Interesting take on things. Bound to arouse some passionate feelings somewhere, one way or t’other.

Here, I’ll go ahead and spoil the highlights.

1. Ford Pinto.
2. Chevrolet Cavalier.
3. Chevrolet Astro.
4. Ford Taurus.
5. Ford Explorer.
6. Jaguar X-Type.
7. Hummer H2.
8. Toyota Prius.
9. Chrysler Sebring.
10. Jeep Compass.

Can’t skip this, it’s what House of Eratosthenes is really all about. What an awesome job.

With thanks for the find to Gerard.

Because I’m so sick of talking about that guy…the one in the White House, y’know…

…of eggs and meat. Just the toxic asset to stimulate your economy.

Diminished Expectations was chagrined to learn this wasn’t real. As were we.

Playing darts, with cars, of course. And it’s our jolly friends across the pond at Top Gear, of course.

I should add a note that if you can watch all five minutes of this with a straight face, then congratulations. You have a verginer. Maybe two of ’em.

Embedding for this YouTube clip is disabled. I can’t explain why. We live in a universe in which all things are not required to make sense. Bloody sorry about that.

Two good ones arrive by e-mail…

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar.

Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

The suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

There’s that one…and then the other one is a little bit less, uh, politically-correct.

Ft. Worth, TX – 13 Mar 09

Ft. Worth Police today reported finding a John Doe male body in the Trinity River.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was only wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on dildo, and an Obama T-shirt. He also had a 12″ cucumber inserted into his rectum.

The police thoughtfully removed the Obama T-shirt to spare the victim’s family any unnecessary embarrassment.

Forbes.

I’m trying to get over my male chauvinist pig ways…but there’s stuff written for the gals (Livetime TV, Danielle Steele made-fer-teevee movies, Dr. Quinn, et al), and there’s things like the beauties below, written for us. Which one is more rewarding to, and more demanding of, abstract, cognitive thought…which one…which one…knowwhatimean??

Gotta do this folks, I’m so sick of talking about what’s-His-name. Y’know?

No, not an adjustable rate mortgage…your arm. The thing sticking out from your shoulder, with the hand at the end.

Just a picture, sure to come in handy. Many times.

On YouTube (embedding disabled by request), here.

Background: These three guys are columnists for motor magazines, in jolly old Great Britain. For those who aren’t familiar with the show, James May, the long-haired one, is the most methodical — in everything, which causes tremendous angst when the show is all about some kind of race. Which it very often is. That’s why he’s called Captain Slow. Naturally, they put him in charge of driving.

The objective here was to figure out what is the big deal with camping in a motorhome. Over there they call it “caravaning.” None of the three were big enthusiasts before embarking on the test-adventure, so they decided to broaden their horizons and, well, see if you can figure out how their opinions might have changed.

Top Gear is best thought-of as on par with professional wrestling. Maybe-scripted, perhaps not, and enjoying a huge cult following of people who delight in trying to figure out if things are scripted (fun to think it isn’t, but to the thinking mind, the answer is obviously yes).

These guys are not good at “caravaning”…which makes this episode one of the best. I should add that the whacky hijinks ensue for a good deal more than ten minutes, and there’s a hilarious interaction with a cop that seems to have become a casualty of the rather brutal editing process here.

Update: They race my favorite car, the 16-cylinder thousand-horsepower Bugatti Veyron, against an airplane, here. The challenge: Restaurant in London needs a truffle. Truffles are grown in northern Italy. Airplane gets a truffle, Bugatti gets a truffle, see who can get it to London first.

Don’t run from the cops if the manufacturer of your car is an automaker called “Tonka.”

Call it a low-speed chase.

A brown Buick sped past a Madison police officer who was using a radar gun to check for speeders Thursday morning in the 2200 block of Pennsylvania Ave.

When the officer tried to get the Buick to pull over, the driver floored it, according to a police incident report.

Apparently, the car’s engine didn’t like that.

“The suspect’s car did not handle this tactic well and experienced a significant mechanical problem,” the officer’s incident report says. “It turned the pursuit into a very low speed affair – about 15 miles per hour.”

The driver and passenger jumped out of the car about a mile away from where the chase started. The driver was found hiding on someone’s screen porch. Police later tracked down the passenger.

The driver, a 19-year-old Madison man, was arrested on preliminary charges of speeding, resisting, eluding and trespassing, police said. A passenger, who is a juvenile, was tentatively charged with resisting, according to police.

I love the way cops talk sometimes…”car did not handle this tactic well and experienced a significant mechanical problem.”

Read, maybe submit some ideas of your own.

Hat tip: My newer favorite silly-blog, Busty Superhero Chick. Even without superpowers, she’d be awesome! Check her out.

“What is a good line I can use on the girl sitting next to me?”

Linked without further comment.