Alarming News: I like Morgan Freeberg. A lot.
American Digest: And I like this from "The Blog That Nobody Reads", because it is -- mostly -- about me. What can I say? I'm on an ego trip today. It won't last.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: We were following a trackback and thinking "hmmm... this is a bloody excellent post!", and then we realized that it was just part III of, well, three...Damn. I wish I'd written those.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: ...I just remembered that I found a new blog a short while ago, House of Eratosthenes, that I really like. I like his common sense approach and his curiosity when it comes to why people believe what they believe rather than just what they believe.
Brutally Honest: Morgan Freeberg is brilliant.
Dr. Melissa Clouthier: Morgan Freeberg at House of Eratosthenes (pftthats a mouthful) honors big boned women in skimpy clothing. The picture there is priceless--keep scrolling down.
Exile in Portales: Via Gerard: Morgan Freeberg, a guy with a lot to say. And he speaks The Truth...and it's fascinating stuff. Worth a read, or three. Or six.
Just Muttering: Two nice pieces at House of Eratosthenes, one about a perhaps unintended effect of the Enron mess, and one on the Gore-y environ-movie.
Mein Blogovault: Make "the Blog that No One Reads" one of your daily reads.
The Virginian: I know this post will offend some people, but the author makes some good points.
Poetic Justice: Cletus! Ah gots a laiv one fer yew...
I finally figured it out! It’s a case of Life Imitates South Park…specifically, the episode about the “Underwear Gnomes” that steal that little boy’s underpants. I made the connection because of that detail that’s kinda-sorta missing from Step 2. Recall when the underpants gnome explains the business plan…
That’s the answer. The Obama administration, and the media that is so insistent at soft-balling the interviews with them, and covering up for them…they’re just a bunch of Underwear Gnomes. They’re sworn in, they’re still (somewhat) popular — obviously it’s time to activate whatever plan they’ve got in mind to solve all our problems.
But all we get is a bunch of rhetoric about what a great idea it was to put them in charge. As if that was still the decision that confronted us. The time to stop campaigning, never quite seems to come. In a rational universe, there should be so much work to do and so much urgency involved in getting it all done, there should be absolutely zero spare time to circulate paranoid “threat awareness” reports, or sound bites about the Party of No.
This thirteenth-hour campaigning must be part of the plan…or perhaps…it is the plan.
Now if we could just fill in some of that missing definition around Step 2. But I suppose that’s what being an underpants-gnome is all about.
“Step Two,” in fact, seems to be missing from all liberal schemes as well…not just voting for Obama. Everything. “Step One, we sit down and talk to our enemies…Step Two…HEY! Wasn’t that a great idea sitting down and talking to our enemies?? What wonderful great people we are!!”
Forcing states to keep abortion legal, when the people living in those states don’t want to.
Nuclear disarmament.
Gun control.
Increasing the minimum wage.
Saving the planet by imposing a cap-and-trade scheme on carbon emissions.
Closing down Guantanamo.
Making it illegal, or all-but-illegal, for parents to whack their own kids on the butt.
Abolishing capital punishment.
Filing court injunctions to make sure people can keep voting — without proving who they are.
Putting schoolkids through a specialized, medicated curriculum…or…a not-English curriculum.
The stimulus plan, in which we climb out of all this debt by spending money we don’t have.
What do all these schemes have in common? The underpants-gnome thing. There is no Step 2! Step 2, if there is one, consists of patting yourself on the back for engaging Step 1. Step 3 is, of course, the thing “we all agree” is what we want to have happen. But it’s just like that classic joke about the two physicists in front of the blackboard, y’know?
Update: You know where this theory breaks down: The elections themselves. When they’re trying to get elected to something, that gaping disconnect in the middle of the blackboard that always has to be there within all other issues…suddenly disappears.
Liberals that want to win against conservatives, plan their strategy a lot like conservatives. Not when they’re trying to win against terrorists — no, against conservatives. The flow chart on the blackboard, suddenly, is complete, complex, detailed, intricate…foolproof. Suddenly it’s just chock-full of if-then.
No “Then A Miracle Occurs” there at all. Nope. If we can make Sarah Palin look like a dumbass…then we can get the insecure-woman vote back. If we can make fun of John McCain’s inability to use a computer…then we’ll lock up the geek vote.
In all other matters, things that are supposed to help others besides themselves, that chasm of a disconnect has to be there — all the time — smack dab in the middle of the flow chart, where it always goes. Suddenly it’s time to lapse back into “Underwear Gnome” mode, with that big blobby mid-blackboard inexplicable miracle.
Step 1, spend three trillion dollars; Step 2 … ??? . Step 3, Profit!
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Quibble – they’re physicists, not physicians.
- chunt31854 | 04/22/2009 @ 09:21It’s funniest in the version where they’re electrical engineers.
- mkfreeberg | 04/22/2009 @ 09:41[…] then I figured it out: They have an “underpants gnome” mentality. I suppose all good salesmen do. Step One, […]
- House of Eratosthenes | 07/20/2010 @ 07:04