one of the teachers said. All momentum was lost. The school psychologist checked his notes. He wasn’t sure which one it was.

Four years later, my son was diagnosed as not having Asperger’s. But the meeting is what I’m talking about. The lack of curiosity about how things work, what things mean. Now that this has infiltrated the ranks of people who actually have degrees, we’ve lost the part of our social contract that says you get special training to figure out how things work…and therefore, to make sure things run right. Nowadays you get that higher-level training to become a better-paid process-follower.

And also in the post previous, I said…

The ultimate consequence is that people who understand how things work, or want to figure it out, have to be treated like freaks. Which, with a personal bias I’m ready to confess freely, it seems to me that we are.

And yes, I’d like some cheese with that whine.

But it isn’t quite so much me about whom I’m whining. It’s the younger set. The elementary- and middle-school-aged kids, mostly boys. The process-followers don’t understand how the toaster-disassemblers think about things, and so, they have been drugging us up to make us go away.

Last year in the United States, about 1.6 million children and teenagers – 280,000 of them under age 10 – were given at least two psychiatric drugs in combination, according to an analysis performed by Medco Health Solutions at the request of The New York Times. More than 500,000 were prescribed at least three psychiatric drugs. More than 160,000 got at least four medications together, the analysis found.

Many psychiatrists and parents believe that such drug combinations, often referred to as drug cocktails, help. But there is virtually no scientific evidence to justify this multiplication of pills, researchers say. A few studies have shown that a combination of two drugs can be helpful in adult patients, but the evidence in children is scant. And there is no evidence at all – “zero,” “zip,” “nil,” experts said – that combining three or more drugs is appropriate or even effective in children or adults.

“There are not any good scientific data to support the widespread use of these medicines in children, particularly in young children where the scientific data are even more scarce,” said Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health.

It’s difficult to exaggerate just what kind of trend has been taking place here. If you have kids, you are almost certain to know someone whose child has a learning disability and is taking medication for it — and that is understating the issue considerably. The childhood learning disability has materialized over the last dozen years as something between an epidemic…and a fashion statement.

A lot of people will object to that, I’m sure, because they agonized over the decision to put their own child on such a cocktail and don’t consider it a fad by any means. But the fact of the matter is, the prescriptions have skyrocketed. We did get along for several generations without these drugs. Nobody over age forty is going to ‘fess up to having been perfectly well-behaved at this age…a source of zero problems…which in my mind is conclusive proof that society at one time faced the same problems, and came up with a different solution involving far less expense and long-term agitation.

Fact of the matter is, the medication is a substitute for that swift swat in the butt that people can’t dish out anymore.

It’s also implemented as a solution for behavior that is not destructive or even punishable — but not easily understood, either. Again, there is nothing new about the phenomenon of parents discovering their children have personalities different from their own. It wasn’t always something that demanded medication. “I’d give anything to peel back Morgan’s skull and see for myself just what is going on in there!” — my own mother said on more than one occasion, in a variety of moods ranging from the curious to the maternally-pleased to the exasperated. She wasn’t alone among mothers.

But she’d be alone in saying that today. Mothers, now, understand their sons perfectly. They must. If they don’t, the boy will go on medication to make him understandable.

But ADD does exist. It exists as a specimen of something that has become a pet peeve of mine: Disorders with handy names and acronyms, that the lay-person believes to apply to a specific, medically-understood and possibly physiologic problem — but that, in actuality, applies to a bundle of symptoms and nothing more.

I would cite as an example, autism versus Asperger’s. Autism falls outside of this because, for however much we still have to learn about it, it is generally understood to be a brain development disorder. It is a neurological problem. Asperger’s, which has in the last few years come to be considered and then recognized as part of the autistic spectrum, is much cloudier. Like ADD, it remains little more than a list of observations, about what some subjects do.

Now, I don’t work in the field and I don’t have access to the stuff that goes into the medical literature, nor would I be notified if the situation were to be meaningfully changed. But it seems to me this is a critical difference to make, and I’m wary of our medical community for their lack of candor in pointing it out: If I’m a doctor and I diagnose your child with ADD, that is a completely different thing carrying completely different ramifications from diagnosing your child with Autism.

Think of a vending machine that counts quarters as nickels. A diagnosis of ADD is like an expression of opinion, based on the similarity in behavior between this vending machine, and other vending machines that do the same thing. A diagnosis of Autism is a far more clinical thing. That would be like isolating the gadget that sorts the coins, and maybe some set of levers, one of which or some of which might be bent — and announcing with some scientific confidence, “the problem lies somewhere here.” Of course in both cases you have the option to junk the machine and get a new one, or replace the faulty part. We can’t do that with kids. But the analogy still holds, and there is this widespread misunderstanding, I’ve noticed, among parents as well as among educational professionals…anytime the word “diagnosis” is used, it must be representative of that last scenario. This is not necessarily the case at all, I’ve found, especially with learning disorders. The word “diagnose” turns out far too often to be an expressed opinion, by someone with letters after their name, that a subject’s behavior sufficiently resembles the behavior of other subjects, that the cause is probably similar.

And there are gender politics at work here. When parents squabble over whether or not to put junior on the juice, I notice the Mom tends to be in favor of getting it done, and the Dad is the killjoy. The situation is carefully couched in languaged designed to confuse: Mom is not “for” the prescription, she just doesn’t see any other way. But at the high, summary level, the situation is consistent. The female mindset seeks to make everything secure, predictable and non-unique. Kids that go on the psychiatric drug most quickly, come from single-parent households, or households in which the father is confined to a submissive role in decisions like this, and is expected to acquiesce.

Thing I Know #179. Children seem to be “diagnosed” with lots of things lately. It has become customary for at least one of their parents to be somehow “enthusiastic” about said diagnosis, sometimes even confessing to having requested or demanded the diagnosis. Said parent is invariably female. Said child is invariably male. The lopsided gender trend is curious, and so is the spectacle of parents ordering diagnoses for their children, like pizzas or textbooks.

My tentative conclusion is that this is just a continuation of post-modern feminist hostility to masculine things. Manly-men, before they hit their pubescent years, are sloppy things and always have been. They are rowdy, disorganized, and more often than not a little bit smelly. Never easily understood. This has been the way things are for quite awhile…”snips, snails and puppy-dogs’ tails,” remember that? What’s happening, I think, is that since the early 1990’s we’ve had quite enough of the puppy dogs’ tails and the snails. We’re not terribly pleased with the snips either.

Well guess what. The newest research is placing some uncertainty on the supposition that kids displaying “symptoms,” who “need” the medication because their mothers “can’t see any other way,” …may not be so flawed after all.

Crucial parts of brains of children with attention deficit disorder develop more slowly than other youngsters’ brains, a phenomenon that earlier brain-imaging research missed, a new study says.

Developing more slowly in ADHD youngsters — the lag can be as much as three years — are brain regions that suppress inappropriate actions and thoughts, focus attention, remember things from moment to moment, work for reward and control movement. That was the finding of researchers, led by Dr. Philip Shaw of the National Institute of Mental Health, who reported the most detailed study yet on this problem in Monday’s online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

“Finding a normal pattern of cortex maturation, albeit delayed, in children with ADHD should be reassuring to families and could help to explain why many youth eventually seem to grow out of the disorder,” Shaw said in a statement.
:
The research team used scans to measure the cortex thickness at 40,000 points in the brains of 223 children with ADHD and 223 others who were developing in a typical way. The scans were repeated two, three or four times at three-year intervals.

In both groups the sensory processing and motor control areas at the back and top of the brain peaked in thickness earlier in childhood, while the frontal cortex areas responsible for higher-order executive control functions peaked later, during the teen years, they said.

Delayed in the ADHD children was development of the higher-order functions and areas which coordinate those with the motor areas.

The only part of the brain that matured faster in the ADHD children was the motor cortex, a finding that the researchers said might account for the restlessness and fidgety symptoms common among those with the disorder.

Earlier brain imaging studies had not detected the developmental lag, the researchers said, because they focused on the size of the relatively large lobes of the brain.

What I find interesting is that in these couples-squabbles where the Mom wants to put the kid on the sauce and the Dad doesn’t, one thing that keeps coming out of the strongest and most stubborn fathers is the phrase “he’ll grow out of it.” This, like nothing else, has been precursorial to the poo-pooing and the wildly off-topic “it definitely exists” lecturing I referenced earlier.

But the research summarized above, validates exactly that. In a post-modern society tailored to the needs, whims, expectations and sensibilities of the female, the children who have been willed by God to to go through life as male things, are naturally out-of-place and adapting to their surroundings slowly. The task that has confronted them is a considerable one, made so by us. Most of these kids aren’t learning-disabled at all; they’re simply masculine. And just as confused by our draconically-feminized society, as our society is about them.

But they’ll get it. Their fathers have been saying so for quite awhile, and now the propeller-beanie egghead researchers are figuring it out too.

Something We Learned When We Got Our Degrees

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

This blog, which nobody actually reads anyway, has from day one had a burr up it’s butt about the way people, as a whole, go about doing things. Our wish is not that everybody do things the same way; quite to the contrary, we fear this is what has already taken place. You might say we’re “pro-diversity” in this matter. We’ve been looking around, seeing that people tend to do everything the same way — more importantly, those who decide how things will be done, are more concerned that everything be done a certain way than that it be done at all — and we’re displeased.

There is irony in this. In opining about the problem for the last three years, we’ve found we’re not alone. And this is curious. The world wants to be consistent in how things are thought through, and how things are done; we say “this is not right, this is not good”; and everyone with an opinion worth expressing, minus a few disaffected individuals who’ve proven themselves inept at arguing their dissenting viewpoints, agrees with us.

Our gripe can be defined quite easily if one takes some time to watch young children working things through together. In school, at recess, it makes no never-mind. Adults have a tendency to do things the same way — this is the problem. We aren’t growing up. I expect everyone who’s learned a new computer application inside & out, and then had to teach it to someone else, will see where I’m going with this…the “nevermind how it works, just tell me what keys to press” thing. It’s become far too prevalent, and it has begun to interfere with the continuation of our society.

Grown-ups are encouraged to defer a self-education about how things work, until sometime later. Placed in a position where they must receive instructions in order to do a job, they insist on the bare minimum. What they end up demanding is instructions for children. Do this; don’t do that. Step one, step two, step three.

There is economic logic in this. It is far less expensive to train someone that X is good, Y is bad, step 1, step 2, step 3, than to provide instruction about how all the parts fit together — and how to straighten it all out when there’s gum in the gears. This should make complete sense to anyone who’s seen their order at MacDonald’s hopelessly screwed up.

This is our gripe. You go shopping, and over an extremely busy and expensive weekend you pass by ten cash registers. How many times would you expect to see a cashier ask her supervisor over to straighten something out? It should happen just once or twice. Nowadays, it happens more than half the time.

This is emblematic of what is happening everywhere, not just in retail.

We’re seeing ourselves. We know what keys to press. We don’t know why. Once something goes wrong, help must be summoned from somewhere else. This is considered normal…but it doesn’t take a cataclysmic event to put a hitch in the giddy-up. Handing over a five-spot and three pennies when your bill is $3.88, will do the trick just fine.

I’ve often been under the impression you can see this in your fellow motorists. My favorite maneuver to watch is a start from a dead stop; when people don’t understand how a car works and don’t care to learn, even though they depend on that twice a day through half their lives, you can see it. Pistons, gears, suspension — they don’t care about any of it, and you can tell they don’t. They want to go sixty miles an hour, they’re currently going zero, all they know is go and stop. Off they go.

Their cars are always newer, of course. If they have no respect for the laws of physics they’re just going through the motions of servicing the car properly, if indeed they’re doing that at all. Like any well-designed machine, the car will treat them the way they’ve treated it.

Fellow Webloggin contributor Bookworm has been noticing something like this, and she came up with a quote from Dennis Prager, who I guess says this on his radio program frequently. I hadn’t heard it before: I prefer clarity to agreement.

Wait’ll you see what leads up to that:

I attended a meeting at the school today for one of the management committees that sees parents and teachers working together to come up with specific details to implement long term strategic plans. All of the long term goals and the details are memorialized in a document that was remarkable for its generous use of passive voice and all education jargon. There is, of course, no reason why I should understand education jargon, because I’m not an educator. Nevertheless, to the extent I was supposed to vote on the document, it seemed to me that I had an obligation to try to understand what it was talking about.

So, I zeroed in on one phrase and asked “What does this mean?” There was a moment of complete silence. Then, one of the teachers said, “I’ve always understood it to mean…” and embarked on a laborious explanation that didn’t mean anything. Another teacher jumped to her aid with more words, less meaning. I thanked them.

Another phrase, another question: “What does this mean?” More silence. One of the teachers said, “Well, that’s something we learned when we got our degrees.” Oh. “Thank you,” I said, completely unelucidated.

And this gets back to what I was complaining about in Paragraph One. What we’re looking for is a little diversity — say, half of us have taken the time to understand how a thing works and therefore comprehend cause-and-effect, the other half of us follow processes and summon help when a gizmo doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do.

Back in what was once called the “olden days,” that’s how things worked. And a “degree” was a thing you got when you’d taken the time to understand how things work, and wanted to get credit for it and therefore a higher standard of living. It worked well, because it gave people the freedom to engage life on the terms they chose. Followers of process are vital in their own way; we need them. We also need people who not only understand what’s going on in the car engine or the DVD player, but have nurtured a lifelong passion for figuring it out. So in our yesteryears “diversity” program, we gave both these halves the ability to function, and therefore to work together.

You must conform!No more. In the twenty-first century, we’ve started passing out degrees to people who follow processes. People who think like children. This is a way of insisting everybody should think that way — no exceptions.

The ultimate consequence is that people who understand how things work, or want to figure it out, have to be treated like freaks. Which, with a personal bias I’m ready to confess freely, it seems to me that we are. Also, it takes very little to foul up a relatively simple transaction or task, and an unnaturally high level of effort to fix it.

Update 11/17/07: Via the sidebar crawl on Van der Leun’s page, I stumble into this reminder that I’m not the first one to be complaining about this. Albert Jay Nock, delivering one of his lectures during a tumultuous time in American politics, academia, and intellectual achievement, 1931 at the University of Virginia:

As we have observed, very few people are educable. The great majority remain, we may say, in respect of mind and spirit, structurally immature; therefore no amount of exposure to the force of any kind of instruction or example can ever determine in them the views of life or establish in them the demands on life that are characteristic of maturity. You may recall the findings of the army tests; they created considerable comment when they were published. I dare say these tests are rough and superficial, but under any discount you think proper, the results in this case are significant. I do not remember the exact figures, but they are unimportant; the tests showed that an enormous number of persons of military age had no hope of ever getting beyond the average fourteen-year-old stage of development. When we consider what that average is, we are quite free to say that the vast majority of mankind cannot possibly be educated. They can, however, be trained; anybody can be trained. Practically any kind of mentality is capable of making some kind of response to some kind of training; and here was the salvation of our system’s theory. If all hands would simply agree to call training education, to regard a trained person as an educated person and a training school as an educational institution, we need not trouble ourselves about our theory; it was safe. …What we did, then, actually, was to make just this identification of training with education… [emphasis mine]

He then goes on to expound on this. At great length. The core subject of this lecture is the intermingling, and then the substitution, of training for education.

Could’ve easily been written today. I can listen to someone bloviate at length about how incredibly, breath-takingly, heart-stoppingly important it is that a certain person doing a certain thing must must must have such-and-such a degree. And not once will anybody think to stick in a remark about what such a person is able to DO, or what he would know, that he would not be able to do or would not know without that background.

All too often, it simply isn’t part of the agenda. The letters after the name have to do with conformity and compliance, not knowledge or capacity for absorbing same.

This breezy, casual replacement on the sly, presents us with a grave danger. The danger is that one is a study in excellence and the other is a study in mediocrity, which is the opposite of excellence. Left to our own sensibilities, most of us would probably probably think of such a replacement worthy of greater fanfare.

I mean, do you want your brain surgeon to achieve, or conform?

Going Back to 1977

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Leprechaun BodyguardsHow often do I wonder how this decade in which we live, the “aughts,” will be remembered by people in the 2030’s? Oh…pretty much constantly. The bullcrap that is supposed to seem normal to us today, would not even begin to make sense in any other time. For examples I could cite just about anything, but I really don’t see the point.

Let us turn away from the dead horses we’ve been beating into Jello, which is War on Terror and the glowbubble wormening ManBearPig, to mens’ and womens’ fashions. About a month ago this post appeared here, assuming I have indeed tracked down the original appearance of it…which I’m just going to assume is true.

Get ready to laugh your ass off.

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife’s grandfather. After a bunch of hours spent in The Hottest Attic In The Universe, he had a ceiling fan that ducted to the side of his house.

While my brother-in-law and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this…A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It’s not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking.

There follows illustrated directions on how to get your ass kicked in school, in business meetings, on the golf course. And you know, thirty years on, it would probably work just fine.

The couples-attire is pretty interesting stuff. Well, I was alive in the seventies, and I don’t remember too many couples dressing alike. But the fashion trend was certainly there. The Womens’-Lib stuff was pushed into high gear, and perhaps partly out of the appeal of telling their beau how to dress, and partly out of insecurity, the liberated women were receptive. They must have been, or else the attempt to market the product wouldn’t have been there. And it was there, in spades.

Nowadays, we expect gentlemen and ladies to dress differently. Women are supposed to be cute and neat, men are supposed to be droopy and sloppy. But hey — you think that will be easy to explain to people in three decades? I have my doubts.

Timing Is Everything

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Bird BathI could just kick myself for my failure to take good notes.

I found this really cool online photo album called “25 Pictures Taken at the Exact Right Time, and I was able to find it again too. But I lost track of the referral site.

I try to get as obsessive about the traditional “hat tip” as I reasonably can, because I didn’t find this on my own. I simply owe it to whoever paved the trail for me, I figure. Without them I’d thrash around endlessly and never have found it.

I was reasonably sure it was this guy, who I wanted to add to the blogroll anyway. It’s an informal rule around here…you point to us, we point to you. And his content is decent. If he did have the link, he must have taken it down or else I’m still half-asleep not finding it.

Be that as it may.

This is an amazing collection of shots. At least, the ones that are real…which is still probably most of them, even though one or two have been “busted.” Check out the cat getting thrown in the water.

Update 11/9/07: Welcome, My Pet Jawa readers and all other new readers. I apologize in advance for welcoming you with such poor form, it can’t be helped because time is of the essence. Could you please consider donating to a worthy cause? Thank you.