House of Eratosthenes

The FAQ (Questions #8 and #10) makes reference to the wicked things, or at least the very insincere things, being done by what we today call “science”.

Science has been engaging in a bunch of ugly habits lately. I’ve already adequately covered how this works, I think. It says “we are the scientists and we think this is so, now unless you’re a scientist, go away.” That’s an entirely valid scientific exercise when the subject of discussion is a fact. Not when it’s an opinion. Lately, science has been doing this with opinions. Well, that isn’t really what we call “science.”

One of the ways this is pulled off is to come up with a TLA — a Three Letter Acronym — to describe behavior and then start compiling observations about how that behavior works. Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong in doing just that by itself, it’s perfectly consistent with what science is supposed to do. But I notice established science, right then and there, will start pulling rank.

In other words, the opinions of lay-persons are worth jack-squat. Such-and-such is a scientist, so-and-so is not a scientist, so such-and-such knows all and so-and-so doesn’t know anything. Even if it’s a behavioral disorder, and so-and-so actually lives with the person being discussed, so-and-so still doesn’t know shit.

Down the road, maybe that’s an appropriate thing to do.

Science starts this rank-pulling, however, generations before science has a prayer of figuring out what the behavioral disorder is.

I mean, even fundamentally. Is it physiological? If so, is it genetic? Or could it be a non-physiological, purely personality-driven developmental disorder pertaining to environment? Could it be chemical? Before science even makes a stab at forming a theory around one or some of those, before it even tries to build some theories up or tear other theories down — in other words, before it even “does science” — it’s telling the little people what to do and how to think.

Well, Beth Wheeling of Miami has just decided to drop the act. Of course, she’s obviously being tongue-in-cheek about it, but I submit what she’s doing blatantly is no different than what “scientists” have been doing subtly. She’s gotten peeved about something, and decided to start building a file on it. With a TLA.

Obnoxiousness seems to be a contagious affliction

In light of news that road rage is caused by a psychiatric illness — Intermittent Explosive Disorder — I would like to share my own findings. I am a clinical psychologist and have come up with a new syndrome — obnoxious personality disorder.
:
You have OPD if:

� You have ever realized that you missed your exit on the Palmetto Expressway, come to a stop and put on your turn signal.

� You have tried to persuade people behind you in the speedycheckout lane that you only have 10 items because yogurt is on sale at three for $5, therefore the 30 items in your cart count as only 10.

� You have ever asked to go ahead of me in the checkout line because you “only have a couple of things,” then proceeded to stop the line when you realize that you forgot to get Brussels sprouts or you proceed to write a check.

You know what I’d like to call into question? The necessity of having a degree when you make up these TLAs. What happens if I do this? I have a high school diploma…it’s better than nothing. I wouldn’t mind making up some TLAs to describe things that may or may not be contagious. Why on earth not? Scientists, I have long suspected and now suspect even moreso, are just people with grudges. I can do that. I have grudges.

We could define PES to be Party Equivalency Syndrome, which is what the Dime People have; I discussed them here, here and here. Symptoms include denying any difference whatsoever between Republicans and Democrats, and noisily insisting people give you credit for being an “independent thinker” while running around babbling “not a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties, not a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties” all the time.

SIS could be Subcompact Inferiority Syndrome, which is described in Thing I Know #28: People who drive great big cars don’t mind following other great big cars, but they absolutely have to get out from behind a little itty-bitty car even if it involves passing over a double-yellow line. You have it if you’ve ever consumed more fossil fuels than said itty-bitty car will consume in an entire week, in the blink of an eye, flooring it to get your hummer in front of the little rice rocket because boy howdee you can’t stand looking at his little tiny aluminum-plastic japanese-import ass.

HCD is Hillary Combat Disorder, wherein the subject is aroused with a great adrenaline rush to do a lot of arguing to defend the reputation of the junior senator from the state of New York, without understanding why.

Hey, this is getting kind of fun.

How about BSM for Blue State Malady, in which the subject protests that John Kerry was supposed to have won the 2004 presidential election, and is ready to call for one recount after another so that the Long-Faced One can finally be installed in the Oval Office — without having the slightest clue as to what, exactly, a Kerry Administration would do, about anything.

ITD is Inconvenient Truth Disorder, most noticeable when a hot summer comes right after the release of a certain movie. Symptoms include gloating on days when the temperature goes up a degree or two, followed by sullen pouting when the temperature goes back down again.

Let us not forget QPS for (Un)Questionable Patriotism Syndrome, a mental disorder afflicting people who babble endlessly about their patriotism while blaming everything on their country, saying absolutely nothing good about anything their country has done lately, to the extent where they change the subject if they can’t find anything to criticize. Example: America helped the Tsunami victims in Indonesia — this leads to “America could have donated more than it did,” or, “yeah, and we squandered the goodwill by blah blah blah.” To say the USA done good on something, and leave it at that, is somehow out of the question. Oh yeah, and nobody had better question your patriotism.

GHS would be Gun Hating Syndrome. Self-explanatory.

SGD would be Second-Guessing Disorder…for when you come to learn about soldiers signing up to serve in Iraq, knowing full-well what they’re doing, and you chalk it up to the density and naivete of those young kids, failing to understand they’re being sold down the river for Halliburton’s oil. You know this, they don’t, because you’re oh so smart.

DSD is Daily Show Delusion…a mindset where you watch a certain entertainment program on a regular basis, and from this gather the impression that you’re becoming knowledgeable about news and world events.

INC is Impeachment Narcissism Complex, in which the subject becomes resentful when he doesn’t personally get to decide which U.S. President should be impeached by the House of Representatives, and which President should not be. “But this one told a lie that got thousands killed, where that one told a lie about a blowjob!” is the common refrain. Symptoms include a complete inability to figure out when the lawbreaking being investigated is based on sex acts, and when it is not.

Golly. Those didn’t take any effort at all. Maybe this will be my first book.

“HCD is Hillary Combat Disorder, wherein the subject is aroused with a great adrenaline rush to do a lot of arguing to defend the reputation of the junior senator from the state of New York, without understanding why.”

Because MoveOn.org said so! Fascist!
- Good Lieutenant | 06/26/2006 @ 08:38

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