House of Eratosthenes

What’s needed is a full-fledged effort to cultivate “Whole Foods Republicans”—independent-minded voters who embrace a progressive lifestyle but not progressive politics. These highly-educated indiividuals appreciate diversity and would never tell racist or homophobic jokes; they like living in walkable urban environments; they believe in environmental stewardship, community service and a spirit of inclusion. And yes, many shop at Whole Foods, which has become a symbol of progressive affluence but is also a good example of the free enterprise system at work. (Not to mention that its founder is a well-known libertarian who took to these pages to excoriate ObamaCare as inimical to market principles.)

What makes these voters potential Republicans is that, lifestyle choices aside, they view big government with great suspicion. There’s no law that someone who enjoys organic food, rides his bike to work, or wants a diverse school for his kids must also believe that the federal government should take over the health-care system or waste money on thousands of social programs with no evidence of effectiveness. Nor do highly educated people have to agree that a strong national defense is harmful to the cause of peace and international cooperation.

So how to woo these voters to the Republican column? The first step is to stop denigrating intelligence and education. President George W. Bush’s bantering about being a “C” student may have enamored “the man in the street,” but it surely discouraged more than a few “A” students from feeling like part of the team.

The same is true for Mrs. Palin’s inability to name a single newspaper she reads. If the GOP doesn’t want to be branded the “Party of Stupid,” it could stand to nominate more people who can speak eloquently on complicated policy matters.

Even more important is the party’s message on divisive social issues. When some Republicans use homophobic language, express thinly disguised contempt toward immigrants, or ridicule heartfelt concerns for the environment, they affront the values of the educated class. And they lose votes they otherwise ought to win.

Petrilli’s mistake is pretty obvious: The GOP’s reputation as the “Party of Stupid,” he seems to think, is the party’s own fault and nobody else’s. There has been no concerted effort on the part of Team Obama, MoveOnDotOrg, the cable teevee “comedians,” the alphabet-soup network news anchors, Team Kerry back in ’04, Hollywood celebrities, et al — to make democrat candidates look like mental giants and Republican candidates look like knuckle-dragging rubes. No, that was all empirical evidence we saw with our own eyes, and mistaken Republican campaign tactics that need to be turned around. The segregation-party took everything over last year because they’re the only natural home for the eggheads; the Party of Lincoln is getting pounded because it’s all about tearing out indoor plumbing, electricity, the wheel…that’s why the conservative pundits are people like George Will and Thomas Sowell, and the other side has Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow and Jerry Brown.

Conservatives just have to start liking smart people, and everyone will stop making fun of them.

It seems to have never occurred to Petrilli to wonder just what kind of life a typical liberal leads, in order to become so desperate to advertise these qualities of “smarts.” If ya got a brain, and you really know for sure that you have one, shouldn’t you just be…using it? Quietly? As a tool to be going about your day-to-day existence, rather than as a flashy gimmick for starting conversations at cocktail parties? To vote for candidates who will govern — and not “rule”?

And if you misuse it…like, for example, so you can “BE A PART OF THIS THING!!!” as of November of last year…isn’t it something of a natural consequence to regret it now, as so many clearly do?

Seems to me that’s a much more potent campaign slogan. Votes that will make things better, rather than votes you can brag about to your other highbrow friends.

Ideas that work…not ideas that dazzle your friends who likely don’t make very good friends anyway.

Policies that are good for everybody…not policies designed to pick out this-or-that segment of the population of your fellow citizens — small business owners, “hedge fund managers,” capitalists, executives, entrepreneurs, and take ’em down a peg or two because it feels so darn good.

Of course, the elephant (Hah! Sorry) in the room around which Mr. Petrilli is dancing, and which I’ve left unmentioned up until now as well, is…Copenhagen. Following his advice to the letter, and only pretending to show some of this intellectual curiosity and not actually using any of it — the enthused Republican candidate will be confronted early on with the issue of climate change. That which used to be called “global warming.” It says…

1. The world is still heating up;
2. Trends left unchecked, it will become unlivable very soon;
3. It’s all or mostly our fault — enough that we can “make a difference” by stopping some things and starting other things;
4. The only way to check, slow or stop the crisis is to raise our taxes.

Now if you want to deck yourself out in glib, glittery, meanlingless finery that showcases your intellect…nevermind whether or not you really have some…the verdict is quite clear. You must support those four pillars above. You must. And it’s already been proven to us, if you are in possession of, or have access to, data that disturb the four bullets, you have to get rid of it, or “hide the decline.”

On the other hand, if you think intellectualism is something more than a fashion statement; if you think it has something to do with honesty — you have no choice but to fight back, because this stuff called “climate change” is nothing other more or less than an assault on responsible thinking.

Mr. Petrilli is the one defining this term “Whole Foods Republicans,” so it’s left to him to make the determination: Are these people who won’t give a candidate their vote, unless the candidate supports the most audacious and ambitious scam in all of human history?

Could he be talking about people like me, who recognize it has the sham that it is, but still drive around in four-cylinder, two-door sedans, walk to wherever it is we’re going if it’s within two miles and we have the time…yell at our kids to get the hell out of the house and get some fresh air…teach them that littering is an abomination in the eyes of God? Is he talking about us? It doesn’t seem likely. I know of others who do this, and not a one of ’em was fooled by Barack Obama for a single Chicago minute.

No, the ones I know are tired of the bull feces. They recognize — Mr. Perilli seems ignorant of this — that “intellectualism” has gone through a redefinition of sorts since that whole Iraq thing. That one really smart guy worth quoting, said it all:

Intellectualism has become the readiness, willingness and ability to call dangerous things safe, and safe things dangerous.

You want to scratch the itch that plagues the Republican-smarty-pants set? Take that one down. Attack that. Stop that in its tracks. That’s my suggestion…and it’ll net you all the Republican votes you ever had a shot at chasing. The rest were never going to be yours, no matter what.

independent-minded voters who embrace a progressive lifestyle but not progressive politics

I’m certain that these voters will be hard to find, what with all the unicorn cay-care that most of them provide.

Crikey, it’s “Granola Conservatism” redux. Someone needs to drive a stake through the heart of this crap.
- Physics Geek | 12/14/2009 @ 09:10
Another point of irony is … guess who opposes government health care?

Whole Foods.

And guess who has their knickers in a wad about that?

🙂
- philmon | 12/14/2009 @ 12:59
Should have been “unicorn DAY-care”.
- Physics Geek | 12/14/2009 @ 13:38
[…] House of Eratosthenes is not impressed. […]
- DYSPEPSIA GENERATION » Blog Archive » Whole Foods Republicans? | 12/14/2009 @ 17:22
It’s true enough that a lot of conservatives are actually supportive to one extent or another about of lot of “progressive” ideas like clean energy, recycling, organic food, and so on. Where we differ from the Left, however, is that we generally don’t support government action mandating these ideas into reality. For example, most of us on the Right would rather see the free market bring us an alternative fuel vehicle when the technology becomes practical and market demand has materialized, not because some bozo at the EPA has arbitrarily decided that we should all be driving them.

That said, this sounds suspiciously like yet another one of those “big tent” calls. You know, the demand that we start watering down our policy positions in some desperate bid to attract more support from moderates and independents? Like you, I’m pretty tired of that cliche, especially since I don’t see the Left being encouraged to ease-up on its ceaseless crackdown on Western Civilization and the accompanying “polluting” technology.
- cylarz | 12/15/2009 @ 01:51
Exactly! It’s not the role of government, that’s what I keep telling people. It’s not that we don’t believe in helping out our fellow man — remember the survey done that surprised the progressive researcher — that conservatives give more to charity than “liberals”.

Much was made about how “little” the U.S. sent to the Tsunami victims. That’s the U.S. GOVERNMENT. The people of the U.S., independent of the Government, sent barges of money. Same with Katrina. And NYC 9/11.

As far as the “Tent” goes, what has happened with the Republican party is not so much that they made the tent bigger. They just moved the tent and left their base out in the rain and snow.

Rain and sno-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o … left them out in the cold rain and snow…..

(slipped a little Grateful Dead in on you this morning 😉 )
- philmon | 12/15/2009 @ 07:48
(slipped a little Grateful Dead in on you this morning 😉 )

What? REAL conservatives don’t listen to the Dead! Get a frickin’ GRIP, Phil! 😉
- bpenni | 12/15/2009 @ 12:54
Yeah, I know. It’s just me & Annie Coulter sitting in a corner by ourselves. Wait — Oh, hi, Buck! Have a seat! We were just queuing up “Franklin’s Tower”.
- philmon | 12/15/2009 @ 12:56
It’s “The Stupid Party” fuckwit.
- chunt31854 | 12/15/2009 @ 19:40
It’s “The Stupid Party” fuckwit.

Who is the stupid party?
- cylarz | 12/15/2009 @ 23:50

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“Whole Foods Republicans”Monday, December 14th, 2009

“Whole Foods Republicans”
Monday, December 14th, 2009