House of Eratosthenes

I’ll go into my reasons in a bit; sorry to disappoint, but “xenophobia” doesn’t figure into it. But first, to demonstrate how little the chattering-class seems to understand me and the others who don’t receive the ad positively, a hilarious take-down by Matt Walsh…

It was a wonderful night. And then…then IT happened.

The Coke advertisement. Dear God — the Coke advertisement. It started out alright: some girl singing America the Beautiful while beautiful images of America flashed across the screen. But things went downhill fast. Suddenly, other people started singing the song in other languages. It was awful. I was furious. They were speaking in, like, Asian and Australian and stuff. Utterly horrifying. I told my wife to cover the children’s ears.

Out of nowhere, graphic depictions of other cultures and skin colors infested my TV screen. There was a brown one and, like, a Mexican guy or something.

Oh, the foreign languages and varying skin pigmentations!

I couldn’t stand it. Enraged, I grabbed my shotgun and blew a hole through the television. My wife could only weep, and through her tears she thanked me for saving her from the terrifying onslaught of multi-culturalism.

And that’s exactly what happened…in the fantasies of left-wing bloggers and journalists.

In the real world, I saw that commercial and reacted in a way similar to almost all of my fellow right-wing conservatives: I yawned and went to the kitchen for another beer. Then I proceeded on with my evening, not caring one way or another about Coca-Cola’s contrived marketing tactics. Admittedly, I have long since vowed to never drink Coke, but that’s only because I dislike diabetes, not because I’m upset about foreigners singing patriotic hymns.

So imagine my surprise when I went on the [I]nternet after the game to see social media abuzz over the “right wing backlash against Coca-Cola.”
:
Outrage! Firestorm! Backlash! Xenophobia!

Funny thing: these stories started popping up within minutes of the ad airing.

Loud, outspoken, obnoxious…strangers-on-the-innernetz. Solutions in search of problems.

Well as Obi-Wan Kenobi might have said, I’m the bigot they’re looking for; it’s a terrible, terrible ad. I don’t like the music, not because I can’t understand the words, but because at 0:18 there are way too many syllables. It just sounds awful, and if you disagree you aren’t being honest. But some might protest that this doesn’t get to the heart of what truly upsets me so, so let me walk the reader through my argument, with complete candor:

Many spoken languages do not make a good thing. Many spoken languages would be a plurality of one spoken language. One spoken language is a pain in the ass. Can we all agree on just that much? Yes you can do things with a spoken language that you can’t do without one; the same would be true of your job, or the car you use to get to it, if you’re overdue for trading either one of them in and can’t get around to it just yet. One language is like that. Especially English. It’s full of idiosyncrasies, ambiguities, and frustrating little gadgets that don’t work the way they should just like a car that’s past its prime. Many languages? That just multiplies the frustration without getting anything further accomplished. United States school students are still lagging behind, or were as of a year ago. Let’s fix that first. Then we can talk about beautiful, rich, robust tapestries of half-a-dozen languages, and something besides English being spoken at home.

The above has to do with pragmatism. What follows has to do with altruism.

Walsh provided an overview of his discoveries within the very few minutes after the ad hit the air:

Some of the headlines:

Coke Ad Draws Outrage, Praise (EW)

Coca-Cola Super Bowl Ad Inspires Racist Twitter Backlash (Mediaite)

Coca-Cola Ad Celebrates Diversity, Twitter Racists Explode (Huffington Post)

Coca-Cola Multicultural Super Bowl Ad Really Angered Conservatives (Talking Points Memo)

Coca-Cola’s Multilingual America the Beautiful Ad Sparks Conservative Outrage (AlterNet)

Coca-Cola Super Bowl Ad: Can You Believe This Reaction? (USA Today)

Coca-Cola’s America the Beautiful Ad Creates Social Media Firestorm (The Examiner)

America the Ugly: Coca-Cola Super Bowl Ad Provokes Xenophobic Outrage on Twitter (The Daily Mail)

I showed candor, up above. Let’s have everybody else follow suit, and let’s all just admit to the point of this. It wasn’t about celebrating the beauty of, or for that matter anything positive about, the United States. “America the Ugly” was the point. It was about scolding people who aren’t very well understood, may not even exist as they were imagined by the people who cooked up the ad, or those who salivated over it.

There is a story here, certainly. Coca Cola knew exactly how to poke the hornet’s nest; that means — can only mean — they knew exactly where it was and what the best poking-method would be. It’s been growing there for awhile.

But the imagined “bigots” are not that nest. It’s the people who are ready to do the scolding who are the problem. The virtue junkies.

They feel so smug and superior to people like me, because they’ve decided I should have positive feelings about an obnoxious ad and, it turns out, I don’t like it. Their lack of curiosity about people like me is the stuff of legends. I, on the other hand, would sell off all sorts of my possessions, and at a loss, to find out more about what motivates them. What causes this hair-trigger temper of “I’m better than that person who exists mostly in my imagination,” within someone who isn’t actually doing much of anything to make life better for anybody? What unleashes this torrent of energy to produce ads, or watch ads, then take to Twitter and unleash some tut-tuts about these imagined racists…or, to read those tut-tuts, and tut-tut in approval.

Generation after generation after generation burned away “fighting racism,” supposedly — and then celebrating “finding” it’s still there. It is celebrating, isn’t it? I mean, what else could we call it.

And why this undue expansion of the definition? When did racism come to mean “We’ve decided you should like this ad, and we think we caught you not liking it”? Is that really where things are now?

I don’t like the ad because it’s got too many syllables and it gives me a headache. I also don’t like what it promotes. It promotes, not a beautiful America, but a balkanized one. It promotes many-languages as opposed to just one, therefore it promotes confusion. Confusion and an omnipresent, hostile smugness.

America is still beautiful, to me. But in this day & age, it’s got way too much of both those things. Diet Pepsi for me, or just coffee, thanks.

I’ve never understood this line of thinking: “Hey, let’s gin up something that’s guaranteed to piss certain people off, because those people need to be pissed off…. and then let’s all have a huge collective freakout when they are, in fact, pissed off.” I guess this is why 98% of my college liberal arts classes made no sense to me.

Much less do I understand the idea of preemptive outrage. “Oh, I’m sure the wingnuts will be offended by this, so let me condemn them well in advance of their actual outrage… and if said outrage fails to materialize, I’ll interpret their comments that as some new, sinister form of outrage and post a five-part series on Daily Kos about it.”

Least of all do I understand how supposedly smart, “reality-based” people can keep falling for obvious corporate manipulation without questioning, even a teeensy tiny bit, if they’re actually as smart and reality-based as they think they are. I mean, if I’m like, wise to corporate tricks, man, and I won’t be, you know, fooled by Don Draper, dude, because The Man doesn’t own me…. then why the fuck do I keep doing exactly what The Man wants me to do, every single time?

I should get hooked on heroin or something. Maybe then liberal psychology would start making sense.
- Severian | 02/06/2014 @ 08:16
Welcome to our FAQ tree, because our previous experience with foreign outsourced accents, and actually knowledgeable representatives/script readers, was unexpectedly too ineffective and costly.
For English, press #1…..
- CaptDMO | 02/06/2014 @ 11:51
I wonder how the people of the countries of the foreign languages used in the commercial would react if the tables were turned?

Say if some usually popular product in say… Iran or another Middle Eastern country…was sung in English? Or in Mexico? Or, or…??? They’d be all copasetic, right?

Or if while in their country I needed some paperwork translating into English…certainly they would do that for me like pronto, no?

I mean, they certainly would welcome me with open arms if I crossed their border illegally, right?

And the fact that in just about every major city in the US there’s a Chinatown, or little Havana or or…I’m sure it’s just me and the rest of us “xenophobes” that notice the increased non-assimilation occurring in this country, right? To the point that Coke feels the need to make a commercial like this…sure, that’s a coincidence, right?

Don’t come to my country, shit on the floor and tell me it’s air freshener where you come from. This isn’t the place you left, which I can assume you did for many good reasons. Now deal with your new culture you choose live in and let go of what you left behind. It’s called good manners. And we prefer our cherished patriotic songs, for many, many, reasons, you’d be wise to learn, to be sung in the language we proudly, without apologizing, speak – English.
- tim | 02/06/2014 @ 13:36
Nice video. Thanks for posting.
- Zachriel | 02/06/2014 @ 18:29
“We’re just a little more protective of our environment here in San Francisco…“
- mkfreeberg | 02/06/2014 @ 19:12
Let’s see.
We can adhere to a common language, OR we can get all Tower of Babble on their asses.
Is this the REAL reason the incidental spawn of double secret super genius Brazinski (sp?) cites “Coke” as poison?
- CaptDMO | 02/07/2014 @ 08:15
“Dangerous levels of schmaltz“
- Zachriel | 02/07/2014 @ 09:32
Hey! Lookit that!! An embedded link!!

Evidently you dipshits can learn. Now y’all have to start working on the other four dozen-odd easy, obvious things that have been pointed out to you a zillion times….

But hey, it’s progress. Baby steps. Congratulations.
- Severian | 02/07/2014 @ 11:29
Stewart said he couldn’t believe that the Coke ad inspired such anger…

It’s almost as if liberals have to pay a special tax if they’re ever caught being honest about anything.

As the Walsh blog post proves, a lot of this incredulity about “such anger” predates the actual expressions of anger.
- mkfreeberg | 02/07/2014 @ 19:01
I remember seeing this ad during the Superbowl. My initial thought was some languages are not very musical. And I have a problem with the idea of a multiple languages being inherently superior to a single common language since communication suffers when there isn’t a common language in a nation.

When I lived in Germany, I learned German. I didn’t expect that they would all learn English to accommodate me. When I lived in Mexico, I learned Spanish. I didn’t expect that they would all learn English to accommodate me. When I knew I was headed to Singapore, I took a college class in Mandarin. I didn’t expect that they would all learn English to accommodate me. I didn’t expect it, but it turned out that they did speak English, which was fortunate since my Mandarin didn’t help at all with all my friends speaking Cantonese and Hokkien.

I think the commercial would have been better if it had been sung all in English, but by different people with different accents. Then the commercial could have celebrated people from different nations coming together in the united purpose of being Americans.

All of this ignores the issue that I think colas of any brand taste like malted battery acid. Blech.
- Captain Midnight | 02/08/2014 @ 08:46
Captain Midnight: When I lived in Germany, I learned German. I didn’t expect that they would all learn English to accommodate me. When I lived in Mexico, I learned Spanish. I didn’t expect that they would all learn English to accommodate me. When I knew I was headed to Singapore, I took a college class in Mandarin. I didn’t expect that they would all learn English to accommodate me.

Perhaps you didn’t expect it, but 64% of Germans speak some English, while 80% of people in Singapore do. Mexico lags with less than 5% English speakers.

Nice video, by the way. Thank you to mkfreeberg for posting it.
- Zachriel | 02/08/2014 @ 09:40
Since English is the official language of aviation worldwide, it would be logical to expect more English-language speaking citizens to be found within non-English-speaking countries, than non-English-speaking citizens within the United States, per capita (or within some other country that officially speaks English).

When the results are important and many people are contributing to those results — one language is the way to go. Multiple languages just for sake of multiple languages is something you do when your goal is…oh, I dunno…something like selling soda by annoying people just for the heck of it. You just can’t work that way when you’re flying planes around.
- mkfreeberg | 02/08/2014 @ 09:51
mkfreeberg: Multiple languages just for sake of multiple languages is something you do when your goal is…oh, I dunno…something like selling soda by annoying people just for the heck of it.

Or if you realize that society is becoming more global and more pluralistic with fewer monocultural fuddy-duddies.
- Zachriel | 02/08/2014 @ 09:56
Z: Perhaps you didn’t expect it, but 64% of Germans speak some English, while 80% of people in Singapore do. Mexico lags with less than 5% English speakers.

Oh, how utterly fascinating! By golly, my years of experience in-country certainly didn’t acquaint me with the nature of the native speakers there. Please, do go on citing factoids you gleaned from Wikipedia in your quest to appear erudite.
- Captain Midnight | 02/08/2014 @ 11:37
Captain Midnight: Oh, how utterly fascinating!

Glad to see your expectations challenged.
- Zachriel | 02/08/2014 @ 11:40
Huh…. so I guess they get off on infesting a thread until nobody is able to do anything but mock their idiotic obtuseness; then they get reamed for a while; then they jump to the next thread. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have an internet first…. masochist trolling.

Jesus, Cuttlefish, y’all are some fucked-up individuals. Seek therapy.
- Severian | 02/08/2014 @ 12:36
Nice video, by the way. Thank you to mkfreeberg for posting it.

From the other link I put up…

Language difficulties have played a role in various aviation crashes, this Wiki contribution will vividly highlight on two accidents highlighting the aspect of the lack of proper use of English or miscommunication due to the parties involved being non-native English speakers.

This is the world’s deadliest runway accident that occurred on the 27th of March 1977 when a Pan Am (PAA) flight 1736 collided with a KLM Flight 4805 in the Tenerife, Canary Island.
Although the usual terminology was used between ATC and the pilots confusion still arose due to misinterpretation2,due to language problems. The parties involved were speakers of Dutch and Spanish and although they used proper standard English it was not their native language. A good example of confusion is seen when the pilot of Pan Am was told to leave the runway on Taxi way three and the ATC had to repeat this instruction to the crew of Pan Am as the pilot actually heard 1st Taxi way on the first transmission of directions3 .They were 583 fatalities in this crash.

Five hundred eighty-three souls!! Small price to pay, I suppose, for more globalism/pluralism. Don’t want to be a monocultural fuddy-duddy or anything, and if 583 people end up dead I guess you just have to break some eggs to make a multi-culti omelet.

Y’all have made y’all’s position clear. Y’all think this is nice.
- mkfreeberg | 02/08/2014 @ 16:04
mkfreeberg: Small price to pay, I suppose, for more globalism/pluralism.

Huh? You mean everyone is the world should only speak English?
- Zachriel | 02/08/2014 @ 19:15
Huh? Y’all must think this…is “nice.”
- mkfreeberg | 02/08/2014 @ 19:31
mkfreeberg: Huh? Y’all must think this…is “nice.”

So people singing America the Beautiful in different languages causes fatal plane crashes?
- Zachriel | 02/08/2014 @ 19:40
So 583 people don’t count for anything huh?

Because they did die. It’s a fact. And the confusion that comes from this “nice” lots & lots of different languages, is what caused the crash. That’s a fact too.

But I guess you just have to break some eggs to make a multi-culti omelet. Five hundred eighty-three eggs or so, if you want it to be a “nice” omelet.
- mkfreeberg | 02/08/2014 @ 19:56
So you are saying that people singing America the Beautiful in different languages caused the plane to crash.
- Zachriel | 02/08/2014 @ 20:11
What I’m saying is that y’all have made y’all’s position clear. Y’all think this is “nice.”

Y’all are welcome for my posting of the “nice video,” by the way. Glad y’all thought it was nice.
- mkfreeberg | 02/08/2014 @ 20:15
No, we’re not fond of plane crashes. However, we did enjoy the video of America the Beautiful you posted. Thank you.
- Zachriel | 02/08/2014 @ 20:24
No, we’re not fond of plane crashes. However, we did enjoy the video of America the Beautiful you posted.

The appropriate authorities have determined that the higglety-pigglety hodge-podge assortment of languages, actually causes the plane crashes. That is why they made English the official language for aviation. There wouldn’t, couldn’t, be any reason why the several languages cause unacceptable failure there, and not anywhere else.

So y’all must think this is “nice.” Y’all have made y’all’s position quite clear.
- mkfreeberg | 02/08/2014 @ 20:36
Diversity! It’s great, always.

So, have some more diversity.
- Captain Midnight | 02/08/2014 @ 21:57
mkfreeberg: The appropriate authorities have determined that the higglety-pigglety hodge-podge assortment of languages, actually causes the plane crashes.

So you’re saying that the Dutch and Spanish shouldn’t be allowed to fly airplanes? Or are you saying the entire world must learn English from birth?
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 07:29
Neither one of those.

But y’all have made y’all’s position clear. Y’all think this is “nice.”
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 07:31
mkfreeberg: Neither one of those.

So, it’s okay for the Dutch and Spanish to fly airplanes. Then why did you bring it up?

mkfreeberg: But y’all have made y’all’s position clear. Y’all think this is “nice.”

Actually, we directly disavowed that position in a direct response to you. Is there a reason why you are continue to misrepresent our position?
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 07:36
Is there a reason why you are continue to misrepresent our position?

No misrepresentation here. Y’all think a dizzying kaleidoscope of languages, with the list growing beyond the audience’s understanding, is “nice.” The appropriate authorities have determined that such confusion causes deadly airplane crashes.

But, ya gotta break some eggs to make a “nice” omelet. Sometimes as many as 583 eggs…along with the hopes and dreams that were inside each and every single one of those eggs. Well hey, it’s not the first time a progressive Utopian vision required a few casualties.
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 07:57
mkfreeberg: Y’all think a dizzying kaleidoscope of languages, with the list growing beyond the audience’s understanding, is “nice.”

Sure we do.

mkfreeberg: The appropriate authorities have determined that such confusion causes deadly airplane crashes.

It’s reasonable that a single language be used in international aviation—which it is.
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 08:00
If it’s reasonable that a single language be used in international aviation, then it is similarly reasonable that a single language be used in anything else that is worth doing.

It’s a false choice to say, either we have to have this confusing and expanding mish-mash of languages, or Dutch and Spanish people should not be allowed to fly airplanes. Intelligent people should be able to find a middle ground somewhere; and, it would seem the international aviation community has managed to do that. Equal opportunity for everyone, but one common language.

The above have to do with logic. The following has to do with personal sensibilities:

It is telling that yourselves — and, to be fair about it, many, many others — equate this “nice”-ness with confusion. The other side of that coin would be: Clarity can be unpleasant and harsh. I would certainly agree with anyone making that observation. But unpleasant & harsh things are not always bad things, just like the schoolteacher who’s constantly riding you and cussing you out, years later, turns out to be one of the few teachers you can recall as having been effective. Like Bill Gates said, bad news should travel quickly.

Can y’all come up with a reason why it would be desirable to use one language when flying an airplane, but not when engaging any other human endeavor? We want to succeed at whatever we’re trying to do at any given time, don’t we? From ordering a sandwich to driving a car to walking down the sidewalk.
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 08:19
mkfreeberg: If it’s reasonable that a single language be used in international aviation, then it is similarly reasonable that a single language be used in anything else that is worth doing.

Um, no. As you pointed out, a single language is important for safety reasons in international aviation, but that safety concern doesn’t apply to people singing.
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 08:22
So the singing is celebrating a sense of confusion that, if it were to be applied to other human endeavors, would result in hundreds of people being killed violently. Fascinating.
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 08:31
mkfreeberg: So the singing is celebrating a sense of confusion that, if it were to be applied to other human endeavors, would result in hundreds of people being killed violently.

Quite the strawman you’re beating there.

The fact is that people speak many different languages. Most people find that a beautiful aspect of human culture. Sorry you find it offensive. It only serves to narrow your own perspective.
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 09:07
The fact is that people speak many different languages. Most people find that a beautiful aspect of human culture. Sorry you find it offensive. It only serves to narrow your own perspective.

I’m missing out on what, exactly? Is it possible for y’all to precisely define something, when it seems y’all have built a value system around failing to define things?

We all have narrow perspectives. We’re all born ignorant, and we’re all going to die that way. Of the limited time we have to learn about things, in what way is it “beautiful” to waste that finite resource on restating exactly the same ideas using different sequences of syllables?

Knowing that, repeating this exercise in certain vocations, would endanger the lives of hundreds of people and might very well get them killed. Isn’t there a certain beauty involved in understanding things, enabling oneself to do things that actually matter?
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 09:15
mkfreeberg: Is it possible for y’all to precisely define something, when it seems y’all have built a value system around failing to define things?

Values are subjective. We’re rather found of the simians. Consider it a peccadillo, if you like.

mkfreeberg: Knowing that, repeating this exercise in certain vocations, would endanger the lives of hundreds of people and might very well get them killed.

Sure. Not sure that singing is one of them.
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 09:18
Values are subjective. We’re rather found of the simians. Consider it a peccadillo, if you like.

Interestingly, the simians have to use English to fly anywhere.

Including, overseas, to get to another country, to celebrate the diversity of these beautiful non-English-speaking cultures. The pilot of that plane is going to have to speak English.

That’s an apt metaphor for many other social activities right now. Progressivism is “beautiful”…subjectively…until you start to think about what depends on what.
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 09:24
mkfreeberg: Interestingly, the simians have to use English to fly anywhere.

Well, they’ve agreed to use English for international aviation.

mkfreeberg: “beautiful”

«η ομορφιά είναι στα μάτια αυτού που βλέπει»

mkfreeberg: Progressivism is “beautiful”

Not sure that is entirely true, but human diversity is beautiful, much better than xenophobia. But that’s just us. Like we said, it’s just a peccadillo of ours.
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 09:38
I agree. If by “peccadillo,” what y’all really mean to say is “phobia.”
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 09:41
mkfreeberg: If by “peccadillo,” what y’all really mean to say is “phobia.”

No. We’re rather fond of the English-speaking people too. Especially that Willie Shakespeare. Had a real way with words. He’s had quite a few successful movies lately, we understand.
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 09:46
Seems to be a conflict between those who seek to achieve understanding, and those who seek not to. Y’all have already admitted that the celebration of this diversity of languages, is about the diversity sprawling beyond comprehension.

This, along with y’all’s latest entries, would suggest the real “beauty” is being found in incoherence. So, yeah, y’all can count me out of that. Enjoy y’all’s mental-junk-food. Some of us have to get things done, and make sure they work.

Just like the English-speaking pilot of y’all’s planes.
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 10:01
mkfreeberg: Y’all have already admitted that the celebration of this diversity of languages, is about the diversity sprawling beyond comprehension.

«η ομορφιά είναι στα μάτια αυτού που βλέπει»
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 10:03
Morgan,

At least you’ve got the cutting and pasting their banalites in a different script now. That’s progress, I guess. Google has been such a boon to fautous poseurs….

PS Zachriel: मेरे डिक चूसना
- Severian | 02/09/2014 @ 11:38
Severian: At least you’ve got the cutting and pasting their banalites in a different script now.

Yes, the Greeks should have said it in English so people could understand them.
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 11:42
The paragraph that begins with a mention of Obi-Wan Kenobi contains an adequate rebuttal to «η ομορφιά είναι στα μάτια αυτού που βλέπει».
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 11:46
…as does this image…

«η ομορφιά είναι στα μάτια αυτού που βλέπει»?
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 13:14
mkfreeberg: The paragraph that begins with a mention of Obi-Wan Kenobi contains an adequate rebuttal to «η ομορφιά είναι στα μάτια αυτού που βλέπει».

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_UsmvtyxEI
- Zachriel | 02/09/2014 @ 13:37
I think this is an adequate rebuttal to anything the Cuttlefish cut and paste. And I even put it in Greek, because apparently that’s their thing now.

Η μητέρα σας είναι μια πόρνη

Please ban these idiots.
- Severian | 02/09/2014 @ 13:48
I dunno. They seem to be aptly representing exactly what went wrong with healthcare.gov. And the United Nations. And Great Society. And the ACA. And the ADA. And the Warren Supreme Court. And Superfund. And Keynesian economics. And Alger Hiss. And the League of Nations. And Detroit, Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore…

…it all seems to start with a drive to use up precious “bandwidth,” a finite resource, on restating the same ideas over and over using different representations. And, if the theory meets up with reality, the idea that reality should yield in any irreconcilable conflict, and the theory should prevail, hence — they never learn anything. There isn’t any situation possible that would ever inspire them to.

Except maybe a democrat losing an election.

We should study people like this very closely. Just don’t let them manage anything that actually matters…like building a bridge, for example.
- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 14:05
I see what you mean…. but I’ve also seen all I need to see.

They are incapable of learning anything of importance. Look how long it took them to discover how to embed a hyperlink (something they still haven’t mastered, though I guess one of the Borg collective has managed it). Whether this is a learning disability, a religious tenet, a deep-seated psychological issue, or (probably) some combination of the three…. well, does it really matter at this point?

If facts and logic could permeate their brains, they’d have learned something long ago. They haven’t– cf. hyperlinks.

If solid arguments could persuade them, they’d have changed at least one of their opinions on something long ago. They haven’t — they’re still cutting and pasting the same talking points from 2005.

If shame and mockery could do it, they’d have fled the scene long ago. But they seem to enjoy coming here and getting reamed.

They’re just going to keep reiterating the same brainless variations of the same worthless talking points. If you feel you need the Zachriel perspective going forward, why not just whip up a quick Obtuseness generator? They’ve got about five stock responses that they combine in about six different ways. A few lines of code, and boom, you’ve got Zachriel 2.0. And at least you could shut the fucking thing off from time to time….
- Severian | 02/09/2014 @ 14:39
Yep, I can see that side of it.

- mkfreeberg | 02/09/2014 @ 15:25
Heh. Nice.

Though I suppose programming the ObtuseBot 5000 would require keeping them around, at least through beta testing. How could you tell you’ve got your Snotty Link subroutine or your Feigned Incomprehension callback precisely calibrated?
- Severian | 02/09/2014 @ 15:45
I got fed up with them back when they tried to tell me that China “must” curb its greenhouse gas emissions, and ignored me when I responded, “Not gonna happen evenif you’re right…and no one can force them to. They have been clear about that and without their cooperation, your efforts are doomed.”

I got another round of what the Chinese must do, for my trouble. Around and around. I think the last straw was having them ignore my article about the political leanings of Jesus and argue with me in the comment thread anyway, trying to get me to rehash what I had already explained.
- cylarz | 02/18/2014 @ 09:19
cylarz: I got another round of what the Chinese must do, for my trouble.

Actually, we pointed out that China is already working to reduce their emissions, and that while international cooperation may not be inevitable, it is certainly feasible. The Chinese want to have a major role in global affairs in the future. As a fifth of the world’s population, this is certainly reasonable.
- Zachriel | 02/18/2014 @ 10:06
It has to happen then!! Wonderful!

So we just got to see exactly what CylarZ was talking about…and as a bonus, we get insight into why the healthcare.gov launch went the way it did.

Fellow citizens within our midst, who are just as certain about future events, as they might be about memories from the past. Inability to comprehend the simple intellectual concept of uncertainty. Inability, or unwillingness.
- mkfreeberg | 02/18/2014 @ 19:54

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They’re Talking About Me, Although Maybe They Don’t Know ItThursday, February 6th, 2014

They’re Talking About Me, Although Maybe They Don’t Know It
Thursday, February 6th, 2014