Archive for the ‘Glad I Learned About This’ Category

Imitation is the Sincerest Form XXII

Friday, June 13th, 2008

It has to do with the notion that we can get a better deal out of our industrialists by making it more expensive for them to deal with the rest of us.

Me, quoting me, on the fourteenth of March:

…there’s a prevailing viewpoint that the labor market has become soft for those seeking work; there’s a prevailing viewpoint that this is due to the “outsourcing of jobs” by “big companies”; and there’s a prevailing viewpoint that, to fix this, we need to elect someone who will raise taxes on those companies.

On Tuesday, I directed this concern toward the oil and gas companies. And I allowed myself some optimism that perhaps, just perhaps, our sanity might be recovered sometime this summer.

I mean, how much longer can this go on, where the man in the street is NOT yet saying “waitaminnit…duh…these ‘conservative’ guys, er, that’s a good point. You charge them evil awful oil guys more tax money and this somehow results in me paying a lower price at the pump, how does that work again??”

At some point, that question has to get answered. When enough people are asking about it.

I do not know if cartoonist Michael Ramirez of the Investor’s Business Daily reads my blog. I have always been inclined to presume that nobody, or hardly anybody, does. But then how else do you explain this gem which appeared on Wednesday (of which we learn by way of fellow Webloggin contributor Absurd Report)?

I’ve been robbed, but I’m not calling the police. I’m quite flattered.

Former President Carter, of all the deeply disturbed individuals of whom I’ve come to be aware, stands alone as the one that most deeply disturbs me. Consider the following:

We fired him.

His personality was just fine by us. After four years of his policies, we figured out the resulting wreckage was too high a price to pay for a toothy grin and appealing personality.

Upon being fired, Carter did not say (nor did any of his few remaining fans, to the best I can recall) you’ll be sorry you dirty rotten so-and-sos. Or…I respect your right to vote for the wrong guy and look forward to the day you finally see the error of your ways.

He hasn’t said anything like that since.

When he talks about how wonderful his policies are, he doesn’t; he simply drones on about how miserable other peoples’ policies are. He says we “need” to talk to our enemies but he doesn’t discuss what the benefits are of doing this. He just rambles on about how we should be doing it.

In other words — neither he, nor those who see things from his point of view, will belly up to the bar and proffer an argument that his policies are good. That they will serve our interests. And they certainly won’t proceed from there to explaining, in step by step fashion, exactly how and why these policies would result in the things we say we want.

He talks us into our destruction and he seems to intend to. He doesn’t admit this is what he’s all about — but he doesn’t put forth even some token, ritualistic steps toward pretending anything else.

And to the best I can see, everyone in our country who likes him, was born after he got fired.

But forget about Carter. From what I’ve observed, whenever he earns the title of “dignified elder statesman” by re-defining it to mean some old buzzard who can’t shut up — his topic is foreign policy. There may be some news somewhere of his signing on to this nonsense about “bring the gas prices down by taxing the snot out of the people who make it.” I wouldn’t be surprised. My knowledge base says, his visible support for this took place mostly when he was in charge. He serves here, not as just another loudmouthed pundit, but as something far more valuable — a historical anecdote.

This is an interesting discussion my girlfriend is having with her mother fairly often lately. Throughout most of recent history, America has had a Republican President and a democrat Congress. During that time, our economic performance has been disappointing much more often than it has been pleasing. How do we evaluate what’s going on when the economy disappoints, with a Republican President and a democrat Congress?

Our democrats like to point to this bill being passed and that bill being vetoed, and war, war, war. But there’s this budget being passed every single year. Through the line-item veto, the White House has sought to have some say in that thing, and been denied. This is not part of the executive power, the Supreme Court said. This would transgress on “separation of powers.”

Okay, so the government’s budget is not what the President does. So when the government’s budget pisses in it’s own boot…we look to Congress when it’s time to point fingers, right?

Congress also decides things that relate directly to gas prices. Like the above-mentioned taxes. And, of course, the drilling. No, no, no, no, no, says Congress! You can’t drill there! There’s some crapglobbler penguin that might be endangered, and then the knobchogging mango shrimp is gonna get an upset tummy from the derrick booms, and the this or that other silly thing is “pristine.” Can’t do it. Gotta keep buying barrels from Osama bin Laden. Alrighty then. Bush the frat boy President had six years to mess up our gas prices, and all of the tightening and ratcheting he was able to pull off, was up to somewhere around $2.50 a gallon. That’s a pretty lackluster job of trying to screw us over, George Bush the fratboy President.

No, to really unleash his potential and mess things up, he needed a Jimmy Carter Congress. Hello, four-dollar-a-gallon gas! Five-dollars, we’re coming! Shouldn’t be long! And it’s easy to explain why. Drilling and not drilling…supply and demand…taxes.

The Jimmy Carter Congress, as it is explained in Ramirez’ cartoon, wants to fix things again by doing things the way they’ve been doing them to bollux them all up. We’ll show you, you greedy sunzabitches, we’ll lay down a windfall profits tax.

Now that Ramirez has put my idea into pictorial form, I’m less inclined than ever before to back down from it. At some point the gas consumer has to ask the question I said he’d be asking. I save money…when you guys make it more expensive for people to sell the product to me…how?

And it’s going to be frustrating trying to get an answer. Because nobody, least of all the people backing that plan, is alleging that a lower per-gallon gas price is what is supposed to happen.

And among we who lived through Carter’s four-year winter, it’s understood that this is an assertion upon which we should insist, before the discussion proceeds any further.

While you’re waiting — have you signed Newt’s petition yet?

72 Virgins Dating Service

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

H/T: The Sudden Curve.

Ten Worst Male Products Ever Created

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

Wrong!These go in the file folder marked “To Be Opened When Someone Says We’re Living In A Man’s World And Is Ready To Argue About It”.

I can deal with a chest toupee, but some of these things that were headed for the patent office a century and some change ago…the ones that deal with the nether regions, y’know? Know where I’m going with this?

Makes me wonder how & why we’re still here. Seriously. Ladies…you want to bitch away about earrings and high heels? Study up here first.

H/T: Ace.

One Ring, To Rule Them All

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

He hasn’t gotten her a ring yet

Does my boyfriend owe me a ring?

Dear Bossy: I’m wondering if you can help me. My partner and I have been together 4.5 years. Within two months, we were engaged. I was 24 and he was almost 22. I still am waiting for an engagement ring.
:
It has been quite a painful experience as I have watched many of my friends get engaged, be given a ring, get married and have babies whilst I still wait for my engagement ring. I finally decided to do something about this situation and with his blessings (he was away for two weeks), went engagement ring shopping with a girlfriend. Of course I found The Ring and totally fell in love with it that night and put it on layby for 6 months. It totalled $6,500 which I kind of felt was justified seeing how long I had waited for this ring.

I thought the whole thing was made-up until I got to…

Truth be told, we have had financial issues throughout this 4 year period. However, he has never put aside any money for a ring and is only considering buying me one now because I have said that I want to get married next year.

This comes right after a meandering story about how she went “ring shopping” and found something perfect that costs $6,000, and found out after the fact he’s only wanting to spend about half that.

I have to drop my skepticism at that point. I’m obliged. I’ve lived through this…finances ruined because someone has the attitude “if you get it and you pay for it and it didn’t cost enough to be painful, something is terribly wrong.” It’s the number one financial mistake made by our young people.

“Bossy” launched into an answer I thought was pretty sensible:

Gosh there’s a lot of tit-for-tat in relationships these days. For those not familiar with old-fangled language, tit-for-tat means seeking repayment for one type of injury with another. You see a lot of it in schoolyards. “You won’t give me a lolly so I won’t be your friend.” Or the adult version: “You won’t buy me a ring, so I won’t marry you.”

I can understand you wanting a ring. Rings are symbolic. And sentimental. You want something beautiful you can look at that symbolises your love. What I find incomprehensible is that you have agreed to marry your boyfriend and yet you are prepared NOT to marry him because he won’t provide you with a piece of jewellery of the right value. It’s ridiculous.

Two big lessons are being missed here. One — the lady of a castle is royalty within that castle and must see herself as such. If she labors toward the financial destruction of the castle, the castle will not stand and she’s not going to come out of the deal too happy & whole either.

Very common problem. Some of our girls fancy themselves to be “liberated” and then once they latch onto a guy, don’t behave that way. There’s this attitude of money being his; it usually follows a request that he spend it a certain way, at which time, for whatever reason, he declines. Okay then, buster. If I can’t say how this is spent, then it must not be mine, and if it doesn’t belong to me then it damn well isn’t going to belong to anyone else either.

From that point onward, if the bills are all paid and there’s still fifty bucks left in the bank account…why, that’s untenable. Something’s been left unfinished. Need to fix that.

The second things is closely related to the first; it’s causative of it. It’s the notion that just because an emotion is understandable, it must be acted-upon. It must manifest a thirst that will be fatal if it goes unslaked. In this case, the reverse is true. If the household winds through year after year and decade after decade never having any money left over, then everyone who lives in that household will be injured.

Emotions can be quite understandable, and yet, we’re all still better off if they’re just ignored. Especially when it comes to fighting over jewelry.

How many things do people buy that cost six large? The television set will give you everything you want if you pay a third to a quarter of that…and that leaves…the house and the car. Isn’t that ridiculous. Your three big ticket items are the roof that protects you from the elements, the car that shuttles your ass around……….and a rock that does nothing.

DeBeers, when archeologists and anthropologists form their theories about what destroyed our civilization thousands of years from now, your name is going to pop up high on the list.

Attention Ladies: During Sex, Do NOT Call Your Boyfriend

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Especially if he has a history of criminal violence:

Toni Milton, 38, mistakenly dialled Neil O’Brien’s number on her mobile phone while she was making love to her ex-boyfriend, a court heard.

O’Brien, 41, said the sound of his girlfriend sleeping with another man caused him to flip out. He drove to her house and stamped on her face so hard he left a shoeprint, Leicester crown court heard.

He was jailed for 15 months after a judge said even the “unusual circumstances” of the incident would not save him from prison.
:
The court heard the couple had been together for six months, but the relationship had hit a rocky patch. When O’Brien went to stay with his parents in Exhall, Coventry, Miss Milton invited an ex-boyfriend to her home in Barwell, Leicestershire.

Mr. O’Brien has prior convictions for violence and “grievous bodily harm.”

The story itself is less interesting than some of the comments on FARK. There arises, in particular, a certain mindset of the variety of…how shall I say it…

“Okay look, what she did is wrong and I am not trying to justify it, don’t you dare try to insinuate that I am, but he really, really, really should not have done that.”

These people are confused about the meaning of “should not have.” They’re trying to communicate a thought that the English language will not afford them the means to communicate — because if you were to slide a questionnaire under their nose and it said “Question 1 — she should not have done that, true or false” they’d pick True. And don’t you dare insinuate that they wouldn’t.

So the ideas that find words upon which to hang, assert the a) She should not have done what she did and b) he should not have done what he did. The logical conclusion to draw from this is that these were equivalent transgressions.

This, obviously, is a complete opposite of what these “He should not have done that” types are trying to say. Clearly, there are two tiers of “should not have” at work here. They are suffering from language-inspired cognitive dissonance.

And I further infer that these people are not living in a land of reality, because their more excoriating level of “should not have” is antithetical to common sense cause-and-effect. If I hold a bowling ball chest high and let go of it, it should crash to the ground — and if I say it “should not have” I’m going to be a certain brand of dimwit. I think all rational persons would agree to that. Similarly, if a woman has a boyfriend with a history of assault convictions, has some kind of a tiff with him, separates, sexes up some other ex-dude and then calls up the violent supposedly-current dude on her cell phone in the middle of carnal acrobatics…it’s lunacy to promote some expectation that nothing will happen.

Cunning PlanIn other words, they’re imposing an expectation of civilized behavior, upon someone who has no history of showing it. In so doing, they are, in fact, excusing her and if they don’t realize this, it really doesn’t matter. Once the boyfriend shows a proclivity for thuggish behavior, he ceases to be civilized. Once he ceases to be civilized, he becomes essentially a force of nature. A wild bear, or a puddle of gasoline. To lapse into addle-minded automaton condemnations of his predictable behavior, is to pronounce she should have an ability to hold a match to that puddle of gasoline without consequence.

Oh, and the bit about dropping the phone and having it land on redial — sorry, not buying it. You can parade all the cell phone models past my nose you care to, and intone to me with righteous indignation “yeah, you drop this thing it hits redial all the time!” all you want.

She was gettin’ boned, and she wanted her stud to know all about it. She pulled a Nicole Simpson. Furthermore, there’s no reason whatsoever to doubt that she picked the thuggish stud in the first place, because he was a thug. Turned on by the “bad boy.” This is why the “he should not have done it” stuff turns me off. If I was a gambling man, I’d bet some serious money he got picked in the first place because “should not” doesn’t apply to his kind. It doesn’t even begin.

She harnessed a dangerous, overly-masculine energy, and sought to control it and toy with it for her amusement. It’s very common. Kind of a female version of asking your brother bubba to hold your beer, and yelling “watch this!” What happens next is seldom good. At that point, you’re wrestling not with a civilized consciousness quite so much as with forces of physics and nature. And it’s by choice.

Having said that — yeah. Fifteen months sounds about right. No big miscarriage of justice here, on either side. She got a big surprise that comes from natural-consequence cause-and-effect, kind of like the kid who sees a bear cub in an open field and adopts it as a pet. Or the guy who takes a whiz on an electric fence. He inflicted assault and got a jail term. Although I think three years would have been a little bit closer to the mark. But, whatever.

Hurry Up You Hoosier Bastards

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

The eleven most badass last words ever uttered.

I kind of liked this one…

I’ll be in hell before you start breakfast! Let her rip!

Last Words Of: Tom “Black Jack” Ketchum, convicted murderer

Tom Ketchum was a thief, a murderer and worst of all a “morning person.” It’s why he had such tremendous verve despite his hanging being so early in the day. No executioner should be subjected to racket like this before their coffee has kicked in.

It’s probably why Ketchum was “accidentally” afforded some additional slack in the line which caused him to be decapitated when he dropped through the gallows. Ooopsie.

I think that happened quite a lot back in the day. Not much point to making a diary entry about it, after all. I mean — what’re you gonna do when it happens? Point at the noggin rolling around on the ground and yell “Ooh! Faux pax!”

Kos Hates the Microsoft Spellchecker

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Via Weaselzippers.

Psst, Microsoft? “Obama” is not a misspelling. And suggesting “Osama” is bad form.

Moulitsas’ ranting can be found here.

Speaking of…that guy whose name we’re trying like the dickens not to mention…

It’s interesting that Kos is offended in the exact opposite direction by the end of the Tuesday Midday Open Thread.

Given the dearth of diversity at the Washington Post editorial page, it’s offensive that one of the few women on their pages is this one.

That would be Anne Applebaum, being dutifully taken apart by liberal blog, Sadly, No! Her crime? Asking the question that is the moonbats’ favorite rhetorical this year — is there racism behind every otherwise legitimate complaint about our Messiah? — but pointing it in the wrong direction.

Fred Hiatt’s Concubine Speaks. You Listen.

Republicans have started wracking their brains for clever ways to say, without appearing racist, that Obama’s skin color is a reason not to vote for him. Not so long ago we had Tony Blankley saying that not voting for someone because of their skin color wasn’t bigotry or racism, it was “demographic consciousness.” Now the loathsome Anne Applebaum, a distinguished member of the WaPo editorial board, hits it out of the park with this column where she argues that people shouldn’t vote for Obama because some foreigners are racist.

Permit me a bunny trail here.

Anne Applebaum never said people shouldn’t vote for Obama…not for any reason. Not within this column, in any case. She lays on the accusation good and thick, and carves even-handedly with a double-edged sword insofar as what the political consequences overseas from an Obama presidency; she’s silent on what we ought to do about that.

But — she has accused people of being racists, who aren’t Americans. Kos and Sadly have decided the R-word is to be thrown around this year only to make Obama the next President, and for no other reason, and so they start throwing it at her. Interesting.

This engine which drags us, like a tugboat dragging an aircraft carrier, toward voting for the least qualified candidate by calling us racists if we dare show an ounce of skepticism — it’s an interesting construct, that engine is. It’s a powerful little beast, but it runs hot. Applebaum’s column could be interpreted, reasonably, as an exhortation to vote for Obama because once he gets in we’ll show those racist Europeans that change is in the air and there’s no stopping it. But the hot-running engine chugs away, burning itself out, as all the finger-wagglers start waggling their fingers at each other, feeding on their own.

It brings to mind a comment I made here & there about the supposedly-upcoming Wonder Woman movie. The dormant status of the picture, now, is a direct result of “creative differences” that emerged when it was a moving, vibrant project that enjoyed funding and talent. My idea is, therefore, that the movie will not be made any time soon and probably cannot be made in our current eon. Simply re-designing Wonder Woman’s uniform, let alone re-thinking the more complicated components — what powers does she have, anyway, and are we going to get rid of that invisible jet? — elicits accusations of sexism in all directions, for whatever reason. Another powerful engine running hot, burning itself out before it accomplishes anything.

The real tragedy, of course, is that this creates an environment in which it’s exceedingly difficult for anything to be done except by one of those dreaded white guys. Someone of a designated minority group achieves a position of prominence, and likelihood for better things…and behind him arises a battalion of nanny-do-gooders screeching away, essentially, “Do Everything My Way Or Else You’re A –Ist!” And before anything gets done, they turn on themselves. We saw it with Hillary: You’re a sexist if you point out she’s crying, and you’re a sexist if you tell people it doesn’t matter.

So. Now you’re a racist if you don’t have the word “Obama” loaded into your spellchecker. (I added it to mine weeks ago, so my test with Microsoft Word didn’t get anywhere.)

I think the lesson here is that accusing people of things is a great way to stop something, but a lousy way to keep it going. If you want to get something done, and you’re working with other people to get it done, sooner or later you’re going to have to resign yourself to the idea that some things aren’t going to be done your way. Obama is very promising as a candidate for our next President — even now, you’d be nuts to bet anything against him — but there’s a powerful argument for calling the whole thing for McCain right this very minute. When his own supporters can be counted on to call each other racists any time they disagree on how this-or-that should be done, it becomes a lot like the Wonder Woman movie. A cancellation “due to creative differences” becomes not only easy, but inevitable.

Oh well. Better that kind of stalling-out and seizing-up happen to the Obama candidacy, than to the entire nation.

Now excuse me. I’m going to go run my spellchecker. If you want to accuse me of something, please be gentle.

Cartoons About Arguing on the Innernets

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Rachel Lucas has posted one that is obviously built to be swiped, and I shall accommodate.

My Better Half confirms with those three magic words…”yup, that’s you.”

Nevertheless, it still doesn’t quite capture the forces at work like this classic animated GIF:

On the other hand, you know what they say about consistency

So I would hope if there’s something consistent about arguin’ on them innernets, it’s the outcome…in which I reliably lay the SMACK down.

But ultimately, isn’t it an improvement that we can interact with each other even we don’t agree? I’m old enough to remember when it was all about a big clunky television set, filled with some old white guy’s face as he told us what to think. You could feel the brain cells dying as you watched it.

Now, we may look silly while we argue with each other…but even to put forth some stupid arguments you must first engage the brain, and therefore keep it alive.

It’s a step up, in my opinion.

And if you don’t agree, I’ll argue with you. Endlessly, stopping only occasionally to yell over my shoulder, “be there in just a minute, dear.”

The Most Commonly Used Passwords

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

So after hitting the “play” button on this slideshow, how long does it take before you let out a Homer Simpson type of “D’Oh!”

H/T: FARK.

Indiana Jones Body Count

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Obama’s Gaffes

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

A couple days ago I had made the observation that Barack Obama and yours truly are opposites in nearly every conceivable way.

I’m going to have to retract that somewhat. I have found something that brings us together.

Reflecting on myself with some humility and honesty, I am forced to confess that I make some mistakes and missteps when I speak in public, too.

H/T: Gateway Pundit, via Ace, via Rick.

Rubber Man

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

He fell fifty feet from a third-story balcony. But so relaxed were his muscles, from a plurality of his vices, that he just went…boing

Theo Paget, 20, has been dubbed “rubber band man” by doctors after his miracle escape.

He jumped up and ran off after the fall.

Doctors say he should have died in the third-storey fall – but his muscles were so relaxed from a cocktail of booze and drugs that he absorbed the impact.

Pals and hotel security in Marmaris, Turkey, searched for him for two hours before he strolled back into the lobby complaining of a sore back.

He actually was hurt — diagnosed at the hospital with a spinal fracture — but he didn’t know it. The cocktail took care of that, too.

Cue the Lloyd Bridges references.

H/T: FARK.

Triplets

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

Well, Bubba’s old lady had been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. So, he took her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, “Hey, Bubba! You just had you a son!”

This excited Bubba, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, “Hold on, son! We ain’t finished yet!” The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, “Hey, Bubba! Hey, you got you a daughter!”

Bubba got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor says, “Hold on, we ain’t finished!” The doctor then delivered another boy. He said, “Bubba, you just had another boy! But don’t worry, ’cause that’s it!”

So, Bubba and his wife went home with the three children. When they got home, they sat down and began talking. Bubba said, “Mama, you remember that night that we ran out of Vaseline and had to use that 3-in-1 Oil?”

She said, “Yeah, I do.”

Bubba said, “Well, it’s a good thing we didn’t use no WD-40!”

H/T: Miss Cellania.

She has m-u-c-h more good stuff. If you have not yet made her acquaintance, head on over.

Amy G and her Kazoo

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Is it safe for work?

Ah…y’know…anything I say is going to be subject to legitimate challenge. Even “there’s no definite answer to that” would be subject to legitimate challenge. Use your discretion.

There. You’ve been warned.

Finally, A Solution to Global Warming

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Via Bookworm.

Like Underpants Without Cling-Free

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Twenty-five funniest analogies from high school essays, from Writing English.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
:
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
:
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
:
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

This blogger has been known to grasp for similes, metaphors, nouns and adjectives…much more awkwardly and much more frequently than his readers would expect (I hope). So in consideration of self-interest and good old-fashioned humility, if nothing else, I counsel restraint.

But great googly moogly, those are funny.

H/T: Bookworm.

Ryan vs. Dorkman 2

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

You may recall the original chapter was impressive enough — came out somewhere right after The Phantom Menace. Haven’t been able to find it on YouTube. I’ll keep looking.

Great job.

Update 6/2/08: Commenter pdwalker nailed down the first chapter here. Catch Ryan Wieber’s website here.

Some are of the opinion that this is even better:

Little Too Much Magnesium

Sunday, June 1st, 2008

Just about got it perfected…

Fake, maybe. Dunno. Fun to watch.

Don’t try this at home, kids.

Update: A compilation of some stuff that’s more real, IMO. At least, I have faith in the authenticity of the feats caught on film. In the authenticity…in the common sense of the perpetrators, not quite so much.

Changing of the Guard

Monday, May 26th, 2008

Thank you.

And to the rest of us, if & when you see the vet out there, in front of the store with his donation can — do make a point to drop something in. It’s the very least you can do.

Hyperhistory

Saturday, May 24th, 2008

…is here. Uber-cool timelines, millenium-to-continent matrices, maps galore.

H/T: Maggie’s Farm.

Ballard School of Driving

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

I thought I imagined the whole thing…every single split-second of it is just as hilarious as the day I saw it, when I was still living there.

Gerard, this is for you. You’re there today, so you know why.

Wasp Cookies

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Mmmm…hmmm…

Acme Catalog

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Via Wheels Within Wheels, yup, it’s exactly what you think it is.

Thing I Know #142. What we call “cartoons”…they have a coyote and a road-runner, or else they’re CRAP. No exceptions.

Kilts Were Invented by English

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

This one speaks for itself. H/T: FARK.

The last book written by the late Lord Dacre of Glanton also states that the Declaration of Arbroath, which confirmed Scotland’s independence in 1320, is plagued with inaccuracies and details of “imaginary” kings.

He argues that Scotland’s literary, cultural and political traditions, which are claimed to date back from Roman times, were largely invented in the 18th century.

The book, titled The Invention of Scotland: Myth and History, is to be published at the end of this month, five years after Lord Dacre died of cancer.

Its controversial findings debunk many of the cultural arguments for Scottish independence, and are likely to fuel the current heated political debate over the country’s constitutional future.

Lord Dacre, formerly Hugh Trevor-Roper, concludes in the book: “In Scotland, it seems to me, myth has played a far more important part in history than it has in England.

“Indeed, I believe the whole history of Scotland has been coloured by myth; and that myth, in Scotland, is never driven out by reality, or by reason, but lingers on until another myth has been discovered to replace it.”

KiltHe claims that the “myth” of the ancient Highland dress was perpetuated by historians to provide a symbol by which Scots could be universally identified, as well as to support the country’s textile industry.

The traditional dress of the Highlanders was in fact a long Irish shirt and a cloak or plaid, he states, and only the higher classes had woven in stripes and colours creating tartan.

“The kilt’s appearance can, in fact, be dated within a few years,” he reveals in the book.

“For it did not evolve, it was invented. Its inventor was an English Quaker from Lancashire, Thomas Rawlinson.”

He claims Mr Rawlinson decided to shorten belted plaids after workmen in the Highlands, where he was staying, said they were uncomfortable.

Kind of interesting. Being of swedish descent, I can understand the frustration of having significant historical events taking place when & where, for some reason or another, nobody was particularly inclined to write ’em down. I guess about the time of the Battle of Bannockburn, the typical scot had other things on his mind.

Of course, Rob Roy does the best job of illustrating exactly why the garment was invented. And even if that isn’t quite accurate, it’s always fun to watch Tim Roth get sliced in half the wrong way.

Superdickery

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Makes SenseLois Lane jumps the bones of anybody wearing a colorful cape. Jimmy Olson shows what a good “pal” he is by trying to kill the Man of Steel over and over again. Lana Lang gets super powers…thousands of times. Lois and Superman get married and divorced and married and divorced, more times than Elizabeth Taylor and Larry King combined.

What are Batman and Robin doing? Probably something you can’t even print up nowadays.

Hurry up and click on the graphic, pronto, lest you come under the delusion that these titles might somehow make some sense. You’re welcome.

The The Impotence of Proofreading

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Fred Thompson on Judges

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Also via Pajamas Media.

Tagger Gets Tagged

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Yes, I like. Hotel Manager Dion Cooper caught the tagger red-handed, which is already pretty good…then he asked the tagger to stop and clean-up. The tagger gave him a bunch of guff.

So he grabbed McKelvey and his thick green paint pen and started drawing on his face.

“I asked him, ‘How do you like that, mate? How do you like being drawn on?’ I put a bit on his clothes, said, ‘Oh sorry, mate, I’ve just wrecked your clothes, like you wrecked my wall, how did you like it?”‘

He then tossed McKelvey into the garden bar, and threw the pen at him.

“There were about 80 to 100 people cheering.”

The story goes on to say the tagger learned his lesson, after being sentenced to 150 hours community service. He’s good & sorry. Yeah…sorry he got caught.

Dion Cooper, I like your style. H/T: FARK.

Tuba Player 1, Bratty Kid 0

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Via Boortz.

Beer: The Conservative Beverage

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

As I’ve written before a few times, it being a recent obsession of mine: Conservatism is all about the symbiotic relationship pre-existing — liberalism is all about requiring a governmental program to make one. Conservatives believe, before we even begin to figure out what we’re going to do on any given day, separate classes are already united in common struggles and laboring under common interests. Liberals believe each class is tearing at the jugular of the next one…or else, is having it’s jugular so targeted by the previous one.

That’s what the issues are all about. All of them. Each and every single one, even the ones that appear to be constructed upside-down from this. Terrorism, for example, in which conservatives say we should carpet-bomb the terrorists and liberals say we should drink tea with them. That isn’t about a symbiotic relationship with the terrorists, you know; the terrorists already decided whether or not that was possible, when they started trying to kill us. That issue is about the inherent right to self-defense: Liberals don’t think we’re worth it. Still think liberals are all about universal brotherhood? Here, try this. Lift up all the pablum a liberal has to say about terrorists, how we need to look for “common ground” with them, hear their “grievances,” “negotiate,” make “peace.” Now take all those empty catchphrases, strip them of all the euphemisms for “terrorist” and in the place of those words, put in “conservative” and “Republican.”

Will the liberal still step up to those words and put his name under them?

I rest my case.

But I digress. Liberals don’t think labor shares common interests with management, straights share common interests with homosexuals, women share common interests with men, ethnic share common interests with whites. They don’t believe in any of that stuff. When they want to do something, half the time, supposedly it has to do with making such a symbiotic relationship where it didn’t exist before. The other half of the time, they want to give special privileges and rights to one class, at the expense of another. But they never, ever, ever believe any two classes among us can be swimming in the same direction…can help each other out…can both mutually benefit from a common action.

Voice your belief in Trickle-Down economics, for example — and a whole gaggle of liberals will be down your throat, chastising you, scolding you, bullying you, screeching away. It isn’t that they know you’re wrong. It’s that they can’t afford to have anyone thinking this way.

With that in mind:

Beer: The conservative drink.

Yes, I know they didn’t title it that way, and they aren’t presenting it that way, for they cannot afford to. But it’s true. And there’s a reason this fills you with pleasant thoughts. It’s the way the Good Lord built you. We’re all God’s children. Except for those hate-filled scumbags who walk Creation for no greater purpose than to snuff a few of us out.

Beer: Celebrating our universal brotherhood and our inherent sense of togetherness, Republican style.

H/T: Buck. Although, of course, my raving lunatic liberal-bashing comments are my own, as always.