Archive for the ‘Slow Poison’ Category

Snookered?

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

It’s in the entertainment section of Yahoo News, but apart from that there is no evidence that the editors understand this is satire. Certainly nothing offered to the more gullible amongst the readership.

…transcripts obtained under the Freedom of Information Act showing conversations between Messrs. Bush, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and the Magic 8-Ball make it clear that the ball had the deciding vote when it came to the administration’s pre-war planning.

At one point of the transcript, Mr. Bush asks the Magic 8-Ball flat out, “Does
Saddam Hussein have weapons of mass destruction?”

The ball responded equivocally — “Reply hazy, try again” — prompting the president to repeat his question.

Once Mr. Bush asked the question again moments later, the Magic 8-Ball was more definitive: “Signs point to yes.”

At the White House today, spokesman Tony Snow defended the Magic 8-Ball’s role in gathering pre-war intelligence but said that the ball had left the administration in 2004 to spend more time with its family.

Tolerance and Intolerance

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

In early 21st-century America, we have a disturbing predilection for calling out tolerance as intolerance, and vice-versa. It seems to start when we observe someone going out of their way to announce their beliefs and values, and indulge in using the lengthier of those two intangible nouns to caption that. “Intolerance.” Of course we do that for the express purpose of smacking it down, from scolding it to proscribing it. And the irony is, that to spring in to such action provoked only by the evidence of that other person’s belief systems — and nothing else at all — is the very definition of intolerance.

Now, I’m undecided about whether this is a good example of what I’m talking about. It seems the infraction is more along the lines of intended offense, rather than the mere manifestation of personal belief; the intent certainly does appear to be there. So perhaps a better illustration can be found elsewhere.

Nevertheless, I maintain the principal of Bishop Sullivan Catholic High School is on a treacherous and slippery slope.

A Catholic school principal has organized sensitivity training for students who shouted “We love Jesus” during a basketball game against a school with Jewish students.

The word “Jew” also was painted on a gym wall behind the seats of Bishop Sullivan Catholic High School students attending the Feb. 2 game at Norfolk Academy, said Dennis W. Price, principal of the Virginia Beach school.

Price who also watched the game, said the rivals exchanged chants, “Then, at some point, our students were chanting, ‘We love Jesus.'”

“It was obviously in reference to the Jewish population of Norfolk Academy; that’s the only way you can take that,” he added.

Price said he sent a letter of apology to Norfolk. Dennis G. Manning, the academy’s headmaster, declined to comment.

Several Sullivan students met with Norfolk Academy’s cultural diversity club Thursday as part of a series of events aimed at promoting tolerance, Price said.

Thus far, I have not yet seen the trend fail: Whenever someone in a position of authority uses those four words in sequence, “aimed at promoting tolerance,” something that had previously been tolerated, no longer will be, and it is soon to be subjected to intolerance.

I think our use of these words could use a little work.

Fans of Gore

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

Former Vice President Al Gore has the backing of Jimmy Carter (we learn via Hot Air and we learn that via Karol).

And, he has the support of communists too.

I repeat myself, huh.

Would The United Nations Stop An Asteroid?

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

Ben Shapiro has really hit his stride. That, or I’ve finally learned how to appreciate him.

Either way, this is exactly what a column should be. Thinking outside-o-the-box, but just a little bit; adhering to and commenting on the current state of affairs; offering a sound but unstated reason why we should pay attention; devastating a silly idea by taking it seriously.

Masterful work.

Scientists reported this week that on April 13, 2036, an asteroid has a 1 in 45,000 chance of hitting Earth…An entire city or region could bite the dust.

“We need a set of general principles to deal with this issue,” explains former astronaut Rusty Schweickart. To that end, scientists are calling on the United Nations to take action. The Association of Space Engineers will present a plan to the UN in 2009 involving the construction of a “Gravity Tractor,” which would alter the course of potentially threatening asteroids.

You can just imagine what the UN member states will have to say about this idea.

IRAN: “Space is a decadent Western lie. It does not exist. Asteroids are no more real than the Zionist Entity. It is possible, however, that the 12th imam is riding this so-called space rock. In that case, we can only hope that he steers it into a large building in a major American city.”

CHINA: “Such use of space simply escalates the global arms race. Who is to say that America will not construct such a ‘Gravity Tractor’ in an attempt to nullify our missile capabilities? Of course, we were never thinking of using such missiles anyway, but it’s the principle of the thing!”

Amid all the hubbub about the way President Bush and his administration have handled the whole Iraq thing, for the last four years I have yet to hear anyone of any political stripe step forward and begin to defend the way the U.N. has handled it. And that’s just a little surprising to me because here in 2007, I don’t have to wait very long to hear the U.N. advanced, rather breezily and empty-headedly, as the sure-fire solution to…whatever perplexing conundrum pops up. Asteroids to Malaria to hangnails to crazy tinpot dictators to nuclear weapons to — just name it.

Shapiro’s question, sarcastic as the artful delivery may be, is a good one for everyone regardless of their leanings. What do we really expect the United Nations to do? About anything?

Are Democrats Americans?

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

There are a lot of people walking around amongst us, apparently generating all the brainwave energy needed to get dressed in the morning and put one foot in front of the other as they walk around, who nevertheless think Democrats are more “American” than anybody else. I’ve never understood it. I’ve always taken it as a given that they have a vision for what America is supposed to be, which is different from my vision…but okay, we can “agree to disagree” as they say. And, I’ve been taking it as a given that if I could have insight on their personal background and the things that happened to them, then perhaps their different vision would make some sense to me.

I’m referring here — mostly — to being raised in a very strict religious environment, and nurturing a rebellious streak that just didn’t gel with it. There is some stuff in America’s history having to do with freedom to worship has one individually chooses, and not being told what to think about things. Issues like that, make this an easy thing to entertain.

Issues like this, do not…

The [Texas] state House on Thursday rejected a Democratic amendment that would have banned splash guards with images that are “obscene or hateful.”

Tempe Democrat Ed Ableser sponsored the amendment. He said he’d seen a splash guard that used a derogatory term for black children and said he wanted to make sure that people with hateful motives didn’t inflict them on others.

Democratic Rep. Theresa Ulmer of Yuma supported the amendment and said it fit with lawmakers’ other efforts to crack down on pornography and sexual predators.

DEMOCRAT is supposed to have something to do with freedom of expression, and thinking for onesself, right? And yet…this is hardly an isolated situation, is it? Democrats come along and say, hey, if someone sees this symbol or that symbol, such-and-such a thought is going to go through their head and we can’t have that now, can we? And I know they’ll have these contraband thoughts since, being a registered Democrat, I’m an expert amateur psychologist and I know better than anyone else what people will think when they see this thing.

I suppose both parties do this at some time or another.

But Democrats do it far, far more often.

And they’re supposed to be about freedom of expression. Freedom of speech. Thinking for yourself.

They have that “rep”; and sometimes, for reasons I think should be clear now, I fail to see how they got it or why they’re thought by so many to be worthy of hanging onto it.

Generation Z

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

On the subject of child-raising, fellow Webloggin contributor The Otto Show has been noticing what we’ve been noticing.

Between ADD, ADHD and forms of autism, that because of supposed advanced diagnosis, we are discovering that tens of thousands of children have medical conditions that, when we were kids, would have just been chalked up to a kid being a little ‘different’.

One condition, called Asperger Syndrome, is sold as a mild form of autism. Yet, in a publication (PDF) by the Yale Child Study Center, it is described as “a severe developmental disorder characterized by major difficulties in social interaction, and restricted and unusual patterns of interest and behavior.”

A website devoted to Aspergers states that “many in the field believe that there is no clear boundary separating [Asperger Syndrome] from children who are ‘normal but different.'”

The Yale study goes on to say, in describing a diagnosis: “The actual diagnostic assignment should be the final step in the evaluation. Labels are necessary in order to secure services and guarantee a level of sophistication in addressing the child’s needs. The assignment of a label, however, should be done in a thoughtful way, so as to minimize stigmatization and avoid unwarranted assumptions. Every child is different.”

I’ve been noticing a few other things about this whole thing.

As a parent myself, I know a lot of other parents roughly my age whose kids are roughly my son’s age. Everybody I know, personally knows at least one other person, whose kid has been “diagnosed” with something. Everyone has a story. There seems to be a “two degrees of separation rule” at work and when you think about the mathematics involved in two-degrees…you know, that is a lot of kids. Lots and lots of kids. A huge chunk outta all of ’em. Like, we should be out looking for the enormous radioactive meteorite responsible for messing up all these kids, it’s gotta exist somewhere. That — or, maybe it’s the “normal” kids who are screwed up. It’s getting to the point where the non-screwed-up kids are on the brink of being outnumbered.

I also notice something about this word “diagnose.” It is used as such a concretely objective verb…like, you could be a reasonable skeptic about a kid having whatever-it-iz, right up until the kid is “diagnosed” and then you can’t disagree without being just a whackadoodle. As in, last year, little Tommy wasn’t “diagnosed” — he died. Nobody but a crazy person would insist Tommy is still alive, when he obviously isn’t. Like that.

And yet this Yale study…it seems to be giving instruction in how to form an opinion…which is my conventional understanding of what a diagnosis is. Even after it’s formed, you can still sensibly disagree with it, am I right?

Seems we’re losing track of that. We still have folks running around using it to describe some hard, undeniable event, like cutting the umbilical cord, or losing a tooth, or death. “Two years ago, my son was diagnosed with…”

A third thing I notice is captured in Thing I Know #179: Children seem to be “diagnosed” with lots of things lately. It has become customary for at least one of their parents to be somehow “enthusiastic” about said diagnosis, sometimes even confessing to having requested or demanded the diagnosis. Said parent is invariably female. Said child is invariably male. The lopsided gender trend is curious, and so is the spectacle of parents ordering diagnoses for their children, like pizzas or textbooks.

Where are all the little girls being diagnosed with things? How come the population of screwed-up kids seems to be so overwhelmingly male? Come to think of it, where are the stats about all the kids being diagnosed with this-thing or that-thing, so that such gender ratios are available to us unwashed masses for extrapolation?

What’s up with these crusading parents who are pushing to have their kids diagnosed with these things? How come it’s thought to be in good harmony with professional ethics, to even listen to them? And where are the dads? How come all these parents pushing the docs to diagnose their kids, and talking and talking and talking about the diagnosis thereafter…how come they’re almost always mothers?

Gee, if I didn’t know better I’d say the moms nowadays were confused about how to relate to their little boys — unable to cope with the tidal wave of energy that every grown man knows is charging through every cell of a young boy’s body, having once been at that age himself. If I didn’t know better, I’d say we have an unexplored gender thing going on…wherein medicine is being used to shoehorn the complicated psyche of a budding male, into a simpler form that a female can understand, in ways nobody ever said she was supposed to be able to. I mean, that’s what I would think…if I didn’t know better.

But, eh, come to think of it I do know better. I’m personally involved in some of this stuff, and I’m sad to say what’s written above makes perfect sense.

We can only speculate about whether it is even so, essentially arguing in a vacuum about it…until someone provides the statistics I commented that I would like to have.

Rather curious that nobody’s done so, isn’t it? I mean, y’know…since we’re all supposed to be so worried about it and everything.

Spanking Bill Stuck In Corner

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

Take a look at this.

Spanking bill is introduced, which is exactly like what it sounds like…the nanny-state wants to stick it’s big fat nose into how you raise your kid in California. Bill is introduced, it’s little itty-bitty news. Gotta be in the right place at the right time to find out about it. Bill gets dropped, and it is heap-big news. You hear about it over and over again. At least that was my experience with it.

Kind of funny in a sad way. Everyone wants to be oh so vigilant against “government taking away our constitutional rights,” chomping at the bit to find out what kind of potential abuse is about to take place, so we can hit the road with our pitchforks and torches. Yeah. Right.

We think of ourselves that way, but we don’t act like it. Government was about to tell us how to raise our kids. And they’re going to try again, count on it. We were instructed to start paying attention when the bill died, and not a minute before; the threat to our “civil liberties” arose when the bill first came up.

Update: It would seem they did try for it again, the very same day.

When it comes to disciplining California children, an open hand is in but belts and switches are out, according to a bill introduced Thursday by Democratic San Jose area Assemblywoman Sally Lieber.

Assembly bill 755, designed specifically to protect children from overzealous discipline methods, rules out some traditional forms of discipline like the use of a switch or a belt.

“The vast majority of child abuse victims and fatalities are young children,” Lieber said. “Too often the abuse begins as some form of discipline. Existing law is clearly not doing enough to protect the youngest, smallest, most vulnerable members of our society.”

Assemblyman Chuck DeVore, of Irvine, had expressed concern for early drafts of the bill and said he intends to keep a close eye on the new bill.

“I’m going to remain a skeptical observer and watch it very carefully,” DeVore said.

The Republican assemblyman said his concerns stem from what he said were parents’ rights to privacy and whether this new law would actually protect children or put otherwise good parents in trouble with the law.

I see there’s apparently some kind of rule in place with this new bill, which allows the spanking with the open hand. The rule is that when you list the things that the new bill would still penalize, you have to mention these two present-tense verbs: “burning” and “kicking.” Those two are particularly potent in inspiring the desired response.

But that isn’t the real issue. Shoot down this new bill, and then go home and burn your kid or kick your kid. Tell the cops about it. You think nothing will happen, just because this new law didn’t pass? Those are already against the law; they are just big fat red herrings. The real issue is where the line is being drawn. And the line is being drawn with the wooden spoon.

This is such a slick hoodwinking job. The situation is unchanged — some hippie flower-child doesn’t approve of parents disciplining their kids, and she’s gone through all the motions of “listening” and “revising” when all that’s really happened, is she’s watered down her nanny-state law to the point it has an excellent chance of passage.

Sure it allows spanking by open hand. That’s this year. Sure, there’s no conflict at all between the things I did to discipline my kid, and what this law addresses. My kid never got spanked with a “foreign” object, not once. So the new bill doesn’t prohibit anything I actually used. Not this year. But it’s the camel’s nose in the tent. Like I said, we enjoy running around saying we’ll be on-guard against surrendering our freedoms to the government — but we don’t follow through on that.

Friends and Family

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

The House of Eratosthenes, otherwise known as “The Blog That Nobody Reads,” has changed it’s policy.

The policy has been unchanged from the very beginning and is recorded…um…to the right of my left ear, and to the left of my right one, somewhere. Anyway. Those things you get in the e-mail from friends and family with funny stuff? Sometimes with that thing on the bottom telling you of the awful stuff that will happen to you if you don’t forward it to ten people you know?

We get as much of that stuff as anyone. And we haven’t been running it. The rule has been, since it always seems to have come off a website somewhere, in order to give credit to the original author we put out a good-faith effort to find out who created it. And until such a good-faith effort comes to fruition, we don’t post anything. Which up until now has meant, for the most part, nothing gets posted.

The reason we have to change it, is — well, this is just too good. And it only took a little bit of searching to discover it seems that everyone has had a hand in it, and if there is any one single author who can claim credit, it may very well be the act of e-mail forwarding itself. You know, working in kind of a Darwinese type of evolution survival-of-the-fittest thing.

That would mean if anyone comes along later and says “Hey, I’m the guy who wrote that first” the correct answer would be…well yeah, you are, kinda. And so is that guy over there, and that other guy, and…anyway. Like I said, it’s too good to ignore. And for the reasons above, I can’t provide a link.


WORDS WOMEN USE:

1. Fine:
this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh:
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8. Whatever:
Is a women’s way of saying FUCK YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong”, for the woman’s response refer to # 3.

10. No:
This is the most complicated word a woman can use with a man. This is because she will say no, and mean no, or she will say no but mean yes. You will never get this right no matter what, so it is best not to try. Just remember, if she has salad and you have fries or pizza and you offer her some and and she says no, allow her to eat off of your plate without questioning her, or better yet, just give her half. This may also mean she is upset when she says she is not, and if you dare to ask “why” she will either respond with “nothing” — refer to # 3, or I’m “fine” — refer to # 1.

Imus Puts Liberals In Their Place

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

I feel sorry for our liberals, really I do. They’ve achieved a sense of cohesion across the American landscape, about something they oppose…but all they can do with that cohesion is barely touch it, they can never quite grasp it. They certainly can’t translate it into something they support.

In fact, how many words can they get out about this thing they oppose, and why they oppose it, and how they oppose it, before the cohesion slips away from them like a slippery fish? About…four or five, tops.

Don Imus nails them to the wall about it.

In the final analysis, they’ve managed to champion this American ideal, and none other: Being at war sucks, and we don’t like it. That’s it. That’s all.

The minute they embark on anything else, like “…and we wouldn’t be in this one if George W. Bush didn’t lie to us,” they’ve lost whatever audience they’ve had.

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

It’s not going to be difficult to find some people who would think of this as a dream come true:

If Hillary Rodham Clinton wins the presidency, some top Democrats would like to see her husband, former President Bill Clinton, appointed to serve out Hillary’s unexpired Senate term.
:
“President Clinton would excel in the Senate,” said Paul Begala, who helped Bill Clinton get elected and served in the White House as a top aide.

“Why not?” Begala added. “He excelled as attorney general and governor of Arkansas, he excelled as president and he’s been a model of the modern Senate spouse.”

Larry Sabato, director of the Center for Politics at the University of Virginia, agreed.

“Clinton is a natural for the Senate,” Sabato said. “He loves to talk and schmooze. He could be a great vote-organizer. Majority Leader Clinton?”

You know what would be far more difficult? Finding someone, besides a paid Democrat party hack, who can tell you why this would be such a great idea. Clinton in the White House, Clinton leading the Senate. It’s clear someone thinks if a little of something is good, more of it is better. The “it” is Democrat-party leadership…which does what for us, exactly?

LiberalismI ask because lately when the Democrat-party tells me what it’s all about, it doesn’t seem to be about adding things in to anything; it seems to be about taking things away. “Re-deploy” and all that. Two Clintons for the price of one, again. Eh, you can’t really impeach President Bush twice, or end a war twice. So, what exactly is the nutty topping to this sundae?

Struggling to reconcile this with the negative campaigning the Democrat-party has been doing, I can only think of one thing we would get “more” of with Clintons at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue, which would justify twice-the-excitement: More assurance against certain things. One Clinton would kinda-sorta keep Republican things from happening, and two Clintons would really, really keep them from happening.

So I guess we’re talking about…tax cuts? Two Clintons would boost our taxes twice as high, whereas just one Clinton would stop at eliminating the 2003 tax cuts? Or perhaps…gun control. One Clinton would make it illegal to own an assault rifle, and two Clintons would send a potential rape victim to jail for trying to defend herself with a .25-cal automatic?

Oh wait oh wait, I know what it might be. Support the troops twice as much, and oppose their mission twice as hard? Or oppose twice as many terrorists and support their mission twice as much?

I’m just not coming up with any answers that make good sense. I wish someone else would step up and tell me what this is all about. I’ve been told for six years now that the Republican position on things is extremism and involves some “cowboy mentality” and the Democrats are all about being centrist and moderate so the rest of the world will like us a little bit better.

How do you drum up a whole lot of enthusiasm and excitement…about twice as much centricism and moderation?

The Top Three, Huh?

Monday, February 19th, 2007

The United States stands opposed to racism, so I’m told.

According to Wikipedia, whenever we sit down to figure out who the best Presidents were, this asshole consistently ends up in the top three.

George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin D. Roosevelt—are consistently ranked at the top of the lists.

This makes no sense to me. None at all. For two reasons.

1. We don’t give a flying crap who our best Presidents were at any other time of year, except for “Prexie’s Day”, which is very close to today, if not on it — February 19;
2. February 19, 1942, is the day Franklin Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, authorizing the internment of Japanese-American citizens … for…being…Japanese.

Does the United States stand united against racism? Or doesn’t it? Roosevelt’s face is on our money.

We could remove his face from the dime, any time we choose.

Why don’t we?

Best Sentence IX

Thursday, February 15th, 2007

Goodness gracious, what is it about this time of year? Perhaps the Oscars and Groundhog Day and Valentine’s Day give us a triple-whammy of being told what we’re supposed to be thinking about things, and just get the creative juice stirred up. Best Sentence IX, it would seem, is going to have to be chainsawed in half and shared, for there are two contenders and they are both far too good to be ignored.

Blogger friend Buck at Exile in Portales has been — heh — “on fire” with this whole silliness about anthropogenic global warming, in which the Good Lord or some other omnipresent and omnipotent deity decided us bloggers didn’t have enough late-night-comedy material and snowed out a press conference about GW. Yeah that’s right. “Climate Change: Are Greenhouse Gas Emissions from Human Activities Contributing to a Warming of the Planet?” was going to be held in the Rayburn House Office Building on February 14th, and they’re just going to have to reschedule…because…well, it was just to freakin’ cold.

You can’t ignore that. It’s like walking right up to Beavis and Butthead and congratulating them on their efforts to “entertain us.” Huh huh, he said…

But on to the best sentence award. On Tuesday, he had a post up that linked to an article in the Times Online UK, which starts off with the candidate for Best Sentence IX itself…

When politicians and journalists declare that the science of global warming is settled, they show a regrettable ignorance about how science works.

And from there, things just remain…enlightening. Straightforward. Obviously true. Things we all know to be the case, but that very few people talk about anymore, like “enthusiasm for the global-warming scare also ensures that heatwaves make headlines, while contrary symptoms, such as this winter’s billion-dollar loss of Californian crops to unusual frost, are relegated to the business pages.” Go read the whole thing.

Next up…Ann Coulter has an explanation for what makes Barack Obama “the real deal,” and I shall have to rely on her since I’ve yet to meet a single Democrat ready, willing and able to tell me why this is the case. (Google hits as of this writing: 156,000.) She says it’s white guilt. She’s come to this through a process-of-elimination, since “his speeches are a run-on string of embarrassing, sophomoric Hallmark bromides.”

But that is not the contender for Best Sentence. Coulter hits her stride when she starts to defend the Real Deal Man, and she does so thusly…

There was one refreshing aspect to Obama’s announcement: It was nice to see a man call a press conference this week to announce something other than he was the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.

Once again, she must have been up half the night cooking up that one. Whatever. It still works.

Dad Wasn’t Dad But Must Pay Support Anyway

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

Double-whammy for Richard Parker, who first found out his three-year-old son is not his, and found out he’s still on the hook to pay support.

“We find that the balance of policy considerations favors protecting the best interests of the child over protecting the interests of one parent defrauded by the other parent in the midst of a divorce proceeding,” writes Justice Kenneth Bell for the [Florida Supreme] court.

“We recognize that the former husband in this case may feel victimized,” he writes. He then quotes a scholar to explain the ruling: “While some individuals are innocent victims of deceptive partners, adults are aware of the high incidence of infidelity and only they, not the children, are able to act to ensure that the biological ties they may deem essential are present.”

Huh. It’s the guy’s fault for trusting his wife.

So…as more and more men marry later or not at all, and as their mothers and sisters and girlfriends cluck their tongues at them for holding fast to bachelorhood, and womankind in general gets all cheesed off about this trend — link, link, link, link — it’s nice to have Florida’s highest court tell us that’s exactly the way it’s supposed to be.

We need a new legal term to describe the affront to justice taking place here. It’s not limited to the simple tried-and-true “rule against whoever has a penis” thing. It’s a subset of judicial activism, and it has to do with declaring that justice can be upheld while one person’s rights are unapologetically denied, by pronouncing those rights to be mutually exclusive from, and subordinate to, someone else’s rights. In effect, saying, “As a judge I can’t be fair to everyone…so I’ll just do my duty to the benefit of this person over here, and not for that person over there — day’s work is done! Sucks to be you!”

Selective justice, I suppose you could call it.

Flashback to U.S. Supreme Court Associate Justice Hugo Black’s comments in Toyosaburo Korematsu v. United States, 323 U.S. 214 (1944) regarding Japanese internment:

We uphold the exclusion order as of the time it was made and when the petitioner violated it. In doing so, we are not unmindful of the hardships imposed by it upon a large group of American citizens. But hardships are part of war, and war is an aggregation of hardships. All citizens alike, both in and out of uniform, feel the impact of war in greater or lesser measure. Citizenship has its responsibilities as well as its privileges, and in time of war the burden is always heavier.

Now reviled as a low nadir in the annals of Supreme Court common sense. But the logic is exactly the same.

Not sure what the best language is to use here, since I’m not a lawyer. But surely there is an implied contract here that is being abandoned; a contract that says when you’re a judge, there are things you’re supposed to be doing. Most of us have the expectation that when we go to court, at the end of the trial it ought to be said that the outcome wasn’t necessarily pleasant for all concerned, but it was — something else. Like fair. Just. The redress of grievances was fulfilled. All parties extracted from the situation what they got comin’ to ’em, whether they liked it or not.

This practice is quite plain and simply a deviation from that contract. Mutual exclusivity says everyone can’t possibly get what they rightfully deserve…so as a judicial officer, that lets me off the hook, and I’m just going to give some of the participants what they rightfully deserve and thumb my nose at the rest.

Regarding the paternity issues, there’s an interesting school of thought at work here. It has merit…but in my lifetime, I’ve never seen it quite get the thoughtful inspection I think it deserves, before our entire system of family law is surrendered to it.

The idea behind the deadline is that any action taken in a marriage breakup should be completed while the child is as young as possible to avoid a major disruption during the most formative years.

“We don’t want a system where a child is 10 years old and you have people who come in and undo what has been put in place many years before,” says Susan Paikin of the Center for the Support of Families in Silver Spring, Md.

Ms. Paikin says that it is up to the adults in the relationship to thoroughly investigate any paternity issues at the time of the divorce.

We really don’t want that kind of system? Gee, I dunno. Mr. Parker’s kid is three, not ten. Formative years? Certainly. But…the issue is who’s going to take on the role of Dad, not who is going to be stuck with the bill. Those are two different things. We seem to be presuming one course of action will have some devastating effect on the child’s status quo under the most beneficial circumstances, and the other course will have none at all. I find both of those premises to be on the shaky side.

Might they be opened to inspection sometime?

Here’s a thought. Hire a private investigator. Obviously, finding a biological dad is not a task that can be guaranteed a successful completion in all cases — but try. The gumshoe wouldn’t be needed unless the Mom refuses to say who the real father is. Or does not know. She has control over the situation. So if you need to bring in a P.I., charge the bill to her.

Just like an insurance company giving up after some point, and eventually settling on a building they “know” was burned deliberately just to make the whole thing go away. Fine, there’s a point of diminishing returns, and after awhile you give up. But first, try to find him.

Try, to the tune of…let’s say, five thousand dollars. If she doesn’t work and is depending on her ex-husband’s alimony, give the ex-husband credit on the alimony. She’ll just have to go with basic cable for awhile, until the court finds out what she doesn’t want to tell them. Meanwhile, the jilted husband can go on being “dad” — should he want to — so the kid’s life isn’t disrupted. What would be the problem with that?

Some cock-and-bull story about hurting the kid? Or, it would tick off the wrong people?

Judges and lawyers are often heard to say that the justice system is a vital underpinning to a civilized society. If “justice” is a term that stipulates Mr. Parker should be stuck with the tab, then someone needs to sit down and have an open discussion about what the word means.

There is justice; there is anarchy. Contrary to popular belief, both may be dispensed in doses large and small; you can have little teaspoon-sized servings of anarchy. Does that mean a little bit o’anarchy will send us down a slippery slope, to a Mad Max type of society? Maybe not — but I think most people would agree when a judge makes a decision about whether to serve justice or anarchy, is oath should be compelling him to opt for the former. Regardless of which activist groups want to use the “FOR THE CHILLLLLDDDDDRRRRREEEEENNNN…!!!” meme to allow their constituents to get away with deliberate fraud.

We’re The Government And You’re Not

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

Oh good golly…Boortz found something good. Not that this is anything unusual. Set aside ten minutes and watch this.

Memo For File XXXVII

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

Among the “climate change skeptics” we are instructed to ignore on a daily basis, yesterday it was the canuck who was editorializing and he gave no quarter and held nothing back.

Believe it or not, Global Warming is not due to human contribution of Carbon Dioxide (CO2). This in fact is the greatest deception in the history of science. We are wasting time, energy and trillions of dollars while creating unnecessary fear and consternation over an issue with no scientific justification. For example, Environment Canada brags about spending $3.7 billion in the last five years dealing with climate change almost all on propaganda trying to defend an indefensible scientific position while at the same time closing weather stations and failing to meet legislated pollution targets.
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Since I obtained my doctorate in climatology from the University of London, Queen Mary College, England my career has spanned two climate cycles. Temperatures declined from 1940 to 1980 and in the early 1970’s global cooling became the consensus. This proves that consensus is not a scientific fact. By the 1990’s temperatures appeared to have reversed and Global Warming became the consensus. It appears I’ll witness another cycle before retiring, as the major mechanisms and the global temperature trends now indicate a cooling.

But I thought the science was solid? Mark Steyn has something to say about that, h/t to blogger friend Rick.

From the “Environmental News Network”: “Science Is Solid on Climate Change, Congress Told.” “The science is solid,” says Louise Frechette, deputy secretary-general of the United Nations.

“The science is solid,” says Sen. Dianne Feinstein.

“The science is really solid,” says TV meteorologist Heidi Cullen. “The science is very solid.”

And at that point, on “Larry King Live” last week, Richard Lindzen, professor of atmospheric science at MIT, remarked: “Heidi says the science is solid and I can’t criticize her because she never says what science she’s talking about.”

Indeed. If the science is so solid, maybe they could drag it out to the Arctic for the poor polar bears to live on now that the ice is melting faster than a coed’s heart at an Al Gore lecture.

Alas, the science isn’t so solid. In the ’70s, it was predicting a new ice age. Then it switched to global warming. Now it prefers “climate change.” If it’s hot, that’s a sign of “climate change.” If it’s cold, that’s a sign of “climate change.” If it’s 53 with sunny periods and light showers, you need to grab an overnight bag and get outta there right now because “climate change” is accelerating out of control.

For those who care, Lindzen could be called dirty in the sense that he’s said to have personally received income from oil interests. Ross Gelbspan wrote an article for Harper’s Magazine clear back in 1995, instructing us to believe that the planet was heating up and that we are henceforth to ignore anyone saying otherwise, especially Lindzen. So our orders are quite clear on this.

Which begs the question. What about, just for the sake of argument, a climate-related dispute that is more easily measured? How about whether it’s raining outside right now? If you’re somehow in a position where you can’t find out, and one guy tells you it’s pouring and another guy tells you it’s all sunshine and blue sky and singing birds — does it matter who’s getting paid by whom?

I mean sure, one of those two guys has to be wrong. Is it the guy who’s making an income? Could be. Maybe. Probably? I’m not so sure. And in the dispute about anthropogenic global warming, you’ve got a situation where both guys are getting paid, since it doesn’t seem there’s a lot of public grant money flowing to these global warming skeptics. Not only does that somewhat excuse Dr. Lindzen — gotta make money somewhere, ya know — but it fairly devastates the “don’t listen to him because he’s getting paid” paradigm even under premises most favorable to it. We are to presume — with no evidence — that there is a reverse-correlation between cashing checks, and being right. Both sides are cashing checks. Your point?

The same muck is supposed to be sticking to Dr. Ball. Except…if you bother to pay attention to the details…not quite so much. His indictment has to do with advising Friends of Science. His page at SourceWatch, the liberal pro-global-warming tattletale reference, lists not a single other detail persuading me to ignore him for any reason at all. What of the FoS outfit? “In an August 12, 2006, The Globe and Mail revealed that the group had received significant funding via anonymous, indirect donations from the oil industry.” Huh. If they’re anonymous, how do you know they’re from the oil industry?

I took a peek at Globe and Mail article to find out.

Friends [of Science] dared not take money directly from energy companies. The optics, Mr. [Albert] Jacobs [geologist and retired oil-explorations manager] admits, would have been terrible.

This conundrum, he says, was solved by University of Calgary political scientist Barry Cooper, a well-known associate of Stephen Harper.

As his is privilege as a faculty member, Prof. Cooper set up a fund at the university dubbed the Science Education Fund. Donors were encouraged to give to the fund through the Calgary Foundation, which administers charitable giving in the Calgary area, and has a policy of guarding donors’ identities. The Science Education Fund in turn provides money for the Friends of Science, as well as Tim Ball’s travel expenses, according to Mr. Jacobs.

And who are the donors? No one will say.

“[The money’s] not exclusively from the oil and gas industry,” says Prof. Cooper. “It’s also from foundations and individuals. I can’t tell you the names of those companies, or the foundations for that matter, or the individuals.”

When pushed in another interview, however, Prof. Cooper admits, “There were some oil companies.”

Omigosh! So as the pro-global-warming movement spreads a whole lot of unfounded rumors about climate change, actively encouraging people to assess for themselves the merits of complicated climate models and the effect of greenhouse gases by — peeking out their windows and muttering about this hot summer or that mild winter — the oil companies are doing something besides taking it up the ass?

How ominous. I can hear that spooky organ music playing now.

But what I find really interesting is, relying on Source Watch to plumb the depths of whatever might slander Dr. Ball’s name so I don’t have to be burdened with reading through what he has to say…and that seems pretty safe — this is the extent of it. Dr. Ball gets his filthy lucre from FoS, FoS accepts private donations, and there’s oil companies in there. Somewhere. So I’ve heard.

You know…it just seems to me, if Dr. Ball has some firm evidence for what he’s claiming, that’s more important to the argument than how he pays his mortgage and buys his groceries. And if he doesn’t, well that would be more important too.

Whedon Revisited

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

You can tell from my meandering narrative that I’m uneasy about picking on poor Joss Whedon, as I did here. I do not know very much about his work. I’ve tried to watch it and I just find it to be a huge bore. I keep trying because I hear Mr. Whedon’s big contribution is the character-driven story; I’m a real big fan of character-driven stories. And then a few minutes into Buffy or Firefly my “it is not built for people like me” detector goes off like crazy, and my eyes won’t focus anymore.

Somewhere around ’97 my “not built for me” detector started chirping more loudly. I was the patriarch of a large household and trips out to the theater were prohibitively expensive…and check your archives. The best year in recent memory for shitty movies was 1997. And so — I started to develop more of an interest in what kind of movie we were going to see.

More than one person has told me that when the kids are with you and the woman is with you, whether you personally enjoy the movie or not is irrelevant. That’s crap. Crap, I say. You know why? One single movie comes out, like for example this onejust one…that tries to entertain the whole family and succeeds at this — that’s all the proof you need. They all can do it if they try. Criminy blazes dutch, making a movie these days costs seven, eight, nine figures. Set aside a couple thousand bucks. Work something into the script for Dad.

Everybody wins! Why not do it? It’s so easy, you’d have to put more effort into not to doing it, than into trying to get it done.

And yet, so many “entertainment” offerings try not. And succeed. From whence comes this juvenile, petulant attitude that you have to bore the shit out of poor ol’ daddy just to entertain the kids? What the hell kind of kids are those?

Anyway, back to the subject at hand…I do not know if Whedon is firmly stuck in the tiresome trope of Doofus Dad. I do not see any sign of it here. But I do see a lot of indicators here. It really doesn’t matter. The issue is whether this stuff is built for me or not, and time after time I find Mr. Whedon’s material is just not built for me. Adding insult to injury, whoever it is he’s trying to entertain, from what I can tell, is laboring under the burden of the above-mentioned pissy petulant anti-white-male attitude. They must place a value on this careful pasturization and cleansing of anything in the material that might please a patriarch.

Someone’s got daddy issues. There’s something ugly, to someone, about being reminded we’re all in the same boat. About them, whoever they may happen to be, grabbing a big ol’ bucket of popcorn and enjoying something with a six-foot straight white male. Something ugly about sharing that much common ground with the wrong demographic, even if it ends up being a positive experience. Must not happen.

Pure bigotry.

A rather far-fetched bit of conjecture for me given how little I know about Whedon. Or at least that’s what I thought…until I saw this. Someone’s mighty displeased with Joss. Some guilty-white-male guy doesn’t think the products are anti-white-male enough.

Joss Whedon is a misogynist homophobe

From the moment its theme in off-tune punk hit the air in 1997, television’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer has inspired a fanatical following rivaled only by shows with pointy-eared aliens. The uninitiated see why after just a few episodes. Written and created by Hollywood outsider and relative unknown Joss Whedon, Buffy features a deep, intelligent, character-driven style of writing rarely seen on television. The show tackles dark, heavy themes seemingly without fear, approaching difficult issues in an intricate, innovative way more characteristic of Russian novel than American teledrama. The fan base flocks to the show because of the honest treatment of its recurrent themes—the peril of love, the failure of modern paternalism, the pains of despised childhood, and, more than anything, the untapped power of strong, complex women.
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Yet this great and admirable strength hides Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s greatest weakness. Sure, the Buff’s all bad-ass on the surface, but scrape a few layers below and it soon becomes obvious that the slayer wears no clothes. Despite its Girl Power pretensions, despite all Whedon’s valiant efforts, Buffy is written by a guy, and it shows. The show’s rebellion against the patriarchy is built on a patriarchal foundation that, consciously or not, undermines many of the themes the show wanted us to think we were seeing. As strong as she is, Buffy’s girl power is unplugged time and again by hot guys with weird hair.

Consider Buffy’s overarching mythos. The deal is that into every generation, some mystical and mostly unexplored power calls forth a “slayer,” a young woman who’s [sic] job it is to protect the world from demons and dark things. Once called, the slayer is given great powers—supernatural strength, incredible stealth, and a bitchin’ wardrobe. Buffy suddenly has abs of steel and fists of fury. She’s faster than trains and leaps tall buildings and all that jazz. Buffy has everything mortal men dream of having.

Wow, the progressive is tempted to say. A girl superhero. How totally awesome! But wait. There’s a catch. The first failure of Whedon’s girl power is that Buffy has a watcher. In fact, all slayers everywhere have always had watchers. Slayers tend to be called young and die early, after all, and there’s a lot to learn in their short lives. They need somebody to guide them, to help explain their power, to help them understand just what it is they’re fighting.

This begs the question, though, why she needs to be “watched.” Why a “watcher” and not a “helper” or a “teacher”? And if she has to be watched, why must she be watched by a stuffy white guy like Rupert Giles? In fact, we meet several watchers in the course of the series, and all but three are stuffy, middle-aged white men, the very definition of Western paternalism. The only exceptions are a recurring Indian man who has no lines but looks tough, a snotty Brit woman who turns evil when offered supernatural powers of her own (season 3, “Revelations”), and a scared little blond woman who spends a few minutes trembling under the bemused eyes of the Cheney-like head watcher before being blown to bits (season 7, “Never Leave Me”). [emphasis mine]

Now, I don’t know how prevalent this viewpoint is. But I know for a fact it is out there: You can never marginalize the hated “stuffy white guy” quite enough to make us happy. It’s like some kind of perverted echo of what your momma used to tell you, as if to say: “If you can’t say something nasty (about the stuffy white guy) then don’t say anything at all.” As for prevalence — well, there must be an awful lot. This issue with comedy/drama on the big/little screen, once again, ingratiating itself with the “we don’t want to watch anything daddy might actually like” crowd, just keeps popping up and popping up. It’s at the point now where it’s truly difficult to get away from this stuff, and more than one person has inquired as to why I bother.

I don’t need to justify myself to anyone. And it isn’t that complicated anyway; I just like to have fun as much as the next person. And these little entertainment offerings aren’t fun for me. They aren’t supposed to be. They invite me to identify with characters with whom I’m not supposed to identify; and if I’m somehow able to identify with those characters, the surrounding product will be deemed unfit and the producer will try like the dickens not to make that mistake again.

I just figure I’m not supposed to be watching. Giving the daddy-haters what they want, ya know. If there’s money in my pocket that they end up not getting because of that, well hey. Nothing personal.

Japanese Husbands Try To Rekindle Marital Flame

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

What an interesting idea this is. Worth pondering on the eve of that peculiar “buy crap for women”…er…holiday.

Now with retirement looming, the 56-year-old [Mitsutoshi Fukatsu] wants to get to know his wife better. He calls her by her name, Setsuko, instead of just grunting.

Calling your woman by her first name. Huh. So all those folks who said I should’ve been doing that with ol’ what’s-her-name, they must have been trying to get me to be more Japanese.

And he says he recently learned a new phrase: “I love you.”

Ahhh…pussy.
Reminds me of something I saw on Miss Cellania’s website yesterday morning:

TOP TEN REASONS MEN DON’T SAY “I LOVE YOU”
1. They don’t mean it.
2. They want to get laid, but not *that* bad.
3. Their fathers didn’t say it to their mothers.
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10. If they say it, their penises will fall off.

TOP TEN REASONS WOMEN WANT MEN TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”
1. They like the words.
2. Girls, at times, think that the “words” are important.
3. They can brag to their friends that they got him to do it.
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10. The woman wants to see his penis fall off.

I just knew it.

Beware Claims That It’s Settled

Monday, February 5th, 2007

It will destroy us all!The Review & Outlook section of Opinion Journal notes that the news cycle swirling around the latest report on climate change is chock full of B.U.F.:

Climate of Opinion
The latest U.N. report shows the “warming” debate is far from settled.
Monday, February 5, 2007 12:01 a.m. EST

Last week’s headlines about the United Nations’ latest report on global warming were typically breathless, predicting doom and human damnation like the most fervent religious evangelical. Yet the real news in the fourth assessment from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) may be how far it is backpedaling on some key issues. Beware claims that the science of global warming is settled.

The document that caused such a stir was only a short policy report, a summary of the full scientific report due in May. Written mainly by policymakers (not scientists) who have a stake in the issue, the summary was long on dire predictions. The press reported the bullet points, noting that this latest summary pronounced with more than “90% confidence” that humans have been the main drivers of warming since the 1950s, and that higher temperatures and rising sea levels would result.

More pertinent is the underlying scientific report. And according to people who have seen that draft, it contains startling revisions of previous U.N. predictions. For example, the Center for Science and Public Policy has just released an illuminating analysis written by Lord Christopher Monckton, a one-time adviser to Margaret Thatcher who has become a voice of sanity on global warming.

Take rising sea levels. In its 2001 report, the U.N.’s best high-end estimate of the rise in sea levels by 2100 was three feet. Lord Monckton notes that the upcoming report’s high-end best estimate is 17 inches, or half the previous prediction. Similarly, the new report shows that the 2001 assessment had overestimated the human influence on climate change since the Industrial Revolution by at least one-third.

Seventeen inches by 2100. Huh.

Star Trek once had an episode called “Force of Nature” in the seventh season of The Next Generation, in which it was discovered the warp drive was slowly damaging the “fabric of space” or some such. That’s the one wherein Starfleet ordered an intragalactic speed limit of “Warp 5.” In the episode, the theory was proven. Remember how? Anybody?

A female alien scientist in a funny rubber mask threw her shuttlecraft into some kind of warp-thing, creating a rift, at the cost of her own life. She sacrificed herself to end the debate on whether there was a problem or not, and prove that there was.

It was obviously a comment on ecological issues in general, and perhaps on global warming in particular.

She killed herself in a dazzling display of pure altruism.

That’s fiction. In real life, it’s different…which is a problem because if “fans” of global warming who are also fans of Star Trek were intellectually honest for just a second or two, they’d have to concede the altruism was an important persuasive component to the message. Out here in the real world, nobody has behaved that way. Not one single damn time. Everybody who implores us to treat global warming as a serious threat, has something material to gain from our doing so. Material or otherwise.

Scientists are getting grant money, the U.N. is staying relevant, Al Gore is reviving his career somewhat, and so did Dennis Quaid. Hollywood’s made a lot of money off An Inconvenient Truth and The Day After Tomorrow.

The pattern continues. The Anthropogenic Global Warming movement wants more people to take it seriously. They want to win more converts. They would, if there was more demonstrable altruism to be seen, anywhere. And yet everyone who compels us to be more receptive to the idea, is making a buck off of it, is angling for attention, or else both apply. I know of no exceptions.

On Wonder Woman

Sunday, February 4th, 2007

Whedon CostumeThe photoshopping job you see at the right is extremely amateurish and crude. You can take it as my artist’s conception of the Wonder Woman costume Joss Whedon would have used in the upcoming movie. I never did hear about an actress confirmed for the title role. From what I know about Whedon, whatever the selection was going to be, it would have made a powerful and provocative statement about empowering women.

Meaning of course, the way I interpret it — and you can tell that from my artist’s conception — let’s go really light on things that might appeal to straight men.

Well, he’s off the project. I guess Rosie O’Donnell will have to stick to her regular job.

From what little I know about Whedon, his departure is a good thing. I’ve seen Firefly — it does have some pretty women in it. And they’re both cute. One of them runs around fully clothed all the time and the other one is a filthy whore. Great job Joss.

I’m still not sure what I saw. I know there are a lot of people who are more interested in Firefly than I am, and I’m glad they’ve found something they like. I know I spent a lot of time watching these characters, and at the end, I really didn’t give a crap what would happen to them next. I’m left with the impression that Mr. Whedon was trying to make a statement about something, and this impacted his ability to tell the story in an engaging way.

That is not to say I’m unhappy with what he was trying to say. The fact of the matter is, I have no clue what it is. I don’t even know for sure that I’m correct about him trying to say it. I couldn’t possibly care less.

It was a snoozer.

I hope his replacement goes back-to-basics and leaves the social engineering out of it entirely. The Wonder Woman I know, has strengths and weaknesses. A credible argument could be maintained that my vision is overly warped, mutated as it is from William Moulton Marston’s bondage/masochism figurine by 1970’s feminism.

Wonder WomanShe’s physically strong, mentally capable, creative, resourceful, agile and fast. She would be unforgettable, and possibly harmful, in the sack. But she might very well be a virgin. She’s like Lara Croft, nobody really even knows what her sexual preference is, or whether she has one at all. Six foot three with her boots on, an even six or 6’1″ barefoot.

Being highly intelligent, she understands men are watching her lustfully everywhere she goes, and that she could tone this down by dressing differently. But she doesn’t care because she has work to do. Her legs are long, muscular and sensual, her hips are round, her waist is wasp-like, her tits are enormous. Anybody clucking their tongues over that just needs to get the hell over it.

I should add that the point here isn’t quite so much to get me to watch the movie, the point is to make it into a commercial success. How much of a sensation does Warner Brothers want to cause with this? Something on par with the first Batman movie…or…something more like this one.

That’s the question. Some kind of answer to be forthcoming shortly, I’m sure.

Perhaps this is a good place to jot down the “Deer In Headlights” theory of action movies. This is, I believe, one of the reasons why movies with female action heroes almost always fail…that, and the reluctance to allow the story to make it into production without a thick coating of social commentary. Deer in the headlights works like this: If the action hero seems to have the situation under control, the audience will stop caring about what happens to him. They’re going to watch the screen to see how he is going to handle the danger and stop watching it to find out if he’s going to handle it.

For this reason it’s important to show his doubts. If he doesn’t have doubts that are made visible to the audience in some way, all you’re doing is dazzling people with athletics and special effects. That puts the whole movie on par with a cheerleading or dance squad routine.

Look at some of the best moments out of Indiana Jones. He doesn’t know if he’ll outrun the boulder. He doesn’t know if he’ll find Marion’s basket. He doesn’t know if he’ll catch the truck. He flies by the seat of his pants, and part & parcel of that is ignorance toward what will happen next…and real fear.

Does Hollywood have what it takes to find an athletic, strong, tall woman with great-looking legs, and put her in a movie in which she shows real fear just like Indiana Jones, enduring the slings and arrows of political correctness that will come flying in afterwards? I dunno. I’m doubting it.

Some movies enjoy success without following the Dear in Headlights rule. Maybe that’s the most promising route Wonder Woman can take. But you have to do a lot of things right in order to pull that off, and in any case, following the rule always makes for a better action film. So in this sense, the poor Amazon is doomed to a potential for success that is limited, if not made impossible altogether.

Update: I guess this is “I’ve been dismissed” day in superhero-world. David Goyer is no longer working on The Flash.

On Libby’s Trial

Sunday, February 4th, 2007

I can see there is one forensic skill that has risen to involve paramount importance in reading about the Libby trial: The ability to distinguish objective statements from subjective ones. I’ve come to that conclusion because over time, I’ve observed a skill that has snowballed into a crushing level of weight and importance in writing about the trial, involves mixing objective and subjective statements together so that they all look alike.

Yeah, that’s right. On this subject, writers and readers assume opposite roles in an inimical relationship. Writers seek to bewilder and confuse readers, and the few readers who are interested and genuinely curious, seek to drag said truth kicking-and-screaming out of the writers.

What else am I supposed to think. After all, what happened here — within the story. What’s the most that could have happened, and what’s the least that could have happened.

Cheney’s shadow hangs over Libby trial
Testimony points out his role in trying to dampen Joseph Wilson’s criticism
By R. Jeffrey Smith and Carol D. Leonnig
Washington Post Staff Writers
Updated: 9:37 p.m. PT Feb 3, 2007

Vice President Cheney’s press officer, Cathie Martin, approached his chief of staff, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, on Air Force Two on July 12, 2003, to ask how she should respond to journalists’ questions about Joseph C. Wilson IV. Libby looked over one of the reporters’ questions and told Martin: “Well, let me go talk to the boss and I’ll be back.”

On Libby’s return, Martin testified in federal court last week, he brought a card with detailed replies dictated by Cheney, including a highly partisan, incomplete summary of Wilson’s investigation into Iraq’s suspected weapons of mass destruction program.

Libby subsequently called a reporter, read him the statement, and said — according to the reporter — he had “heard” that Wilson’s investigation was instigated by his wife, an employee at the CIA, later identified as Valerie Plame. The reporter, Matthew Cooper of Time magazine, was one of five people with whom Libby discussed Plame’s CIA status during those critical weeks that summer.

Highly partisan, incomplete summary. Those descriptors are subjective, not objective — you don’t find them to be “true,” instead, you either agree with them or you don’t. So what happened? Scooter Libby, apparently after having consulted with the Vice President, produced a summary of Wilson’s fishing expedition that left out something someone else would have wanted left in. Oh, NOES!!! The Vice President is doing things different than the way things would have been done by someone else who is not the Vice President!

I mean, am I misreading that? In what way?

Read the rest of the story. It seems to imply that Libby just found out from Vice President Cheney that Joseph Wilson’s wife had a hand in sending the ambassador to Nigeria, and lied by omission when he said “he had heard” this was the case. If indeed that is what the story is implying, do we have that information? And come to think of it, what would that be, objective or subjective? You could say it’s objective…you could…if it could be objectively measured that Scooter should’ve spilled what someone else thinks Scooter should’ve spilled. Well, the phrase “someone else thinks” removes this matter from the realm of objectivity.

That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be mentioned. What it means is, by itself, this is not news.

There are two defenses I can see that are suitable for both Libby and the Vice President’s office. They both deal with the “perjury trap.” The first comes under the category of “Things That Make You Go Hmmmm” and it is from, of all people, Ann Coulter.

The way Libby remembered it, NBC’s Tim Russert was the first one to tell him. But the way Russert remembers it, he didn’t tell Libby about Wilson’s wife. (And the way Wilson remembers it, he was sent to Niger by Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise.)

Try this: Who told you Wilson was sent to Niger by his wife? Who told you a bipartisan Senate panel concluded that Joe Wilson was lying when he denied that his wife had sent him to Niger? While we’re at it, who was the first person to correct you on your pronunciation of “Niger”? I don’t remember, either — and I’m not running a war.

The second is the product of a Clinton-lovin’ liberal by the name of Marc Perkel and, as such, it relies on confusing the objective with the subjective. Like they say in hokey pokey…that’s what it’s all about. The specific subjective notion is that the perjury trap is “abhorrent.” It must be abhorrent, because a court found it to be abhorrent.

Oh no, Perkel’s comments are not written with regard to Scooter Libby’s trial. The subject is Clinton’s impeachment trial in the Senate. I’m gonna rag on this guy for a few paragraphs. His introduction promises, by implication, a logically durable argument and he doesn’t deliver.

Perjury Trap / Legal Perspective / Definitions

In the case of United States vs. Chen, 933 F.2d 793, 796-97, A perjury trap is created when the government calls a witness before the grand jury for the primary purpose of obtaining testimony from him in order to prosecute him later for perjury. United States v. Simone, 627 F. Supp. 1264, 1268 (D. N.J. 1986) (perjury trap involves “the deliberate use of a judicial proceeding to secure perjured testimony, a concept in itself abhorrent”). It involves the government’s use of its investigatory powers to secure a perjury indictment on matters which are neither material nor germane to a legitimate ongoing investigation of the grand jury. See United States v. Crisconi, 520 F. Supp. 915, 920 (D. Del. 1981). Such governmental conduct might violate a defendant’s fifth amendment right to due process, Simone, 627 F. Supp. at 1267-72, or be an abuse of grand jury proceedings, Crisconi, 520 F. Supp. at 920. See generally Gershman, The “Perjury Trap”, 129 U. Pa. L. Rev. 624, 683 (1981).

The Chen case goes on to say, “If a court divines that the purpose of repetitious questioning is to coax a witness into the commission of perjury . . . such conduct would be an abuse of the grand jury process.”

Perjury Trap as applied to President Clinton

The facts of the matter are rather obvious. This whole process, ever since Starr was appointed was an Impeachment in search of a Crime. Having investigated Whitewater, TravelGate, FileGate, the Foster Suicide, and a number of other artificial scandals, and having failed to find a crime, Starr was running out of things to investigate. Then one day Linda Tripp comes forward with a tape of Monica Lewinsky talking about having sexual contact (not sexual relations) with the President. Starr interviewed her without a lawyer and attempted to put a wire on her to get the President.

In spite of the fact that Starr had actual knowledge of the Lewinsky affair, he failed to reveal his knowledge to the President’s counsel. The idea was to catch the President by surprise in the Jones deposition. As we all know, having sex is neither a criminal act nor an impeachable offense. However, it is extremely embarrassing and it is something that most of us would tend to lie about. In fact, we as a society have a lot of sexual phobias and because we Americans can not face our own sexuality, we as a society deal with it by lying about sex. In other words, lying about sex is an established American custom. I would point out that although most people consider the President’s behavior to be sinful, sexual behavior is a human instinct that is more powerful than reason and is necessary for reproduction; and, if not for such instincts as depicted by the President’s behavior, the human race would have been extinct millions of years ago. But that’s another argum ent that I will save for another day. My point here is that because our American culture will not face sexual behavior from a realistic perspective, it is normal and expected in our society to lie about sex. This is especially true if you are an elected official.

Perkel leverages this reasoning with “the combination my of legal skills, my political skills, and the logical disciplines my of being [sic] a computer programmer.” It is the last of those, grammatically scrambled as it may be, for which I have the most respect. It is the only one of his credentials I can match, and I apply reasoning skills to what I’m reading in the news each and every day — skills I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t programmed computers.

But there are some key differences between Mr. Perkel’s background and mine.

For one thing, I would never use my achievements as a computer programmer, just by themselves, to convince someone to listen to the wisdom of my argument. It’s pretentious, and I think it would be ineffective. People don’t understand it. Anyone who does understand where such an argument is going, probably understands it because they’ve programmed computers themselves, and I can pretty much promise they will look at it differently. You’ve got better-than-even odds they’ll figure out that programming is an activity you might as well just pass up if you lack the reasoning and deductive skills to look at things, and figure out what they mean. And to strategize. And to organize. But — people being the way they are, if a hostile mindset does indeed have this background, he’ll use it to fortify his own argument.

“That guy’s programmed computers. He must have strong reasoning skills. I’d better listen to him.” Never heard anyone express those ideas in sequence…about me or about anyone else. It’s just not the way people work.

And that brings me to the second difference.

If an observer does indeed have adequate reasoning skills, from the experiences of computer programming or from something else, the application of those skills to Mr. Perkel’s argument is going to take place as his argument is pursued. One statement at a time. As a thesis. What’s Mr. Perkel’s thesis? Perjury traps may violate the fifth amendment. He found a court that says they do, and that they are abhorrent…although he concedes the Supreme Court has yet to comment on the issue. But it’s all a red herring in Clinton’s case anyway, because “lying about sex is an established American custom.”

I wonder what this guy has programmed. Here he is writing about the “logical disciplines” he has from his computer programming, carefully defining where the legal jurisprudence has been created and where it has not been created, and then rather than following this logically he just dismisses it all by saying truth doesn’t matter.

So whatever a logical discipline means to him, at least within the scope of Clinton’s impeachment, it’s got something to do with a concept antithetical to what’s true…not something that rests upon what’s true or can establish what’s true.

Perhaps because of this, he’s lost track of — again — what’s objective and what’s subjective. Perjury traps are “abhorrent.” All right, I agree. But who says so? Just because Perkel and I agree on this, doesn’t make it universally so. It’s an opinionated statement. Someone else might say otherwise. And…lying is expected in matters of sex. Really? Even in grand jury testimony? Expected by who?

ClippyHey, ever use software built by a computer programmer wholly unaccustomed to dealing with the viewpoints of others? It’s pretty frustrating, and most computer users have been through the experience at least once. Maybe Mr. Perkel has unintentionally identified what’s wrong with how some computer applications are built. Computer programmer thinks when you’re writing a letter, you must want Mr. Clip-It to jump up and say “It looks like you are writing a letter!” and offer some helpful tips. Eh, very few people want that. But somewhere, a computer programmer figured out, heck, if he was the guy writing the letter he’d want to see Clippy. Ipso facto, that’s what everybody else wants too.

Does it work? Well speaking for myself, I’ve never met anyone who’s seen Clippy, who doesn’t want to kill him. He’s like Microsoft’s answer to Jar Jar Binks.

But some of our programmers live in tiny worlds, where Clippy is a sight for sore eyes. And lying about sex is expected. They’re simply unaccustomed to dealing with the viewpoints of others, unless said others already think in the same way. They may be experienced at figuring out what to type in to make the computer do this-or-that, but there’s other stuff to be done too. Like, when the computer does something else, you’ve got to figure out why it’s doing that. And even more importantly than that, and more germane to “logical disciplines” you pick up from programming and apply elsewhere — nobody’s actually going to tell you to make the computer do that. You’ve got to figure out what the user is going to want.

Mmmkay, anyway back to the subject at hand. Objective…subjective. As far as the modern culture and the prevailing viewpoint therein, and the history of that prevailing viewpoint — we’re at an interesting crossroads. People are acting mighty peculiar. Conservative, liberal, other…it seems everyone wants to be applauded for their ability to think things through. Nobody wants to be accused of thinking things, just because someone else gave them instructions to think those things.

But look at what’s up here. Scooter Libby hands Cathie Martin a note. Cathie Martin thinks something should have been on the note that isn’t there. She testifies to this effect and someone else figures this is news.

What useful information has been passed around here? Looks to me like we got some testimony out of Martin, that she thinks things should’ve been worded differently. No shit. I’m sure a lot of folks are going to think this post should have been worded differently. Did anything else newsworthy happen that day? Anything? Hello? Buuueeeellleerrr?

On Gavin

Friday, February 2nd, 2007

NewsomI really don’t know whether Gavin Newsom is going to survive this. The fitness of our high officials for public office, and how said fitness is damaged by personal indiscretions, is probably the one thing in our governmental process that is left more up to public whim than anything else. It all depends on the desire of the commoners to control each other.

The desire part, I think, is something that applies to all of us…but completely engulfs nobody. We all have a desire to uphold each other to some moral standard, and we all have a desire to be left alone. Most of us can noodle things through with sufficient cohesion, to understand some sort of compromise is necessary. Without it, we paint ourselves into the corner of insisting upon conduct and inspection we aren’t willing to accept in our own lives. And so, nearly all of us understand there’s a line somewhere.

The public whim part is a little trickier. It depends on some kind of personal “antenna” that allows certain individuals to understand what is going on with the prevailing viewpoint. I have less of this antenna than most people. I seem to be missing it entirely.

I am still shocked to this day that Bill Clinton “got away with it.” It’s fair to say in my lifetime, this is the one event in American politics that strayed furthest away from my predictions, at the moment it was oncoming and at any other moment. I never would have expected he or anyone else could waggle a finger at the camera and insist “I didn’t do it,” get tripped up with DNA evidence, and — finally — not only survive, but build up a sick cult following celebrating how cool it was that he dodged the bullet. I mean, what the FUCK.

I don’t get it. In the years since, many an exasperated soul has tried to explain it to me. Something to do with separating “performance in public office from his private life.” They think I’m failing to distinguish something important; I think they’re splitting hairs. Lying is lying, right?

And as if some omnipresent Kismet decided my point needed to be proven, along comes Mayor Gavin. The very people lecturing me about the distinction between public and private, are wondering how they can trust Newsom who was screwing his friend’s wife.

Nine years ago, conservatives were saying (before liberals shushed them up) “How can we trust Bill Clinton when we know he has been lying to Hillary?” Mmmmkay…no reasonable answer need be forthcoming to this, because the question is indecent. Alrighty. Now the same folks are scratching their heads over Gavin…who was routinely lying to some guy on his staff…some guy who was not Gavin’s wife.

Yes you can’t do this if you’re Gavin Newsom, unless you’re the kind of guy to whom lying comes fairly easily. Riiiiggghhhttt. That’s the point. Adulterers are liars, by definition. Try fornicating with the wife of someone you know. Try doing it when you’re married to another woman. Try doing this…without lying.

You will lie, and if you don’t like lying you’re going to stop. If you keep going because you get a thrill out of it, you get a thrill out of lying. End of story.

Judgmental? You’re goddamn right. Maybe even hypocritical. I don’t like my public officials lying to me.

But don’t blame me for anything. We already had a nationwide referendum on whether elected officials should keep hanging around after they’ve been busted for cheating and lying, and I said once they get caught they’re gone. All these Clinton-lovers who are so genuinely shell-shocked over Newsom’s shenanigans, I suppose they’re getting an education about why exactly this is.

Sanction of the Victim

Friday, February 2nd, 2007

So three days ago I dropped this cryptic clue and then messed around with a lot of non-blog stuff in my life…I have to do that every now and then, ya know. I said this upcoming Friday has something to do with things that should be on our minds, and those things have nothing to do with groundhogs or shadows. Here it is Friday.

So what was I talking about?

I’ll get to that. First, just as a mental exercise, try this.

Suppose there is an imaginary country that is hit by the Islamic psycopaths in a nature similar to the September 11 attacks. And they lose their government — not to the Islamic psycopaths, but to those who are determined to fight the psychopaths. Imagine that this new government is everything our Hollywood halfwits say the Bush/Cheney government is: Refusal to listen to others; rampant incompetence; suspension and removal of constitutional freedoms, people disappearing overnight, dissenters silenced, the whole shebang. And when it’s over, you can’t travel from one place to another without telling this new government what you’re doing there and when you’ll be back…and waiting for the okay to go ahead.

Now…imagine some bright, literate, intelligent young girl-woman lies to the pencil-necked bureaucrats over there, so that she can come over here. She starts a career as a scriptwriter right here in the United States, and after the real September 11 attacks starts to warn us about where we are headed. She warns us that this road to disaster ends in death…and it begins with a surrendering of your ability to noodle things through, as an independent, rational individual, and trusting your government to do that for you.

Sounds like some kind of a screed straight out of DailyKOS, right? Or the skeleton to an unfinished script rattling around in Hollywood. Maybe even getting a red-light because it was too liberal; the blue-state elites down there thought it was great in spirit, but lacking in subtlety. They wouldn’t market it because we would never buy it.

And yet.

RandRemove terrorist attacks, and replace them with economic disaster, with a touch of anti-semitism mixed in to the new government’s countermeasures. Change nothing else and what you are left with is the early biography of Alyssa Rosenbaum, whom you know as Ayn Rand, b. February 2, 1905.

Throughout her life she described herself as both a philosopher and a writer; in which domain did she achieve excellence? As a writer, to answer that you first have to define the distinction between skill and talent. She possessed an abundance of the former. In this surgical-precision selection of exactly the right noun, adjective and verb, she is in a class by herself. Talent? I have my reservations about this…not that I have much place to talk. Talent as a writer, has something to do with the effectiveness with which one communicates ideas. As an overwhelmingly strong Yin she drew the perimeter around her efforts, and the ability of others to properly interpret her content was decidedly outside of it.

As a direct consequence of this, she wrote like George Will. Or…some guy who blogs away on “a blog nobody reads.”

The three of us have it in common, that the point to writing is primarily just to get the thought out there. Carve the legacy. Take charge of the communication process right up to, and including, the point where ambiguity is eradicated to the most thorough extent possible. Not one single inch further than that, though. How the ideas are absorbed by those who consume them — that is outside of our scope. There is a boundary to the project-at-hand, and a reason for defining where it is. Efforts applied outside of that line are inevitably ineffectual, and could even be damaging.

I have noticed that the tendency to approach life this way, seems to be inexplicably intertwined with the tendency to think as an individual — to hoarde the responsibility and rewards associated with the cognitive and cogitative processes to onesself. Here at the blog that nobody reads, we call this the Yin and Yang theory and have written a great deal about it.

Ayn Rand’s message for us — it is a decidedly post-industrial-revolution message, but I would argue it’s timeless by nature — is this: In matters of government, think like Yin. Define your boundaries. Take charge of your own thinking, for you alone are responsible for the plausibility of the conclusions you reach and the wisdom involved in the actions you take. You are the sole stakeholder there. Necessarily, this involves the reduction of actions taken for “public good”…down to a pinpoint. For who is the stakeholder in those? Breezy, half-assed answers like “we all are” or “the least among us” are insufficiently reinforced to sustain any pursuit of the discussion at hand.

“Public” will…nobody ultimately responsible for the direction of that will, insofar as wisdom, strategy or accuracy…results in things being done that benefit no one, over the longer term. It results in death. And there is a certain direction this takes: Concentration of authority over even the most mundane decisions, into elite groups; the inevitable attack upon individuality, since thinking men only be governed, but never “ruled” in the classic sense; Bathosploration; absurd clean-up efforts at decidedly inappropriate times, of the alphabetize-the-spice-rack variety, kind of like the proverbial rearranging of the deck chairs on the Titanic. A government too infatuated with its own public image, too far invested in appealing to the Yang, over time, begins to desire approval from the Yang and from nobody else.

And this ultimately means the government compels us to recognize and to cogitate all together.

I’m sure our liberals would argue that if Ayn Rand were alive today, she’d have just as much criticism for the Bush administration as anyone else. I’m sure they’re right about that. And yet, I have to ask: Can’t our leftists find a way to speak out against his policies, that would appeal better to her sensibilities? Since this century began, as they have desperately grasped at the votes needed just to present the President with a more hostile Congress, they have made a point of recruiting from the Yang and from nobody else. Their initiatives, at least the ones that don’t deal with attacking the individual, all involve Trudging Toward Zero; endeavoring toward an ideal rather than into a frontier. Captain Kirk’s famous introduction — “to boldly go where no man has gone before” — has absolutely no place for them. They work inward, eliminating injury and discomfort, scolding and chastising anyone who would direct resources to anything else including the inspection of what might be the origin of such injury or discomfort.

They are most threatening when the injuries and discomforts are not re-inflicted, for it is then that they flail about looking for other things to do. Bellies must be filled until they are all full — and then — we must vigorously attack the obesity epidemic. And then we must inspect nutritional balances. And then we must inspect racial and gender differentials; why are women more prone to calcium deficiencies than men? And then, and then, and then.

To keep themselves appealing, they have to talk up only one task in this strategy at a time; to inspect where it’s all going, is to associate it with death. To eliminate all injuries, you have to eliminate all discomforts; to eliminate discomfort, you have to eliminate all exigencies; to eliminate all exigencies you have to eliminate all variants, and to eliminate variants you have to eradicate life. The ultimate goal of socialism is non-existence. The vision it has for humanity, is to behave like the cartoon character who jumps into a hole and pulls the hole itself in after him. To avoid that, socialism would have to progress only a limited distance down its selected path, and then stop; it being an Absolutist ideology by nature, this is impossible.

And here in the United States, liberals have become nothing more than socialists sufficiently clever to throw the word “freedom” around when they describe what they want to do. They want to tell everyone what to believe, so they can make everyone forget that you can’t eliminate all discomfort without eliminating life. They, too, are absolutists. They, too, will never, ever stop. No defeat is ever taken as rejection; defeat is simply a signal that different packaging must be used for the same product. And no victory is ever complete. There is always another discomfort to be attacked, and then another, and then another. Until life ends outright, or is made impossible. This trail does not end short of that cliff, and our “trail bosses” will not abandon it before said cliff. It’s absolutist; it doesn’t waver, yield, or stop. Liberalism is death. We distinguish one from the other, only when we think in the way we are told to think, by others.

This is unavoidable. Our individual achievements, our body temperatures, our pulses…anything out of some kind of norm, which manifests the fact that we still live…these are targets. To be recognized by liberals as an unwarranted discomfort, imposed upon this class if not on that one, and thus to be eradicated. If not now, then later.

They have no choice. Once life is comfortable, the constituents must be prevailed-upon to demand more comfort. No woodworking project is ever sanded sufficiently, to be removed from the lathe. That’s what liberalism has become. Achievement? Accomplishment? Making things work? Bah. We are all here to be made comfortable. The purpose of life is to be happy. And yet…to bring that about, our liberals excite us into unhappiness, in perpetuity. All thinking people would recognize this as inherently self-contradictory — and so — our liberals have a solution for that too. Stop thinking. Let us do all the thinking. “Bush lied” because we said he did, stop asking what the lie was. The terrorist attack was unfortunate, but stop thinking about it. Think about Social Security instead. Bush is opposed to freedom and we are in favor of it…because we say so. Stop asking questions.

Before it is over, they’ll take things away from us that we need, to support the lives we have built for ourselves. They’ll do far worse than ask “Who told you to build that?” They’ll demand that we approve of what they take from us. They’ll demand Sanction of the Victim. Unprecedented? Not by a damn sight. Since 1933, this is the way they have always worked.

A lot of people are going to spend the day watching that Bill Murray movie. While you’re at it, go buy Atlas Shrugged, used & new from $3.95. Try to get it finished by Memorial Day. Read the first three chapters by Valentine’s Day. They, you will find, are exactly like what is happening in the world right now.

Kind of spooky, huh?

Thing I Know #112. Strong leadership is a dialog: That which is led, states the problem, the leader provides the solution. It’s a weak brand of leadership that addresses a problem by directing people to ignore the problem.

I Doubt It

Sunday, January 28th, 2007

America “squandering the world’s goodwill.” The Religious Right. Open-minded college grads and professors. Repentant murderers. I doubt them all.

Make a good case, and I’ll believe in some of them again. But as things sit now, every single shred I’ve ever been given to believe in such things, in my entire lifetime, has been confined to the realm of instructions on what I’m supposed to be thinking. No evidence, none at all.

I’m ready for some, and until I get it these ideas are indefinitely confined to idea-purgatory. Should’ve done it years ago.

Pay As You Go

Friday, January 26th, 2007

According to Pete du Pont, it’s a sneaky way to make Government bigger.

Best Sentence VII

Friday, January 26th, 2007

From the skinny blonde one Wednesday afternoon. A message for our times, specifically, these first few weeks of the new year…

…polls…are nothing but name recognition contests…’arsenic’ and ‘proctologist’ have sky-high name recognition going for them, too.

Who ever looks back on poll results fondly? Or wistfully? “Gee, I’m glad we looked at that poll.” “Golly, I wish we paid closer attention to the polls.”

They’re right…sometimes. Kind of in the same way a million monkeys at a million typewriters might eventually write MacBeth or something.

Whiskey…Tango…Foxtrot… XI

Thursday, January 25th, 2007

Via blogger friend Phil: Self-explanatory. Good thing to remember for later when you see people bickering over whether a demonstration drew ten people or ten thousand.

Germans put price on protesting
They refuse to rally for neo-Nazis, but as long as the price is right a new type of German mercenary will take to the streets and protest for you.

Young, good-looking, and available for around 150 euros (£100), more than 300 would-be protesters are marketing themselves on a German rental website.

Also, “our country’s reputation” with other folks, like in Europe. In Germany, there has got to be a market for this. There would be no market for it at all, none whatsoever, if people just figured out what they figured out without absorbing pre-digested opinions from other people.

No, I’m not going to generalize across an entire continent. But there’s something going on there, and it doesn’t necessarily harbor a good example for us to follow here.

Global Warming Links

Wednesday, January 24th, 2007

Well my goodness, they have been piling up without me putting out even a half-assed effort to keep up with them, huh?

It’s a very important issue for our time. We know the earth is getting much warmer lately, and that man is the only cause of it. If we reform our infrastructure, put so many factories out of commission that the world’s major superpower is corrupting our environment no more than the northern tip of Switzerland, come what may — we just might live. If we don’t, we’ll drown in one bitchin’ tsunami after another.

We know this to be true. How do we know it? Because our Democrats really played up the Mark Foley scandal and they were able to b-a-r-e-l-y take over Congress, so President Bush was cowed last night into saying:

America is on the verge of technological breakthroughs that will enable us to live our lives less dependent on oil. These technologies will help us become better stewards of the environment – and they will help us to confront the serious challenge of global climate change. [emphasis mine]

So there ya have it. Congressman pervert sends nasty e-mails to page boys…new Congress…President says something…Presto. That’s the way we know things. Kind of reminds me of what Tommy Lee Jones said in Men in Black…a thousand years ago we knew the earth was the center of the universe, 500 years ago we knew the earth was flat and 5 minutes ago you knew we are alone in the universe. That is pretty much it. We “know” the earth is heating up and we “know” it’s our fault.

A few days ago I pulled this off the Wikipedia entry for the Weather Channel. I saved it because it looked useful, and in my opinion it did not comport with NPOV, the Neutral Point-of-View doctrine that is central to Wikipedia’s quality standards. See, I like NPOV myself, but I don’t think things have to be NPOV to be useful. You hear from both sides, however irrational and bigoted they may be, you’ll learn much more than if you just stick to the middle of the road.

But Wikipedia is not the place for this kind of practice. So it was easy to see, this was going to go away. So I saved it. Sure enough, it’s no longer there.

Controversies

On December 21, 2006, Dr. Heidi Cullen posted JUNK CONTROVERSY NOT JUNK SCIENCE… in The Weather Channel’s web site. Dr. Cullen’s posting took the position that American Meteorological Society (AMS) should strip the certification of any meteorologist that publicly questions that global warming is anything other than a manmade phenomenon. This position of marginalizing meteorologists who argue that recent weather variations may have a natural explanations struck many scientist as politically motivated and flawed. While Dr. Cullen and The Weather Channel denied any political motivation, the position generated significant editorial comment. JUNK CONTROVERSY NOT JUNK SCIENCE

The move away from scientific forecasting of the weather to sensationalized leftist political advocacy is in part due to the influence of Wonya Lucas, executive vice president and general manager of The Weather Channel Networks. Lucas admitted in a recent interview with Media Village that the reprogramming of The Weather Channel was influenced by her tenure at CNN when that network shifted from presenting straight news to personality-driven programming. The Weather Channel Takes on Global Warming

I saw that one coming. What surprised me, was the scolding tone of the person who I’m assuming was responsible for the removal. He could be talking about something else; I hope so.

We have an anon IP who is continually inserting right-slanted edits into the section on the 2007 blog controversy. For what it’s worth, while conservatives seem to be trying to make this into a cause celebre (and there is some indication that this may be an astroturf campaign), the vast majority of the scientific community considers it to be a right-wing temper tantrum and therefore a tempest in a teapot. It also does not help that said anon clearly lacks the scientific background to be making knowledgeable contributions to this section — no, you’re not required to have a PhD, but a back-of-the-envelope understanding of the basic issues involved (as well as a firm grasp of the scientific definition of “theory”) would go a long way towards knowing what is needed to comment knowledgeably.

As it is, the article fails to reflect both that anthrogenic global warming is in fact the accepted scientific consensus, and that the vast majority of Dr. Cullen’s critics are coming from the right side of the political spectrum. Thoughts? [emphasis mine]

If this is the fellow responsible for removing the section quoted above, I approve of the action but strongly deplore his reasoning. Since my objection is to the reasoning, I don’t suppose it very much matters whether there is any connection at all between the Wonya Lucas tidbit, and Mister “back of the envelope” boy. His is an exercise in Clean Thinking, which over the long term is responsible for nothing that’s helped us, ever. Did it belong in Wikipedia? Absolutely not. Am I better off not knowing it? Eh…I don’t think so…and I somewhat resent having secrets kept from me, and having some bill-o-goods sold to me that this dumbing-down is for my benefit.

Wonya LucasI like knowing about Wonya Lucas. She seems to be a big part of the story. Earlier this month Melanie Morgan wrote up an expose that you’ll never get any of these “purists” to take seriously, since it appeared in WorldNet Daily. But it’s good to know.

The Weather Channel debuted in 1982 and went on to earn a reputation as a well-known and respected cable network. The explosive success of the cable channel prompted the publication of a book marking the network’s 20th anniversary. That success has been based on the fact that weather forecasts are sought after by a vast number of Americans on a near-daily basis.

What had been nice about The Weather Channel is that through most of its history it stayed clear of political propaganda and focused on delivering weather forecasts to the nation, supplemented with riveting live reports from the front lines of hurricanes, winter blizzards and springtime floods.

But no more. The Weather Channel is now engaged in a con job on the American people, attempting to scare the public that their actions are destroying the planet by creating a global warming crisis.

The move away from scientific forecasting of the weather to sensationalized leftist political advocacy is in part due to the influence of Wonya Lucas, executive vice president and general manager of The Weather Channel Networks.

Lucas admitted in a recent interview with Media Village that the reprogramming of The Weather Channel was influenced by her tenure at CNN when that network shifted from presenting straight news to personality-driven programming.

Lucas decided that what was good for CNN was good for The Weather Channel, and the objectivity and respectability of the network has now been thrown out the window. It doesn’t matter that CNN’s turn to the left has caused their ratings to plummet; The Weather Channel’s embraced its model.

Media Village reported that the move by The Weather Channel “is intended to establish a broader perspective on the weather category and, says Lucas, to move the brand from functional to emotional.”

Emotional weather forecasting?

Good question. Mixing emotion and thinking can lead to some bad stuff. And some scientists are beginning to worry about it…just a little.

Problem is, global warming may not have caused Hurricane Katrina, and last summer’s heat waves were equaled and, in many cases, surpassed by heat in the 1930s.

In their efforts to capture the public’s attention, then, have climate scientists oversold global warming? It’s probably not a majority view, but a few climate scientists are beginning to question whether some dire predictions push the science too far.

“Some of us are wondering if we have created a monster,” says Kevin Vranes, a climate scientist at the University of Colorado.

Now, I have been repeatedly instructed that I am supposed to believe “all” the scientists agree with the global warming mantra — the exceptions are limited to phony scientists who are “on the payroll of the energy industry.” I do not know if James Spann is on the payroll of the energy industry, but I’m confident that if he can be linked to it in any way, I’ll be told about it any minute now. Because he’s gone on the record and said something…unclean

The climate of this planet has been changing since God put the planet here. It will always change, and the warming in the last 10 years is not much difference than the warming we saw in the 1930s and other decades. And, lets not forget we are at the end of the ice age in which ice covered most of North America and Northern Europe.

If you don’t like to listen to me, find another meteorologist with no tie to grant money for research on the subject. I would not listen to anyone that is a politician, a journalist, or someone in science who is generating revenue from this issue.
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I have nothing against “The Weather Channel”, but they have crossed the line into a political and cultural region where I simply won’t go.

So there ya have it. What we know about global warming, is that the earth has a “mean” temperature, and this temperature is subject to flux. Good thing that it is; what stays static, is limited to things that are dead. Tragically, we have linked the fluctuation to imminent death, when in reality it is a sign of life. The suggestion of doom, thanks to executives like Lucas, has caused a surge of adrenaline to inundate the issue and everything that touches it.

We have much written about it. Some of it is very well-thought-out and balanced, and some of it is anything but.

But the bottom-line is, as far as what everyone wants to know about — the theory that we’re causing our own imminent destruction — it’s probably a crock.

All our models of the earth climate are incomplete. That’s why they keep changing, and that’s why climate scientists keep finding surprises. As Rummy used to say, there are a ton of “unknown unknowns” out there. The real world is full of x’s, y’s and z’s, far more than we can write little models about. How do you extract the human contribution from a vast number of unknowns?

That’s why constant testing is needed, and why it is so frustrating to do frontier science properly.

Science is difficult because nature always has another surprise in store for us, dammit! Einstein rejected quantum mechanics, and was wrong about that. Newton went wrong on the proof of calculus, a problem that didn’t get solved until 1900. Scientists are always wrong — they are just less wrong now than they were before (if everything is going well).

Time Machine Lunacy

Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007

It occurs to me that if one wants to be committed to a looney-bin, without lying about anything or deceiving anyone in any way, a time machine set to the right year will do the trick. The right year, and a carefully-selected tidbit of factual disclosure.

Hello good people of 2006! I’m from the future. Democrats are going to take over Congress, and one of the first things they’ll do is ask for direction from those whackjobs at DailyKOS. You think I kid! I’m as serious as a heart attack.

See what I mean? Off you go, and here’s your straightjacket. And yet…here we are.

Hello good people of 2005! I’m from the future. Democrats are blaming George Bush for hurricanes. Yes. They really, truly are.
Hello 2004! George Bush is thought by many to be the most “hated” President ever, and it looks like he is, even though he’s won more popular votes than any President in history.

It’s just awfully tough for me to believe we would be allowed to keep our freedom as responsible, sane people, after uttering such drivel. It all makes sense now; in fact, in some quarters you’ll be subjected to some form of verbal assault if you don’t go along with it. But we wouldn’t be able to explain it to the people of yesteryear. We’re like the frog sitting in a pot of water, raised to a rolling boil degree-by-degree.

Hello 2003! We have captured Saddam Hussein and he’s been executed; we’re having a lively debate about whether this makes the world any safer. The folks who think it was a bad move, have pretty much won the debate, even though they are never — ever — called upon to say what should have been done differently.
Hello 2002! Evidence has been produced that the people in the U.N. voting against an invasion of Iraq, are on Saddam Hussein’s payroll through the oil-for-food program. To the tune of billions of dollars. What are we doing to bring them to justice? Nothing. Actually, hardly anyone ever talks about it.
Hello 2001! I dunno what to say to you…just hug your kids. And may God be with you.
Hello 2000! If you give Republicans control of all three branches of government, Democrats will try their very best to win you back by…calling you a bunch of fucking goddamned idiots and hoping that will change your mind. Ultimately, it will.
Hello 1999! Don’t worry about President Clinton’s legacy. He’s doing more to try to hide it, than anyone.
Hello 1998! Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California.
Hello 1997! Little kids are going to start performing oral sex on each other because the President said it wasn’t really sex. He’s going to stay just as popular as he is now, if not moreso.
Hello 1996! We’re debating about whether Saddam Hussein was ever a dangerous fucknozzle; the people who insist he was a harmless misunderstood old teddy-bear, are winning.
Hello 1995! We got a “Pelosi Revolution” that’s just like your “Gingrich Revolution.” It involved between a quarter and a third as many House seats changing hands, as what you just went through…but our media tells us it means far, far more. And you wouldn’t believe how differently they’re treating it. It’s working, too.
Hello 1994! Your “co-President” is going to get her husband’s ass handed to him in the upcoming mid-terms with her socialized-medicine scheme. It’s going to make history — and yet, twelve years later, she’s going to start pushing the same product all over again, running for President “in her own right.”
Hello 1993! I’m from the future. Your brand-new President is going to lie to you. About a marital affair. On television. Waggling his finger at the cameras…and I mean that literally. And then he’s going to get caught by his own spunk, spurted all over a blue dress. DNA tests and everything. He won’t be run out of town on a rail, in fact, there will be a cult following devoted to him and how he “got away with it.”
Hello 1992! James Bond is gone for awhile, but eventually he’s going to come back. But while you’re settling into this era of political-correctness and female-friendliness, I can’t begin to describe what you’re about to do to the White House.
Hello 1991! Saddam Hussein’s going to be left in charge. This will be proven to be the wrong decision. The United Nations will make every single mistake about him they possibly can, including — get this — taking billions of dollars in bribes from Saddam himself, to veto enforcement of Resolutions 678 and 687. And yet, I daresay, there is no one in my time who is opposed to the U.N., who isn’t also opposed to it in yours. Not a soul, so far as I know.
Hello 1990! In about five years, it will become highly fashionable for mens’ pants to slip WAY down so their butt cracks stick out. You won’t be able to get away from it, and it will remain highly fashionable for about a dozen years.

These things make some measure of sense to us because we’ve been acclimated to them slowly. They would make sense in no other time.

On What We Call “Science” II

Friday, January 19th, 2007

There is a problem with “Science”. It has to do with two definitions for the word, one of which is more reasonable but falling out of favor, the other of which is counterproductive but rapidly achieving complete dominance.

I wonder which word this blog is trying to use?

Meteorologists are among the few people trained in the sciences who are permitted regular access to our living rooms. And in that sense, they owe it to their audience to distinguish between solid, peer-reviewed science and junk political controversy. If a meteorologist can’t speak to the fundamental science of climate change, then maybe the AMS shouldn’t give them a Seal of Approval.

Thus speaketh Dr. Heidi Cullen, climate change expert. Thank you for proving my point, Dr. Cullen. Science is not about what is known, what is unknown, what is theorized, etc…it’s about opinions, and institutions awarding seals-of-approval for having the correct ones.

This becomes abundantly clear when one reviews what set her off:

Capitalweather.com, a website for hard-core weather junkies in the DC area, recently published an interview with a local meteorologist that highlights the unfortunate divide that exists right now between the climate and weather communities. Yup, that divide is global warming. When asked about the science of global warming, the meteorologist responded:

“The subject of global warming definitely makes headlines in the media and is a topic of much debate. I try to read up on the subject to have a better understanding, but it is complex. Often, it is so politicized and those on both sides don’t always appear to have their facts straight. History has taught us that weather patterns are cyclical and although we have noticed a warming pattern in recent time, I don’t know what generalizations can be made from this with the lack of long-term scientific data. That’s all I will say about this.”

Yeesh. “I don’t know what generalizations can be made from this…” and away she goes. For withholding your seal of certainty, you should be defrocked of the seal of approval. Only those who are certain, and say so, can be approved. You want to stay approved — be certain. That’s the job.

Science? Is it? Is it really?

Update 1-20-07:
Dr. Cullen responds to her critics:

I am a scientist. And I’m a skeptic.

AND after more than a century of research — based on healthy skepticism — scientists have learned something very important about our planet. It’s warming up — glaciers are melting, sea level is rising and the weather is changing. The primary explanation for this warming is the carbon dioxide released from — among other things — the burning of fossil fuels.

With that knowledge comes responsibility.

Here at The Weather Channel, we have accepted that responsibility, and see it as our job to give YOU the facts on global warming.

Our position on global warming is supported by the scientific community … including the American Meteorological Society. Their official statement says:

“There is convincing evidence that since the industrial revolution, human activities, resulting in increasing concentrations of greenhouse gases and other trace constituents in the atmosphere, have become a major agent of climate change.”

I’ve read all your comments saying I want to silence meteorologists who are skeptical of the science of global warming. That is not true. The point of my post was never to stifle discussion. It was to raise it to a level that doesn’t confuse science and politics. Freedom of scientific expression is essential. [emphasis mine]

Excuse me — this poor s.o.b. says, and I quote…”I don’t know what generalizations can be made from this with the lack of long-term scientific data. That’s all I will say about this.” And Dr. Cullen goes off on him. She wants the AMS credentials withheld. The guy doesn’t have the right position on this to be blessed by the AMS.

Now she says the point was never to stifle discussion.

Am I characterizing her screed unfairly? She doesn’t want to “confuse science and politics.” The object of her criticism lacks confidence in something, and simply comments that he doesn’t have the confidence in it to comment beyond a certain point. It seems well-established that Dr. Cullen has castigated the poor fellow not for what he did say, but for what he did not say. There is not, so far as I can tell, a substantial disagreement about what evidence has been presented; the issue is what to make of the evidence. Heidi Cullen’s entire argument is based on the premise that some kind of line has been crossed — all who express doubt, are political propagandists and should be labeled as such. “True” scientists have their minds made up.

That’s the exact opposite of what “science” used to be.

It’s sad, really. She’s trying to invalidate the perception of critics like me, and just about every sentence she puts down provides greater support for what we’ve said. Through authorities like Dr. Cullen, science is getting into the opinion business.

Throughout most of recorded human history, we’ve had something called “science.” It’s steered us in a beneficial direction, and it’s plunged us deeply into thickets and bunny-trails that have been proven wrong hundreds of years later. The pattern that emerges, is that it’s had an illuminating effect on things when it sticks to the facts, and it’s sent us off in the wrong direction when it’s done what Dr. Cullen wants it to do.

The lesson seems to be that if you want to know how things work, you’re only going to make sound progress in figuring this out if you keep in mind what is certain and what is not. In other words, know what it is you don’t know. Based on everything she’s written about this, Heidi Cullen hasn’t impressed me as doing as good a job at this, as those placed under her criticism.

The Vast Power of Certification

Monday, January 15th, 2007

Well, I have personal reasons for stopping to read news like this. We live in an accredited world. You have to have a diploma to get work…at pretty much anything. When your father’s father became a man, people told him the same thing, and they were right to. Get that diploma, son. And so back then, success depended upon sheepskin…nowadays, it likewise does…it just seems logical to assume, every single day in between it was the same way, right?

Well, of course there is that problem with the early eighties, when we got an entire industry going by a bunch of college drop-outs. And the industry actually gave us stuff. That worked. That we use. That defined what a career really was, for millions of people, including me.

Some say I have formed a personal bias from a skewed perspective. They’re right. I’ve learned some things that I just can’t ignore. Back in the olden days, I was a high school graduate…and a “champion.” Not, as in, best of the best of the best — not that by any means. I’m referring to the old-school definition of champion. The Middle English version. You want your side to prevail, you pick a knight, and you declare victory or suffer defeat, based on the victory or defeat of that knight. I was that knight. Employers would dip into their savings accounts to give me paychecks, and to earn those paychecks I would sit down in front of a computer network and make it do what it was supposed to do. I was the “best bet,” college degree or no. And I set out to make sure it was a winning bet.

And so while I do have my personal biases, my real concern is what I’m seeing happening to business. I come from a time when those who made the decision to hire, had a personal stake in seeing things come out right.

Look what we got going on nowadays…

Are highly educated teachers worth the extra pay?
Those with master’s paid more, but studies cast doubt on benefit
06:53 AM CST on Monday, January 15, 2007
By ANDREW D. SMITH / The Dallas Morning News

Dallas-area school districts spend nearly $20 million a year on extra pay for teachers with master’s degrees.

The payments make intuitive sense: Advanced training must help teachers teach better.

But scores of studies show no ties between graduate studies and teacher effectiveness. Even among researchers who see some value in some master’s programs, many urge dramatic reforms and an end to automatic stipends.

“If we pay for credentials, teachers have an incentive to seek and schools have an incentive to provide easy credentials,” said Arthur Levine, a researcher who once headed Columbia University’s Teachers College. “If, on the other hand, we only pay for performance, teachers have an incentive to seek and schools have an incentive to provide excellent training.”

Count James R. Sharp Jr. among the defenders of the programs. The first-grade teacher in the Garland school district says his recent graduate studies at Texas A&M-Commerce in Mesquite improved nearly every aspect of his performance.

“I learned to maintain discipline. I learned to manage time. I learned to communicate better,” he said. “It was a tremendous experience.”

Yet a large body of research casts doubt on the value of master’s programs, of any kind, in the classroom. A roundup published in 2003 by The Economic Journal, a publication of the international Royal Economic Society, unearthed 170 relevant studies. Of those, 15 concluded that master’s programs helped teachers, nine found they hurt them, and 146 found no effect.
:
“We teach practical matters: curriculum, law, reading, classroom management,” said Madeline Justice, [Texas A&M] interim department head for educational leadership. “Students tell us wonderful things about our program.”

Asked if she knew of any studies that showed systematic benefits of master’s degrees, Dr. Justice said her school was conducting a study of its master’s degree students but that data had yet to be tabulated.

William Sanders, who pioneered many analytical techniques while at the University of Tennessee, has found no clear benefit of master’s degrees from any education school.

“I did one study that compared graduates from 40 different schools of education, everything from tiny no-names to national powerhouses,” Dr. Sanders said. “Each school produced great teachers, mediocre teachers and lousy teachers in roughly the same degree.”

Look, I’m not going to sit here and type in something to the effect that a Master’s Degree doesn’t mean anything. It seems like a given that someone who has one, has achieved something that has not been achieved by someone who does not have one.

But at the same time, it’s pretty easy to see how the Dallas-area school districts got here. The requirement for a formal education, is a requirement that tends toward absolutism. In other words, you insist this position over here be filled by someone with a degree, you have to insist that position over there also be filled by someone with equal credentialing. And then you insist on the same thing for that other thing over there too. Before you know it, everyone has to have the same degree.

And position after position after position is filled this way, with no one ever called on the carpet to account for how this helps to accomplish the job at hand. Yeah, the certified people are going to be performing at-or-above the level of the non-certified people…more or less. But from working with highly educated people, I’ve noticed something over the years: A problem one of them can’t solve, tends to be a problem many of them can’t solve. Their backgrounds tend to overlap to the extent that it becomes an occasion when someone “brings something to the table” that hasn’t already been offered by someone else.

Kind of like giving your children a narrow gene selection by marrying your sister.

But of course when the higher-education folk can do everything asked of them in their positions, that is fulfilled by someone without the same credentials, is that so wrong? I suppose maybe not. The article makes mention of some $20 million allocated for teachers with Master’s Degrees. I guess whoever’s paying that $20 million would be in the best position to answer that question.

But I think that explains my concerns. There is cost; there is lack of diversity. Real diversity, as in, diversity of backgrounds and diverse personal capacities to competently confront challenges that come with the position. Thing I Know #40 is “We are a tribal species, although we’re loathe to admit it, and when people extoll the virtues of “diversity” they tend to talk about skin color and nothing else.” Obviously, I’m talking about something else, and this goes unsatisfied when a department is packed full of people with degrees, when their positions don’t actually demand them.

And finally, there is the marriage between those who make the decision to hire, and those with a stake in having the requirements of the position filled well. Performance goals being met or exceeded. The unthinking insistence on degrees that may or may not be related to the demands of the position, tends to drive a wedge between those two parties.

For example, in hiring a zookeeper, most people would be unable to articulate just how a candidate’s application could be bolstered by a degree in…let us say…astronomy. But, hey. It’s kind of technical to deliberate that issue, isn’t it? We can’t burden our human resources guy with the chore of figuring out if astronomy has something to do with hosing shit off the floor of a bear cage. Maybe there’s some overlap. Maybe there isn’t — but we know it takes something to get an astronomy degree.

So once the job offer goes out to the guy with the astronomy degree, can the human resources guy who made the decision, really bet that he’ll make a good zookeeper? That’s the question. And the answer is…well, nobody knows. You see, the human resources guy isn’t betting that. What he’s betting, is that if the candidate turns out to be a lousy zookeeper, he will not be blamed. It won’t be his fault. See, he hired someone with a degree.

That’s a ludicrous example, since of course zookeeping is a far cry from astronomy. But it’s not that distant from…botany. Or climatology. Shift the degree to those, and it becomes more realistic. And the ramifications remain the same. The human resources guy, is effectively outsourcing the vital decision-making that he’s earning good money to do. He’s leaving it up to an outside source, in the form of the degree-criterion. It’s human nature to do this. You have to make decisions day-to-day, you find ways to take the decision-making out of it.

That isn’t to say I think higher education is meaningless. But I think it’s fair to say that sometimes, we get a little too caught up in confusing “certification” with “having accomplished something related to the job at hand.” So I’m not surprised that some studies have gone out looking for payoff from hiring teachers with Master’s degrees, and have come up a bit empty.

After all, you probably don’t have too many people ready, willing or able to say, “THIS is how a teacher with a Master’s degree is going to do a better job than a teacher who doesn’t have one.” Yeah, you’ve got James R. Sharp. And I’ll wager everyone in his position, is going to say the same thing. He’s simply saying he had an experience that makes him better at his job. Hell, I’ve had lots of experiences that made me better at every job I’ve ever held. That’s what experiences do…formal ed, or other.

That doesn’t mean a prospective employer is going to come out ahead, by insisting every candidate have the same experiences. If they were to do such a thing, an honest study would come to the conclusion that employer had effectively been wasting money. And it looks like that’s what has happened here.

But there’s more…

“America has 3.2 million teachers who together make up the nation’s most powerful political lobby, and more than half of them hold master’s degrees. They’ll fight for that money,” said Kate Walsh, president of the National Council on Teacher Quality, a Washington-based nonprofit that funds and reviews education research. [emphasis mine]

Ah…there ya go. Read back up at TIK #40. We are a — what? Tribal species, although we are loathe to admit it. It’s demonstrated that a big chunk of this “money for people with degrees” thing, is nothing more than “I want everyone to be exactly like me, and if they aren’t I just want them to go away.”

Again, it’s just how we work. Human nature.