Archive for January, 2010

Ticking Time Bomb

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

FrankJ talks some more about his wonderful world:

This blog post was written in real time.
Barack Obama walked into the Oval office and turned on the lights. He then heard the door slam behind him. He turned around to see a grizzled-looking man. “Who are you?”

“Mr. President, I am former CTU agent Jack Bauer.”

Jack Bauer“Oh, thank me,” Obama sighed. “I thought you were a teabagger.”

“I’m here to tell you about a grave threat to this country.”

“Why did you have to sneak in like this? Couldn’t you have gone through official channels?”

“Sir, I didn’t have time.”

“Couldn’t you have texted me?”

“I didn’t have time — I’m really bad at texting. Takes me like ten minutes for a simple reply.”

“Then how do you update your Twitter feed?”

“Sir, we’re getting off topic. There is a threat to this nation from either nuclear or biological weapons… or possibly biological weapons that are radioactive.”

Obama gasped. “That sounds bad!”

“It is very bad, sir.”

“Any idea where this attack might take place?”

“Usually, terrorist attacks occur in the LA area, but that’s started to change in the past few years.”

Obama shook his head. “I don’t like going to LA; I always get attacked by cougars there.”

“I am not surprised. Anyway, to find the details on this attack, I need to use harsh interrogation techniques against a known terrorist we’ve detained. I wanted to get your permission for that.”

Obama thought for a moment. “Alright. If the situation is that dire, I’ll allow you to loudly shout at him.”

“Sir, this will take more than shouting.”

“You want to slap his belly? I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that.”

“I was thinking of a lot more than belly slapping.”

“If you’re suggesting waterboarding, there is no way I’m approving that.”

“Sir, I warm up with waterboarding.”

Obama frowned. “Torture is wrong; you are a bad man. This is why people like me hate America.”

“Sir, I know there is a lot of pressure on you as this nation’s third black president — and the first who isn’t a Palmer — and it has to be scary knowing the last half-dozen presidents all ended up either dead or in prison…”

“I’m hoping for prison!”

“We all are. Anyway, I know there must be a lot of pressure on you, and this must offend your sensibilities, but there is literally a ticking time bomb out there–”

“I would think time bombs these days would use digital timers.”

“Excuse me?”

“They would use digital timers, so there wouldn’t be any ticking. Thus you used the word ‘literally’ incorrectly. I’m very smart.”

“Sir, once again, I think you’re focusing on the wrong things. Tens of thousands of people could die unless I get the information out of that terrorist.”

“Well, Jack, tens of thousands of people die from car accidents each year, so I don’t know why you want me to get all worked up over that. Here’s what I’ll do, though. I’ll release a bunch of prisoners from Gitmo, and we’ll see if that will impress the terrorist enough to talk.”

“This is a man who thinks nothing of murdering children; I sincerely doubt he’ll talk out of the goodness of his heart.”

Obama rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know; you red-staters just want to hurt all the bad men and think that solves everything. Instead of torturing, though, have you ever tried to be his friend? Maybe give him a hug?”

“A hug will not do anything, sir.”

“Maybe you’re hugging wrong. Here, give me a hug so I can see how you’re doing it.”

“Mr. President, I never put my arms around another man without him ending up dead afterward.”

“I don’t think this conversation is going anywhere. Here’s what I’ll do for you, Jack: I’ll try to make sure you have a fair trial for even suggesting torture. I’ll probably have to make an example out of you, though; I don’t want the rest of the world thinking we let people like you still run around.”

The door opened and Joe Biden walked in. “Hey, I just wanted to–”

Bauer immediately got Biden in a choke hold and choked him unconscious.

“Hey! That was the vice president! And the doctors have already been saying he’s not getting enough oxygen to his brain!”

“I’m well aware of who he is, sir; I just didn’t have time to explain things to him.”

“What’s it with you and not having enough time? Sounds like you just need better time management.”

“I’ll take that under advisement. Anyway, I guess I’ll just have to pursue this without your permission. Before I go, though, I want to warn you that I think there is a mole in your administration undermining you from the inside.”

“Really? I thought that was just incompetence.”

Bauer thought about that. “Yeah, I guess that is the more likely explanation.”

Six Worst Bosses of All Time

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

Doing some “research” for the post immediately previous, I stumbled across this gem of a list.

So now maybe you’ll have those TPS reports done on time today?

Ten Awesome Villains From Literature and Screen

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

…mostly from screen, and the books are by Ayn Rand. No other writer of fiction, to my knowledge, had ever performed such a thorough job of identifying deleterious human traits in real life, and pouring out her soul onto the pages to showcase her antipathy toward them.

Since “awesomeness” here has to do with motivation, there are no Dragons here, only BigBads. BigBads plan, Dragons execute. There really isn’t much for the Dragon to do; just be sinister, memorable, scary, ruthless, chillingly competent in doing destructive things, and a little bit creepy. The BigBad assembles the story. And this is a science unto itself.

If it’s done right, a whole new type of BigBad is created. What follows is a roster of the exclusive club of guys who managed to ascend to that lofty height of badness. Rather odd that I couldn’t think of any gals.

So have a seat, Darth. This is all about the guy at the top.

1. Cardinal Richelieu in The Three Musketeers (I don’t remember which one)

I think it was Tim Curry in that otherwise-lackluster version from the nineties (although Charlton Heston’s version was far superior). There was this creepy scene in which the Cardinal brags, in private company, about being an atheist. Think about this: Using religion to control an entire country through its monarch, and privately, disbelieving. What a wonderful piece of bad-guy-definition, I still wonder if the filmmakers understood what they were doing.

2. Ellsworth Toohey in The Fountainhead

Enabler with a capital E. Everyone in proximity to him suffers and doesn’t see it happening. The film version didn’t quite capture this, and perhaps couldn’t have.

3. Robert Stadler in Atlas Shrugged

The successor to The Fountainhead did a fantastic job of “busting out” Toohey’s character into a whole bunch of people, each of which captured just a piece of the nastiness. Stadler’s role is one of Fallen Angel amongst the men of the mind: He used his individual gifts and intellect to figure out what was going on, and he figured out what was going on to figure out how his bread was buttered. So he sided with the looters. He used his intellect to determine his destiny, threw his lot in with those who would deny all others that very ability, and as a consequence, ultimately failed at this.

4. Noah Cross in Chinatown

“Reprehensible prick” doesn’t quite capture it, and is an insult to reprehensible pricks.

5. Jerome Lundegaard in Fargo

The “kinda sorta bad guy” who never really wanted any rough stuff to happen, has been a tired stock character at least since cheeseball 1970’s prime-time action teevee shows like “Charlie’s Angels,” to name just one example. Here it’s given a shot in the arm. He is, quite clearly, the architect of events, and his incompetence that allows them to spiral out of control is linked to his failure to understand the complexity of people. He somehow thinks he’s the only one on the planet capable of having a hidden agenda, and this is where everything starts to go sideways. Know anyone like this?

6. James Graham, Earl of Montrose, in Rob Roy

Lundegaard’s next step up. He knows he’s been snookered by someone; he’s figured out it is not Rob Roy, but his own subordinates Killearn and Cunningham who are up to shenanigans (William Hurt’s performance leaves a fantastic piece of ambiguity here, just ever-so-slight); and you can tell that, to whatever extent he’s figured out what’s going on, he just doesn’t give a damn. The theme that permeates throughout the movie has to do with honor, and it is made resoundingly clear, through the subtleties, that this man has absolutely none.

7. Edward Longshanks in Braveheart

Cunning, scheming, treacherous. Wounded by the knowledge that his son and heir is a complete failure in every way, taking it out against a country. This is what makes a great movie villain: That the motivation is there, but defined only suggestively, in light pencil. He’s never actually psychoanalyzed, it never gets preachy.

8. The Shark in Jaws

Imagine yourself on that boat. A side garnish for the fear you’re feeling, is the genuine sense of bewilderment that the shark is planning and executing this stuff, like a master general. Dammit, they’re just not supposed to be able to do that!

9. Khan Noonien Sing in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Because overacting is a huge plus when you’re the bad guy. And quoting Milton just makes it better. He almost fails the cut, because his motivation is so simplistic and let’s face it, “just revenge” has been done before. But among the movie villains motivated solely by revenge, who is the leader of the pack? Nero? Eh, no. It’s Ricardo The Great, and you damn well know it.

10. Rene Belloq in Raiders of the Lost Ark

This is a stroke of genius, having the villain do the psychoanalyzing. He does it to Indy in that bar, and then he does it to Col. Dietrich near the end. Really, everything else he does in the film is small potatoes. And think about it: If he didn’t do these two things, some of the greatness would have been lost. He possessed purpose in building other characters, and at the same time, he developed crucial events in the story by injecting uncertainty into the choices they had to make — which, in turn, was something that served his own interests.

Update: Finally thought of some ladies:

11. Lady MacBeth

In high school, you are taught that she is the archetype, and rightly so.

12. Mrs. Iselin

Yowzer. You’ll never watch a re-run of “Murder, She Wrote” the same way ever again.

Update: Really had to wrestle with the two winning performances by Ronny Cox in the classics that were made back when Verhoeven was great:

13. Dick Jones in Robocop

14. Villos Cohaagen in Total Recall

There will never be another Ronny Cox.

On the other hand, this is not about acting. It’s about bad guys who are so good that, through the definition of what motivates them, they make a whole new breed of bad guy. And these would ordinarily fail…

But Dick Jones is clawing to the top of an organizational structure which is currently under the leadership of Dan O’Herlihy’s character, “The Old Man.” The Old Man, in turn, is rather like a kindly version of Montrose. Lacking in character, knowing there is some skulduggery going on but not really giving a care. Jones is a jealous ankle-biter….which makes him scary, because he’s backed into a corner.

Cohaagen, at three points in Total Recall, pronounces that he alone knows all of what’s going on and therefore he alone is in charge of planning anything. This is an interesting variation of Lundegaard’s character. This guy wears the same horse blinders with regard to the complexity of others, but he knows he’s wearing them and he’s proud of it.

Brown, Brown, Brown, Brown…

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Senator Brown.

Hot Air

Anything can happen; a coming snowstorm could cool enthusiasm for Brown and blunt the big turnout he needs from independents, for instance, although right now that would appear to be more of a danger to Coakley’s diffident voters. But the broad range of polls all show Brown surging and Coakley stumbling. We’ll see whether that becomes reality in tomorrow’s definitive poll of Massachusetts voters, and whether the seat belongs to the people or to Washington DC.

MyFox Boston

A poll released a day before the special Senate race shows Senator Scott Brown surging to a double-digit lead over Attorney General Martha Coakley in the race for the open Massachusetts Senate seat.

Politico

A new InsiderAdvantage poll conducted exclusively for POLITICO shows Republican Scott Brown holding a 9-point advantage over Martha Coakley a day before Massachusetts voters trek to the ballot box to choose a new senator.

According to the survey conducted Sunday evening by the non-partisan firm, Brown leads the Democratic attorney general 52 percent to 43 percent.

Never Too Late to Right a WrongFive Thirty-Eight

The FiveThirtyEight Senate Forecasting Model, which correctly predicted the outcome of all 35 Senate races in 2008, now regards Republican Scott Brown as a 74 percent favorite to win the Senate seat in Massachusetts on the basis of new polling from ARG, Research 2000 and InsiderAdvantage which show worsening numbers for Brown’s opponent, Martha Coakley. We have traditionally categorized races in which one side has between a 60 and 80 percent chance of winning as “leaning” toward that candidate, and so that is how we categorize this race now: Lean GOP. Nevertheless, there is a higher-than-usual chance of large, correlated errors in the polling, such as were observed in NY-23 and the New Hampshire Democratic primary; the model hedges against this risk partially, but not completely.

Update 1/19/10:

Pic credit: TNOYF, via Gerard.

Wall Street Journal:

Whether or not Republican Scott Brown wins today in Massachusetts, the special Senate election has already shaken up American politics. The close race to replace Ted Kennedy, liberalism’s patron saint, shows that voters are rebelling even in the bluest of states against the last year’s unbridled pursuit of partisan liberal governance.

Yes, said “unbridled pursuit” has definitely been put to an inglorious end, inside of a year. The country has drawn at least one benefit from its decision to put the democrat party so decisively in charge of things, out of widespread contempt against the other guys: It knows, beyond the shadow of any doubt, what is in the heart of the democrats.

Their agenda is not good for the country and they damn well know it. With the competition effectively gelded, that’s the time to start sneaking around like they’ve never sneaked around before. Their behavior has been beneath abysmal. If the occasion was an invitation to attend a party, rather than to govern a country, their performance would be roughly akin to taking a colossal dump in the punch bowl.

No, wait. Worse than that; much worse. Taking said dump with everyone watching. Wiping with the living room curtains. And then telling everyone it’s a candy bar. And then getting pissed when all the other guests don’t simultaneously yell “Well okay then! Om nom nom nom!”

Spare a little wrath for the electorate though. Some forty-five percent of us would invite them to the party again, and are willing to brag about this. This should be somewhat like buying the National Enquirer, or ordering a penis enlargement device: No one will ‘fess up to having done it, but doggone it you just know someone somewhere must have.

Perhaps, by later this year when we elect a new Congress, the stigma really will be that thick. And stay like that for awhile.

Fifty Questions About Wonder Woman

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Before all the serious stuff starts with tomorrow’s election in Massachusetts…a little bit of fun, with the most poorly-defined super-hero, or heroine, ever. Whoever’s making the movie, you should come up with some solid answers to these before finalizing the script…

1. How long is her golden lasso, anyway? And its tensile strength?
2. Can she fly?
3. If she can, then what’s up with that invisible jet?
4. If she really does have a damn invisible jet, when she climbs into it, can people still see her?
Wonder Woman5. What if she tries to deflect a bullet and she misses? Can it break her skin then? Why bother then?
6. Does the bullet have to be subsonic in order for her to deflect it?
7. How strong is she? Is she something like five healthy women, or is she on a “planet-hurling Superman” scale?
8. Can she breathe in outer space?
9. If she can’t, can she survive in outer space with just an air supply, wearing that skimpy costume?
10. Speaking of the skimpy costume, can she really change her clothes by twirling around?
11. Is it a super-duper secret that she’s really Diana Prince?
12. If it is, then is it general knowledge within the Justice League or Justice Society?
13. Is she really 2500 years old?
14. Is she a virgin?
15. What’s her preference, anyway? Is she bi? Asex? Les? Hetero, but keeping herself chaste for someone?
16. Does she know lots of different languages?
17. Can she solve complex mathematical equations and problems involving physics?
18. Can she talk to animals?
19. Is she pro-choice? If so, how does she feel about partial-birth abortion? What if the “fetus” happens to be female?
20. Is her mother still alive?
21. Is she made out of something that resembles human flesh?
22. If so, does she ever tire out?
23. How about speed? Is she in the same class as The Flash?
24. If not, then is she at least a little quicker than a slightly-above-average normal woman?
25. Was she fighting Nazis in World War II?
26. If so, then is she fighting crime contemporarily (now)?
27. If yes to the above two, then has she been granted some kind of immortality? How much? Does she even know?
28. I read that she can withstand extreme temperatures. So she can go hiking on Mt. Everest in that teensy thing?
29. How about overheating? Can she burn? What if she gets dumped in that vat of steel that killed the Terminator?
30. What’s it like to be forced to tell the truth with that lasso? Is it agonizing? Because that would be really cool.
31. What exactly is Diana Prince’s job?
32. Can she go a very long time without sleep?
33. How high can she jump?
34. Does she really lose all her powers when she’s bound by a man?
35. If that’s the case, what happens when she’s bound by a woman?
36. What’s it called exactly? “Themiscyra,” “Lesbos” or “Paradise Island”?
37. Is it true she never left the place before her mother sent her to “Man’s World”?
38. If that be the case, then how’d she meet Alexander the Great? Julius Caesar? Hercules? All them guys?
39. Was she originally made of clay? Is that why she can wear short-shorts in outer space? Does she perspire?
40. Is she wearing Diana Prince’s makeup when she goes out fighting crime? Does she touch-it-up again when she’s done?
41. (Question #41 is redacted, being a real man I just don’t want to get into this stuff)
42. Are they real?
43. What exactly holds up that bustier?
44. Can her bracelets deflect a .44? A Desert Eagle .50? Artillery shell? RPG?
45. Does she have super-hearing? Telescopic vision? Can she listen to a man’s footsteps and tell what his eye color is?
46. Do her boots have high heels? If so, how fast can she run?
47. Now for the important stuff: Bare legs or hose?
48. Does she eat real food? Can she go a long time without eating? Does she have a normal heartbeat?
49. Does she retain her beauty-queen physique if she wolfs down ten six-dollar burgers at Carl’s Jr.?
50. Does she carry any money with her? Where exactly?

“When We Allow Freedom Ring, When We Let It Ring…From Every State and Every City…”

Monday, January 18th, 2010

The speech contains, by my count, twenty mentions of the word “freedom” and five instances of the word “free.”

I propose we celebrate this man’s great dream, by measuring our current leaders according to this standard. With an open mind, let us gauge their appreciation, or lack thereof, of this concept of a very basic human birthright.

Freedom, to me, is when you’re doing something someone else does not like. Someone rich. Someone powerful. Someone well-spoken, who can talk to a crowd and really get it all stirred up and excited. When that person loathes what you are doing or saying, and you’re allowed to keep right on doing it anyway, then you are free.

If this is not possible, for whatever reason, then you are not.

Let us celebrate Martin Luther King’s birthday with a clear and honest inspection of the job we have done, as a society that calls itself free, adhering to and fulfilling his vision.

Two Issues Working For Scott Brown

Monday, January 18th, 2010

And they’re both local issues:

On health care, Massachusetts is in a unique position. It already has near-universal coverage, enacted in 2006 by Republican governor Mitt Romney and the Democratic legislature, so a national measure designed to extend coverage to millions of currently-uncovered Americans means little to Bay State residents. But the Democrats’ national health care plan would force Massachusetts residents to pay higher taxes to expand coverage elsewhere in the country — with relatively little new benefits at home.

“In this state, we basically have universal health care,” says Joey Buceta, a Boston independent who attended a Scott Brown rally in the North End Friday. “Why should we pay more money for it? We already have it.”

It’s an opinion heard often in this race, and it unites conservative voters who don’t like the Democratic national health care plan because it is too intrusive, expensive and coercive with independent voters who don’t like the plan because it seems redundant for Massachusetts.
:
On the second issue, one-party government, Massachusetts is also in an unusual position. Often called the bluest of blue states, it is certainly dominated by Democrats. But over the years Massachusetts voters have shown an inclination to elect a Republican to the occasional state office.

That balance has usually meant a GOP governor; four of the last five Massachusetts governors have been Republicans. At the same time, the rest of the state government, as well as the state’s delegations in the House and Senate, have been dominated by Democrats. But even with that lopsided situation, the presence of a GOP governor gave voters a certain sense of balance.

Now, even that is gone. Not only are all other significant state offices occupied by Democrats, the governorship is in the hands of the very Democratic, very liberal, and very unpopular Deval Patrick.
:
“This country was built on debate,” says Diane Anderson, a Brown voter from Swampscott, Massachusetts. “And with the Democrats having 60 senators…just for that fact alone, if for no other reason, we should continue to have debate, and Brown will bring debate, being the 41st Republican.”

Here’s the challenge that confronts Republicans…hopefully: How to properly celebrate if Brown should win. Lots of realistic types are out there urging caution — he might very well lose. They’re right. But the wise Republican also thinks ahead to the other prospect, because careful planning is needed there. With defeat, the only thing that can really ambush them is an emotional letdown, and emotional letdowns become part of history very quickly.

Think ahead. Brown wins — then what? If these two pivotal factors that pushed Brown over the top are both local to the Bay state, how does that get spread all across the fruited plain, sea to shining sea, later in the year? This is the real challenge. Failing that, the attitude in November will be “well now that they’re being checked by the 41st vote in the Senate…democrats are alright. Hopenchange.” And we’ll be right back to letting the kids run the show.

The treachery in which the democrats have engaged for this last year, is the deceit ritually practiced by bad salesmen. They knew exactly what they wanted to sell, and when the dispassionate observer compares that product to what the public really needed and desired, it is charitable to call the resulting mathematical overlap “skimpy.” The overlap was not there at all. In the case of solving our rising public debt problem, it was oppositional — the prescription exacerbated the sickness.

Superpower nations in serious financial trouble don’t need womb-to-tomb government health plans. That’s just plain common sense.

And you go right on down the list of things Obama has promised and delivered…which means, the list of things He has promised. It’s all like this. Problem: The world doesn’t like us, supposedly. Solution: Try Kalidh Shiek Mohammed in a civilian court in New York City. Okay, now how’s that work exactly?

That’s what needs to be pointed out, should things go okay tomorrow night. Martha Coakley lost in Massachusetts for a reason, and the reason was that the democrat party has its agenda, and it bears precious little resemblance to the country’s. When the democrat party “loves America,” they love America the way a man loves his raven-haired wife he didn’t really want to marry in the first place, fantasizing about his buxom blond girlfriend in high school every time he makes love to her. They love the country the way a prospective buyer loves your car…when he’s planning to rip the stereo out of it, put it in something else, and send the balance of what’s left to the wrecking yard. They love our country for the vision of this otherworldly utopia they can make from it, after they’re done changing it, dismantling it. They love everything about it except its spirit, the spirit of 1776.

That’s why we just finished out our first year listening to them make as many speeches as they want to make, for as long as they want to make them — and the word “freedom” was never uttered a single time. Did I miss it somewhere?

That is the third issue that can be nationalized, and the time is right for it.

Spandex Season, 2010, Opening Day

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

The Trek 7300 and I were here when I was about to grab my chest and keel over. That’s alright, it just shows I’m pushing the envelope. What’s not all right is that I was 16 miles into my ride. Sixteen…miles…this is beneath pathetic. This is nothing. It is some one-quarter of the distance I’ve gone before. What is this, Christmas “gift wrapping” that needs to be unloaded from my gut and derriere?

Well, perhaps I’d know better if I had more experience with slime tubes. This is the first time I wore one out; it’s lasted me pretty well. I think I snapped it up sometime in August, July maybe. I inflated it at 17 miles according to my bike computer, and at 22 miles I had to inflate it again. Okay, the tube’s gunnybags. And the slimy insides seem to have turned to a green liquid, which further implies impending retirement and decrepitude.

Someone sold me a 43mm tire to fit on a 35mm rim. Said it would work out fine. I can’t remember who this shyster is…but it is now a chiseled-in-granite article in my faltering encyclopedia of bike knowledge, that this is not fine. I just got done staring at the Kevlar bands that were visible to the naked eye…all the way around the rim, 360 degrees, where rubber meets metal. It was clear the fabric was not intended to be bent this way.

Herein lies the appeal. I am not, contrary to what some have said, a “lover of bicycle riding.” It fucking hurts. But the culture in which we live is becoming so anesthetized, that there aren’t that many opportunities left to live & die by your ability to perceive things, and think about what they mean. It’s a puzzle, filled with parts that work or do not work. One must sit in judgment of each of them, and it is not a kid’s game, one must do this competently if one wants to live long enough to reach home again.

The slime tube, I think, should be declared a success overall. You can neglect the thing, and if it’s more-or-less whole, it will keep the pressure. The tire on the other hand is a huge fail. Of course, I had spare tubes — of course! — but spare tubes don’t help you much out there if your tire is killing your tubes.

Another lesson learned is to keep the ear bud charged up. Kid called. Girlfriend called. Kid called. Girlfriend called. We-ell…I spent about six or seven hours out there, and covered a piddly little 25 miles. Felt like I should be checked into intensive care when it was done. I’ve covered between 60 and 70 before, and came out of it in much better shape. You know…still in the mode of “don’t anybody look to me to do anything for the rest of the day,” which is to be expected.

But not “OMDFG I gotta collapse and take a nap or else I’m gonna fucking die.”

I think my equipment needs an overhaul from stem to stern. I know it makes an enormous difference. And I’m not that fat. Yet. I don’t think.

Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself… XXVI

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

All the news worth printing over the last month or so (minus the Haiti thing), distilled down into a single brief paragraph from Gabriel Malor at Ace of Space HQ:

…Democrats just aren’t that excited about this election. Martha Coakley is a certified idiot. And as much as Obama wants something — ANYTHING — with the words “Health” and “America” to pass Congress, not even the Democrats are excited about the Senate or House versions of healthcare reform. Second only to the Christmas Day attack, the dominant news story since Christmas has been how much the Senate hates the House version; how much the House hates the Senate version; and how much Democratic constituents hate both. Game over, man.

Now here’s something I did say…over at the place of the purse-dog-obsessed Gerard Van der Leun, who was asking the entirely legitimate question: What if Obama does fail? I recall wearing my “Hope He Fails” tee shirt out to dinner to meet an old acquaintance and his O-worshipping wife, who was aghast at my attire. Naturally, she thought I wanted the country to fail. Well, I’m not buying the O-worship. I see the logic. If Obama succeeds, the country fails, and vice-versa. She, in turn, was not seeing that. So……subject change. And no, dinner was not unbelievably awkward. The most unpleasant thing that happened was that my ol’ roomy really didn’t like his prawns-scallops-and-cayenne dish. The political-opinion-differences didn’t enter into it. That’s the way it works in mature-adult-land. We get past that stuff.

The dish, for what it’s worth, was cooked expertly IMO. But I don’t think it belongs on a restaurant menu, no. It’s really an acquired taste. If you appreciate the way seafood, red pepper and lime mix together, you’d love it. To most people it’s like gulping orange juice in the morning right after brushing your teeth and gargling minty mouthwash. And I’m on that side.

Wow, that was a bunny trail.

Back to the subject at hand: Gerard was asking where the country is if Obama fails. And if we do want Obama to fail, shouldn’t we at least put some thought into this before we wish too hard. That’s a good point. My response:

Forty-four men have taken the oath of office of President in Obama’s universe; in mine, only forty-three, which is almost as many.

Of those, it is fair to say at least two-thirds were placeholders. Say what you want for-or-against Reagan, Clinton and GWB, but all three of them distinguished themselves in office. They were definers. (“Bush Pere” I would categorize as falling somewhere on the wall that separates the two halves I’m talking about.)

We have been incredibly fortunate these last thirty years to see what real Presidents do. It’s just time for a milquetoast, in fact we’re overdue. Law of averages. We’ll survive it.

By the way, I know you’re just asking a sincere question and trying to get a decent answer. But you’ve inadvertently supplied a perfect definition for the word “Obama” in the generations ahead of us. Somewhat synonymous with “seagull manager.” All hat no cattle. Post turtle. An ultimately unfortunate soul who talks a good game, fulfills the writ of the Peter Principle in grand style, and ends up with vastly more power and authority than he was ever intended to have. If I may be allowed to inject just one more hackneyed metaphor — the dog that finally caught the car.

People who wanted the job, and once they got it just ended up in the way, well be told to “Quit Obama-ing!”

If you’re American and you’re under thirty, you haven’t had a President Millard Filmore or Chester Alan Arthur in your lifetime. And back in their day, they were just filling out a consecutive, contiguous parade of phone-it-in presidents. That’s how it was done. The trend was unbroken save for Abraham Lincoln and, if you’ve done your research and concluded favorably, perhaps Grover Cleveland and Ulysses Grant. From 1837 to the end of the century it was just one long string of duds.

This is my hope for Barack Obama: To be a one-term, modern-day Martin van Buren. That’s how He can do the least amount of damage. And the evidence of my senses tells me He’s already there.

He is smallpox, after the epidemic has ended and the last specimen has been — not destroyed — safely isolated into a single vial, where it can be studied, and have no further ill effect on anything outside that vial. If things go well Tuesday, this will be confirmed once and for all.

Employees Must NOW Use Offensive or Insulting Language

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Language is not safe for a general audience.

Hope that made your day. It made mine.

A grateful hat tip to The Conservatives Who Say F*ck.

Bad Internet Arguing Techniques

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Click pic to view. SIWOTI.

Alyssa Milano’s Challenge to Corporations

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Take that, corporations!

Last night, as I sat in the comfort of my living room, watching the news and obsessively checking my Twitter homepage for the latest developments, I felt completely helpless. I cried, and then I did the only thing I could do…I wrote a check to the U.S. Fund for UNICEF for $50,000. But I woke up this morning feeling that this wasn’t enough. As I sat in my bed trying to brainstorm how to raise more money…I turned to Twitter and tweeted the following:

*TWEET CHALLENGE* I just donated $50,000 to UNICEF for #Haiti relief. Which corporation will match my donation?

So… it’s on! I challenge any corporation to match my $50,000 donation to the U.S. Fund for UNICEF. 100% of every dollar will go directly to supplies that include tarpaulins, water-purification tablets, oral rehydration salts, family water kits, medical supplies, medical kits, food, shelter, and protection.

Who is up to this challenge? Will someone help me help the victims of this catastrophe?

Back last month, during her birthday, we noticed she was spinning away on the “Prove I’m a Good Person” cycle like a crazy obsessive-compulsive hamster.

Alyssa MilanoThis is a little bit worse than that, I think. You don’t have to study Ms. Milano very long to figure out that, if & when XYZ Corporation steps up and says “Why, we will do that Alyssa Milano! Here’s a check!” — there will be no gratitude, there will be no tweets about how XYZ Corp. is a swell bunch of guys, she takes back all the vile things she’s ever said about corporations…blah blah blah. There will be none of that. There’s no way they can win here. Now imagine yourself as some old guy with enough money to his name to live comfortably, with a spoiled rotten brat like Alyssa Milano as your niece “challenging” you to do this or that. Just to prove what a good-hearted adorable pixie she is, and what a towering asshole you are. No way to win. How quickly would that get old?

Corporations did nothing to cause the disaster. And yet here’s Alyssa Milano making them into the villain of the drama anyway. Why is that? We know she’s an Obama supporter now…or was…did she push for Hillary Clinton back in the early days? Because this is exactly the same way of thinking things out: Horrible story, it doesn’t have a bad guy anywhere in it, so I’ll manufacture one so I can point my finger and do some blaming.

You know what America really needs more than anything else? It needs some people who are ready, willing and able to do good things like donate Alyssa Milano’s $50,000…or $500…or less than that, because they’re donating whatever they can afford to donate…and not say a word about it. Yeah, I know, you can’t harness the power of “The Wave” without tweeting, or doing something like that. So maybe her heart is in the right place. But I kind of doubt it because when I see people working really hard to prove they’re good people, I immediately get suspicious. Can’t point to any one event that made me that way. I’ve just reacted that way, more and more, each year I’ve been on the planet. Comes from living real life and watching real people. When people need the validation from strangers that they’re decent, I just have to wonder what’s going on to keep this confirmation from coming from within.

Alyssa Milano is now a two-time offender in this department — and it seems to be what she’s all about. I just can’t help but wonder what she did that arouses this need for others to say “Alyssa Milano, she’s a swell cookie.” Why’s she feel so guilty? What’s she hiding? Yes, I’m deadly serious; not being funny.

I realize, also, that we might very well be up to our armpits in anonymous, quiet, life-saving donors. By definition, they are people about whom I cannot learn. But things like Milano-tweets of this sort, fill me with a dread that perhaps they’re not there after all. That maybe America is going through a phase in which, while we might be doing good things left & right, it’s all to recoup some of this validation-from-strangers — it’s all for show. And this is an idea I find to be awful. I recoil from the notion that this is a very real possibility, for if it is true, then the eventual results of such a condition cannot possibly be good.

Consider this to be my challenge to spoiled, vapid Hollywood celebrities to donate to worthy organizations for relief for Haiti — and not utter a single syllable about it. To anyone. Because, unlike Alyssa Milano, I’m genuinely curious about whether my challenge can be met. And if it were possible for me to get an answer to that (it isn’t possible, of course, by the very nature of the question) it would truly and immediately impact my opinion, for the duration, either way, positive or negative. No, I haven’t made up my mind on whether they got it in ’em or not, and yes, I’d really like to know.

Cross-posted at Right Wing News.

Update: This CNN link provides several ways to help out Haiti. Use ’em if you have the means to do so, and don’t tell me about it.

America Needs One Brave democrat

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Washington Examiner Editorial:

As the clock ticks down to the final decisive vote in Congress on Obamacare, one question stands above all else: Is there one Senate Democrat with the political courage to stand with the American people and say no? Who among the 60 Senate Democrats will put the national interest above partisan politics and say to his or her colleagues that “We must start over and do this the right way”?

It’s an interesting way of looking at it.

Beat Around the Bush!

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

How’d we come up with this expression? The answer may surprise you.

Get your mind out of the gutter…

We All Have Our “Devils”

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Yep, it happened because of global warming.

This is just as risible as anything Pat Robertson said. Both men have their pet cause all picked out, and any remarkable event is just going to provide one more excuse to talk about it. The affliction is the same in both cases. Both of them probably believe the drivel coming out of their mouths, down to the marrow of their bones.

Sometimes, what money can do to a man’s thinking process is not a pretty thing.

“It’s The End Of Change As We Know It”

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

Hat tip to Ed Morrissey at Hot Air, who adds:

The Massachusetts race shows fairly clearly that millions of dollars won’t rescue a Democrat from the outrage that the Obama agenda has provoked, and Reid’s continued presence has become an albatross around the neck of his son Rory, who wants to run for governor on the damaged brand of the Reid name. If ObamaCare runs aground, there isn’t much reason to linger to November to take his well-deserved beating at the polls.

Forty Asinine Liberal Quotes

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

…compiled by John Hawkins. All from the last decade. The top five are quite remarkable, packing a pronounced anti-military bent…but do check out the others. Each of them should get the responsible voter’s mental gears spinning, seriously pondering the question of who or what it is we have put in charge.

5) Through every Abu aib and Haditha, through every rape and murder, the American public has indulged those in uniform….We pay the soldiers a decent wage, take care of their families, provide them with housing and medical care and vast social support systems and ship obscene amenities into the war zone for them, we support them in every possible way, and their attitude is that we should in addition roll over and play dead, defer to the military and the generals and let them fight their war, and give up our rights and responsibilities to speak up because they are above society?…[T]he recent NBC report is just an ugly reminder of the price we pay for a mercenary — oops sorry, volunteer — force that thinks it is doing the dirty work. — The Washington Post’s William Arkin

4) In Vietnam, our soldiers came back and they were reviled as baby killers, in shame and humiliation. It isn’t happening now, but I will tell you – there has never been an army as violent and murderous as our army has been in Iraq. — Seymour Hersh

3) Over time, however, the endless war in Iraq began to play a role in natural selection. Only idiots signed up; only idiots died. Back home, the average I.Q. soared. — Ted Rall

2) As to those in the World Trade Center…Let’s get a grip here, shall we? True enough, they were civilians of a sort. But innocent? Gimme a break. …If there was a better, more effective, or in fact any other way of visiting some penalty befitting their participation upon the little Eichmanns inhabiting the sterile sanctuary of the twin towers, I’d really be interested in hearing about it. — Ward Churchill

1) The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not ‘insurgents’ or ‘terrorists’ or ‘The Enemy.’ They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow — and they will win.” — Michael Moore

The other question that comes up is, now that the inmates are running the asylum, exactly how much power should they have. Guess that’s up to Massachusetts to figure out.

“Ted Kennedy’s Seat”

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

Zombie reports from Pajamas Media:

Obama and the Democrats have not conceded the Massachussetts senate race, as some have suggested. Quite the opposite: This morning, Obama’s national Democratic activist group Organizing for America sent out a mass email to supporters saying they will fight tooth and nail to hang on to “Ted Kennedy’s seat”:

OFA is going all out in Massachusetts — we’re sending organizers, knocking on doors, and making phone calls by the tens of thousands to make sure that folks know how to participate.

Prediction: Scott Brown m-u-s-t win by at least a thousand votes; if the margin is any less than that, expect an Al Gore/Franken “recount” debacle several weeks or months long, followed by a victory for Coakley based on boxes and boxes of “found” votes.

Any election a Republican doesn’t win by at least a thousand votes, goes to the democrat. It’s a rule of Natural Law. They’re whiners and complainers, so they get the benefit of each & every doubt, because that’s just the way it works.

U and V

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

Urmila Matondkar, Bollywood legend. She’ll be turning 36 next month if my math is right. That’s twenty-seven years of acting success, with truckloads of wins & nominations. Three weeks ago, she lost out to Torrey DeVito.

Victoria Silvstedt, Swedish model, same age, Playmate of the Year 1997.

I think Urmila takes this one. I know with the pictures above that seems inconceivable. It’s a distance thing. If you zoom in on both of them, Urmila looks more enticing, Victoria less so. Not quite as wholesome.

That’s how I’m calling it tonight…

Vic Snyder Retiring

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

Ah-boom boom boom…another one bites the dust

Rep. Vic Snyder (D-Ark.) announced tonight that he will be retiring at the end of his term, citing the difficult political environment that he would have faced to win an eighth term in the House.

“2010 will be a robust election year during which great forces collide to set the direction for our country for another two years,” Snyder said in a statement.

“I have concluded that these election-year forces are no match for the persuasive and powerful attraction of our three one-year old boys under the leadership of their three-year old brother, and I have decided not to run for re-election.”

Blah blah blah pursue other opportunities spend more time with my family blah blah blah.

Snyder is the 11th House Democrat to announce his retirement. — and Republicans are aggressively contesting nine of those open seats. Griffin, a former U.S. Attorney, was mounting a vigorous campaign against Snyder and had already banked over $300,000 for his campaign, according to a GOP source.

You have to wonder what the democrat leadership says behind closed doors. There is 1933…there is 1965. And then there is 1993. There is, clearly, a decline. There were no “come-uppins” for 1933, although ’33 had to do with tearing apart the very fabric of what makes America. It may be argued that not quite so much the legislation passed in 1965, but the drive to marginalize the opposition that surrounded the activity — brought 1968. Lyndon Johnson’s narcissistic, psychotic personality brought 1968. Earl Warren letting all the murderers and rapists out of jail. “Knowing Where The Bodies Are Buried” politics.

And then 1993 brought 1994. But at least there wasn’t quite as much…well, maybe we should be charitable and call it “foresight.” And, a good democrat legislator was more-often-than-not proud, not ashamed, to climb on board the Clinton locomotive. It was where he belonged.

Today, the democrats need all the stars to line up before they can enjoy an instantaneous shot at pushing through whatever is “good for us.” They have to do it in the dark of night. Sneak around. Crouch and pounce. And it’s still a suicide run. Sixteen years ago, it was more like a gamble; I seem to recall there was just a vague feeling in the air that was only mildly suggestive of a “Republican Revolution,” one that was not perceptible (at least to me) until Election Day eve.

This is more like a slow-moving car wreck. Congressman Snyder joins Larry, Moe and Curly…and perhaps more as events continue to unfold.

Over is Right, Under is Wrong

Friday, January 15th, 2010

Right and Wrong
Damn straight.

Toilet paper has a natural curve, a way of being that lends itself to certain orientations on the toilet paper spool. If handled with skill and knowledge, it can provide an abundance of both sanitation and comfort, quilted together in each square of pillowy ply. If handled with clumsy ignorance, or worse, carelessness, it will beset the user with pain, filth, and frustration. Don’t let it end this way, with you curled on the tile floor of the stall, weeping in frustration, covered in wasted papier de toilette. To convince you, we’ve created some diagrams, harnessing the power of SCIENCE, to demonstrate the natural benefits of the over hanging method.

On Twitter, Republicans Dominate

Friday, January 15th, 2010

Now, this is interesting:

On Twitter, Republicans are absolutely dominant, according to a recent study by a prominent Washington policy analyst. The study found that Republican politicians have far more followers and influence on the micro-blogging site than do their Democratic counterparts.

GOP prominence on online social networks heralds a markedly different trend from the technologically dominant Obama presidential campaign, which outmatched its opponents in virtually every area of online communications. But necessity is the mother of invention, and having been relegated to the minority both in popular opinion and electoral prominence, Republicans have had to turn to alternative ways to get their messages out.

According to Forbes, the report shows that

in the House of Representatives, Republicans are far more prolific, sending out 29,162 Tweets through early January, five times as many micro messages as their Democratic counterparts. In the Senate, Republicans’ 6,310 tweets outnumber Democrats’ by a far smaller 35% margin.

Because Republican Congressmen tweet more often, more people subscribe, or “follow,” their Twitter feeds. Thanks in part to lots of Twitter activity from groups like Top Conservatives On Twitter (TCOT), Republicans occupy 18 of the top 20 spots in terms of followers on Twitter. Republicans “follow” people back, too–or at least more than Democrats. The study says they subscribe to more people’s feeds by a factor of 10.

“Mother of invention” theory. I find this to be an intriguing explanation. It implies this isn’t quite so much a Republican groundswell as a democrat retreat. Like, as soon as they’re done beating that opposition they don’t have a whole lot to say to us.

True of both sides, I suppose.

Scott Surges Ahead

Friday, January 15th, 2010

Ah….finally some good news.

Riding a wave of opposition to Democratic health-care reform, GOP upstart Scott Brown is leading in the U.S. Senate race, raising the odds of a historic upset that would reverberate all the way to the White House, a new poll shows.

Although Brown’s 4-point lead over Democrat Martha Coakley is within the Suffolk University/7News survey’s margin of error, the underdog’s position at the top of the results stunned even pollster David Paleologos.

“It’s a Brown-out,” said Paleologos, director of Suffolk’s Political Research Center. “It’s a massive change in the political landscape.”

The poll shows Brown, a state senator from Wrentham, besting Coakley, the state’s attorney general, by 50 percent to 46 percent, the first major survey to show Brown in the lead.

The watershed issue is, of course, that rancid carbuncle of a health care bill.

And the watershed issue of that, of course, is about the majority party completely marginalizing the opposition. Absolutely gelding them. If only for a moment…so they can pass this legislation a whole lot of people don’t want, and stick us with it. Forever.

That’s not Republican propaganda, it’s things the way they really are. And yet it doesn’t really sound “democratic” when it’s described that way, does it?

Update: The democrat party braces for impact:

Here in Massachusetts, as well as in Washington, a growing sense of gloom is setting in among Democrats about the fortunes of Democratic Senate candidate Martha Coakley. “I have heard that in the last two days the bottom has fallen out of her poll numbers,” says one well-connected Democratic strategist. In her own polling, Coakley is said to be around five points behind Republican Scott Brown. “If she’s not six or eight ahead going into the election, all the intensity is on the other side in terms of turnout,” the Democrat says. “So right now, she is destined to lose.”

Intensifying the gloom, the Democrat says, is the fact that the same polls showing Coakley falling behind also show President Obama with a healthy approval rating in the state. “With Obama at 60 percent in Massachusetts, this shouldn’t be happening, but it is,” the Democrat says.

Yeah, take that.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The way democrats choose their contenders during their off-elections — that is to say, during presidential election seasons, when the White House is occupied by their opposition — ought to arouse deep, festering skepticism in any true American who is thinking of supporting them. Since JFK, although the fanfare and the hubbub has changed in cosmetic content, the one consistent desire/fulfillment that is given unswerving priority in the nomination contest is this: Something about the individual that makes it likely he can sell product contrary to the interests of the buyer.

Usually it’s “charisma.” They call it by a lot of other names too. “Moral authority” was something John Kerry stole from Maureen Dowd, or Dowd stole from Kerry. Bill Clinton was someone who would be a hell of a lot of fun as a drinking buddy if you were a guy, and if you were a gal, you could sleep with him and later on watch Hillary beat the shit out of him. One way or another, Bill could sell you some crap that wasn’t good for you. Carter? He was a decent guy who didn’t have anything to do with Watergate. So he, too, had a gimmick for plying us with crap. And did. For a little while.

To say suspicion is what this should arouse, is an understatement and a disservice to suspicion. If selling is a test of sound policy, then the sale should be just as likely when it’s sold by an every-man. You shouldn’t need some extra-special, once-in-a-lifetime silver-tongue-demon to get it sold. This is the philosophical basis of Thing I Know #271. So after a year of watching the crap get sold, it just makes sense to say “yeah I like your guy a whole lot because He’s really likable…and your product still sucks.” Now, if Massachusetts can figure this out, what’s everybody else’s excuse?

I shouldn’t make cracks about them, I guess. They’re about to decide if the Declaration of Independence still has meaning for the other forty-nine states…and besides, I’m here in California.

His Blank Slate XI

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

Karl Rove has a few constructive pieces of criticism…constructive, in that in order to figure out if they’re useful or not, one needn’t bother with the question of whether or not they’re kind.

Because of Washington’s hyperpartisan atmosphere, President George W. Bush drew heated criticism from Democrats for his signing statements. Among his toughest critics was Barack Obama, who in a questionnaire for the Boston Globe in 2007 accused Mr. Bush of “clear abuse” in using signing statements “to avoid enforcing certain provisions…the President does not like.” He promised not to use signing statements to “nullify or undermine congressional instructions as enacted into law.”

Yet Mr. Obama started issuing signing statements shortly after taking office. Democratic Reps. Barney Frank and David Obey called him out on it in a letter to the White House complaining that they were “chagrined” that Mr. Obama was issuing signing statements.

Recently, the Obama administration admitted that after receiving the letter from Messrs. Frank and Obey, it stopped the practice. But the president still has aides examine each bill to identify provisions the administration will disregard. It’s just that Team Obama isn’t telling Congress which provisions it is ignoring.
:
During his campaign, Mr. Obama pledged that any negotiations on health-care legislation would be broadcast on C-SPAN, “so the American people can see what the choices are,” and not conducted behind closed doors. “Such public negotiations,” he said, were “the antidote” to “overcoming the special interests and the lobbyists who…will resist anything that we try to do.”

Internet publisher Andrew Breitbart collected videotape of Mr. Obama making the same promise eight different times in 2007 and 2008—evidence that this was not a hasty or ill-considered pledge. It was supposed to epitomize the “change” that was at the core of the Obama campaign.

Now, however, the final negotiations on health-care reform are being conducted behind closed doors and there’s no formal legislative conference between the House and Senate, which would guarantee Republicans at least a few seats at the table. This bill is not only being written in secrecy, it is being written by an anonymous group of Democrats.
:
Mr. Obama is not the centrist or new-style bipartisan leader he presented himself to be. On many of the most basic issues raised in the campaign, and in describing the kind of leadership he would practice, Mr. Obama misled voters.

Is Rove on target with his closing uppercut?

Americans will overlook a lot of things when it comes to politicians — but being on the receiving end of a giant bait-and-switch game isn’t one of them.

Between President Obama’s final victory over Hillary Clinton, and His election triumph, the folks who are like me worried vocally about His lack of stated position on real issues. We said He was about to govern on a blank slate. Even when He did promise to do something, so many among the folks who voted for Him were voting for Him for entirely different reasons. These were the perils of personality politics at work. If He ever did anything unexpected, we said, it would be rather difficult to call Him out and say He even broke a campaign promise, since He really hasn’t had to make any.

And if ever He was criticized, we said, He and His loyalists would be able to just use His race to make it all go away.

Obama did make some promises…mostly about the way He’d be doing things, not so much about what exactly He’d do. You see from the above recap how much that means.

So you’ll notice none of us are recanting anything about what we said. Things are not better than we thought they would be. They’re much, much worse.

Avatar?

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

So a group is going to have a sit-down with Avatar on an IMAX screen. I’m part of the group, and it happens I’ve already seen it this past weekend. It is, indeed, a stunning visual treat, and I’ve been wrestling with this decision, but ultimately I’ve decided to sit it out. It would be purely a celebration of “Hey, we’re a group, we’re together, isn’t it great” and I’ve never added much to those…and while by itself this is an excellent product of entertainment, when placed alongside all the others it shows serious gaping defects in originality.

Plot FailIt’s not good enough to see twice. It certainly isn’t good enough to own.

This reviewer speaks for me:

“Avatar” is a cool film. Stunning visuals. Staggering technology. It’s a true breakthrough. That’s the James Cameron way.

But this is the first time Cameron has stopped there — the first time I’ve seen him fail to turn a good-looking film into a great one.

In order to do that, you still have to provide things like a strong story, memorable characters, sharp writing, emotional connection and humor.

Even one or two. Something other than this formulaic story we’ve seen before, populated by two-dimensional types — including token military villains and heroic tree-huggers — stretched out over 162 minutes just to show off Cameron’s tech prowess.

This is not how you spend $300 million. Didn’t anyone learn from the well-spent $30 million of “District 9”? Or, heck, the $27,000 of “Clerks”? Or the $140 million of “Star Trek” that showed how big-budget blockbusters can still be done right?

This is why I’m not a film critic. In all honesty, I would have to give Avatar a very high rating; to pan it would be a disservice to my readers, most of whom would decidedly enjoy it.

It didn’t work for me. And perhaps it’s just me; I’m story-sensitive. And Avatar — there’s no getting around it — has a poor story. The scenery, stunning as it is, is bogged down by this Peter Jackson-ish feel, which is the loss of timing. A scene justifies ten seconds, perhaps fifteen at the most. Instead, it is stretched out to several minutes because it is so awesome.

The reviewer mentions “Star Trek,” which I assume is this year’s release. I have a vivid memory of “The Motion Picture” some thirty years ago in which Kirk and Scott climbed into a shuttle and took an entirely unnecessary back-and-forth sweep across the starship’s exterior. When I held a stopwatch to this it came in at just over four minutes. This particular scene, needless to say, has aged rather badly.

But I suppose there are two types of people in the world, those who like a good story, and those who are more enamored of impressive effects. You’ll certainly enjoy Avatar if you identify more strongly with the second of those two. You really need to ask yourself a serious question about what exactly it is you are trying to get out of a film experience.

Brown/Coakley

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Cassy Fiano has made herself lately into the go-to spot for news on this campaign and all the weirdness in it. Many other bloggers have put more energy into it than I have, and to them, we owe our thanks for news like this.

Fueled by the energy of conservative activists, a solid debate performance and a 24-hour, $1.3 million Internet fundraising haul, Massachusetts state Sen. Scott Brown (R) has thrown a major scare into the Democratic establishment in his bid to win next Tuesday’s special Senate election over once heavily favored Attorney General Martha Coakley.

The intensified activity around the campaign to fill the seat of the late senator Edward M. Kennedy (D) highlights the degree to which the race has taken on national significance. A victory, or even a narrow loss, by Brown in the competition for the symbolically important seat would be interpreted as another sign that voters have turned away from the Democrats at the start of the midterm election year.

More urgently, a Brown win would give Republicans 41 seats in the Senate and the ability to block President Obama’s health-care initiative and much of the Democrats’ 2010 congressional agenda. Strategists on both sides concede that a Brown victory would drastically reshape the calculus of the health-care debate, which is now in its final stages.

Of course, it bears mentioning that this all relies on the use of the filibuster, which I’ve said repeatedly should be done-away-with permanently regardless of “who it helps or hurts.” Somewhere, sometime, I should jot down my latest thoughts about this in light of ObamaCare. Like Bob Dole said once, a filibuster is an awful process unless you’re trying to stop something. I must confess that this made a lot less sense to me at the time I was watching him say it, than it does right now.

This legislation is downright repulsive. If I’m ever going to flip on that position of mine, just once, now would be the time. I’ll certainly admit that much.

Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself… XXV

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Boortz says all that needs to be said…not a single word needs changing, adding or dropping.

EARTHQUAKE IN HAITI

And a devastating one at that. High casualty numbers are expected. So, what happens next? America comes to the rescue, that’s what. American taxpayers will spend tens of millions of dollars helping the people of Haiti. The American military will soon be involved. The U.S. Southern Command was gearing up for a relief effort within hours after the earthquake. Why? Well .. because that’s just what we do, that’s why. Frankly I would rather see the money spent to help the innocent victims of an earthquake in a neighboring country than on enabling single mothers, drunks and druggies in this country. You see pictures of the children trapped in the rubble in Haiti and you can’t help but want the do something. Not only American government, but American relief agencies will be stepping forward. My wife is a Red Cross volunteer … If she wasn’t involved in another project she would have been packing her bags last night. Americans will step forward .. and the world knows it and expects it. Can’t help but wonder, though, what Hugo Chavez will be doing. How much aid will be coming from Fidel Castro and Venezuela’s socialist whack job? Token help, at best. And what about the United Nations? Care to guess whether or not the wonderful U.N.’s efforts will exceed that done by the people of America. Right. Didn’t think so. And the aftermath? Chavez and his ilk will continue to preach their anti-American rhetoric and Central American will continue to bask in its hatred of the United States. The United Nations will continue to work day-after-day on its anti-American agenda. Then … the next time a disaster strikes … we’ll be there, as usual.

This CNN link lists resources you can use to help the people of Haiti. I urge you to chose agencies that are identified with the people of America rather than agencies affiliated with the UN. We can help without strengthening those who revile us.

“Just Weird & Random Stuff”

Monday, January 11th, 2010

The Lott/Reid Double Standard

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Yes, that part of it matters, the rest of it does not. I think this whole thing is stupid, I thought it was stupid in aught-two when the last Majority Leader was being boiled in oil over it.

But this part of it does matter.

Top Republicans called for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to step aside Sunday — and accused the Democrats and the media of holding the GOP to a double standard on matters of race.

In an interview with POLITICO, National Republican Senatorial Committee Chairman John Cornyn (R-Texas) said it would be “entirely appropriate” for the Nevada Democrat to relinquish his leadership post over comments about Barack Obama’s skin color and lack of a “Negro dialect.”

And like Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele and Senate GOP Whip Jon Kyl — both of whom also called for Reid’s resignation Sunday — Cornyn suggested that any Republican who said what Reid said would be under attack from Democrats, leading African-Americans and the media.

“There’s a big double standard here,” Steele said during an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

“What’s interesting here, is when Democrats get caught saying racist things, an apology is enough. If that had been [Senate Minority Leader] Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) saying that about an African-American candidate for president of the president of the United States, trust me, this chairman and the [Democratic National Committee] would be screaming for his head, very much as they were with Trent Lott.”

The double-standard doesn’t injure just the one political party upon which it is so clearly focused. It is toxic to the entire issue. It reveals that showing respect to a particular ethnic group, and driving from the seat of power anybody who can never show that respect — has nothing to do with anything. The whole exercise in phony righteousness is just a way to push favorite political agendas.

Al Sharpton, the vocal civil rights leader who has inserted himself in the middle of many of the biggest racial fights over the past 25 years, said that while Reid “did not select the best word choice in this instance,” the Nevada Democrat should not be forced to step aide.

Surely the power to dictate unilaterally who will & won’t be unmade by such a thing, is at least as formidable a weapon as the power to determine who will be made.

What’s the very best argument anyone, anywhere has to declare that Reverend Al is worthy of kingmaker stature? The very best one? Can’t wait to see it.

Update: As Lee Doran points out, all these reports that President Obama has accepted Reid’s apology, shouldn’t matter for squat. Obama was not the sole target of Reid’s racist comment.

My Latest Malware Adventure

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

The HP Mini that is used as the “blogger-book” has been intensive care these last two weeks due to spyware. Friday morning, something downloaded something, and it was put in a coma. So I lost half my weekend, but this time it seems I got it all out.

Parts: $80 (two software licenses). Services: $100. Labor: That would be my time…geez, I don’t even want to think about it. At one point I got snookered into downloading the Firefox install from the wrong location. Gyah, a newbie mistake. And we’re moving in the wrong direction here!

I described it in a letter to family, jotted down as the smoke was still clearing:

Wish there was some agency that would accept claims on this stuff, and then seek civil remedies against the vermin who write this crap. How wonderful that would be. “Okay Mr. Freeberg, we’ve filed a lein [sp] on Mr. Xxxxx’s house, and his paychecks for the next twenty years. Your share is $36, here’s your check, chalk the rest of it up to experience.” I’d take it.

That is pure CAS. Once again…it is somehow not do-able, even though common sense tells us it would either solve the problem relatively instantly, or educate us in some new way about its nature.

Whenever I start running this place, it shall be done:

46. Spyware is VANDALISM. Viruses are VANDALISM. We will return to our old habits of hunting these vandals down and prosecuting them to the fullest extent of the law.

I will expand the government to start a Bureau of Malware Damage Compensation. It will be responsible for filing civil suits against these guilty parties and placing liens on their property and income. It will accept and validate claims for anti-virus software licensing, computer services, and time lost by the victims, and as the proceeds of these liens are collected, it will compensate them. Persons and businesses.

Why do we have to wait for me to take charge, anyway?

Your new pet pit-bull shows signs of taking an unhealthy liking to human flesh…you get rid of it, now, with terror in your eyes. Right? Because you know you will be held accountable. Sidewalk in front of your house ices up, you clear it, because you’re afraid of some clumsy oaf ending up owning your house.

But the spyware keeps pouring out, like some spigot somewhere is rusted into the “wide open” position. The money we spend defending against this, treating it as some weather pattern that’s just plain striking at us whenever it’s a mind to do it, like a hurricane or something…it’s really a staggering amount. It’s actually pretty hard to measure.

We, generally, are pussies. We don’t punish anything anymore. Just arbitrary reports of some nebulous qualification for “racism” or “sexism”…or anything else that would justify, in some flimsy ramshackle way, a really, really easy collection of revenue. Everything else gets a pass. We don’t punish to actually correct behavior anymore; it’s got more to do with paying yesterday’s bills. We’ve stopped thinking about tomorrow.

Update: You know, I’ve often thought I should expand that list of things I’d do if the day ever came that I could be dictator. There are so many things that would go on it, if I could be persuaded to be as meddling, as nitpicky, as tyrannical as your typical liberal. If I was struck by lightning and the voltage somehow fried away the libertarian synapses in my brain, leaving everything else intact.

What if I were pre-disposed to run around like Obama just announcing this-or-that person is “acting stupidly” and telling them what to do? And running this place. All three branches of government in the palm of my hand.

If Morgan governed like Peter The Great, ordering all the men to shave off their beards…you know the first thing I’d do. Anyone with less than a ten mile commute who can’t give me a doctor’s note, m-u-s-t ride a bicycle to work. And I’m not interested in a healthy lifestyle, making people thin, any of that stuff. I’m interested in waste. When you ride a bicycle on a regular basis you become fixated on — things rubbing up against the tires, the spokes not being tightened right, the air pressure not being up to par.

We’ve lost this. And that is why the malware is floating around. We’ve become an eight-cylinder SUV society. For all the nonsense we babble about global warming and how worried we are about it, we’ve become a culture in which we just press the gas down when we want to go somewhere, and we really don’t care about the imperfections in the system that makes it all go until the bill for gassing it up again is ten dollars higher than what we’re used to paying. And then, we don’t fix anything until the power steering makes a godawful squealing sound or the transmission conks out. Then we bitch and cuss about how it cost three thousand dollars and the mechanic must be out to screw us over.

The point is that complex systems can run right, or they can run not-so-right. If they’re running not-so-right…in other words, your daily computing chores include as a component in the system some asshole freckle-faced kid four time zones away who likes to write malware…and isn’t getting punished…it becomes a pay-me-now pay-me-later kind of thing.

Stocks. Whips. Dungeons. Whatever it takes. We put up with behavior that, by rights, people should be genuinely afraid of doing.