Archive for the ‘Innernets’ Category

We Agree With Feministing

Monday, January 7th, 2008

…one of the angriest, bitchiest flogs around, if indeed it isn’t on the very top of the stack. But now we see the uppity, screeching flog makes some good sense. Stopped clocks, twice daily, and all that.

The ultimate in victim-blaming?

Apparently President Pervez Musharraf thinks that the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto’ was her own fault. Seriously.

“For standing up outside the car, I think it was she to blame alone — nobody else. Responsibility is hers,” the former general told CBS’ “60 Minutes.”

Or, you know, the person who killed her. But I guess I’m just traditional like that.

President Musharraf has been described to me as a lesser-of-evils from the point of view of the USA — walking a fine line, presiding over a truly messed-up nation, trying not to lean too far in support of or in opposition to the terrorists.

These aren’t the words of someone walking a fine line. They don’t look like it. Not to me, and not at all. They impress me as the words of a real asshat.

I know in this post-atomic age there’s a lot of foreign-diplomacy stuff handled through meaningless gestures…condemning this, deploring that…the strongly worded letter and what-not. Secretary Rice, is this a good time to toss out another one? If not, why not?

Winter Solstice

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007

Credit for finding this goes to Texas Scribbler.

Dick, that is some major coolness there.

Yup, I was out on my eastward-facing balcony, 7:28 this morning, using my thumb to measure the angular distance between the rising sun and the nearest landmark. Hot steaming coffee in hand, of course. Wasn’t everybody? Kind of wishing I put some more things on my Christmas list…sextant…telescope…maybe another GPS receiver…oh well. You snooze you lose.

Tagged

Saturday, December 22nd, 2007

St. Wendeler at silver-icon blogroll resource Another Rovian Conspiracy has reached out and tagged me. Never defy the words of a Saint. So here are my responses.

1. Wrapping or gift bags?
Prefer wrapping, since a manly man knows how to do stuff normally left to the women, like folding laundry and sewing. Wrapping presents is no exception. But once the gift is ready to slide under the tree…yeah, you can tell a man wrapped it. You can tell that pretty easily.

2. Real or artificial tree?
Real. A manly man always goes out and saws down the tree with his own two hands. Which takes less than thirty seconds, but it’s still manual labor and makes a 364-day computer jockey feel like a big tough man. Hmmm, I’m starting to detect a pattern here.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Within a week after Thanksgiving. Usually on Black Friday, occasionally the following weekend.

4. When do you take the tree down?
About the time we start shopping for Easter supplies. No, just kidding. January 4 or 5 at the very latest. If the tree isn’t drinking water like I want it to, it goes out no later than 12/26.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Love it, but prefer it virgin because otherwise I end up sucking down more brandy or rum than I think I’m sucking down, and I’m more of a beer-and-wine guy. My G-rated eggnogs are always half skim milk.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
I’m going to have to go with that scale plastic model of the original Enterprise NCC-1701. The original show was still on the air in its third season when I got it. In ’71 or ’72, my brother smashed it with a suitcase.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
My girlfriend has one, but I think it’s staying in the box because there isn’t room on the platform over the fireplace.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Now, that’s not a nice question is it. Well, Grandma’s dead, so it’s probably okay to say the ten plastic coathangers. It was the one gift we were allowed to open before church services on Christmas Eve. I honestly don’t know what in the world she was thinking.

9. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?
I hate to see traditions die, but I’m going to have to go with e-mail. Otherwise, it’s so awkward, here it is 12/21 or 12/22 and a card rolls in from someone who wasn’t on your list…no good way to handle that.

10. Favorite Christmas movie?
Scrooge (1970) with Albert Finney. It’s a family tradition. And it’s actually a british production. All the others are substandard. Which is a real shame, because aside from my family it seems very few people have actually seen this. It’s a musical, but kids are more likely to sit all the way through it than they are likely to watch a non-musical version. Even today.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I have not done any substantial Christmas shopping before Dec. 22, since about 1980. I expect that should narrow it down as much as anybody wants.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My Mom took them all to the grave with her. Norwegian cookies with sliced cherries and a granola/almond paste dough, something called “Oslo Cremla” which even Google doesn’t seem to understand, Yule Log confection, Fattigman, Lefse with the sugar-cinnamon-butter spread. None of this stuff even got put together before 12/23.

As you might have gathered, up until the last couple days or so Christmas was pretty much just going through the advent calendar, whatever had something to do with the tree, and spraying holiday-scented room freshener. The really cool stuff was on the home stretch.

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Red and green, of course.

14. Favorite Christmas song?
Messiah. I suppose I should narrow that down. “For Unto Us a Child is Born.”

Paying it forward, I tag:

Pamela at Patriotic Mom
Six Meat Buffet
Yolo Cowboy at Roughstock Journal
Hatless in Hattiesburg
Daniel J. Summers
Alan at Seablogger
Lynn at Violins and Starships

Rules are…:

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share Christmas facts about yourself.
3. Tag random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Best wishes for a joyous holiday season, good health to you & all close to you, and long life to everybody who loves it and respects it in others.

What Have I Done

Friday, December 7th, 2007

A fun list we find courtesy of blogger friend Buck. You copy it in and bold everything you’ve done.

It has poor overlap with my own experiences. Must not be my time yet. Pay it forward…

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm.
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad – and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Myth of the Fact Checker

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

The whole “TNR” blow-up has inspired Roger L. Simon to share his thoughts about this thing called “fact-checking”, what it really is, how it works, how it might…possibly…fall short.

Institutions like the New York Times have an evident vested interest and their editor Bill Keller laid out their case the other day at a lecture in the UK:

First: We believe in a journalism of verification rather than assertion, meaning we put a higher premium on accuracy than on speed or sensation. When we report information, we look hard to see if it stands up to scrutiny. Now, of course, newspapers are written and edited by humans. We get things wrong. The history of our craft is tarnished down the centuries by episodes of partisanship, gullibility, and blind ignorance on the part of major news organisations. (My own paper pretty much decided to overlook the Holocaust as it was happening.) And so there is a corollary to this first principle: when we get it wrong, we correct ourselves as quickly and forthrightly as possible.

At the Times, we are obsessive about owning up to our mistakes, from the petty to the egregious.

My personal experience of mainstream media fact-checking, New York Times included, has not tracked with Keller’s hyperbolic declaration….In short, mainstream media doesn’t do much. Essays I did for The New York Times Book Review were not fact-checked at all (though they did copy edit, luckily for me). Over at the Los Angeles Times, an amusing example is an article I did on a Siberian film festival at which I was a juror. After I submitted it, the LAT fact-checker called and asked, “Did this all happen?” “Yes,” I said. “Thank you,” she said and hung up. So much for mainstream media fact-checking.

Now, that’s the LA Times, not the NY Times which I’m sure must be much better. They must be. I mean, I think back on all those left-wingers who argued with me and in doing-so, “sole-sourced,” the NY Times, and mocking me for my failure to immediately and unconditionally accept as my own religious belief, something sole-sourced to the NY Times. Surely such a venerable institution must be doing something to earn all that fawning adulation.

It occurs to me that this barb-fest between the mainstream media and these things we call “blogs,” is an ancient exchange. It’s really all about, should truth be institutionalized? Or is it the property of every common man?

One point in favor of the blogs is one of necessity. If truth is not under the ownership of every common man, it is not the responsibility of every common man. We can then shuffle off the “fact checking” to our clay-footed institutions, confident that some nameless faceless fact-checker will verify the things we will be told to think we know.

And then we can read all the “Memo For File” copies we want to and believe every word without reservation. The ones from 1974. In Times New Roman font, with kerning.

Morgan’s Diary

Monday, December 3rd, 2007

…as ghostwritten by a certain fawning Associated Press toady.

Great AmericanHaving triumphed over the herculean task of cleaning out the coffee pot and getting it started on a fresh batch, Morgan K. Freeberg used his powerful legs to carry his naked, Adonis-like form, his massive muscular shoulders barely fitting through the doorways. As the coffee pot gurgled away, he logged back in to his Windows XP account. Outside the window in the hours before dawn, just a few house lights could be seen; the entire world slept soundly, including his paramour who slumbered away in blissful exhaustion from the carnal activities the night before, but Freeberg was already hard at work. As the Firefox windows refreshed, bringing him news of various crises brewing all over the world, Freeberg ran his rugged palm over his majestic, cash-register-like stubble-covered chin, a picture of calm in the face of crisis. It was a vintage example of a dedicated blogger getting ready to lay the smackdown on a bunch of grandstanding liberal politicians, glory-queens, attention whores, phony guilty-white-males, and preening Associated Press lackeys.

A quick shower and a commute to work beckoned, but before Freeberg could join the morning rush on Highway 50 like thousands of other clock-punching automatons, he knew it was his destiny to make this one contribution as an erudite, intellectual, and powerful communicator of current events: The noble blogger. He used his position as a national teaching opportunity, a skill often employed by such dedicated practitioners, although of course Freeberg was the best of the best of the best. Lording his majestic form over all creation, godlike, and rightfully, Freeberg scanned the headlines — the very picture of attentiveness, leadership, resourcefulness, and quiet competence — a shining beacon of sanity in a world gone mad. One particular headline caught his eye; he cocked an eyebrow toward it, majestically, pulled out the keyboard and began to use his awesome blogger powers to put wrong things right, biceps and triceps writhing away beneath his bronze skin, like massive pythons, his lean, powerful fingers fluttering away like ten jackhammers on speed…

Yeah, okay. Pushing myself to the limit on this stuff, laying it on this thick, I think I’m much better suited for a sprint than a marathon. Glen Johnson clearly raises the bar to new highs. He is, in what I presume is an attempt to be completely serious, far more ludicrous than Rush Limbaugh is when he’s joking.

I understand where the guy’s coming from — he wants to be a speech-writer in a Clinton administration. The real question is for everybody else. Why do we let things get this far?

H/T: Many, potentially at least, but I learned it for the first time from Rick. And barfed on the spot, just about.

Update: You know, a thought occurs to me about womens’ equality. It should already be raising red flags with everybody — and I think, in secret and in the thoughts to which one never dares give utterance, it does indeed — there’s just something terribly wrong with championing “equal rights” for any demography, and having to crank away at it for forty years plus in the phony spirit of CALWWNTY (Come A Long Way, We’re Not There Yet).

I know it’s politically incorrect to say such a thing, but forty years is too long. There must be a lack of energy being channeled into the movement, in spite of all the bluster and complaining we’ve been hearing; or the tactics are wrong, somehow incompatible with fundamentals of human nature; or, there must be a paralyzing disagreement on what exactly it is we’re trying to do.

We may very well have a female President in 2009. Nobody is even bothering to pretend that if we do, the feminist caterwauling will shut down for good. Or even drop a bit, for that matter. We just got hold of our first female House Speaker earlier this year, and this event hasn’t silenced anyone. Every single soul who was bitching about equal rights before that, is bitching now about the same things.

I think this is the new glass ceiling. Right now. I think we’re looking straight at it. Women are not being treated equally, and because of that they will never have equal rights. Certainly not according to this bizarre post-modern measuring device we’ve gotten going…where a bunch of lazy scientists and energized busybodies put together some statistics, and look for differential bumps, some well within the margin of error, that might possibly feed the next Big News Story.

I think the next two things we have to do are very clear. They both have to do with fewer praises lauded upon females, so I doubt they’ll be implemented. Until they are, you can forget all about equality and I think that will remain true even if we pursue it for the next thousand years.

First of all, we have to stop lavishing praise on “First” women who do things a zillion and one men have already done. By that I mean being President of the United States, or being the person walking on the moon getting a phone call from that President. When a man’s already done it, and you shower these phony congratulations on the first woman who does the same thing — that’s degrading to women. It doesn’t seem to make any sense, until you think on it awhile. And then it has to make sense. If you can think clearly about things, that is. It’s measurably degrading — it degrades in direct proportion to the amount of time that has passed since the first man did it. In President Hillary Clinton’s case, that would be 218 years. Quite the slur.

Secondly…the whole “not freaking out” thing. Men don’t get credit for that. Women shouldn’t either. Again — put some quality thought into it, you’ll see this is as degrading to women as any butt-slap Captain Kirk ever dealt out to any space-babe in a miniskirt who brought him 23rd-century coffee. Stop giving women, especially women in positions of authority, credit for being “calm.” I mean, what were you expecting? After sixteen years in the public eye on the national stage, to restrain one’s self from running room to room, arms overhead, shrieking like a banshee when there’s a hostage situation in your office hundreds of miles away — doesn’t seem like much to ask. It’s good that Hillary stepped up to the challenge. But her alleged vagina is only so much of an argument for inflating such an achievement under the masthead of the Associated Press.

I’ll bet my last ten dollars that Glen Johnson is as big a male chauvinist pig as anyone you’ve ever met, including me.

Update: Gerard coins a newly-minted portmanteau, yabbling, and affixes it to our bit of creative writing up-top.

On “YouTube Debate” Questions

Friday, November 30th, 2007

Okay, so I see that CNN has released a statement about the now-scandalized “YouTube Debate” that basically says CNN doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. “The whole point of these ground-breaking CNN/YouTube debates is to focus on substantive questions of concern to real people and to throw open the process to a wider range of Americans all around the country. CNN cared about what you asked, not who you were. This was the case for both the Democratic and the Republican CNN/YouTube debates.” This is in response to revelations that democratic “plants” fairly well saturated CNN’s selection out of the YouTube questioners, who were supposed to be representative of the much-sought-after undecided Republican voter.

My local morning radio guys, yesterday, drew an interesting analogy which I think highlights the problem quite usefully. I think this because I see the problem as being not necessarily one of bad questions; I see the problem, rather, as one of asking questions that might appear useful, but only to someone who’s made up his mind that Republicans are terrible people, and looking for reasons to think so. The analogy drawn by the radio guys involved interviewing a famous athlete and having a non-sports-fan (like yours truly) come up with the questions to ask. No one would try such an absurd thing because nobody would want to watch it, and, well, that seems to be exactly what occurred here.

Of course it is hard to get much momentum behind criticism of debate questions for being too hostile, in an age where everyone seems ready to blame our various problems on too low of a bar imposed on presidential candidates. Right now, if you come up with new and improved ways to ask embarrassing questions — the zeitgeist will be kind to you (unless, of course, you’re asking the embarrassing questions to a female candidate). But there could be a downside to embarrassing candidates just for the sake of embarrassing candidates. One thing I can think of is that in an environment where embarrassment is easy, the specimen that is left standing is the loathsome, slick, oily kind. So regardless of party leanings, I would hope we can all agree the “embarrassment for embarrassment’s sake” just might not be the magic bullet that instantly solves our national woes.

But in addition to that, there is a difference between embarrassment and inspection. David Kerr’s question (embedded) fails to inspect — or, at least, it fails to make inspection a priority over embarrassment. His primary purpose is to preach at anybody listening “you shouldn’t vote for these guys.” It makes wonderful sense if you’ve already decided not to. You could enlighten and scrutinize, every bit as productively, by asking “If you are sworn in as President, what if anything do you plan to do about the standing policy with regard to homosexuals serving in the military?” And of course, that isn’t what he asked.

This language about the situation being “the case for both the Democratic and the Republican CNN/YouTube debates” is particularly tragic, in my view. It seems to me fair to say David Kerr, LeeAnn Anderson, David Cercone and “Journey/Paperseranade” are just about as ready to vote for a Republican as I’m ready to vote for a democrat…we all have our little biases. And yet, if those questions were chosen and the objective really is to uphold symmetry between the two parties in the YouTube debate forum, I would respectfully offer these beauties for the next democrat event.

1. The Republican party was formed just before the Civil War for the express purpose of ending slavery in this country; being a dedicated democrat, do you think this was a bad thing?

2. If America is ever put under a national healthcare system and I use my personal finances to acquire specialized services not available to everybody else, how do you think I should be punished and what should happen to my doctor?

3. How much money, if any at all, do democrats think I should be allowed to keep every year?

4. Do you think there is some solid evidence worth checking out that 9/11 was an inside job?

5. If George Bush is such a freakin’ idiot, how come he continues to get his way whenever he faces off against your representatives in Congress and his dismal approval ratings run twice as high as theirs?

6. If the global warming movement fails to destroy the American economy, what do you want to try next?

7. Speaking of global warming, what do you drive?

8. How many Americans should die so that we can say America doesn’t use torture, including the infamous “waterboarding”?

9. How many little kids should be kidnapped, slaughtered and left in a field somewhere, so we can say America doesn’t allow a death penalty?

10. As blogger friend Phil points out, you need a license in the United Kingdom just to watch TV. When, in your view, should we get such a policy going here in the United States, and how big of a commission should we set aside for the busybody cops who ring the doorbells and pass out the fines?

11. When did you decide that terrorists are more deserving of these things you call “civil liberties” than, say…Republicans?

12. In what year, exactly, did the Second Amendment lose all of it’s potency and value for keeping a potentially oppressive government in check, assuming you think it ever had any in the first place?

You know, I could keep on adding to such a list all day long but I think the point is made. Questions put to candidates can be revealing, and they can be hostile; there is overlap between those two, but they’re not synonymous.

And, since we’re still in “primary” mode and Republicans are supposed to be sniffing out Republicans and donks are supposed to be sniffing out donks, the question that’s designed to open one side to inspection and appeal sympathetically to the other, it seems to me, could be postponed for awhile. But if we live in an information age and we want the political parties to reach across the aisle right-freakin’-now, it doesn’t seem to be too much to ask that the burdens imposed on them in this regard be somewhat equal. In which case, the twelve questions above or some facsimile thereof, could be seriously considered for the next go-round…and speaking for myself, I’m definitely not holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

Best Sentence XX

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

The Twentieth Best Sentence I’ve Heard Or Read Lately (BSIHORL) award goes to Bullwinkle, commenting on something I care nothing about and neither does he…

Striking Writers Guild member Steve Young:

“There’s a belief in Hollywood that at 28 the brain starts to die and you’re no longer funny or hip. If you’re waiting for the phone to ring when the strike is over, it may not. A writer is like an NFL running back, it’s a short career,” Young added.

That’s why I couldn’t be forced to make myself care at gunpoint. By the time 28 episodes of what the vast majority of these writers turn out I’ve managed to miss 28 episodes. I have the feeling that anyone who watches 28 episodes of nearly anything was braindead long ago.

Here’s a novel idea for the striking writers –

You want more money? Write something worth watching. Your last strike was a miserable failure and this one probably will be too. Striking is basically holding your product for ransom and it only works if someone misses what you produce. Kidnappers rarely send their demands to the victim’s inlaws. [emphasis mine]

That is such a strikingly perfect description of my own sentiments about television in general: Like those of a father whose daughter married the wrong fella. Son-in-law is someone who is just kind of…there. I tolerate him. And if the women of the house are around, there’s going to be a social order that demands, among other things, that I put on this charade of liking him. But maybe I don’t. And if he gets kidnapped and a ransom note shows up? Heh.

It’s been a week or two since I’ve seen any situation described so aptly. Writer’s strike…pfeh. These are the same folks responsible for that jackrabbit-pace dialog in CSI, Law & Order, Gilmore Girls and West Wing?

I just rented my pilot episode disc from Netflix for Heroes; it is my latest half-hearted “attempt” to stay up-to-speed with what all “the guys” are talkin’ about, a social endeavor that has received nothing beyond the most casual attention from me since the fifth grade. And I’m not even putting out an attempt here, really. All that office banter finally got my curiosity going. The guys were asking my take, and I had to report that while the acting and directing were superb, the writing left a great deal to be desired.

But this says something about the writing profession in general. I didn’t expect too much in the first place…I did, however, expect my imagination to be captured. The bad writing just got in the way.

Maybe I’ll give it another shot down the road. For now…the subject turned to some exciting stuff happening in the “now,” and then one of the participants politely interrupted it for my benefit because “spoilers” were about to be discussed. I waived my privileges to this injunction and let them proceed. I could tell if I ever started caring about this show, it would be quite aways down the road.

I really hate bad dialog. A lot. I understand people in real life talk to each other in ways you aren’t going to see it done on the boob tube. They interrupt, cut each other off, pursue parallel monologues, misunderstand each other…throwing that into a TV show or a movie, would add nothing.

But I would simply suggest, if you’ve got a couple of characters, and the purpose of a scene is to reveal two things about one of them…or three things…or four things…go ahead and make the scene longer than thirty seconds. Because otherwise, bad dialog becomes something unavoidable.

“You’ve got to come to terms with the fact that Dad died, and stop beating yourself up with it!” “I can’t help it, because I have nightmares every night for the last seven years, ever since my wife left me!” “I know, man, it’s like your Dad’s ghost is haunting you and you can’t find peace, but you got to try!” “Well I know one thing, I’ll never rest until I fulfill his dream of finding a cure for the disease that killed my sister when I was nine and she was six…even though I hate him so much, even in death!” “You see her in your daughter’s eyes, don’t you?” “Only when that bitch lets me. Supervised visitation and all. Well, gotta go, my AA meeting is in ten minutes. I’m 180 days clean tonight.” Ugh.

You know that scene where Michael Corleone tries to buy out Moe Greene? I clocked it once — it’s over five minutes long. In screenwriter land, that’s like an eon. That’s like Charlemagne, to yesterday. Was it boring? Anybody feel like skipping out in the middle of it for a potty break? Maybe that was the perfect time to fish another cold one out of the fridge? Didn’t think so. Did it sound like real people talking to each other? You’d better believe it. How many things did you learn during those five minutes about Moe, about Fredo, about Michael, about Vito…about the relationship between the Corleone family and the rival families in New York, and elsewhere?

Well, that isn’t fair I guess. Five minutes is quite impractical, and for reasons stated above you can’t always have everything resemble real life. So how about…the two scenes where Belloq starts psychoanalyzing people? Not realistic dialog by a damn sight, but certainly excellent dialog nonetheless. Motivations are established. Feelings are manifested. Characters are built. The story…proceeds.

See, it can be done.

Gosh, that’s a rambling for something I’m not supposed to care about; actually, that’s not what it is at all. I do care. I’m writing about the fella she should’ve married.

Why Good News Shouldn’t Get Reported

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

Truly, truly, this is a frog in a pot of boiling water moment. Journey through a time machine to any year you care to choose…from the advent of “modern” journalism, in whatever way you wish to define it…to whatever you think ushered in this crazy, surreal, other-worldly “new new news” era in which we live. I dunno. Maybe figuring out that latter moment, would be worth a post of it’s own. March 17, 2003, maybe? But I digress.

In that era of “semi-modern” journalism, there’s probably a good fifty years of days to which you could hop, and tell the people living in any one of those days, that…well, read for yourself.

As CNN’s Howard Kurtz accurately pointed out on Sunday’s “Reliable Sources,” few media outlets seemed at all interested in giving much attention to the great news out of Iraq last week regarding September’s sharp decline in casualties.

To Kurtz’s obvious frustration, his guests – Robin Wright of the Washington Post and Barbara Starr of CNN – both supported the press burying this extremely positive announcement.

No, it gets better still. Good news shouldn’t be reported, but bad news should. Yeah. They’re admitting to the bias, right up to, but not including, the point where you use the b-word. I guess. I mean, read for yourself.

Even Kurtz recognized the hypocrisy here, which led to the following:

KURTZ: But let’s say that the figures had shown that casualties were going up for U.S. soldiers and going up for Iraqi civilians. I think that would have made some front pages.

STARR: Oh, I think inevitably it would have. I mean, that’s certainly — that, by any definition, is news. Look, nobody more than a Pentagon correspondent would like to stop reporting the number of deaths, interviewing grieving families, talking to soldiers who have lost their arms and their legs in the war. But, is this really enduring progress?

We’ve had five years of the Pentagon telling us there is progress, there is progress. Forgive me for being skeptical, I need to see a little bit more than one month before I get too excited about all of this.

Hmmm. So, a shocking increase in deaths would have “certainly” been newsworthy. However, for a decrease to be reported, skeptical journalists have to be more convinced that it’s a lasting improvement.

So the “we’re not biased” has been whittled down to a meaningless catchphrase, nothing more.

Journey to any date between 1945 and 2003 and let ’em know about this, and people will think you’re a partisan shill. Or a satirist. Or a freakin’ lunatic. In 2007, it is what is really going on.

Feminism Is Dead

Tuesday, October 9th, 2007

My ten-year-old son was asking “How come my mom talks about feminism as if it’s something that is still going on, and you talk about it in the past tense?” I explained that feminism was supposed to be a set of rules. It started out with one rule, that women were to have all the rights and privileges men had, including equal pay for equal work, and then this gradually morphed into a whole bunch of things. It got to the point where if you so much as acknowledged there might be inherent differences between the sexes, a feminist would be comin’ to getcha, like a real flesh-and-blood political boogeyman. This was actually years before Larry Summers had his little problem. So basically, people didn’t leave feminism, feminism left them. But the real kicker, I explained, was when Bill Clinton got in trouble for mistreating some women. One of the women he mistreated wanted her day in court, and he used his position of authority to make sure she didn’t get it. This is exactly what feminists tell us we’re not supposed to tolerate…and they themselves tolerated it, because they figured so long as Bill Clinton remained a powerful President who could abuse and intimidate people, their political movement was better off.

But they were wrong about this, because when people saw the feminists were nothing more than a cynical political feeding frenzy of mob-rule sharks, they abandoned feminism in droves. And now it’s “dead,” in the sense it’s quite safe to say we’ll never see it have the cultural effect it had in the 1970’s unless there is some major reform, with a daunting public-relations task to make it truly effective. This would be a true reincarnation. So “dead” is precisely what it is. And that’s a good thing because without this massive re-definition taking place, everything good about feminism, is in the past. On the current trajectory, Starship Feminism is cruising at maximum warp into the galaxy of totalitarianism. Controlling what people think, telling people what to do, ending the careers of big people whose latest innocuous gestures and remarks cause bile to bubble up in the throats of little people. The right little people. It’s a means by which wretched simpletons with nothing substantial to say, can climb on to soapboxes and start issuing proclamations greater than their own intellect. Equal treatment amongst the sexes, hasn’t got anything to do with what we call “feminism,” and hasn’t had anything to do with that for a very long time.

When he repeated such comments to his mother…she changed her mind, and now she refers to feminism in the past tense too.

Now if anyone would like to call this into question, or challenge any of it, then a great place to point them as the discussion kicks into high gear would be right…about…here. At Feministing. One of my favorite flogs.

…to say that the “second shift” is because of women’s genetic predisposition to housework is just absurd. And it lets men off the hook. Rena might be satisfied to spend her adult life as the happy homemaker, but the vast majority of us are not. See, those of us who manage to part with our Swiffers long enough to venture outside for a paycheck know that, as Rena notes, there are indeed minute-to-minute unpleasant tasks in the work world. But they add up to a lot more than a sparkling toilet. They allow women to have influence in the public sphere — the world beyond the “little kingdom,” where important decisions are made about the direction of society, and where money and power change hands.

No matter how many times women like Rena tell themselves they are “renegades” for liking housework, the fact remains that they’re taking the path of least resistance with domestic gender roles. That’s all well and good if it makes them happy, but Friedan called this a “mystique” for a reason. Most women aren’t as happy in this role as they tell themselves they are. As Moe puts it, “There’s nothing zen about chapped hands and Brillo pads.”

There ya go. A screed lobbed up into the air, like a cluster bomb or a pineapple grenade, in a vicious melee taking place on the innernets. The catalyst of this holy battle: Whether women should find housework satisfying or not. Gosh…uh, is it completely out of the question to, y’know, kinda let the girls figure it out for themselves? You don’t see us dudes issuing these high-minded proclamations to each other about whether we should all like sports or working on cars.

Well, I mean, other than fathers like me telling their sons what talents the sons should be nurturing so they’ll be ready for adulthood. And every now and then, some career advice to dweebs like me that if we don’t like sports, maybe for the sake of getting our next plumb assignment, we’d better learn how to pretend. Both those things seem to fall far short of what “Ann” is carping about here. Her message is crystal clear: I don’t like housework, and neither should you.

She goes so far as to say if anyone comes along to prove her wrong…if any woman ventures forward and professes to enjoy the housework that Ann says leaves the “vast majority” unsatisfied…that woman is too brainwashed to know what makes her happy. She can’t make up her own mind about this, she must be told. Ann, sweetie, there seems to be something more than a little chauvinist about that.

Ann’s not alone. Read the comments. Here and there, someone will frown on applying some sort of “you must despise housework” litmus test to feminists, but the consensus seems overwhelming that any insinuation women might be better at it than men, is to be deplored. So there ya have it: You must choose between the adoration of feminists, and reality. Anyone who hasn’t lived alone his whole life, will understand this. A lady reaches the end of her tether much quicker than her beau, when there are stacks of crap lying around that aren’t being used, and ought properly be stowed somewhere. She has a keener sense of smell. One might say she is to the dirty, streaky windows, which he could ignore for decades if left to his own devices…as he is to lights being left on. Hey, that’s just the way things are. But Ann, plus several dozens of people, say no. To avoid our condemnation, you must join us in repudiating reality

Nor can Ann be accused of perverting the feminist message. She can claim — correctly, and indeed, she has claimed exactly this — that feminism has sought since The Feminine Mystique in 1963 to culturally separate the fairer sex from things related to dishpan hands and waxy yellow buildup. The big question though is, how far back does this “thou shalt not think” stuff go? Does that go to 1963? More than one feminist has informed me that feminism is all about choice, which would logically mean in 1963, it would have been all about liberating women from the sparkling toilet. In other words, here’s another alternative; go after it if you want to, and if you don’t want to, no biggie.

I wasn’t around in 1963, so I don’t know if that was the message or not.

But I know what I’ve seen since then. I’ve met many a woman who’d just as soon stay anchored to that sparkling toilet, thankyewverymuch. I’ve met many a woman who doesn’t want a single thing to do with a paycheck…other than that spending-it thing you do once you get it. I’ve met many a woman who will go to absolutely absurd lengths to make sure she doesn’t have to step into an office, punch a time clock, answer to a boss, keep her lunch breaks down to a manageable duration, or fill out a time sheet.

No, I’m not going to say women, as a group, are unfit for the workplace. But a lot of individual women definitely are. And as individuals, they want to stay unfit for it. It’s a world they have no interest in joining. None at all.

And in forty-one years, I have yet to see anyone calling herself a “feminist” say “well, if you don’t want to do things my way, no biggie.” Not even close. It has come to be…and there is more than a marginal possibility that it started out to be…all about coercion, intimidation, and force. Choice? It might have had some relationship with it. Maybe the false promise of choice was brandished as a recruiting tool. Indeed, nearly all of the people I met who decided to support feminism, did so because of respect for choice. But today, feminism and individual choice seem to be opposites. When feminists do their arguing, they are almost always arguing over what everyone must do.

They want me to think it’s about freedom of individual choice. Reasons why I should think this, amount to…that’s what they want me to think. That’s all. No other reason.

Not In It For The Attention, Mind You… X

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007

On Saturday morning, I had defined what I see are the two most important issues of next year’s elections, all-but-guaranteed to stay in those top two slots between now and then.

The single most important issue of the presidential elections next year: Who is going to bring me the the biggest pile of dead terrorist carcasses over the next four years?
:
Coming in at a close second, and I do mean a close one, is a big package of interrelated sub-issues all knotted together. They have to do with the people who are actually proud to call themselves “liberals,” not in the classic sense, but in the post-modern sense…Are liberals crazy, or just stupid? Do we really have to let them vote even when they so obviously lack the level of maturity one would be expected to achieve by age eighteen?
:
What exactly is this well-funded advocacy group that I continue to call “Move On From Some Things And Dwell Endlessly On Other Things Dot Org”? For whom do they speak? Now that we all understand they’re a bunch of all-but-certified nutcases, when they tell us their nutcase things are they speaking on behalf of Hillary? Obama? Edwards? Kerry? Kennedy? Anybody else who will be invested with the authority to decide important, life-altering things, should we opt to put the kiddies from the kiddie-table in charge again next year? What about Michael Moore, does he speak for anybody? How cozy is his relationship with the “Inmates Should Run The Asylum” party?

In posing this as an open question to be decided, I speak recklessly, since I speak for others. I gather many who feel the obligation of exercising their civic duties, are all-but-decided that the Republicans have been in charge long enough. But they aren’t getting a warm-fuzzy out of the prospect of putting the donks in the White House. They know there are consequences. They know, for four years at least, we’ll be buried in phony solutions to non-problems, sky-high inflation, race-baiting, feminist-weeping, tyrant-coddling.

For myself, it’s not an open question. It’s an item of concern.

And I’ll tell you what really concerns me about this, what really makes it almost as important — but not quite — as the “who’s gonna deliver the biggest number of dead-terrorist-bodies” issue. It’s the donks themselves. They aren’t ready to accuse me of sliming and slandering them; not some among them, anyway. These donks don’t disagree with me about what they are, or might be. To plagiarize Sally Field for just a second: They’re nuts. They’re really, really nuts.

My first reminder of this was not long at all in coming. Fellow Webloggin contributor Teri O’Brien managed to capture an item from the 9/11 anniversary that had smoothly flown in under my radar, which falls squarely into this second-most-important issue and in fact helps to highlight how important it really is. Veteran actor James Brolin, famous for a long and stellar movie career and for marrying whats-her-name, made just about as big an ass out of himself as could be managed under a tight schedule. Appearing on WPLR radio to promote his new film, The Hunting Party, he managed to get himself a little sidetracked. The film, you’ll notice, has something to do with the CIA not being able to find bad guys. Brolin, perhaps wishing for a peaceful domestic existence, or whatever, went out of his way to find some parallels in real-life — and the radio guys had to remind him what today’s date was.

Brolin thought this was worthy of a sarcastic, genuflecting comment: “Happy 9/11.” Too bad there wasn’t someone around to remind him he was really on the radio, and his words weren’t being confined to a cozy cloister of his crazy left-wing anti-war buddies, an audience to which I’m gathering he’s somewhat better accustomed. You decide:

Now, as I said, half-cocked brain-dead comments like this one, may or may not be representative of the donk party that wishes to be placed in charge of more things next year, and that, to me, is the open question on the second-most-important issue. What is a democrat? Is it someone who’s going to do what the electorate has in mind when it votes for democrats…just shave off the most prominent and offensive protrusions of the Republican platform, maybe save America from becoming a theocracy one more time? Rescue some little old ladies from having to choose between medicine and dog food?

I’m not asking about what registered democrat voters intend to have done when they are punching ballots. That and a buck-fifty will get you a coffee. I want to know what democrat leaders do when they are voted in. Are they all about repealing unwanted extremist conservative policies?

Or are they about a bunch of crazy crap. Like actor Brolin. Do they all live in their little tiny worlds, places where the worst attack ever launched against the United States since Pearl Harbor, and perhaps ever, is nothing more than inspiration for a sarcastic joke and a couple of yuks. In short, I’m wondering the same thing about Brolin that I wonder about Michael Moore. The donk activists, no doubt, will pour out of the woodwork with their “yes but” nonsense, e.g., “yes we all know that was offensive and absurd, but he makes some good points…”

Does Brolin represent the donk politicians who want to be put in charge of things next year?

Well in trying to answer that, I stumbled across this…

…and I would have to say, this is even more of a kick to the figurative solar plexus than the first item. He comes on The View, pretends to do a high-five with token Republican Hasselbeck, who dutifully falls for it…and then turns around and ingratiates himself with the “mainstream” with a not-so-humorous high-level anecdote about his background: All his relatives were Republicans, but he learned to think for himself.

Ouch! That’s gonna leave a mark!

And you don’t even have to ask for examples, either. The very next thing out of his mouth, is a plug for this website. This is what Brolin thinks about when he thinks for himself? Yes, it is…or that’s what Brolin wants me to think…assuming he’s ready and able to think through the messages he intends to convey, which is something I have to doubt for obvious reasons. But he seems pretty enthused about this goofy website. I didn’t see anything to the effect of a disclaimer, or limitation, or “just because I think you should hit that website doesn’t mean I agree with everything on it.” I saw nothing like that.

And the website is about all the usual bullshit. The towers were demolished from within, look at the puffs of smoke, inside job, thermite, pretext for war, blah blah blah.

So James Brolin, I must conclude, is enough of a crazy whackadoodle that he believes in the “Nine One One Was An Inside Job” line. He advertises it, in fact, to show how much he’s learned to think for himself since his grandmother tried to bully him into voting Republican. That’s some good independent thinking there, Jim.

And the donks who want to run for the White House…well, I still don’t know. This “inside job” stuff surfaces fairly often, and it’s comparatively rare that a donk candidate, for any office, will forcefully repudiate any of it. So is it an official — or all-but-official — platform of the donk party that there were no terrorists, and George W. Bush the big stupid idiot cowboy moron managed to wire the World Trade Center with blocks of C4 and then hide all the evidence?

This seems like a laughable supposition. But, again, the Ass Party doesn’t forcefully distance themselves from this, and their failure to distance is substantially just as good as endorsement. It’s the votes. They need them.

And this would have to mean the second most important issue, has a direct bearing on the first. You want to be President, Mr. or Ms. donk. To be President, you sell your soul to Brolin and to whack-jobs like him, who think the skyscrapers were brought down by explosives. Which can only mean…we never had any terrorists to chase. The nineteen men who hijacked those planes must have been undercover agents for the CIA, or something. So on the first-most-important issue — my sense is going to have to be that you’re not going to be exactly gumming up the pipelines with those dead-terrorist bodies, huh? It’d be back to the good ol’ days of “my cruise missile missed him by a couple of hours” every year or two.

To the donks, and by that I mean, the power-players who decide how elections will be run, there is a different Number One issue: We haven’t been hearing anyone talk about Al Gore’s “Social Security lock box” for seven years now. Before all this terrorism stuff, you talk about Social Security, and donks win elections. That’s the way it’s supposed to work. Ooh, your gramma’s not going to get her checks if you put a Republican in charge — donks win elections. Ooh, here we go again, Republicans going to take her house away…every two years, the same stuff.

Terrorism kind of puts a damper on that. It’s tough to get worked up about how much old people with vacation homes can fleece thirty-something apartment rats, when we have very young men and women going into harm’s way and coming back wearing prosthetics. Or, in flag-draped coffins. That’s the big secret. The flag-draped coffin is supposed to be dealing an enormous blow to Republican “credibility,” but really it’s the donks who have something to sell us, that they can’t sell us while we’re still seeing these coffins roll in.

The donks don’t really want us to lose the war, per se. They just want it over. They want us to stop thinking about anything beyond the water’s edge…with the exception of some nifty healthcare system Sweden has that we don’t have. They want us to go back to agonizing about minimum wage, women-minorities-hardest-hit, and glowbubble wormening. And to make that happen, they’ll sell out to the Brolin maniacs who think the September Eleven attacks are just a big joke, and that the skyscrapers were brought down by Watergate burglars.

To Brolin, I owe a profound thanks for helping to prove my point. People who are considering voting for donks next fall, need to think long and hard about what that means. Are the donks teetering on the edge of insanity, or have they fallen headlong into the chasm, like you sir?

American DigestI owe an equally profound, and somewhat more sincere, thanks to somebody else too. Since I put up that original post, my traffic has tripled and after three days is going strong. This is because I was linked by my Number One blogger hero, Gerard Van der Leun, who somehow saw fit to scoop up an assortment of entirely-unrelated Morgan ravings and highlight them for the benefit of his own audience. Every subject imaginable, from cowardly anti-war yokels, to Marilyn Monroe’s shapely torso, to Wikipedia.

Gerard, I can’t thank you enough. We’re not so much into pumping up traffic here…this is The Blog That Nobody Reads, after all. But the prospect of making some new friends is always a promising one, and it’s a high honor indeed to have earned this kind of attention from your direction. In these parts, you’re a legend — the guy who thinks up new ways of saying things that desperately need to be said. In this corner of the ‘sphere, you’re always going to be the guy who thought up the phrase American Castrati.

So this is kind of like Jack meeting Cher. Kind of. Not really. Maybe we should let that one go. Anyway, thanks again, m’friend.

We do have some polite disagreement to make on the whole Bollinger thing, but that’s a story for another day. And I will say it’s a credit to the right-half of the “blogosphere” that you are calling out your teammates. Rather tough to envision The Left doing the same thing, to say the least.

The Second Most Important Issue

Saturday, September 22nd, 2007

The single most important issue of the presidential elections next year: Who is going to bring me the the biggest pile of dead terrorist carcasses over the next four years?

Among the sensible people who agree with me on that, many will argue there is no close-second; this is a far-and-away thing. I respectfully admonish them to reconsider, because the second-most-important issue is very important indeed, and it is breathing hotly on the neck of the first.

Coming in at a close second, and I do mean a close one, is a big package of interrelated sub-issues all knotted together. They have to do with the people who are actually proud to call themselves “liberals,” not in the classic sense, but in the post-modern sense. Can we be fooled into thinking they are really champions of our freedoms, when they’re forcing us to think that, and coercing us into silence on any other viewpoint? Are we really so dense that we fail to see, or we can be distracted from seeing, the irony in that simple contradiction? Are liberals crazy, or just stupid? Do we really have to let them vote even when they so obviously lack the level of maturity one would be expected to achieve by age eighteen?

Is it really being “centrist” or “moderate” when you let grown-ups run the government half the time, and a bunch of attention-starved spoiled brats run it the rest of the time? Are we really so desperate to put a woman in the White House that we’ll put one in who is barely even a woman, and is such a toxic candidate that she can’t voice a position on any issue, without inserting a villain into it, should one be missing?

Are we going to let our print-media journalists decide for us which scandals end public-service careers and which ones do not — knowing full well they’re in the business of selling bad news, and have no financial stake in seeing things run sensibly so that bad news is a more the occasional happenstance the rest of us wish it to be?

What exactly is this well-funded advocacy group that I continue to call “Move On From Some Things And Dwell Endlessly On Other Things Dot Org”? For whom do they speak? Now that we all understand they’re a bunch of all-but-certified nutcases, when they tell us their nutcase things are they speaking on behalf of Hillary? Obama? Edwards? Kerry? Kennedy? Anybody else who will be invested with the authority to decide important, life-altering things, should we opt to put the kiddies from the kiddie-table in charge again next year?

What about Michael Moore, does he speak for anybody? How cozy is his relationship with the “Inmates Should Run The Asylum” party?

Bad AdAh, if you’re smart, you probably know where this is headed. That ad. That horrible, wonderful, self-disgracing, gloriously-backfiring ad. And more precisely, the vote about the ad.

I have been instructed to believe…by those who endlessly instruct me to believe that they are laboring tirelessly for my right to think whatever I want to think, without so much of a hint of awareness of their irony…that the vote was a waste of time.

With all due respect, kiddies, I think not. The issue that faces us next year, right behind that whole dead-terrorist-bodies thing, is whether the donks benefit from a frayed, fragile, threadbare tethering to reality or whether that tethering has snapped altogether. The donks are pretty emphatic that the real issue is whether or not the current President is a dumbass, which seems to me a peripheral article of history at best. We disagree; should we debate the question, it would be a pretty quick debate but it might get a little messy, gentle as I would try to be. It’s the facts, you see; they are not on their side. Next year, they are running — the “moron” is not. That’s just the way things are. We don’t get to vote on George Bush’s intellect or lack thereof — we are obliged to vote on the sanity of the donks, or lack thereof.

We have a right to know.

We have a duty to know.

And now we know. There is a deep split in the donk party about whether they want to approach the brink of sanity, or go toppling over the edge. The “useless” matter about whether to condemn the ad, or not, is put to a vote. Yea, 72; Nay, 25; Not Voting, 3.

Members of the grown-up party voted unanimously in a grown-up way. You’ll notice, this has been the catalyst of every major disagreement in foreign and domestic issues in modern history, once you cut through the B.S. about whether an election was stolen just because it didn’t turn out the way someone wanted: Should bad behavior get a spanking or not? It all comes down to that. Some of us believe if we’d paddle the rear ends of our own flesh and blood for doing the same thing, there should be consequences for others for doing it. Others think everything comes down to a “civil rights” issue, and civil rights is somehow measured in your ability to get away with things that common sense says demand censure. I see it in illegal immigration, repealing the death penalty, the tasering of whoosee-whatsit, the invasion of you-know-what…it’s in everything about which we choose to argue, or just about.

And you see it in the ad. Everybody either agrees the ad was stupid, or else “feels” that it should be defended but understands this is impossible to do on an intellectual level, so they might as well keep their silence. It’s an indefensible message. The question is whether to point it out. And as usual, the wildest and craziest kiddie-table people have squeezed together some kind of passion on that issue, based on cynical knowledge of the political consequences but on no higher ideal. In short, they understand it was dumb, and they understand why the rest of us think it worthy of comment and inspection. They just don’t want us to do it because it interferes with agendas they have on other things.

Just a girl in short shorts...Into this hot-button issue wades Becky, a.k.a. Just a Girl in Short Shorts Talking About Whatever. Do try to contain yourselves, fellas…the blog title isn’t just about what she is, it also describes what she likes, and she’s not preferentially inclined toward you. But it’s always a visually rewarding experience to give her a hit now and then, since she can be counted on to put up pictures of what she likes. And who doesn’t like that?

She’s a lot like Bacon Eating Atheist Jew. Just a whole lot easier on the eye (no offense intended, Bacon). Strong capital-L Libertarian leanings with a healthy ability to detect crap from miles away…except when it comes to bashing conservatives, and then, from my point of view, she pretty much falls for whatever crap she’s fed. In summary, she’s got great cognitive thinking skills when she agrees with me, and doesn’t when she doesn’t. And when people comment they treat her with kid gloves, even when she’s wrong, because hey — she’s a good looking girl in short shorts. And I freely admit I’m in that crowd too. If it was “Just An Ugly Dude in Shabby Clothes Talking About Stuff” I’d probably haul out all kinds of whoopass I’m keeping bottled up.

But meanwhile, back to the subject at hand. The vote on the stupid ad was a tactical maneuver by Republicans, seeking to highlight the schism in the donk party. Becky has the wisdom and insight to penetrate this, but is sufficiently myopic to settle into the idea that since it’s political, and poised to benefit people who disagree with her on some issues such as gay marriage, there can be nothing good about it.

I personally have no use for MoveOn. They are a left wing socialist cadre of Internet whiners. But, they have become a financial powerhouse in the Democratic Party.

I also think their ad was in poor taste. But no more so than when George Bush made John Mcain’s daughter cry by announcing during the South Carolina primary campaign that she was the bastard daughter of McCain, conceived with some Asian wench. The girl still asks her Mom why the president hates her so much. Of course, Daddy eventually sucked up to Sonny.

But the record is replete with volumes of Republican crap at least as vile as the MoveOn ad.

So the Neo-con Republican Warhawks jumped all over the ad , as is to be expected. It detracts from talking about the war and how to get the fuck out, how stupid the president is and etc. [emphasis mine]

Ah, ugh. Darling…you fail. You fail big. The vote detracted from talking about President Bush being a raging clueless assbag one more time? Congress has some important business before it involving calling him a few more names? What is this, the third grade?

I’m sympathetic to the notion that resolutions are wastes of time, or at least, can be. House condemns this, Senate censures that, United Nations deplores some other damn silly thing…what’s the point? And yet, through the lens of history, I see when resolutions are offered with a maximum saturation of partisan political cynicism, this is when they are at the most useful to the public at large. It should not by now be a secret to anyone that when we vote, most of us are taking a calculated gamble on whoever is going to do the least harm. Genuine “confidence” in our leadership, to the extent it actually ever existed at all, is with us no longer. We vote for candidates who are going to bring the messages and priorities to the forefront we want at that forefront, and those of us who think critically always have reservations about it.

So since all the “smart” people are projecting the donks will win next year, I see this vote as in inspection of a new and shiny car that is all-but-bought, with the papers not quite signed yet. Turns out, it is poorly put-together and falls apart quickly. It’s subject to overheating and burnout. That, and nobody is really too sure how it works. Useful information to have just about now, right?

Compare this to some of the “resolutions” passed by cities, unions and colleges against the War in Iraq. Becky speaks for many. I hope everyone who finds fault with the Senate for taking time to condemn the “Move On From What We Tell You To Move On From Dot Org” ad — or more precisely, to figure out who among those seated for the vote, has the stones to condemn it — will find fault with those other resolutions as well. The Senate vote tells us something we, regardless of our ideological prejudices, desperately need to know. Come to think of it, Move On’s insanity itself has been doing that…probably the only useful thing they’ve managed to do in nine years and Lord knows how many millions of dollars.

Those other three examples, and many others like them, achieve no such thing. How do they stand as specimens of wasted time and energy?

Thanks to the vote, now we know who lacks the readiness, willingness, ability, and/or just plain balls to call out stupid crap, falling well beneath, but pretending to be on par with, the national discourse — when they see it. When means whenever they see it. That means we have twenty-five people voting in our legislative chambers upper house, who, by rights, ought to be sent right back to Kindergarten again so they can learn to play nice, right before snack time and nap time. I like that we know this, that we now have a list. We can debate to some extent what it means, but it’s established beyond any disagreement what the list is. The names are:

Akaka, Bingaman, Boxer, Brown, Byrd,
Clinton, Dodd, Durbin, Feingold, Harkin,
Inouye, Kennedy, Kerry, Lautenberg, Levin,
Menendez, Murray, Reed, Reid, Rockefeller,
Sanders, Schumer, Stabenow, Whitehouse, Wyden.

Remember: When we get a new President, over the last several generations it is nearly always either a Governor, or someone from this legislative body. One fourth of those seated therein, as I type this, are virtual children.

So I’m happy — thrilled, actually — that we got some valuable insight this week, on what is the second-most important issue of next year’s elections. When you vote for a donk…what do you get in return? Harmless resistance against a theocracy, in which nobody with any power has seriously proposed we should live, and in which we have never once even come close to living…or a bunch of slobbering childish fools intoxicated with power, who can’t communicate a thought with even a moderate level of complexity to it, without regurgitating gallon after gallon of instructions about what everyone should be doing and thinking?

Besides who’s going to kill the most terrorists, that is what we really need to know. We on the right wing, on the left, everything in between. We desperately need to figure out the answer to this question, and we have less than fourteen months to do it.

Best Sentence XVII

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

The winner of the “Best Sentence I’ve Heard Lately” award is, once again, Ann Coulter. Hey, what can I say, she tries harder than most other folks. It’s her schtick; she makes it her business to win these things.

And like the girl with the curl, when she is good she is very very good. It’s actually two sentences this time:

The editors of The New York Times have been engaging in a spirited debate with their readers over whether doctors are wildly overpaid or just hugely overpaid. The results of this debate are available on TimeSelect, for just $49.95.

Memo For File XLVII

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

Via Gerard: I find it worthy of comment how much the New York Times reads like the National Review, or maybe even a Rush Limbaugh sound clip, in editorializing about the Dan Rather lawsuit against CBS, the disgraced anchorman’s former employer. Must be somebody’s first day…or last day…or both.

Mr. Rather, 75, asserts that the network violated his contract by giving him insufficient airtime on “60 Minutes” after forcing him to step down as anchor of the “CBS Evening News” in March 2005. He also contends that the network committed fraud by commissioning a “biased” and incomplete investigation of the flawed Guard broadcast and, in the process, “seriously damaged his reputation.”
:
In the suit, filed this afternoon in State Supreme Court in Manhattan, Mr. Rather charges that CBS and its executives made him “a scapegoat” in an attempt “to pacify the White House,” though the formal complaint presents virtually no direct evidence to that effect.
:
The portrait of Mr. Rather that emerges from the 32-page filing bears little resemblance to the hard-charging, seemingly fearless anchor who for two decades shared the stage with Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings as the most watched and recognizable journalists in America. By his own rendering, Mr. Rather was little more than a narrator of the disputed broadcast, which was shown on Sept. 8, 2004, on the midweek edition of “60 Minutes” and which purported to offer new evidence of preferential treatment given to Mr. Bush when he was a lieutenant in the Air National Guard.

This is the first time I’ve been aware of the New York Times insisting on “evidence to that effect” in this context, or even bothering to take note of lack of such evidence. Good on them. Maybe after generations of running under the slogan “All the news that’s fit to print,” they’re finally living up to it.

As for Mr. Rather, I seriously doubt he needs a post-retirement career to be able to afford the buckwheat. Nevertheless, I’m tempted to entertain the fantasy that he’s found one, as a secret agent for the talk radio industry. Once you overcome the initial misgivings about such intellectual extravagance, this would all make sense. Perfect sense.

Dan Rather, fearless anchorman, tells us all what to think for a quarter of a century as the successor to Uncle Walter, and we believe him just like we believed Uncle Walter. Dan Rather is busted when someone slides a Microsoft Word document under his nose, and he and his producers present it as a document typed up in 1974 because they were told to think that. The bust is made by something called “blogs,” which didn’t exist for some 80% or more of Dan Rather’s career as Uncle Walter’s successor, and perhaps 90% or so of his career as a hard-hitting newshound. So…

…hucksters and shysters tell Dan Rather what he should think, and he tells us what we should think, naturally inspiring the question “how the hell long has this been going on?” But after the bust brings his career to an inglorious end, he presents himself not as a fearless anchor, or a hard-hitting newshound, but as a know-nothing pretty-boy behind a fancy desk reading from a teleprompter.

So he’s an old-school, notebook and shoe-leather take-no-prisoners journalist when there’s glory involved, but when it all turns to crap he’s suddenly just a talking head and nothing more. His former colleagues are just as guilty of failing to do the proper homework, and have been observed conducting themselves with equal measures of duplicity. In short — nobody got fooled by the Microsoft Word document. Everybody says it was somebody else’s job to check it out properly. Nobody got fooled…and yet, with all these reputations in tatters and all these careers ruined…you, the viewer, are still a stupid idiot Bush-bot if you don’t believe the documents were authentic.

When all the dust has settled, you tune into the evening news…why?

If Dan Rather can follow a news trail as well as people say, and is as smart as people give him credit for being, that’s got to be the answer. He’s a turncoat. He’s communicating a hidden message to us, that we should stop watching the boob tube and start reading blogs and listening to talk radio. That has to be it…because he’s turning the industry that made him a wealthy man — into a freakin’ joke.

An interesting aside: I was going to use the phrase “Swift Boat” as a verb to discuss what happened to poor Dan, when exploring the whole sorry episode from his perspective. It occurred to me that it’s never been satisfactorily explained to me what exactly this means — nevermind how often I hear it. In fact, “swift boat” may very well be the first term to be thoroughly worn out and tossed into the cliche junk heap before I even managed to catch a glimmer of the substance behind it. Well, I don’t like using words without knowing what they mean, and I don’t like shrinking from using words just because I don’t know what they mean. I certainly don’t like it when a lot of other people know something I don’t.

So I looked it up.

The substance was unsurprising, but the lack of discussion was not. There are — exactly — two definitions in the online Urban Dictionary, one constructed for appeal to the lefty-loosies and one for the tighty-righties:

1. The phrase “swift boat” describes a Vietnam-era patrol boat, but it is increasingly being used to describe the political tactic of using a concentrated media effort to discredit a person or idea.

The phrase developed out of the 2004 U.S. presidential election, when a group called “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth” attempted to suggest that Democratic candidate John Kerry lied in order to earn two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star during the Vietnam War. The group, as it turns out, was funded primarily by people who also frequently donated millions of dollars to the Republican party. Swift Boat Veterans for Truth was formed for the sole purpose of discrediting Kerry’s Vietnam War service and has not been heard from since the end of the election.

2. To thwart a conspiracy to deceive the public by getting the facts out on someone despite a concerted effort on the part of the media to ignore and/or actively discredit a politically inconvenient truth.

ABC’s false stories were unable to prevent the veteran’s group from being able to swift boat Kerry’s Vietnam fantasy.

Both sides give you an ounce of real definition, and a gallon of self-service to their own respective agendas. At this writing, one can easily observe that people who cast votes for these definitions, overwhelmingly would have preferred a Kerry presidency in 2004 and presumably now as well. But from this, we don’t know a lot about “swift boating” other than that it’s an assertion of something that some people happen to dislike. Wikipedia is no more helpful:

Swiftboating is American political jargon that is used as a strong pejorative description of some kind of attack that the speaker considers unfair—for example, an ad hominem attack or a smear campaign.

The term comes from the Swift Vets and POWs for Truth (formerly “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth”) and their widely-publicized attacks on 2004 Presidential candidate John Kerry. Historically, terms like “swiftboating”, “Swift Boating”, “Swift Boat tactics”, etc. were given currency by people who had very negative views of SBVT.

I briefly toyed with the idea of editing the article and removing the reference to “ad hominem”; I have never once heard the term “swift-boating” used to refer to an ad hominem attack. I have heard it repeatedly used to describe things the speaker would like listeners to think were ad homs; but nothing that would, according to said speaker’s own arguments, qualify.

The phrase “ad hominem” has certain rules to it. You have to engage in deception by distracting from the subject at hand. You can’t be attacking the argument itself; if you are, it’s unlikely any logical fallacy is being engaged, and this certainly isn’t an ad hom. If I use poor logic in the classic example of “All fish live in water, Flipper lives in water, therefore Flipper is a fish” — and you are heard telling someone “Don’t listen to Morgan, he is using poor logic” — this is not an ad hominem attack. You’re attacking my argument by attacking the logic used to construct it.

A better example of ad hominem would be “Don’t listen to Morgan, he only drinks beer from glass bottles.” The misplaced presumption of solidity in the attack, is the key. The presumption should be misplaced because the attack deals with personal attributes, removed from the substance of the original argument. People who drink beer from glass bottles can be right about things, people who drink beer from cans can be wrong about things.

Come to think of it, a great example of the ad hominem is “The group…was funded primarily by people who also frequently donated millions of dollars to the Republican party.”

But I’ve learned to leave my edits out of Wikipedia, whose problems of late result from being policed above, rather than below, par. While I believe in the experiment overall, I fear it is doomed to carry, everlastingly, at least a stain of defeat. This is perfectly acceptable to me, since we live in an imperfect universe filled with imperfect things. But some folks have made it their mission in life to police Wikipedia. Edits that offer another perspective on things, disappear so quickly that they have no effect at all, and this is by the design of an excessively enthusiastic editor who doesn’t happen to like that other perspective.

Said hyperactive and overly self-indulgent editors tend to lean left. That’s just the way things are. Leftists have more time.

On the swift-boat verb, I like my own definition better than the others I’ve read. Not just for the way it flows, but for it’s marriage with the truth. And it is truly an occasion worth noting when I manage to be concise while everybody else rambles on endlessly and in relative futility. Things do not often happen that way.

The act of pointing out something with regard to a matter under immediate discussion, that extremist zealots (particularly those inclined to the left) would just as soon have been left unmentioned. Especially, testimony from knowledgeable individuals that would place a purported certainty into significant doubt.

I think that says it all. To say someone has “swift boated” is not, despite appearances, an accusation of anything. It is a simple declaration. “I am an extreme, politically-motivated zealot and I wish you hadn’t said that.” It doesn’t mean anything beyond that.

Steep Discount for Move On

Thursday, September 13th, 2007

Terry Trippany, CEO and Chief Bottle Washer of Webloggin which currently hosts House of Eratosthenes, wrote up a revealing piece at Newsbusters about money changing hands between the New York Times and that advocacy group I like to call “Move On From Some Things, Dwell Obsessively On Other Things Dot Org.” Since, hey, let’s face it — that’s what it’s all about. democrat President lies under oath, move on…Florida is certified for President Bush in 2000, just keep picking at it like a little kid with his finger in his nose.

Betray Us?For the last handful of years, I’ve noticed being a good little leftist is all about telling others what to think. Move on from this…don’t move on from that…forget this…remember that. Never even think of allowing anybody to make up their own minds about things. Conservatives argue things, liberals chant things.

Really, since about the Great Depression our “progressives” have been hostile to the concept of the individual, so this is all to be expected.

What I really don’t get, though — and maybe this should make it on to the Things I Don’t Get list, because it really does baffle me — is the news monopoly. The dictatorship-ism of it all. I’ve encountered a lot of leftists, who don’t seem to even suspect they themselves are really leftists…bemoaning the dwindling number of corporate entities owning the news outlets. Much of this is inspired by the Murdoch acquisition of the Wall Street Journal, and on the surface it doesn’t seem to be a leftist argument. I personally find it pretty compelling. The theory is that our news drifts toward a railroad-baron-era monopoly, as the corporations that bring us our news, start to merge. Really, this just makes sense. The argument just boils down to this: Competition is healthy. What good American can argue with that?

Other than the speaker using the word “corporation” as a slur, like Ralph Nader, there isn’t much that’s even leftist about it.

But then I see our leftists going from that…to instructing me to believe, like Virginia’s daddy, if I see it in the New York Times it must be so. HELLO…big, leviathan, evil corporation? Monopoly? This was a concern just a minute ago?

Guess not.

So “Trip” finds out about this transaction and writes it up. Gets linked by Boortz, who for the moment has managed to screw up his archive page for September 12, so I can’t give Neal Boortz the customary hat tip with linky goodness like usual; I will when I can. Here’s the high level stuff. The notorious ad accuses General Petraeus of betraying his country, using a play on his last name. There is an argument used to support this accusation, and the argument is…well, the typical leftist bullcrap. He didn’t say what we leftists think he should have said, so that’s a betrayal.

See, when you’re a liberal-donk, you always start from the premise that someone owed you something. Must be a great way to go through life, in spite of the disappointments that must surface day after day.

The ad is freakin’ huge. The least you can expect to pay for a placement such as this is about $167 large. “Move on from some things, pick at other things like a skateboarding kid with a scab on his knee dot org” paid…drum roll, please…65.

Financially, so far as anybody knows, “Move on from some things dot org” is doing pretty well. The New York Times is NOT. Neither one of those is purely a private organization, so the public is entitled to know pretty much everything…and nothing has come to light to excuse this. In sum: If this isn’t an “in-kind contribution,” nothing is.

And there’s another angle to this as well, when one considers the laughable fantasy that the National Rifle Association or any other conservative-friendly group might get such a sweetheart deal. The “liberal press” angle. This is just one more piece of evidence to toss on the pile. It’s devastating, just like when the staffers at the Seattle Times erupted into applause upon hearing Karl Rove’s resignation. We are to presume when we read news out of a paper, it has been gathered with a sufficiently decent respect for truth and honesty, that we can make decisions based on what we read. This presumption depends on the supposition that there’s some objectivity at work here…some maturity. Maybe it’s impossible to be completely neutral when you’ve got a working brain and red blood in your veins, but if you do have some vicious slant and you’re a journalist, we the readers expect you to leave that at home.

Well…we’re running out of reasons to expect that.

It’s a “Why We Need Blogs” moment if ever there was one. Blogs are put together by loudmouths like me. We can lean right, we can lean left…whichever way we lean, we might as well ‘fess up about it because there isn’t much point trying to hide it. But newspapers on the other hand — they try to hide it. And it’s not like they can lean any ol’ way. They tend to slant left. They’re institutions. Institutions tend to harbor acrimony toward the individual, and when you’re hostile to the individual it just makes sense to lean left.

Which does wonders for the “move on from some things and stick to other things like krazy glue dot org” pocketbook.

Well — really, I think the public owes a thank you to the New York Times. Look what they let us know about for forty cents on the dollar: When you’re a left-wing activist group, you tend to define truth, honor and loyalty according to whether people say the things you like. This is a valuable chunk of information, and I know of some people who need to be told about it. Maybe if the Old Gray Lady gets in too much hot water, the feds should bail her out. And maybe, just maybe, that situation won’t be too long in coming.

Memo For File XLVI

Monday, September 10th, 2007

A little bit of constructive criticism for my local newspaper, the Sacramento Bee.

On the desk in front of me is the “Forum” section to the Sunday paper, slightly misshapen from what has become a customary “oopsie” or two as the corners are accidently dunked in the hot tub at twilight. Let us review all the opportunities this piece of paper had carry something important, by reviewing the seven days of events upon which this section might have commented.

Someone claiming to be Osama bin Laden appeared on a videotape that was released on or about Monday, dispensing a lot of instructions to Americans that we should convert to Islam, bemoaning global warming, chiding the democrats in Congress for failing to pull America out of Iraq, and basically sounding just like middle-eastern version of Keith Olbermann. Word got around Washington that the long-awaited report from Gen. David Petraeus is going to say more positive things about the “surge” in Iraq than the democrats would like it to say. As a result of that, after months of going on record with a wait-and-see approach about the General’s report, our democrats have decided to pull a hairpin U-turn and start trashing the report before it is released, questioning the General’s value as an impartial observer of the progress in the theater, and sending Harry Reid and Charles Schumer out in front of cameras to make asses out of themselves.

MoveOn.Org, the liberal activist group that for seven years has been dedicated to not moving on from things, has started attacking Congressman Brian Baird, D-Washington, for traveling to Iraq, returning back here, and daring to speak candidly about what he saw over there. So now, not only are Islamic terrorists attacking Americans for being American, but Americans are attacking other Americans for practicing freedom of speech after being elected to Congress, seeing the success of our country’s military engagements with their own eyes, and honestly informing the rest of us about what it is they’ve seen.

There was an absolutely unbelievable story about one of Hillary Clinton’s most prominent fund-raisers missing his bail hearing. Whereabouts unknown!

Oh and one other thing — in making his remarks, Sen. Schumer got busted by some intrepid bloggers after his web site was updated with a phony transcript of his comments on the Senate floor. In the floor speech, he singled out our troops for special criticism, citing “The inability of American soldiers to protect these tribes…” and someone altered this on his web site to “The lack of protection for these tribes.” So we learned our senior Senator from the state of New York wants to bash the men and women who are out there, risking life and limb, and he doesn’t even have the stones to stand behind his own remarks. Certainly, this is valuable information for the citizens of a democratic republic to have.

Fertile ground for my newspaper’s opinion section that coming weekend, wouldn’t you say?

See, to an American who has his priorities in order, I know what is to be concluded from the events above. I am one of those Americans. But numerically, I am insignificant, and so this is why I buy the Sacramento Bee from time to time — especially on Sundays. How do our nation’s most ignorant and easily-led citizens see such things? Can they detect lies, deceipt and charlatanism when such things are paraded right in front of their noses and pointed out to them? Well…now that the pages have dried out again, let’s rustle them open again and see what we have here.

I see the token conservative George F. Will wants us to think about Iraq. But only from a very high level, with commentary about Gen. Petraeus’ educational background, how we got the situation we currently have over there, the mistakes some of our civilian leaders have made. Not too much about recent events and how they might shape things from here on out. Nothing about Schumer’s shenanigans, or the videotape, or the political machinations by our democrat leadership in Congress as the Petraeus report comes due.

Leonard Pitts would like to talk about peoples’ feelings as the sixth anniversary of the September 11 attacks comes up. Always nice to have a human-interest story in The Bee; you can never have to many of those, I guess.

Commentary about healthcare. Together with a cartoon by Rex Babin prominently featuring a man’s bare buttocks. Good…what else? Letters to the Editor about whether or not President Bush should be impeached. Looks like it was “Impeachment Day” at the Letters Desk…there’s one letter about the Hillary fugitive, another one about kids not being able to play rough anymore, all other letters are about an impeachment that isn’t going to happen. Someone managed to detect some irony in Tony Snow’s overall medical condition — but not Michael Moore’s. For the uninitiated, Snow is the outgoing White House Press Secretary, and Michael Moore is a filmmaker who produces left-wing propaganda, calls his works “documentaries,” and wins awards for said documentaries as if they really were documentaries. One would expect Snow to have a right-wing outlook on the United States’ healthcare system, whereas Moore thinks our healthcare should work kind of like Cuba. Tony Snow has ‘fessed up to not having a 401(k) account. He is not yet cancer free. Moore, on the other hand, is a big fat slob who’d rather make movies about how our healthcare should work, than stop making his own healthcare needlessly expensive by being a big fat slob. So anyway…we have a special hatchet-job on Tony Snow for having an empty 401(k) account, branding him some kind of a hypocrite, but not a single peep about Moore.

Ah, and I almost the centerpiece: A hit piece on the front page, chastising homosexuals who dare to support conservative values…or conservatives who dare to be homosexual. It’s called “Hypocrites & Haters” but it should really be called “Who We’ve Decided You Should Hate This Week.” Not deemed complete without a huge splash photo of Sen. Larry Craig resigning in front of a zillion cameras. Not sure which is the bigger crime, being a gay Republican or a Republican who’s gay, but it’s clear someone’s got a big beef with anyone who is both of those. The dirty little secret is, it’s a reprint from an article on the hard-line extreme left-wing web site The Nation. I have never understood this practice. I hope it’s a questionable one: It’s like newspaper editors walked into your living room or home-office, fired up your inkjet printer, printed up something freely available on the Internet, reimbursed you for the ink but then charged you $1.62. If you wanted a printout — you would have made one yourself, right?

I’m also a little lost on this thing where you can’t have a negative thought about homosexuals in general, or even any thought that approaches negativity, until you find out they’re Republicans, at which point you’re somehow obliged to be displeased with them. Had the article taken homosexuals to task for their sympathies to any other political viewpoint, it surely would have been branded as “hate speech.” Since homosexuals are being effectively disallowed from any service or activism in support of conservative values, it seems not only are you allowed to write such stuff without anyone calling it a crime, but you can charge money for the reading of it…to be paid by Bee subscribers who lack Google skills, and can’t track down your hatred and invective on the Internet.

Well, with all these things going on with terrorism I’m glad to be reminded there are gay Republicans and that I’m supposed to hate them, that’s certainly valuable. Personally, I’m still of the opinion that if a politician is gay, but his votes are likely to bring in more dead terrorists, then by all means let ‘im go to work. But keep on burning up ink by the barrel, telling me what kind of prejudices I’m supposed to have a zillion more times. Maybe I’ll come around eventually. Well done.

David Brooks writes about a social contract for healthcare. Weintraub gives us more info about some kind of a health care “deal” coming into focus. I like Weintraub overall, but counting the “butt” cartoon this is four pieces already. Maybe my own good health has spoiled me rotten…it just seems like I should be reading more about terrorists, and what we’re doing to kill them, and less about how politicians and union officials think overly-expensive pills should be covered.

The Supreme Court ruled that the public has a right to access information on salaries of public officials.

A puff piece on Couric. A tasteful farewell to Pavarotti. Ginger Rutland isn’t pleased with the way the city handled Tex Mex and other downtown restaurants. Someone else is unhappy with the way prison guard pay is managed.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. We’re about to have a big showdown over the killing of terrorists, how well we’re doing it, whether Iraq will end up being a place where a lot of them get stamped out like the weeds they are, or to bloom like never before. I could, with very little effort, assemble a logically compelling argument that no other issue really matters by comparison. At least not right now. But whoever has the task of assembling the “Forum” section for the Sacramento Bee, doesn’t seem to see it that way. That person lacks a certain vision. It would be beneficial for that person to be called into a meeting with his or her superiors, for a quick talk, which need not be altogether pleasant.

I would start with this: Henceforth, let’s draw straws to see who gets to write the ONE editorial about health care, sniveling away about how America hasn’t “pinkified” the industry fast enough or hard enough to make us happy. Just one of those — that way we have the defense that the topics covered on the weekend may be marginal in importance and interest, but hey, they’re diverse. No need to sprinkle the healthcare-whining throughout the six-page opinion section, like flakes of pepper on a cod fillet, thereby depriving the paper of even that defense-of-last-resort. But in general…share some opinions that are timely, poignant, thought-provoking and important. There’s an agenda present that is due for a dropping, or an agenda absent that is due for a picking-up. Maybe both of those.

See, I don’t really begrudge my local paper for being hard-left-wing. I don’t even begrudge them for missing the cajones to admit this is what they are. Such misdemeanors are expected of newspapers nowadays. But newspapers should be topical. Or at the very least, they shouldn’t engage such an abundance of effort in making themselves trivial.

Jackasses Ride It Out, Pachyderms Fall And Stay Down

Sunday, September 2nd, 2007

When I was younger, if you defined for me a “scandal” as something that blows over if it affects a democrat but ends a career if it affects a Republican, I would have dismissed this as just so much whiny paranoid conservative right-wing garbage. But now, after so many years of seeing it work that way with so few exceptions, I’m just amazed it’s taken me so long to accept it. I find it even more amazing people can’t just look at what’s going on and just see it, like, instantly.

About the most charitable interpretation you could apply is that as a country we have an abrupt limit to our patience where hypocrisy is concerned. Republican politician says we need more “family values,” his donk opposition says no, we need people to be less judgmental — both get caught in scandal — I suppose you could have a greater desire to see the conservative bite the mat, without being prejudiced against conservatives. There you have a situation where both sides did something wrong, but only one side is a hypocrite. Maybe that’s all that is happening.

We can award forgiveness to our perverts and our white-collar criminals and our liars, just not to our hypocrites.

This is a worthwhile theory, and it can survive some scrutiny…even significant scrutiny. But not too much. Once you start to look at some other issues besides the famleeeee valyoooooz, you tend to make a rather surprising discovery about hypocrisy, and our tolerance of it. It turns out we have some. We have quite a bit.

Take tax policy as an example. if you’re serving as a “progressive” donk politician and you’re pissing and moaning about the public debt, how we need to “roll back the tax cuts of George W. Bush” so we don’t add on to the deficit too much, and to do that we need to soak the rich — I don’t think it’s the slobbering rabid right-wing Republican in me who wants to know if you’re mailing something extra to the federal treasury every year because you don’t think you’re being taxed enough. That’s not a right-wing question; it’s a neutral, and reasonable, question. Just because our print-media people aren’t inclined to ask it, doesn’t mean it isn’t the natural question to ask. Certainly not when you start bragging about how rich you are personally, and see this just proves how righteous you are because you want a tax policy that’s going to be unhelpful to you personally because you’re willing to “sacrifice.” I don’t think wanting to see your check stubs for those “extra” taxes your paying, is partisan. It’s just common sense. You think we don’t tax rich people enough, you’re rich yourself, you’re even bragging about it…show me your canceled checks for the “extra” taxes you’ve been paying. It’s perfectly legal to pay more taxes than what you owe in this country. The treasury won’t say no.

So to me, in a land that is ideologically-centered but shows glaring intolerance of hypocrisy, we wouldn’t have any politicians like this. In other words, give me twenty legislators who want to hike the marginal income tax rates and the capital gains taxes and the death tax, you should be able to show me twenty legislators who’ve been sending in “extra personal taxes” at the end of the year because they don’t think they’ve been getting taxed enough. Well, guess what. We’ve got all kinds of creeps under the dome that want to raise taxes. Rich creeps, who hire accountants you and I can’t afford to hire, to snag every single loophole that can be snagged just like any other financially savvy rich person. If that isn’t hypocrisy, why, I don’t know what is.

And there’s more than just the tax issue. There’s gun control…we have hypocrites there. Politicians using firearms, or hiring people who use firearms, to buttress and safeguard their personal safety, simultaneously working overtime to make sure it’s illegal for you and me to do the same thing. Hypocrisy. Hate crimes…as I was noticing last week, Janet Reno liked to pick-and-choose what would be prosecuted as a hate crime, apparently according to who was doing the hating and who was hated. You know, there are some powerful arguments in favor of and opposed to hate crime legislation, but it seems to me if you’re going to prosecute hate crimes in one direction, you should be willing to do it in all directions. Otherwise — that’s another example of hypocrisy.

I’m not jotting this down to pass judgment on it, that’s for the electorate to decide…or, I’ll pass judgment on it in some other essay, where that’s more in keeping with the point I want to make. In this space, I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on: Do we have a societal value or set of values, a universal moral code if you will, that bristles with hatred against hypocrisy down to the marrow of it’s bones? Erm…no. No, that’s not it. It’s silly to entertain it seriously even for a few minutes. We’re just fine with hypocrisy.

Even if it has to do with our leaders telling us not to do something, and then going off and doing that very same thing themselves. We will find a way to deal.

Now, nobody ever reads this blog, as I keep saying…but if you were to pore over the hundreds and hundreds of postings, you would see an ongoing theme where we catch “us,” as in the big “we,” pretending to be independent thinkers and making up our own minds on things…but in reality, getting told what to do, carrying it out, and looking back toward whoever told us to do it, so we can do what they want us to do next. In early 21st-century western civilization, this is the great tragedy of the human race. We like to think we arrive at conclusions independently — this is good, that is bad, we should stop doing such-and-such, so-and-so’s gotta step down — but…we don’t. We are pilot whales. We are lemmings. We think what we’re told to think.

We have to do this. How can we not?

After all, we’ve been sold on the idea that if two guys live next door to each other, one believes in Creationism and the other one believes in Evolution, they can’t be friends. Certain individuals, of course, have friendships they truly treasure, and with those ideologically-opposed friends, they become exceptions to the rule. But overall, the pattern holds firm. And it is truly sad. You think Atlantis existed, and your friend doesn’t…you think Jack The Ripper was a woman, your friend says otherwise…you think O.J. Simpson got away with murder, your friend says he was framed…you must stop being friends now. You’re not supposed to have anything to say to each other, except for periodic attempts to show each other how wrong you are.

So…to stay friends with people, we have to agree with them about things. We’ve lost the ability to maintain camaraderie with acquaintances who’ve looked at the same facts and formed different conclusions. If not lost it, we’ve allowed much of it to erode away.

And we’re a gregarious species. To our credit, we want to get along with each other.

So you see, logically, there’s no place else we can take that. We have to make sure we all think the same thing about a given situation. If everybody “knows” something is true and in our hearts, as thinking individuals, we know the opposite…we have to give that up for the sake of getting along with others. It’s got to be that way.

And in the right line of work, you get to tell people what they should be thinking, all day, every day. It’s really become rather useless and redundant to argue whether these kinds of professionals are slanted toward progressive political candidates and solutions. Everybody knows by now that they are; nobody’s saying otherwise, except the progressive candidates who are being handed sweetheart free-publicity deals and softball questions, and just a few of the journalists who are inclined to vote for them. To the rest of us, it’s become abundantly clear. Editors, columnists, people who are in the business of telling the rest of us what to think — they just like democrats.

Except the talk-radio heads. For a number of reasons, that’s different. I’ll get to that some other time.

But our print and electronic opinion-maker people, they really do love those democrats. Nowhere is this more plainly obvious, than in America’s newest tradition: The scandal. Conservative Republicans don’t survive them; liberal donks do. One scandal turns out that way, then another, then another…nobody questions it anymore. The questions are now reserved for milestones. How long till the conservative guy resigns? Is the liberal guy all done riding this thing out yet, or is there more to come? As far as how it’s going to turn out — there isn’t even any mystery to it anymore. Newspaper people want the Republicans to bite dust and for the liberal donks to hang tough…the rest of us obediently comply. And so this is the way things turn out. What was done, what we know about what was done — what, you thought those things had something to do with it? They don’t.

Yesterday morning, I tripped across Panda’s Thumb’s comment that scandals seem to afflict “Creationist” types disproportionately. I said the Thumb was correct, but not in the way the Thumb thought — the scandal has become an instrument in the surgical procedure that is the periodic removal of those who are religion-inclined.

…Panda’s Thumb is right: Scandals disproportionately afflict those failing to demonstrate an inimicable attitude toward religion, failing to embrace secularism. Scandals will continue to be pointed in that direction, toward those targets. The theory is correct, just not for the reasons thought.

That was yesterday. Today is today.

Effort to oust Doolittle grows
Embattled by scandal, he faces a possible fight to keep his seat.

By David Whitney – Bee Washington Bureau

One by one, Republicans are lining up to elbow John Doolittle out of the way.

Conservative Air Force reservist Eric Egland, who appeared in an ad for Doolittle last year, says he will run against the congressman in the June primary, and he’s already raised $100,000.

Moderate Mike Holmes, the Auburn city councilman who received 33 percent of the primary vote against Doolittle last year, says he will try again.

Last week, Roseville Assemblyman Ted Gaines, another Republican politically aligned with Doolittle, all but announced his candidacy, saying the congressman has lost his “moral ability to lead.”

Their collective message is that a federal investigation of Doolittle and his wife has become an insurmountable political obstacle.

If Doolittle doesn’t make plans to retire, they say he will have to be defeated in a primary to prevent Democrat Charlie Brown from capturing the 4th Congressional District.

Republican consultant Jeff Flint said it’s time for party leaders to take action to prevent Doolittle from seeking a 10th term next year.

“Eventually, the party leadership is going to have a serious conversation with him,” Flint said. “Those things tend to work better sooner than later. If you wait too long, it just taints the whole district. You end up losing the district even if the troubled incumbent is not the nominee anymore.”

What’s the story missing? It’s missing an event that made it imperative to do a write-up about the situation. Other than the elections next year, there isn’t one…there’s a scandal, with an associated hubbub that’s been waxing and waning for many years now. Nothing has happened with the scandal lately, nothing at all. It’s just kind of hanging out there. It was supposed to create a desired result, it has not done so yet — and so it’s time to write up a story about the “troubled” and “embattled” congressman Doolittle.

You see, our newspaper editors don’t get to decide how we vote. But they do get to decide what we talk about.

And if Doolittle was a liberal donk, this would not be happening. The layman doesn’t understand what Doolittle did wrong, and the scandal is over two years old. Granted, those are very dismal reasons for overlooking, or dismissing, a scandal. But let’s face it: For a liberal donk, either one of those would be more than adequate. Liberal donk does something wrong, nobody really understands what it was…well, that’s okay. Or…scandal grows around the liberal donk, two years into it the donk is still there — well, just forget it then. The public is “tired” of the scandal. You’ve “shot your wad.” “Move on.”

Both of those factors together? The scandal has crossed the two year mark, and nobody understood what it was all about in the first place? Hah! Forget it. A liberal donk, in that situation, would have nothing to worry about. He’d live to bury us all.

But Doolittle is a conservative Republican, with short fine slick black hair parted on one side.

Look at the week just gone past that this Sunday edition of the newspaper “bookended”: Yes, Sen. Larry Craig got taken down. In record time. Which further helps to support my theory…but something else happened. Hillary Clinton learned one of her most energetic fund-raisers was a fugitive on the run from the law.

That is a scandal. Hillary will survive it, relatively unscathed. Larry Craig did not survive his…Doolittle will not survive his either. Deep down, anybody who’s paid more than a passing glance worth of attention to this kind of issue, knows this is exactly how things will turn out. Why things are this way, nobody can explain. Not according to an innocent viewpoint about how our political society judges people, they can’t. By being cynical, and suspecting the worst, I think I’ve cobbled together a serviceable explanation above.

It is the only one…the ONLY one…that works. We just aren’t into right-and-wrong that much. We just don’t care. We’re into making sure donks live to fight another day, and elephants bite the dust. Our newspaper editors, you see, want things to be that way. And we all want to get along with each other. Therefore, we comply.

And we’re worried about “civil liberties” because some murderous creep down in Gitmo doesn’t understand air conditioning, and thinks he’s tortured when a machine blows cold air into his cell? I dunno, y’all…seems a better sense of perspective is overdue.

I’m Fifty-Four Percent Addicted…

Saturday, September 1st, 2007

…to blogging.

54%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle2Dating Site

H/T: Buck

Disagreement

Sunday, August 26th, 2007

I got back a very thoughtful off-line mini-essay from John at The Expanding Introverse, with whom I disagree about certain things. He points out that he and I do agree about other things, although on balance I think we disagree about more things. But John has the balls to also disagree with other folks, with whom he’d be inclined to agree, since those other folks also disagree with me.

Follow? The guy thinks for himself.

This is becoming something of a lost art, I’m afraid. One of the reasons I’m glad to have met the nobodies who don’t stop by to not read The Blog That Nobody Reads, is occasionally they have the big brass ones to disagree with moi. “Out there,” away from blog-o-ville, you don’t see that often anymore. What goes on with alphabet-soup-network television commentary, and to a lesser extent in newspaper commentary, is more like “I agree with you, you agree with me, we both disagree with the guy behind the tree, now let’s just get together and say so over and over again.”

Disagreeing takes BALLS. Disagreeing, I mean, as a conclusion of reasoned thought — not as an agenda item, something you knew you were going to do before a single word was spoken, simply because of the identity of the person with whom you chose to disagree. Real disagreement takes balls, and I’m afraid even with the medicinal balm of the blogosphere arriving in the nick of time, it’s still on life support.

John’s still wrong about some things…but I’ll get that fixed in time. Meanwhile, he’s more part of the solution than part of the problem. Welcome, sir.

Russ Vaughn

Monday, July 30th, 2007

Via blogger friend Rick we learn about Russ Vaughn, at Old War Dogs. I’m not sure what to make of this…I’ve been beaten upside the head with this notion that everybody who supports the war is a “chickenhawk” and hasn’t served, and we got all these armies & armies & armies of peacenik vets who understand this is just a bloodthirsty war for oil, and President Bush took down Saddam Hussein out of revenge for an assassination attempt on his Daddy, and they know this because of their military experience. That’s the relentless drumbeat I’ve been hearing, anyway. And here and there, there’s an example or two to back it up.

People who served, properly despise George W. Bush and “his” war. People who haven’t, are cowardly chickenhawks and they’re they only ones who see any value in the invasion of Iraq.

And along comes some direct evidence to the contrary.

It’s yet another moment of What am I gonna believe, the steaming propaganda or my lyin’ eyes

Schlock Troops

The liberals say they support our troops,
Which they’ve a funny way of showing;
Like publishing false atrocity scoops
Bout which they’ve no way of knowing.
They’ll gleefully publish unverified crap
From the dark mind of a wannabe writer,
Hoping they’ve set another antiwar trap
With crimes claimed by a liberal fighter.

The troops that liberals truly admire,
Aren’t the brave who fight uncomplaining,
But deserters who flee, avoiding the fire,
And the misfits can’t handle the training.
But liberals save their true veneration,
Like front page at the New York Times,
For soldiers willing to attack their own nation,
Trumpeting charges of brutal war crimes.

This pattern was set during my own war
By a traitorous, vainglorious politician,
A treasonous, poisonous, political whore,
Feeding future presidential ambition.
Liberals back then sucked up his schlock,
Proving to the world that they’re dupes,
Establishing a pattern now become stock,
For these America-hating Schlock troops.

Russ Vaughn
101st Airborne
Vietnam 65-66

Accepting My Challenge

Saturday, July 28th, 2007

Challenged to a DuelI have been challenged to, and accepted, a duel with JohnJ at RightLinx, whom I understand to be one and the same with Johnjrambo2000 at Bullwinkle Blog. At issue is the ninth installment of Yin and Yang, and the points of disagreement, as stated by my opponent, are these:

Freeberg’s basic point is that individualism is better than collectivism. This is, of course, a value judgment. Since not everyone has the same values, individualism cannot be better than collectivism for everyone. Some people will prefer collectivism because it corresponds to their values. What would Freeberg do with these people?

And…

Freeberg also claims that there is no middle ground between Yin and Yang. I have to disagree with that point as well. Yin, as he defines it, are those people who, basically, lack social sense, but who can often make up for it mechanically. Yin will never achieve the natural social sense that Yang has, though. It seems to me, though, that there’s no basis for assuming that people don’t have various levels of use of the Orbito-Frontal Cortex, a part of the brain that is used in socialization. I don’t see any reason to assume that it’s all or nothing. If anything, the assumption should be just the opposite. The vast majority of people should fall between the two extremes.

We’re still in the stages of defining the points of disagreement, but I’ll have to cut in at this point because there’s disagreement in this definition. If there is a value system to be promoted in recognizing the Yin and Yang bifurcation, I would hope it is limited to leaving well enough alone. To hold one of these halves above the other in a universality of situations, such that one is innately superior and one is innately inferior regardless of whatever challenges would come up, would not only be inaccurate but also unkind. Somewhere within the thousands of words I’ve written about this, that message may have been blunted or even lost. But the Yang, while largely a mystery to folks like myself, accomplishes things we need to get done. So what would I “do with these people?” The question answers itself. They are here; they are doing stuff; the stuff they do cannot be done by anybody else.

But if I get to decide what the Yang are going to do, I would scribble down one preference. I would like the Yang to leave others alone.

There’s something about the strongest Yang, and I gather it comes from the lifelong habit of viewing all challenging exercises to be social. They tend to be controlling. They tend to want others to resolve problems the way they resolve them. I touched on this somewhat in the Fourth installment, which was inspired by a story that mothers-of-brides in some Asian cultures force their daughters to cry at the wedding. There’s nothing inherently Asian about this, it’s universal. Yin think; Yang feel. The thinker is touchy about how he is allowed to do his thinking, nevermind what everybody else is doing — but the feeler must control the feelings of everyone in proximity.

This explains my many references to the construction of a giant wall. Imagine a room containing twenty people, a piano and a computer. If the piano and computer are both to be used, friction will inevitably result. A piano must be a social vehicle. A computer — notwithstanding YouTube clips and photo albums — is not. Whoever wants to use the piano is going to want to control the feelings of the other nineteen people in the room…that is what a piano does. A computer processes information. Or — it looks at porn. It is, mostly, a device to be used in solitude.

The point is, the guy using the computer will be likely oblivious to what others in the room are doing. They can do what they want as far as he’s concerned. He’s a Yin, and the first step to what he is doing is to draw a boundary around what he is doing. Working on a drawing, writing up a post on his blog, testing a computer program…all of these things work within a system. Even if the system is complex, it is a system of interrelated parts that function within a perimeter, and anything outside that perimeter will be disconnected.

Some will argue, with a kernel of truth to it, that the concept of disconnection is mythical — all things are connected. There is truth to this only if one regards trivial or irrelevant things to be somehow important. The computer is connected to other things because there is an Internet…and there is power. These things are true, but they’re ultimately meaningless. The program, or the drawing, or the blog, all these things are essentially isolated systems. A stimulus crosses the perimeter surrounding the system, and the system with it’s interrelated parts is supposed to provide a proper response. If the response is correct, a task is complete, and if it isn’t, more work needs to be done. This is how the Yin see the world. Not just the computer…but every little thing they do. And they’ve been looking at it that way since they were little kids.

Contrast this with the piano. There is no meaningful boundary that surrounds the piano. Someone plays it, and “we” are going to listen to it. “We” are going to feel whatever the song being played on the piano, tells us to feel. If one person starts singing along, everyone else will feel compelled to start singing too (unless the song is something like Ailein Duinn).

If these are both happening at the same time, there is going to be friction. Screwing around on the computer, after all, is not what “we” are doing. “We” are gathering around the piano, and you should not be doing what you are doing on the computer. Come over and join us.

Note — if the lone-wolf was watching a football game or wrestling match on television, this would make so much more sense. That would intrude on the piano-playing. But with goofing off on a computer, or doing work on a computer, this doesn’t apply. Yet anyone who’s been in such a situation, understands that the urgency involved in getting the computer-guy off the keyboard, to come join the crowd, is just as pushy as it would be if he had the TV cranked at full volume.

There is no explanation for this, other than the Yin and Yang theory. The Yang want all things in proximity to work in a uniform way. It has to be that way, because a mission to defeat all borders within visible proximity is what being social is all about. It isn’t disrespect or unfriendliness. It’s quite the opposite. When you’re socializing, you want to bring everybody into the fold.

And so John and I have a disagreement about what I said. I do not want to banish people or wish them away to the cornfield. But I do think building a wall would be educational. I’m convinced it’s part of the human nature to repeatedly stir up friction of the “piano and computer” variety, friction that has no real reason to be there, and in response to such friction, do anything but what would make the most sense. We tend to put up with it, we irritate each other, we schedule our daily activities in such a way as to stir up the same useless friction at the same time every day.

I do have the sense that the Yin tend to build things used by the Yang. That is our place. We are “systems builders.” We draw lines around things, we wait for the loud sociable people to leave us the hell alone, and then we get things within those perimeters to work the way they should. The Yang do exactly the same thing — except to them, the perimeter is whatever they happen to understand at a given moment. Within line-of-sight, everything has to work the way they want.

The Yin get stressed out if the perimeter or something within it, starts to slip out of their control. One sign that a person is a Yin, is if he curses his own bad memory. Yang seldom do this. God damn it, there’s something else I was supposed to get right…what was it? The Yang, to my long-standing envy, seem to be spared from this. You see this most definitely when you see them hosting a party. Good heavens, is there anything we can do that is more demanding of detail, achieving pre-defined tasks within a boundary, than hosting a party? It gives me a huge migraine. Nevermind that socializing-with-people thing you have to do.

But the strongest Yang pull it off effortlessly. If their definition is strong, they are extraverts, and that means as the party goes on they recharge their “batteries” while mustering up the energy to carry dirty dishes out to the kitchen and bring out new plates of food, coordinate the entertainment, switch the music around, etc. etc. etc. Yes, they need to do things a little bit out of their turf, but they’re up for it. All evening long, they are in the mode of being fully charged. People like me, see the “chore” of socializing with folks as an ancillary task, one we could barely manage — even if we like the people — without all these minute-to-minute cleanup details we have to do. But the Yang see it as the payoff.

Yet another reason why I wouldn’t banish them anywhere. We need them.

And some Yang don’t even mind the details. They are spared the Yin headache of remembering details, because they simply…don’t.

The Yin are spared headaches too, though, that plague the Yang. This is in the form of other individuals doing things in a way different from the way we would do them, if we were they. Doesn’t bother me one bit. I’m a guy who types away on a computer. Now honestly, John & everybody else…how many people do you know who are the exact opposite of that? We’ve all had the acquaintance of some Yangy-type person who constantly has a problem — something that is easily seen by others as a great source of concern, giving her an upset stomach and sleepless nights — something to do with someone doing things the wrong way? This is their cross to bear. And I doubt it’s an act, I think it is an ongoing source of real tension.

Tolerance, John. That is my solution. Good old-fashioned tolerance, the kind our liberals say they support (although seldom do). Tolerance, respect, empathy. Let the Yin support the Yang in all the things that Yang labor day-to-day to get done…and vice-versa.

Now to your second point, that there is no middle ground. On this issue, you are half right in understanding where I’m coming from. But as I said in the ninth installment that inspired your challenge, we have to dispense with the latent skills that can be nurtured by highly intelligent and functional individuals in their more mature stages of life. If you’re sufficiently talented, obviously you can make up for what you left undeveloped in childhood. “Yin” can figure out how to socialize; “Yang” can figure out how to solve puzzles. And when they do this, they end up being what I believe you’re describing with this “middle ground.”

But we have to dispense with that when we consider how these people are going about these tasks upstairs, between their ears. And this is what we need to do when we talk about Yin and Yang, because that’s what the divide is all about. What kinds of pathways did you dig out in your brain tissue, in the “old-growth” parts. The thinking you learned how to do before you lost all your baby teeth.

That’s important because any other kinds of things you learned to do, much later, after your teenage years — functional as all that stuff may be, it’s still stilted and awkward. If you’re highly adaptable, the best you can do is to cover up the awkwardness. But it’s still like a right-handed person writing with the left hand. You’re attempting a task, perhaps completing it, perhaps netting satisfactory results, maybe even super-satisfactory results. But it’s not something that comes naturally to you.

The BlockLet me introduce a theory to help explain this. Let’s call it the “Big Gray Building” theory; we will take all of your formative years, stretching deep into adulthood in which, as your maturing personality develops skills to meet rising challenges in the business world, you do this crossing-over. This writing-with-the-other-hand.

Imagine this vast expanse of time, from birth to age forty or fifty or so, as a walk halfway around a block. You are born on one corner of the block — you pop out of your mother’s womb there, with no skills whatsoever. There is a “business convention” at the opposite corner, which I’ve represented here with a great big red X. When you get to the big red X, you’re going to have to show functionality in both Yin and Yang endeavors. That goes without saying. This is an important business conference, and we’ll need the participants to have social skills (Yang), as well as problem-solving skills (Yin).

Here’s the challenge: As any informed parent will agree, young children have an amazing talent for learning whatever it is they want to learn. Regardless of intelligence, the pace at which micro-toddlers learn their things, is amazing. If we could keep this pace up into adulthood, we’d all be geniuses. But we don’t.

And so, as this micro-toddler, you can “crawl” along these avenues toward the business convention, at a rocket-like pace.

But — you can’t turn corners.

And there’s this big gray building between you and the red X. It is a monolithic building. There is no alley. All entrances on the building (save for the one at the X) are locked shut tight.

And I think this is our real point of disagreement. I’m contradicting hundreds of years of dogma in the education of children in asserting this…but based on what I’ve seen, it’s true. Children crawl toward the business conference that demands a functional representation of all skill sets. They develop one half of the needed skill sets…or the other. They’ll neglect one of the other. There are two paths toward the X, from which each child can choose only one — neglecting the other.

Appearances notwithstanding, that’s the way things will stay. Until at least the teenage years, one path will lie neglected.

LibraryIf they lack the maturity to build a network involving peers or parents, they’ll have to be forced into it. But if that’s the situation, they won’t naturally take to it. They’ll do it when forced to do it. And meanwhile, if they have any intelligence at all, they will become adept at solving problems. This is simply path of least resistance. Being children, they will have to challenge themselves, and if the socializing presents too much of a challenge they’ll find a challenge that doesn’t involve socializing. They will crawl — more like shoot — due North along the street I’ve called “Rain Man Lane” — developing cognitive ability while neglecting, to some degree, social skills. And they can’t turn corners, so they’ll be stuck up there once they reach the end. They’ll become “nerds,” seeking out more and more challenges that don’t involve interacting with people. Let’s say there is a “library” up there. They will pop over to this virtual library at around age five, and stick around there. They’ll remain there until, roughly, the age they can start driving.

They’ll be “nerds.”

You don’t want to deny there is such a thing as a “nerd,” do you John? The nerd has become a staple in American culture, for good reason.

Social ClubNow, some children will have the maturity to build the above-mentioned parent-peer network. And at a very early age, on the light side of two years old, they’ll shoot off Eastward along “Valley Girl Street,” toward a “social club.” These sociable kids can’t turn a corner any better than their nerdy counterparts, even if they’re very mature and intelligent. This favored pastime of socializing people, just burns too brightly and is too tempting for them. Even with homework and exams and so forth, there is little point to nurturing problem-solving skill. The need just isn’t there.

But — I’m sure you want to ask this — these are the kids who tend to get the best grades. Surely you’re not suggesting they’re all “socializing” by cheating on their tests?

No, there’s a huge bundle of evidence here that the babies shooting off to this “Social Club” can indeed solve problems. They can do their homework, with little error, and they can get sky-high scores on pop quizzes.

But here’s the rub. Their advantage dissipates when there is re-interpretation involved. They excel at multiple-choice questions, but their impressive achievements start to taper off with essay questions. If they can complete an essay question, they aren’t often known to re-word the phraseology they’ve learned, to construct synonyms — to show true comprehension. And most impressive of all: I’ve noticed this in childhood as well as after I’ve come to maturity. They tend to lack the ability to retain.

This is a big hole in our educational system, in public schools as well as private. Testing a student’s ability to truly absorb concepts as well as text, is a highly difficult chore. Again, we’re at path of least resistance — this time with regard to the teacher instead of the student. And path of least resistance is, you test short-term retention. Study on the week that ends on the 10th, and we’ll have our test on the 15th.

So these Yangy kids, for the most part, are allowed to wind through the school system being tested only on their ability to memorize things; to mimic. True understanding of concepts, and problem-solving, is something tested only rarely. Far more often, the exercise at hand is repeating things back. When this is a prelude to socializing, the social-minded kids tackle it with gusto.

Many will disagree with this. Want proof? Go to your high school reunion, approach a dozen of the brightest, most socially-outgoing kids who got the best grades. Ask them a textbook question they could easily have nailed in the days-gone-by. At least ninety percent of the time, you’ll get a deer-in-the-headlights look back.

Memorize a concept, you’ll never forget it. Memorize text, you’ll forget it in a week. By and large, school tends to force kids to memorize text.

Complete BlockSo now our block is complete: You’re born at a corner, there is a library at one corner, a social club at another, and then there’s a business convention going on at the far corner where you won’t arrive, until you’ve become a mature adult. Not a twenty-something, but someone with the maturity to achieve functional command of the spectrum. Since kids lack the ability to round corners, and childhood itself runs light on challenges that make real demands to do such corner-rounding…each set of child is stuck in his respective corner. Adulthood, probably, will bring a fresh wave of challenges. These challenges will, at long last, demand this corner-rounding — accepting no substitute for it. The child who crawled East will have to crawl North, and vice-versa…the business convention is at that inconveniently-located corner after all.

And both kids will work hard at it. But now they’re nurturing talents in adulthood. They aren’t learning as quickly or as definitively as they did before.

So they both arrive at the business conference, which demands all this Yin-and-Yang skill from everyone present.

This is the part John missed: Yin and Yang is about the path they have taken, not where they end up. This determines how their brains are wired, and how, between the earlobes, they tackle each perplexing problem that comes up. At least, the problems that have no pre-fabricated solution. The route they have taken to the business conference, dictates the method they’ll use to solve these problems.

Paths TakenAnd as far as the path they have taken, there is no middle ground. At least, that’s the theory. Remember, the big gray building is monolithic. For a socially-exuberant child to develop real problem solving skills, is improbable because it’s unnatural. Children develop skills wherever need intersects with opportunity. They have to have both, or the development is highly unlikely to take place…and the socially-energetic kids don’t have need. As for the socially-interactive skills developing in the nerds, that’s a matter of opportunity. It’s absent, and so they go for the next best thing. They develop the ability to think out unorthodox challenges through a cognitive process, an ability their more friendly and outgoing counterparts invariably lack.

So I think those are the points of disagreement between John and myself. I don’t want to banish the Yang…and the divide between my kind and theirs, is clean and decisive. That doesn’t mean we can’t work together. In many ways, we have to work together.

But I do think I need to pick on them a little bit. They get in trouble with people like me, from time to time, because of this controlling behavior. Their superior skills in the realm of engaging their peers socially, gives them an unfortunate tendency to behave as if all problems can be solved this way. Not some — all. And this, in turn, saddles them with a weakness in the department of looking at reality as it objectively exists…along with an ego too fragile to acknolwedge that this might be the case.

And this brings me to Macmic, the deep-thinker with the .ca e-mail address who attached two impressively-sized epistles to the end of the Michael Moore post in the week just past. He, I am gathering, is exactly what I’m talking about. Now that I think about it, so is Michael Moore himself. As I wrote about Mr. Moore…

Why does Moore have anything to do with America? Every time he comes out with a movie he keeps returning to his “Bowling For Columbine” theme that there is something wrong with America, something rotten in its core — something that compels us to be afraid of things and shoot each other all the time. He makes his films in Canada. He claims to be from Flint, MI — not too much of a drive to go from there, into Canada, for good. I’m not saying it to be derisive or dismissive — watch his movies sometime. Any one. The dude really likes Canada, and I don’t know of a single good thing he’s had to say about the U.S. by comparison. What’s he doing here?

It’s a question I might as well have posed with regard to a lot of other folks besides Michael Moore.

Now take a good look at what’s going on here. Just take a long, hard look at the world. We have all these countries that are not America. Hundreds of them. They have all embraced socialism, in one way or another. First world, second world, third world. Oh sure, they have different rules, different programs in place that address different things, and they all allow “businesses” to operate in some crippled form. But America trails behind all of them in this path to socialism. America, alone, struggles along awkwardly as a half-breed society, kinda socialist, kinda not, with some semblance of longing for true individualism still trickling through it’s veins.

In all other places, the need comes up for the individual to sacrifice something for the “public good” — and it’s done. We have a social problem and we need a curfew — okay. There is violence at nighttime and we’ll have to ban alcohol after seven o’clock — done. Traffic is congested so we’re going to install round-abouts to force your errand to take longer than it should — we comply. We’re disarming, please present all your guns to the sheriff in the town square tomorrow at noon — alright.

Only in America is there some remnant of healthy, cantankerous protest on behalf of the individual. We waver a lot here & there, but we still have it.

And along come passionate, all-controlling collectivists like Michael Moore to stamp it out. Here. It is not a case of live-and-let-live. Michael Moore could live in Canada, which already manages healthcare exactly the way he wants it done. He could live anywhere. He could let America sink or swim.

But he has to mount a crusade to get one country on the face of the globe, to do things the way he wants them done, when all other countries already do it more-or-less the way he wants. He’s got to stamp out the last remnant of resistance. Why, if that isn’t controlling, I don’t know what is.

Macmic makes the same point about countries that John makes about people: I have neglected the middle-ground. China has socialism and capitalism, both. So does Japan. So do many, many other countries.

Macmic’s logical error, here, is to presume all these societies are at rest. That is untrue in all his examples, and it cannot be true anywhere. It simply can’t hold up, because in human history all efforts to control others are prolonged struggles. My point about the collectivists is that the desire will always be there. Remember what I said about the Yang — we are all gathered around the piano, gathering around the piano is what we are all doing. Individualists can live in harmony with collectivists, but collectivists cannot abide individualism.

And so, when Yin and Yang are placed in proximity, there will be an enthusiastic and energetic effort among Yang to convert the Yin. Yang, obviously, foster an environment friendly to collectivism, so this bleeds over into the interaction between individualists and collectivists; where they exist in proximity, there will always be a mission among the collectivists to eradicate all others.

And that’s why I referred to socialism as the Terminator robot of economic models. It really is. Michael Moore proves it — he’s got the entire world, sans America, and it isn’t enough. His physical obesity and obvious mode of gluttony, turn out to be convenient metaphors for his desire that socialism should cover a few more square miles, until it has gobbled the globe.

No, I don’t think the Yang are inherently unfeeling or evil. I don’t think they want to eradicate humanity. I don’t even think they want to kill Sarah Connor. I don’t think they’re all collectivists or socialists…all they do, to my mind, is create an environment that allows collectivism to spread. If someone must erect a breakwater so this attack on the individual can be stopped, or slowed down, it is up to the Yin to build it. But the collectivists must run everything, every square inch all over the globe, or else they are perpetually hungry for more. “Terminator” fits the collectivists very, very well. That’s why socialism always ends up being unimaginably hostile and dangerous, even though it is never designed to be that way.

Listen. And understand. That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Stranger than Fiction

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

Via Buck, we come to find out about a humdinger of a tale. In spite of all the shenanigans-alarms, it seems to have some truth to it…or at least some detail. I’m going to have to change my bet to “real”:

A grand feast of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp was winding down, and a group of friends was sitting on the back patio of a Capitol Hill home, sipping red wine. Suddenly, a hooded man slid in through an open gate and put the barrel of a handgun to the head of a 14-year-old guest.

“Give me your money, or I’ll start shooting,” he demanded, according to D.C. police and witness accounts.

The five other guests, including the girls’ parents, froze — and then one spoke.

“We were just finishing dinner,” Cristina “Cha Cha” Rowan, 43, blurted out. “Why don’t you have a glass of wine with us?”

The intruder took a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupéry and said, “Damn, that’s good wine.”

For the sake of my own record-keeping, the wine in question is here. Good enough to transform an armed robbery into a group-hug.

Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

Friday, July 6th, 2007

Found this interesting list via blogger friend Duffy.

This Is Good XL

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

Some other fellow who shares my obsessive-compulsive disorder for making lists, has jotted down what he hates about the innernets and he did an outstanding job.

I know this is a good list, because I agree with everything on it.

Especially these three:

2. Europeans
Especially the ones who blame all of the world’s problems on America and thus all Americans as well. You people know who you are. You’re just lucky there was no internet during WWII. Enough said there.
:
7. Advertisements with sound
…Whoever the mastermind was behind these advertisements should be hunted down and killed like the animal he or she is. Preferably tortured first. For a long time. A very long time.
:
9. LoL
Everyone knows you aren’t laughing, so why feel the need to lie about it?

This Is Good XXXIX

Sunday, May 20th, 2007

Ten Reasons I Didn’t Start a MySpace Account.

Yes, I have a blog, and I like to make fun of people who hate blogs, and at the same time I like to make fun of people with MySpace accounts.

Like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds. I notice the simple minds tend to whine a lot, why don’t you cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it. I think the blog is an idea whose time has come…for those of us who don’t want to be told what to think. I don’t like MySpace. That’s just things the way they are.

And I gotta say, #7 just really speaks to me.

Part of the beauty of most web pages lies in the fact that you can be listening to some of your own music while you consume them. This is not the case with MySpace profiles–no, you’re the victim of whatever whims of shitty music the user has chosen for you. Sure, you can turn it off, but that’s after the ten minute load time.

Amen, sing it.

Other things that are good:

You know the fellas have had too much to say about the wedding…when…well, take a look.

Calvin has a thought that makes more sense to us grown-ups than it should…

And, in response to one of my favorite movie jingles, Brian Boitano responds.

Q9: It’s brought to your attention that “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are really evil overlords from a distant planet posing as irreverent cartoonists. What do you do?

BRIAN BOITANO: Ask them to take me to their planet.

Next up, IT Jargon You Love To Hate:

“Unique, first of its kind, leading provider of, infinitely scalable, aligning business with IT, revolutionary, breakthrough and any use of the word leverage,” says Don Jennings, a PR professional with Lois Paul and Partners in Boston, who chimed in with some of his favorite jargon that vendors should never use in a press release.

Damn straight.

The Blog That Nobody Reads

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

LogoWelcome to my humble blog. The FAQ will answer any questions that you…well actually, on this point I can’t make any sort of promise. The FAQ answers what it wants to answer and then it comes to an abrupt stop, without apology. What an impudent little FAQ. But nonetheless, if you’re wondering where you are and would rather spend a minute or two trying to find out, than navigating away with a simple mouse-click — the FAQ is the place to go.

This is The Blog That Nobody Reads. When it started, that was really true; now, it has something of a following, which is divided right down the middle. A large bulk of the audience thinks that’s a stupid catchphrase and urges me to drop it post haste, and the remainder finds it titillating. The consensus among them is they wish they had thought of it first. As if they were collaborating behind the scenes somewhere, they have all chosen to honor some strange virtual trademark thought to be registered to myself. Well…okay. The blogosphere, or some tiny portion of it, chooses to think of it as my brainchild. My intellectual property. Well, I think of myself as undeserving. I’m honored.

It’s not a tidbit of self-depcrecating humor; “The Blog That Nobody Reads” reflects intent, or to be more precise, lack of intent. We aren’t attention whores here. There is good reason why we are not. It hasn’t escaped our notice over the past several years, that some of the doctrines of belief most assured to draw attention to those who hold them, like moths to flame, are the ones that are wombat-rabies bollywonkers crazy. Silly, paranoid things. Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction and was completely harmless. President Bush knew that planes were about to be crashed into the World Trade Center and did nothing about it. There is no terrorist threat. Fire never melted steel before September 11, 2001. Violence is a direct and predictable result of poverty and hunger. Maybe you’ve heard this one lately: The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, the middle class gets “squeezed out.”

You know. Stupid, self-delusional crap, upon which no sane man would gamble anything important to him, under any circumstances. Forget his own testicles. Forget his limbs. Forget his children. Think of…the steam off his own excrement. Think of pocket lint. Ideas that aren’t even worth that. This is the nonsense under which people place their virtual signatures, when they whore for attention on the World Wide Web.

This is not just humorous and harmless. It ias actually terribly dangerous. You say crap to get attention — much sooner than you think it could possibly happen, the crap gets much, much crappier. And you start to believe it yourself.

We prefer to win that game by refusing to play. We say stuff, here, that makes sense. Stuff we believe. Stuff on which we would place bets.

And to ensure we remain firmly entrenched in that mode, we loudly announce — and celebrate — our complete apathy as to whether anybody is paying attention.

That is why we are The Blog That Nobody Reads.

It should be obvious by now, we do not mean this as a slight toward the people who do bother to read. We are grateful to all of them, and most especially, to our regulars whom we consider to be close friends. If there is a purpose to blogging, we consider this to be it: Making friends. Phil. Duffy. Good Lieutenant. The Bartender. Karol. Misha. Alan. Jeff. Rick. David. Daniel. John D. Infidel. “aup”. Most of these folks have me “blogrolled” or “sidebar’d” as something like “must-read” or “daily-read” or “better than the average blog” or some such. I wonder if they understand what a jaw-dropping and heartstopping compliment this is; words, as the saying goes, fail to express. And then there are the folks getting some kind of group-collaboration project off the ground, making me some unofficial “staff” type person. James. Mike. John Rambo. And, although he is much more a hero to me than any kind of real peer — Gerard, who in my eyes is some sort of living legend. If you were to thaw out a literary giant from the eighteenth century, and somehow coerce him into teaching you how to write, you’d have to adjust the advice to fit the twenty-first century. Gerard is here, now, for free, for the benefit of anyone who chooses to pay attention. He talks, I stop what I’m doing and I listen. To me, Gerard Van der Leun didn’t just hang the moon, he built it out of his own two hands and then he took up a great big machete and hacked out a place to put it. He doesn’t need to acknowledge me, I consider it an honor for which I’d pay richly, just to read his stuff.

And then…then, there is Buck.

Buck Pennington is an interesting case. His personality seems to have a lot in common with mine, except he’s an older retired fellow, with a military background, and interests in things that have not yet captured my attention, like photography. I see him as a true “peer,” sharing both my strengths and my weaknesses. I’ll leave that unexplored, since to graphically explore Mr. Pennington’s weaknesses seems to be an example of rudeness he does not deserve, nevermind that I share them; and to inventory our strengths, strikes me as a failure of modesty on my part. Suffice to say he matches me item for item in both columns. He’s always impressed me as an older “carbon copy,” like if I were to travel forward in time and visit myself, I should not be surprised to find something eerily close to him. But more to the point, his blog has become an interesting place to visit for anyone, whether you’re trading links with him or not. He’s nurtured a very pleasing balance between personal anecdotes, and unique viewpoints on the very latest news. I’ve watched his site slowly evolve into a place where I genuinely look forward to giving him a hit, without a thought about his Sitemeter traffic, just to find out what’s going on over there. If I don’t get around to it, the day is missing something. This is a real accomplishment in Bloggerland — the very highest. And I get the impression he’s doing all this without trying.

Buck has asked a question I think is interesting, and I hope a large number of bloggers take the trouble to try to answer it. The question is: How do you blog?

What if one percent of the blogosphere sat down and provided a thorough, honest answer? What if we had blogs a hundred years ago, and such an event took place? What an amazing book that would be. Think about it. HOw many episodes of “American Idol” would you sacrifice just to thumb through such a book, for thirty seconds or so?

What a fascinating book that would be.

Let me repeat. What a fascinating book. Here we are, and we have the chance to write such a thing. To write it. How lucky we are. What have you got going on, that truly deserves postponing such a thing, for even a minute. Really. Is it some sense of modesty? Surely you must understand, this doesn’t count. If you are a blogger, right now, in 2007, you are toiling away in the eye of a tempest that is sure to change the world. You think future generations care nothing about the thoughts between your left ear and your right one. Why do you think such a thing? What would you give to read what a person such as you, thought about things like this, a century ago?

You are — we all are — worth a great deal more than you think. It won’t hurt anything to take the time to jot things down.

So here’s my take.

To me, it starts with a vision. I write for a blog read by, in theory, nobody. So I’m not going to whore out my ideas, saying outlandish things just to get someone to write me up so I can appear in People Magazine. No, I’m just going to jot down my ideas. My reactions. Something happened, or someone said something about something that happened. I have a reaction, and I’m going to jot it down.

At this point, I should scribble down an example. I’ve got a great one in mind.

Barbra Streisand says we should all do our part to fight global warming by hanging up our laundry to dry in the breeze. I think she’s nuts. If I jot down that and nothing more, what I’m jotting down is simply…a vote. Some of us think Barbra Streisand is a real American icon, others of us think she’s a wonderful entertainer but her opinions aren’t worth squat. Still others of us can’t understand how she ever got to be famous in the first place. And others think she’s a craven hypocrite. I don’t think it does anyone any good to simply pick something out of that list, jot some words down around it, and move on. That would be silly. Other folks would agree, others would disagree…what’s the point? Someone coming along to tabulate everything? No, nobody’s doing any such thing.

So if there’s a purpose involved in reacting to Barbra’s statement, the purpose would have to do with exchanging ideas. First thought in my head is, is Barbra hanging up her own clothes. And if she isn’t, she’s a hypocrite. Okay, if I put that on the Internet, folks come by and read it. If they disagree, they have my e-mail address. That’s useful — perhaps there’s another angle to this, and I’ve neglected to consider it. Clearly, it’s far more productive, and a better discipline, to put my ideas out there where they can be seen by others, than to stew in my juices and just nurse vindictive feelings against some spoiled Hollywood starlet.

But a lot of the disagreement about Ms. Streisand has to do with values. If you think she’s a hypocrite, it’s unlikely a new piece of information can change your mind…and the same goes for the folks who think Streisand is some kind of modern-day Messiah. To them, she can say whatever she wants, get busted doing whatever she will…and her star will never lose any luster. It all has to do with personal values.

Which means if someone comes along, reads my stuff, and says “Right on!” — maybe they share some of my values. Maybe not. But they probably do. And if they take the time to write, then this is the beginning of what’s called a friendship. At least, most of the time.

Values are big with me. There are some folks who don’t share mine, there are others who do. I don’t think I’m in the minority quite yet. I don’t think my side is even headed there. Or maybe my side really is an underdog and I don’t know. Either way, I will say this — I do think people who have my values, need to stick together. Anybody who shares ’em, I’d like to know about them.

But I don’t have just moral values; I have intellectual values too. I think information should be handled a certain way. I think people who think and talk about what they think, have obligations to keep track of what they know and what they don’t. “Barbra Streisand is the worst sort of hypocrite” — of course I’m perfectly entitled to think that. I’m perfectly entitled to have that viewpoint without basing it on any facts. But at the same time, that would be wrong. If I think the lady is a hypocrite, I should say why. Or, at the very least, I ought to know. A real man thinks things, and he knows why he thinks the things he thinks. It’s as simple as that.

And so — pretty much just for the heck of it, you might say — I jot down what I think, and why I think the things I think. Most of the time I can’t prove the things that help me decide the things I think…most of the time, they are things I’ve been forced to conclude, based on what’s likely and what’s not likely. Proof is a luxury I don’t have. Life, you will find, is almost always like that. I would venture to say that over the last five years, we have seen this bite our own current President square in the ass. Sometimes, you don’t know a thing is so, but at the same time you don’t know it is not so. Sometimes — a lot of the time — a thing may very well be true and at the same time, it might not be true. And you are required to act on faith…and the best judgment you can muster. You are required to, in effect, gamble, whether you’ve a fancy for gambling or not.

I submit that this is what being a grown-up is all about. Doing what you want…or doing something in response to what you want to have going on, as opposed to what the evidence says is really going on…this is the domain of children. Grown-ups take in evidence, figure out what it means, and find a way to make the most of it, or to minimize the damage.

And so when I blog, all I’m really doing is opening up the hood on my grown-up engine, showing the workings as it spins away. What do I know? What do I not know? Based on what I know and what I do not know, what do I think about what is going on? And…based on what I think is going on, what do I want to do?

And this is why the blog is called House of Eratosthenes. This is why the logo of the site resembles a crude pictogram resembling a water well, with the midday sun shining through it all the way to the bottom. You see evidence of something — based on this, you devise an experiment, and you gather data from that experiment. Based on that data, you figure out what is going on. Eratosthenes himself did this, and figured out not only that the world was round, but exactly how round it was. With pinpoint accuracy, relatively speaking. That is what we try to do here. That is why we call ourselves House of Eratosthenes.

So when we blog here, we look through something…usually, although not always, the headlines in the news. Based on what is going on in the news, we form an argument. Not just the rustic definition of the word “argument,” but a composite thing that includes all of the vital elements. There are three such elements and here in The Blog That Nobody Reads, we call them the Vitals. We call them the First Triad of the nine Pillars of Persuasion, and you can follow the links to the glossary if you care to figure out what exactly they are.

Now, a lot of the time the navigation through the three pillars in the vitals, should be self-explanatory. That happens pretty frequently. In that case my own ramblings are decidedly second-rate on a scale of importance. In which case I say something like “Meh,” with a link to the story that I think is important. Posts like those are pretty short. I think of these kinds of posts as the very latest in bookmarking technology, and believe me since the Internet has come to be what it is, I’ve tried everything. I have recorded Internet addresses in text files. In Microsoft Word files. In Internet Explorer bookmarks. In Palm Pilot databases. They are all…each and every one of them…just like pieces of precious driftwood that I spot, as I float on down the river that is cyberspace, in some virtual canoe. If the driftwood is worth something, I must haul it aboard, or at the very least capture the place where I spotted it.

I think it’s fair to say at this point — no device, save for the humble blog, has worked out for me.

I create a post that says “Look at what this asshole said,” or “Pffft,” or “Geez!” or — something that has an amazing essay written around it. And from that day forward, I have it. Years later, I may look for it…and, one way or another, I’m going to find it. I can’t honestly say that about the text files or the Word files or the Palm Pilot database records.

Mmmmkay, there we have another reasons why we are The Blog That Nobody Reads. If nobody reads us, we still have a purpose. Through blogging, we manage to remember things…things we’ve not managed to remember any other way. Not long-term.

But that is how we record bookmarks. Sometimes…the post you’re reading now, case-in-point…we opine at great length. Tediously. I have been instructed to believe this has no value to anyone, anywhere, at any time. And yet I can’t help noticing — when people “grab” my stuff, give me credit for it, post it someplace where it receives significant attention — some might say an amazing, spellbinding level of attention — they don’t grab the nibbles. They don’t grab the tidbits. They grab the monster essays.

Buck wants to know how I, or rather we, blog. I am going to have to assume he’s asking about the monster essays. Nobody has anything good to say about my monster essays, but that is what people capture. That is what they link.

How does the House of Eratosthenes…The Blog That Nobody Reads…put together a Godzilla-sized essay. Actually, it takes no effort at all. I wish it did.

Good manners dictate that I skip over the first third of it. I have my baggage from the past; my inner demons. Little bits of myself, that aren’t completely at peace with other bits of myself…we should leave it at that. Lying in a peaceful slumber in the middle of the night, intertwined with the body of a woman who is far too good for me but who nonetheless spends her time in my company, now and then I become conscious of the demons churning away. Ghosts of persons no longer with us, some of whom I knew intimately, some of whom were mere strangers, all of whom I should have treated better than I did, and are now gone forever. Like Scrooge, I rise in the middle of the night and I’m unable to lie still. And eventually I stumble out of bed, my body weary but my mind on fire.

Perhaps the dead are visiting me in my dreams, and I can’t remember. But it is two in the morning, and a gorgeous naked woman is slumbering in the next room, richly deserving of my embrace until the eastern horizon turns orange. She deserves this, and I long to give it to her, but on occasion I cannot. Simply put, it is a case of insomnia. A bad one. I don’t like it. I’m trying to make a life with someone, who is ready to make a sacrifice I cannot match. I think she understands this, and I think she is hoping one day I will be able to do what I currently cannot. Tomorrow is another day. For now, I am wide awake, and it is two in the morning…

This is how I write. There is the matter of tools I use. There’s an awful lot of stuff going on in the world, and not a day passes by where something important hasn’t clicked, somewhere, or at least someone really important has said something revealing. We have people who track that stuff, and it’s a full-time job. Granted, the fact that collectively they end up doing it very badly, is what gives the humble blog a purpose. But the fact remains. It is a full-time job. I don’t have time for it all.

So I have to find a way to filter through it, making sure I don’t pluck out a few little dirt clods out of the pile and leaving the gold nuggets untouched. So I have a “big queue” and a “little queue,” the latter being a filtration of the former. You get to read the more elite, pristine one. The larger queue is the rough, unfinished stuff, the things I have time to scribble down just a one- or two-liner about, and consider at a later time for “publication.” This one is for my eyes only.

It must follow me wherever I go, so I use Google Documents for that. This has turned out to be a very helpful tool. The docs are web-based, they follow me around wherever I am, and they auto-save. So I have a large text document that is my scroll. Something interesting happens, I jot down a line about what it is, and save the link. Then I move on. This has been a life-saver, literally; it allows me to have a life.

How do I type in the stuff? There is a fellow at work named James whom I could most accurately describe as a grown-up hippie. Like me, he is a programmer. One day in the break room, he caught me and happened to make mention of this program called ConText. I’m using it to write this now; it is not a word processor, it is a programmer’s editor. You can get it here.

I start with the word wrap turned off. That way, every odd-numbered line is a paragraph, nevermind how long the paragraphs are. I write, and I write, and I write some more. YOu know the funny part of it? After I’m done writing, it’s like the blood rushes into a wholly different part of my brain lobes, from what was throbbing away while I was doing the writing. It’s as if I drifted off into a deep sleep, and Rumplestiltskin himself broken in and typed a bunch of crap, leaping out the window just as I woke up again. I swear, sometimes I’ll be reading my own stuff half-an-hour after I wrote it, and I’ll bust out laughing at a joke as if someone else wrote it. I honestly don’t understand it. It’s like some rejuvenated spirit of a long-dead ancient warrior took over my body and actually did the writing, while I did some more dozing.

And then, I hit Shift+Control+W to turn word wrap back on, and see the article the way my readers will see it. I add the links in. And then I add the pictures in. The pictures are no big deal, they’re hosted through ImageShack — and then they’re imposed over the text through simple HTML 3.0 commands. That’s it.

You see, there really isn’t much more to it than that. I’m just some guy who writes stuff, who knows what he knows and knows why it is that he knows it. Zoning out, as if he were strung out on acid or something. But not. Just rattling away on his girlfriend’s wireless keyboard, buck-ass naked, while she slumbers away buck-ass naked in a warm bed where my buck-ass naked body should be. And will be, at about three-o’clock. But for now, it’s only one-thirty. It’ll be light outside in a few hours, and the mad dash will be on to drag my ass into work in a frantic dog-eat-dog data center environment.

For now, though, things are relaxed. Things are clear. Tortured, yes…I am haunted by ghosts. Things I wish I had done differently. I am indebted to persons living and dead, but at least I have some sense of perspective. As the sun swings freely of the horizon in a few hours, I will lose that perspective and I will no longer be tortured. Life will, once again, redefine itself as an endless, pointless, wait in line at the local Starbuck’s. For the time being, although I am awake and I know I should not be, and sin hangs around my neck like a dead albatross, and in my own way I am tortured like Prometheus upon the rock, at least I understand the debt I owe to persons no longer with us. I see things as they really are. In twelve hours, I will be filing out of cubicle-land, with nine hours of flourescent lights absorbed in my body. Life, then, will achieve maximum distortion — it will look like a journey to a grocery store with a shopping list, and events leading up to that. That’s half a day from now. For now, I understand perspective. I understand people laid down their lives, so that I could live, and have things, and I owe them a debt I can never repay. And I can only hope to begin to repay such a debt, by doing my bit to make sure the next generation, also, sees things as they really are. Twelve hours from now, that will be blurry and unclear. For the time being, things are very, very clear. Painfully so.

I might as well write about it.

That’s all.

I am e-mailing this to some of you. I’m thinking if you were to forward it on to someone else who blogs, nothing bad could come from it, and perhaps something wonderful, will. How about give it a try?

Buck’s V-Strom

Wednesday, April 11th, 2007

V-StromKeep an eye on my blogger friend Buck in the days ahead. Lucky bastard is living out the fantasy we all have.

I’ll be on the two wheels soon. I’m really super-serious about it this time. This year, or maybe worst-case scenario sometime next year. I really want something with four cylinders, which isn’t in style right now. Trying to find a way to capitalize on that. The VMAX looks really nice, but lately I discovered BMWs aren’t nearly as pricey as I thought. I’ve always loved the sound of a BMW engine, and the customers seem very pleased. I’ve got time to make up my mind.

Meanwhile, Buck takes delivery today or tomorrow, he said.

Worlds Collide

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007

This is very interesting. I wish Sacramento Bee Public Editor Armando Acuna had put a more surgically-precise cut in his definition on things. Not that I think he’s completely wrong. It’s clear he disagrees with John Hughes, with whom I’ve been corresponding here & there, and I’m in the middle of these positions. Some areas I agree with Acuna, some other areas I agree with Hughes.

But although Acuna is using a sledgehammer where a scalpel would be a better tool, it’s interesting reading.

This is at the junction where ink-on-paper journalism intersects with the blogosphere.

The inevitable collision leaves a messy entanglement of journalism ethics and standards, of tried-and-true past practices versus the Internet’s frenetic and often anonymous ethos.

At curbside, there is also plenty of hand-wringing among newspaper managers and editors as they ponder a path to a new future without benefit of a map.
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Hughes tracks 309 regional blogs through his personal blog at www.ipsosacto.com.

Typically, the paper publishes excerpts from three to four blogs.

Recent musings have ranged from a lament about old midtown houses tagged with graffiti to the emotions of someone helping a homeless Davis man to a chat about a regional transit tax to the vagaries of finding a human skeleton outside Sutter’s Fort.

“I’m here! I’m busy! I can’t find more than two minutes to update! I miss you all! I love exclamation points! I have to find some extra time in the day! Eeek!

“OK. Morning caffeine all used up. *bangs head on keyboard*” wrote the blogger at wickedsmaht.vox.com, who, like all the other bloggers published, is identified no further.

And that’s where a collision occurs.

“I do not understand why The Bee publishes these items without attribution; that is, these are the only items in the Forum section without a (name),” wrote reader Gerald O’Connor of Sacramento. “A Web site citation doesn’t count. When I go to check on the blogs to find out who the writer is, I am unable to find a name. Have we gone from anonymous sources to anonymous contributors? I can’t get a letter published in The Bee without my name.”

Yeah, point made. Speaking as one of the 309, I do have to admit some blogs can get awfully silly — and many’s the blogger who has been caught bloviating about his reasons for not blogging too much lately, providing a greater supply of such information than could ever be associated with a commensurate demand. As far as the next notch up on the scale of relevance, opining “such-and-such irritates me, am I the only one?” Acuna’s point remains equally relevant, and perhaps even more. Let’s say an anonymous blogger finds Hillary Clinton irritating — clearly, it means a lot more if the blogger is a disinterested observer, or a passionate Clinton fan, than if he’s a life-long Republican. We probably want to know what the situation is before reading further.

On the other hand, you know…four times out of five, the blogger will go ahead and provide that information anyway, albeit without the much-sought-after individual name. Yeah, the information is still on the honor system. Yeah, we still don’t know that blogger personally. But how much do we know about our journalists?

And when our journalists have a political bias, are they well-known for disclosing that information to us?

Well look. I don’t want to exacerbate the situation any…my name is Morgan Freeberg and everything about me that has to be known, is in the FAQ. On the other hand, I do realize there are bloggers who really are anonymous, and this is what inspires the problems Acuna intends to address. I do get that.

This thing about anonymity, however, fails to culminate in anything meaningful unless the blogosphere enjoys a monopoly within the industry of printing silly, useless things. It does not. And I don’t wish to bash The Bee here. It’s outside the scope of the point I want to make to go hunting for ridiculous items in the pages of The Bee. If I need to support my point, I could do it by citing…uh, let’s say, morning news programs. A horny and confused wild turkey attacked a fire hydrant, or an enormous sheepdog has adopted a cute baby squirrel.

This is more worthy of our attention than a blog because of “journalistic standards” and “ethics”? I think not.

His column does identify an important problem. But it’s not his place, or The Bee’s, to solve it. It’s something decided by each inividual reader. You read a story about “key Republican senators speaking out against President Bush’s plan in Iraq” — you’ll probably need a blog. Savvy news readers understand, by now, that “key Republican senators,” where criticism of the President is concerned, is a synonym for Chuck Hagel. The mainstream news hasn’t exactly been forthcoming about things like this, and by engaging in this and other similar sneaky tricks, they’ve given the blogs legitimacy and a real sense of purpose. The fact of the matter is, if you consume news by glancing at the front page, gulping the rest of your coffee, smooching your wife and running off to work — you don’t know nuthin’. That’s just the way things are.

Blogs are needed. The bloggers may be creating questions about the security of the print- and electronic-news industries…but those industries are doing it to themselves.

Now, in the “being what I myself criticize” department…the reason I haven’t been blogging much lately, is. Well. The fact of the matter is, my blog is a castle built on the sand of my own insomnia. My gal and I have been taking extraordinary steps to deal with my insomnia. And they’ve been working. We’ll find a way to keep the blog updated sometime down the road, I’m sure. For now, this “sleep” thing you normal people do from time to time, feels pretty good.

Don’t Hire Bloggers?

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

Heh. Well, there’s a certain logic to it I must admit. And yet I have to wonder. Any employer who figures this out from a magazine article, said magazine article, itself, figuring it out from John Edwards’ little problems in the Spring of 2007…how long would they have been able to meet the payroll in the first place? Not exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer.

Act One: In early February, the John Edwards campaign announces the hiring of two writers, Amanda Marcotte and Melissa McEwan, both fairly well-known in the hothouse world of political Web sites. Liberal bloggers swoon at this Web-savvy move by the erstwhile vice-presidential nominee, not to mention the attention paid to liberal bloggers.

Act Two: Persons unfriendly to Edwards quickly unearth blog entries written by the women at their personal sites before joining the campaign, which strike some observers as anti-Catholic screeds, and others as typically scabrous blog commentary. The story of the politically incorrect bloggers spreads from the Web to the traditional press; hay is made by political pundits. Edwards distances himself from the statements but does not fire Marcotte and McEwan.

Act Three: Marcotte and McEwan resign in order to halt the barrage of hostile e-mail and blog-posts, and to stop the bleeding for Edwards. Anyone familiar with the long memory of search engines and the gaffe-phobic culture of political campaigns wonders, what was the Edwards camp thinking? How could it have been caught so flat-footed by the inevitable reaction to the very public opinions of its staffers? It’s not as if this scenario is new anymore: In 2004, the John Kerry campaign Web site killed links to other blogs after critics pointed to the incendiary words of one of the linked bloggers, Markos “Daily Kos” Moulitsas.

The Edwards campaign is close-mouthed about the details of the whole affair, including the internal politics of the hirings and departures, as are Marcotte and McEwan. But at least some lessons are clear, for campaigns as well as companies that allow people to blog (or that hire people who may blog): Google is forever, so you need to know what your people have said in the past and be prepared to answer for it.

Gee, I’m a blogger who likes to work. So maybe my personal biases are at work here. But I think this is retarded. If there’s one thing to be learned from the Edwards affair it’s this: politicians who want to be provocative and smarmy, are no longer able to choose the audience in front of which they provoke and smarm. Thanks to the search engines, they put on their show in front of everybody or they don’t do it at all. That’s a good thing.

Think on it for just a second or two. It’s obvious. Without the massive memory of the innernets, John Edwards would have put Marcotte and McEwan front-and-center during his speeches to Move-On-Dot-Org, and then he would have turned around and buried them deep when addressing…not just Catholics…but any religious institution at all. And he would have gotten away with it. Thanks to Yahoo and Google, those days are over, or are on their way to being over.

Frankly, I wouldn’t mind seeing Ziff Davis eat a little crow over this one. Hey all you other bloggers. ZD thinks you are just like Amanda Marcotte. Is that an unfair characterization? I’d love to see them come out and say so.

Memo For File XL

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

A couple of weeks ago the Dean’s World blogger, Dean Esmay, laid down a law. It was a new Anti-Islamophobe policy. And for the new policy he drew inspiration from a “Line in the Sand” drawn by William F. Buckley at the National Review half a century ago:

Back in the 1950s William F. Buckley Jr. conducted a purge in the ranks of his young publication, The National Review. He was running a conservative publication at a time when conservative publications were not respected and were thus by nature low-circulation. In those circumstances it would be hard to stand on principal and refuse to associate with certain parties who might provide short-term gain.

Buckley refused to align his publication with elements on the right that were excessively hateful, rabidly racist, or just plain nuts. The whole thing came to a head when Buckley one day drew a line in the sand:

You could either be a John Birch Society supporter, or you could write for the National Review.

One or the other. “Both” was not an option.
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…having wearied of fighting constantly against Islamophobic fools on Dean’s World and other places, only to have people ridiculously deny the very possibility that there could be any such thing as Islamophobia even when the evidence is presented them full in the face, I’ve decided to draw a similar line in the sand:

You can be an Islamophobe, or you can contribute to Dean’s World. You cannot do both.

This is meant for front-page contributors, submitters, or even commenters. It is time for you to make a choice, and to live by that choice. Because I certainly intend to.

Simply put, you must agree to all of the following assumptions:

1) Islam does not represent the forces of Satan or the Anti-Christ bent on destruction of the Christian world.

2) There is no 1,400 year old “war with the West/Christianity” being waged by Muslims or anyone else.

3) Islam as a religion is no more inherently incompatible with modernity, minority rights, women’s rights, or democratic pluralism than most religions.

4) Medieval, anachronistic, obscure terms like “dhimmitude” or “taqiyya” are suitable for polite intellectual discussion. They are not and never will be appropriate to slap in the face of everyday Muslims or their friends.

5) Muslims have no more need to prove that they can be good Americans, loyal citizens, decent people, or enemies of terrorism than anyone else does.

Is this a test of “ideological purity?”

Why yes. Yes it is.
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Criticism is fine. Intellectual argument is fine. Traditionalist moral arguments are fine. But I will not provide a forum for haters or paranoids.

I’m done. Islamophobia has no more place in polite society than any other form of irrational hatred, and I will no longer be any part of hosting discussions or “debates” with Islamophobes.

I learned about this from His Royal Majesty, and it’s an interesting phenomenon to watch, although certainly by no means anything untested. Nowadays, anytime the ideological purists erect their guardrails of ideological purity, the first trailheads to be sealed off are the ones leading to something that someone somewhere can call “hate.” The ideological purists, then, block off all the other trailheads later. Until purity is achieved.

This Bullet #2 in Dean’s “Line” has caused a lot of discussion; one gains the impression, the discussion exceeds whatever Dean himself had in mind about it. FIAR at Radioactive Liberty enjoyed fisking this one immensely, it seems:

Uh, be sure to send a copy of the memo to the Islamic Republic of Iran, Hamas, Hizbollah, Islamic Jihad, the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, etc. I’m pretty sure they missed the memo. I think you should also send a BCC to the Marines so that they can play whack a muj by listening for the sound of explosive laughter.

It’s caused quite the controversy. Frank J is disturbed. Misha says, “Enjoy your echo chamber.” His own wife is glad she’s not a contributor, or she would be out. Contributor Ron Coleman says Buh-Bye now. It’s odd that an Orthodox Jew might be troubled, isn’t it? Contributor Kevin Dombrowski is out too. Contributor Mary Madigan compares him to Maoists.

The forementioned Rosemary The Queen provides the most entertaining response, I think:

I’d certainly not be welcome here any longer. Dean’s line in the sand is one that I would stomp all over, if, I were still an active contributor here.

Dean is welcome to make all the rules he wants but I don’t like echo chambers. There can be no debate if everyone agrees. What’s the friggin’ point? Does it make me an Islamophobe to notice that people who strap bombs on themselves in the name of Allah are … muslim? Well, tough crap. I’m NOT BLIND. Does that mean I think all muslims are bad? No. But there are some problems in the muslim world and it doesn’t make me a racist to say so.

I have a problem with all of Dean’s assertions. My problem is the fact that we are being blackmailed into accepting his edict. Well, I won’t be browbeaten into “acceptance”, I like to think for myself and make my own decisions. Demanding that I accept his edict on Islam is not gonna happen. I won’t be told what to do or believe, that’s why I quit being a Democrat. And if I were still a major writer here, I’d quit too.

Anyone who wants to debate without having to swallow what Dean’s serving is welcome at The Queen of All Evil or as I have been affectionately dubbed, the Queen of the Banned.

And on her own resource linked above, she opines against one of the sub-edicts in particular, with no small amount of solid justification for doing so.

Well, I have a big problem with #3 and I would like to thank Saudi Arabia’s latest decision for spelling it out so clearly.

A 19-year-old Saudi woman who was kidnapped, beaten and gang raped by seven men who then took photos of their victim and threatened to kill her, was sentenced under the country’s Islamic-based law to 90 lashes for the “crime” of being alone with a man not related to her.

Well, most ancient religions are well versed in the ideals of the 21st century. Till, Islam catches up, #3 is a big FUCKING JOKE. I’m also pretty sure that no ancient religion currently hangs gays for being gay, either… cough Iran cough.

But for sheer quality and educational value, nothing beats Ron Coleman’s essay on the subject.

I was very inclined to wait this out, but then in the comments someone raised the issue of “Galileos” on the masthead. I don’t want it to be inferred that in order to have access to this platform — which I value highly, as Dean knows well — I am going along with what are arguably controversial propositions. I think Dean is grossly oversimplifying the issue, one of the most important and controversial in the world today. I think, for what it’s worth, that he’s doing so because of a powerful inclination he has to do the right thing, especially by underdogs.

Why he thinks Muslims are underdogs in this time (and place), as I have said before, I do not know. I’ve been a little annoyed by the suggestions that as a Jew, I should be the one to be most sympathetic to the plight of the oppressed Muslim, which frankly I believe is preposterous. As a Jew I am the number-one guy in the gunsight of the oppressed Muslim, just because of who I am. Not every Muslim kills Jews, but in my lifetime no one has killed as many Jews as Muslims. I won’t have my view of what that implies about Muslim civilization dictated to me by anyone.

Just as Dean has certain things that he’s really picky about, I do too. And number one is being told. Tied for number one is cowardice. Those are my lines in the sand.

So by drawing his line in the sand Dean has forced my hand. Not because I’m an “Islamophobe.” My way of life as a strictly orthodox Jew has more in common with that of religious Muslims than Dean’s does, and then some. But I won’t be cornered this way. It’s a bit of a precedent issue — where will Dean draw the next line? I don’t want to find out or to worry about it.

Well, speaking for myself I think folks are being a bit tough on Dean. Dean didn’t invent this practice of Clean Thinking, and he will not be the last to practice it. He’s just the latest example of someone who thinks it’s a swell idea.

Trouble with it is, it’s antithetical to “learning” in the strictest definition of that word. It justifies itself, not by providing an alternative avenue by which information may be acquired, but by declaring itself a scourge of hate. So by its own foundation it provides a choice: You may learn, or you may abjure hatred. And then, it foresakes the first of those two, and demands all others do the same.

But it never seems to stop there, does it? Once you refuse to learn things because you’re afraid of what you might learn — you have to continue honoring that taboo. It’s an all-or-nothing proposition. A new piece of information might make you hateful…or protestant…or agnostic…or gay. You risk becoming tomorrow, things you are not today, and don’t want to be today. This kind of risk is what learning is all about. And so, in the same manner you may “guarantee” no car will run you over, if you simply resolve to stay in your house all day long…you’re assured you will cling to the same values everlastingly, so long as you refuse to learn new things. The only catch is this: There can be no exceptions. It’s a “needle and balloon” situation. No room for moderation.

Can’t be half-a-dimwit, or the formula doesn’t work.

As far as those with a sincere desire to exchange ideas, I think the Queen of Evil said it best. “There can be no debate if everyone agrees. What’s the friggin’ point?”