Archive for the ‘Everyday Dimwits’ Category

What Motherhood Is Not

Sunday, May 11th, 2008

My household is a motherless household. My kid has a Mom and my girlfriend has a Mom, so when you spiral outward to extended families that’s about all the Mom-hood you find. So other than reminding all among you who have Moms to give ’em a call, I don’t have too much to say here.

Except for a warning. There are many among our future and past-moms who seem to think class and fidelity are mutually-exclusive things; they’re worshiping Mrs. Robinson, Ann Bancroft’s character from The Graduate, as a role model. Yes, they are; it’s true. Perhaps their moms can do something about this before it gets any further out of hand, and so help to preserve the institution.

It’s not indestructible, you know. Motherhood does have weaknesses and as an attribute of culture, it can become shriveled, withered, twisted and mutated from what it once was. Made useless, in other words.

And anyone who doubts that prospect, can feast their eyes on this find from blogger friend Rick: And gosh…I…just…don’t…know…how…to…tease…this

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, Planned Parenthood, the nation’s largest abortion business, has a message for moms: send us more money. Cecile Richards, the president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, sent out a fund-raising request this week one pro-life advocate says is grotesque.

Richards honored Mother’s Day by sharing part of an editorial her daughter wrote saying she got her pro-abortion views from her mother and grandmother, former Texas Gov. Ann Richards.

“It’s true that I have had lots of rewarding moments in my career. So did my mother,” Cecile wrote in the email LifeNews.com obtained. “But knowing that my daughter is carrying on the legacy of fighting that my mother passed to me trumps ’em all.”

Celebrating Mother’s Day by raising funds to perform abortions…thereby stopping motherhood in it’s tracks. Celebrating womanhood by honoring a woman with Narcissistic Personality Disorder who betrayed both her daughter and her husband.

Mothers, your daughters are in danger.

When men are being idiots, typically they’re shouting things to each other like “If Iraq is such a good idea, how come you’re not there, you chickenhawk?” Yes, that’s pretty much stuck on stupid right there…it’s a betrayal of what manhood is supposed to be, in which manly men challenge other men to be manly men, rather than belittling third-parties for showing that respect to the manly-men. Manhood is suffering from an ailment in which wimpy men dare to bully real men into becoming wimpy men, rather than the other way around. But there is a common affliction among females, something several orders of magnitude beyond this — although the common thread of betraying the foundation of the gender in question, remains. Our girls, in addition to confusing real-women with phony-women, are also confusing loyalty with treachery, order with chaos, honor with ignominy.

Or at the very least, are tempted to.

Celebrating Mrs. Robinson. My goodness.

Mrs. Robinson has a presence as she enters a room. Her smile radiates the energy that she will share with those who accept it. Most are intrigued as she walks with poise and welcome in her glance. Those lucky enough to join her will be greeted with a gentle yet firm hand, a delicate kiss or a warm embrace. Her words are composed of praise and inspiration. Those who listen will do so intently, and often enjoy great laughter. Her plan to make the environment in which she resides a place of comfort and joy is instantly revealed. Thank you, Mrs. Robinson, for your class within the laws of attraction. I look forward to my continued education in the art of fulfillment. Submitted by Ms. Smith, San Francisco [emphasis mine]

Pure Yang, in other words.

Bat Female Villain RepellantAnd brazen infidelity…

Mrs. Robinson would buy the shoes, seduce the man, kiss the boy, protect the innocent, forget her pantyhose, wear the lingerie, upset the balance, hear the neighbors, play the game, forget her bank account number, lust after the pool boy, decide to remember, desire the wrong one, mistake her pregnancy test and generally, love her unbelievable life. That’s what Mrs. Robinson would do. Submitted by Ms. L. Miller, San Francisco

Mrs. Robinson, in the movie, left a wake of dysfunction, distrust, misery, anger, intense sadness, suffering, confusion, broken relationships, shattered pieces of where a family once stood, and general chaos. To see her celebrated as a feminist icon, to me, is shocking. Just as much so as seeing a solicitation for abortion funds in “celebration” of Mother’s Day.

Anonymous, as quoted by Cassy Fiano in her follow-up post to the whole “real men” exchange, I think nails shut the difference between womanhood as many seem to see it, and womanhood as it can exist to earn the respect they crave:

…from the male perspective, sex is the greatest compliment that a woman can pay to a man. A woman who sleeps around devalues the compliment.

Just something to think about, ladies. Back in the days when timeless legends were written, did we play to the male fantasy by having the knight in shining armor slay the dragon so he can scale the walls of the impenetrable fortress, and wait for his turn to gang bang the princess? Nope. In the same way the princess paid her compliment to the knight, the knight paid the princess a compliment by deeming her worthy of facing down that dragon and near-certain death. It’s a timeless tale about enduring love and respect, not about a roll in the hay. In fact, the closing scenes of your favorite movie, Mrs. Robinson fans, reprises this timeless tale yet again. And Ann Bancroft ends up being one of the dragons. Weren’t you paying attention?

Maybe, just maybe, some of the gals in the Mrs. Robinson Society will follow a trackback here, and learn what they need to learn. If one mind can be changed, so the cliche goes, then it’s worth it.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Tagger Gets Tagged

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Yes, I like. Hotel Manager Dion Cooper caught the tagger red-handed, which is already pretty good…then he asked the tagger to stop and clean-up. The tagger gave him a bunch of guff.

So he grabbed McKelvey and his thick green paint pen and started drawing on his face.

“I asked him, ‘How do you like that, mate? How do you like being drawn on?’ I put a bit on his clothes, said, ‘Oh sorry, mate, I’ve just wrecked your clothes, like you wrecked my wall, how did you like it?”‘

He then tossed McKelvey into the garden bar, and threw the pen at him.

“There were about 80 to 100 people cheering.”

The story goes on to say the tagger learned his lesson, after being sentenced to 150 hours community service. He’s good & sorry. Yeah…sorry he got caught.

Dion Cooper, I like your style. H/T: FARK.

Tuba Player 1, Bratty Kid 0

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Via Boortz.

I Made a New Word XV

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

bo∙lus∙te∙mo∙lo∙gy (n.)

A portmanteau of e·pis·te·mol·o·gy:

…a branch of philosophy concerned with the nature and scope of knowledge. The term was introduced into English by the Scottish philosopher James Frederick Ferrier (1808-1864).


…and bo∙lus

A soft, roundish mass or lump, esp. of chewed food.

Bolustemology, therefore, describes a system of intelligences and beliefs that cannot be justified or proven by any means intrinsic to the consciousness that maintains such things, because they have been pre-chewed and/or pre-digested by someone else. Bolustemology is soft and squishy intellectual matter, warm, wet, smelling of halitosis, more than likely infected with something. When you offer it to someone, you may be offering to put forth the effort they themselves cannot sustain, so that they can be nourished. But it’s far more likely that you’re engaging in an exercise to make them feel fed, without doing the necessary chewing…because you don’t want them to.

Very few among us will ‘fess up to consuming bolustemology, so infatuated are we with the fantasy of thinking for ourselves about everything. But at the same time very few among us can speak to the issue because most of us have not bothered to become bolus-aware. This is demonstrated easily. Last month, for example, Presidential candidate Barack Hussein Obama was forced by the inflammatory words of his bigoted pastor and spiritual mentor, to speak to the issue of racial disharmony. And so, swaggering to the podium as if it was his idea to do this, he droned on in that Bill-Clinton-like crowd-pleasing way of his for a few minutes, after which we were offered prime tidbits of bolus such as

Obama speech opens up race dialogue
Will it stand alongside the great speeches in US history?

:
Several students of political rhetoric suggest Senator Obama’s moving speech in Philadelphia Tuesday could stand with some of the great speeches in American history.

True, say some, the Democratic presidential candidate was forced into giving a speech that would explain his relationship to the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr., the outspoken minister of Obama’s church, known for some antiwhite and anti-American sermons.

While argument continues over whether Obama’s explanation was sufficient, his speech did seem to achieve this: It has sparked a conversation about race relations, one of the frankest Americans have had since the civil rights era.

And

The Obama speech was also a topic of discussion on Wednesday at the Washington office of the National Council of La Raza, a Hispanic advocacy and social welfare group. Hispanics can be white, black or of mixed race. “The cynics are going to say this was an effort only to deal with the Reverend Wright issue and move on,” said Janet Murguia, president of La Raza, referring to the political fallout over remarks by Mr. Obama’s former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., which prompted Mr. Obama to deliver the speech.

But Ms. Murguia said she hoped that Mr. Obama’s speech would help “create a safe space to talk about this, where people aren’t threatened or pigeonholed” and “can talk more openly and honestly about the tensions, both overt and as an undercurrent, that exist around race and racial politics.”

If there are any facts to back up this conclusion that the Obama speech stands alongside the great speeches of U.S. history…that it opens up a “race dialog”…that it creates a safe space to talk about this, where people aren’t threatened or pigeonholed…or where they can talk more openly and honestly about the tensions that exist around racial politics…such factual foundation is missing from the stories I’ve linked, altogether, and it’s missing from every single other item of discussion about this speech. The facts simply don’t back up any of this. Nor can they, because this is all a bunch of stuff that would be judged by each person hearing the speech. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. And the ivory-tower types writing about it in such sugary tones know nothing about this, nor can they.

No, the factual foundation says the “cynics” are quite correct. Obama’s speech “was an effort only to deal with the Reverend Wright issue and move on.” In fact, you don’t need any cynicism to conclude that. All you need to have is a decent and functional short-term memory.

But our High Priests of journalism, rushing to the press with their editorials built to be printed up in the wrong sections of the respective papers, weren’t interested in factual foundations, logical conclusions, et al. Nope, that’s all out of scope. They were all about bolustemology. About pre-chewing the food for others. About bludgeoning and cudgeling. About giving total strangers instructions about what to believe.

Obama may very well have given his speech in service of purely altruistic and idealistic motives. In doing so, he may very well have accomplished his stated goal of “opening up a national dialog” or some such…created a sounding board of safety for those who otherwise would have felt threatened participating in such an exchange. All those things could, in theory, be true. But all who desire to think independently for themselves, or at least to be thought of by others as capable of doing this, should be offended at the manner in which these cognitions were being handed to them. Valid cognitions have no need for pre-chewing. Each thinking recipient can figure it out for himself or herself. Yet, here, the pre-chewing was rampant.

I have some less subtle examples of the same thing in mind, in case the race-dialog item fails to illustrate the point properly. Michael Ronayne, about whom we learn via Gerard, distills the latest eco-bullying episode for us quite elegantly:

For the background, you can turn to JunkScience, which has a decent write-up including the e-mail exchange between a BBC reporter and a climate-change activist, reproduced in entirety here:

I have been emailed the following correspondence, purportedly between an activist, Jo Abbess, and BBC Environment reporter Roger Harrabin. It would appear that the result of the email exchange between the activist and the reporter was that the BBC changed its story. In particular instead of reporting the story as received from the World Meteorological Organisation, the BBC modified the story as demanded by the activist who was concerned that in its original form it supported ‘the skeptics’ correct observation that there has been no warming since 1998.

From Jo, April 4, 2008

Climate Changers,

Remember to challenge any piece of media that seems like it’s been subject to spin or scepticism.

Here’s my go for today. The BBC actually changed an article I requested a correction for, but I’m not really sure if the result is that much better.

Judge for yourselves…

from Jo Abbess
to Roger Harrabin
date Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 10:12 AM
subject Correction Demanded : “Global temperatures ‘to decrease’”

Dear Roger,

Please can you correct your piece published today entitled “Global
temperatures ‘to decrease’” :-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7329799.stm

1. “A minority of scientists question whether this means global
warming has peaked”
This is incorrect. Several networks exist that question whether global
warming has peaked, but they contain very few actual scientists, and
the scientists that they do contain are not climate scientists so have
no expertise in this area.

2. “Global temperatures this year will be lower than in 2007”
You should not mislead people into thinking that the sum total of the
Earth system is going to be cooler in 2008 than 2007. For example, the
ocean systems of temperature do not change in yearly timescales, and
are massive heat sinks that have shown gradual and continual warming.
It is only near-surface air temperatures that will be affected by La
Nina, plus a bit of the lower atmosphere.

Thank you for applying your attention to all the facts and figures available,

jo.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

from Roger Harrabin
to Jo Abbess ,
date Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 10:23 AM
subject RE: Correction Demanded : “Global temperatures ‘to decrease’”

Dear Jo

No correction is needed

If the secy-gen of the WMO tells me that global temperatures will
decrease, that’s what we will report

There are scientists who question whether warming will continue as
projected by IPCC

Best wishes
RH

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

from Jo Abbess
to Roger Harrabin ,
date Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 10:37 AM
subject Re: Correction Demanded : “Global temperatures ‘to decrease’”

Hi Roger,

I will forward your comments (unless you object) to some people who
may wish to add to your knowledge.

Would you be willing to publish information that expands on your
original position, and which would give a better, clearer picture of
what is going on ?

Personally, I think it is highly irresponsible to play into the hands
of the sceptics/skeptics who continually promote the idea that “global
warming finished in 1998”, when that is so patently not true.

I have to spend a lot of my time countering their various myths and
non-arguments, saying, no, go look at the Hadley Centre data. Global
Warming is not over. There have been what look like troughs and
plateaus/x before. It didn’t stop then. It’s not stopping now.

It is true that people are debating Climate Sensitivity, how much
exactly the Earth will respond to radiative forcing, but nobody is
seriously refuting that increasing Greenhouse Gases cause increased
global temperatures.

I think it’s counterproductive to even hint that the Earth is cooling
down again, when the sum total of the data tells you the opposite.
Glaringly.

As time goes by, the infant science of climatology improves. The Earth
has never experienced the kind of chemical adjustment in the
atmosphere we see now, so it is hard to tell exactly what will happen
based on historical science.

However, the broad sweep is : added GHG means added warming.

Please do not do a disservice to your readership by leaving the door
open to doubt about that.

jo.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

from Roger Harrabin
to Jo Abbess ,
date Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 10:57 AM
subject RE: Correction Demanded : “Global temperatures ‘to decrease’”

The article makes all these points quite clear

We can’t ignore the fact that sceptics have jumped on the lack of
increase since 1998. It is appearing reguarly now in general media

Best to tackle this – and explain it, which is what we have done

Or people feel like debate is being censored which makes them v
suspicious

Roger

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

from Jo Abbess
to Roger Harrabin ,
date Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 11:12 AM
subject Re: Correction Demanded : “Global temperatures ‘to decrease’”

Hi Roger,

When you are on the Tube in London, I expect that occasionally you
glance a headline as sometime turns the page, and you thinkg “Really
?” or “Wow !”

You don’t read the whole article, you just get the headline.

A lot of people will read the first few paragraphs of what you say,
and not read the rest, and (a) Dismiss your writing as it seems you
have been manipulated by the sceptics or (b) Jump on it with glee and
e-mail their mates and say “See ! Global Warming has stopped !”

They only got the headline, which is why it is so utterly essentialy
to give the full picture, or as full as you can in the first few
paragraphs.

The near-Earth surface temperatures may be cooler in 2008 that they
were in 2007, but there is no way that Global Warming has stopped, or
has even gone into reverse. The oceans have been warming consistently,
for example, and we’re not seeing temperatures go into reverse, in
general, anywhere.

Your word “debate”. This is not an issue of “debate”. This is an issue
of emerging truth. I don’t think you should worry about whether people
feel they are countering some kind of conspiracy, or suspicious that
the full extent of the truth is being withheld from them.

Every day more information is added to the stack showing the desperate
plight of the planet.

It would be better if you did not quote the sceptics. Their voice is
heard everywhere, on every channel. They are deliberately obstructing
the emergence of the truth.

I would ask : please reserve the main BBC Online channel for emerging truth.

Otherwise, I would have to conclude that you are insufficiently
educated to be able to know when you have been psychologically
manipulated. And that would make you an unreliable reporter.

I am about to send your comments to others for their contribution,
unless you request I do not. They are likely to want to post your
comments on forums/fora, so please indicate if you do not want this to
happen. You may appear in an unfavourable light because it could be
said that you have had your head turned by the sceptics.

Respectfully,

jo.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

from Roger Harrabin
to Jo Abbess ,
date Fri, Apr 4, 2008 at 11:28 AM
subject RE: Correction Demanded : “Global temperatures ‘to decrease’”

Have a look in 10 minutes and tell me you are happier

We have changed headline and more

Remember: Challenge any skepticism.

Now look at that graphic up there carefully: Blue is the old stuff, green is the post-capitulation, post-bend-over, post-take-it-up-the-chute-from-Ms.-Abbess stuff. And then read the nagging again…carefully. Jo Abbess doesn’t take issue with the facts presented, for she can’t — they’re facts. Facts iz facts. She objects to the conclusions people may draw from them, and nags this guy until he changes the presentation to her liking, so people will draw a conclusion more in line with what she expects. She’s trying to sell something here. Challenge any skepticism.

There are other examples around, if you simply take the effort to become bolus-aware and look around. There is, for example, the sad tale of Richard Warman. His Wikipedia page contains four major categories as of this writing: Legal activism; Canadian human rights tribunal; Political activism; References. Who is he? The wonderful glittering text in the main article informs us…

He is best known for initiating complaints against white supremacists and neo-Nazis for Canadian Human Rights Act violations related to Internet content. In June 2007, Warman received the Saul Hayes Human Rights Award from the Canadian Jewish Congress for “distinguished service to the cause of human rights”. He holds a BA (Hons.) in Drama from Queen’s University, an LLB from the University of Windsor, and an LLM from McGill University.

He’s a Nazi hunter! Wow, what a great guy! And he’s got letters after his name and everything.

But a quick visit to the “Talk” page reveals some intriguing conflict:

You removed what I believe were valid entries in support of the of criticism of Richard Warman.

You claim that the entries are not “encyclopedic”. Please explain what you mean, provide an example, and a Wikipedia reference in support of your position. Note also that one of the references was to another article in Wikipedia.

I am going to assume for the moment that you are acting in good faith, and will not censor valid criticism. Then there should not be too much difficulty in finding criticism of which you approve, since Richard Warman’s complaints before the CHRC are currently one of the most widely discussed topics on Canadian blogs. I provided just two references, whereas there are hundreds of others.

The entries you removed are:

Critics have charged that Warman abuses the intent of the Canadian Human Rights Act by personally appearing as the plaintiff in the majority of CHRA section 13 “hate speech” cases which have been brought before the Commission, a former employer of Warman. – – Critics further charge that many CHRC “hate speech” complaints such as Warman’s have had a chilling effect on the human right to freedom of expression.

I look forward to your prompt, reasoned response. Thank you.

Another piqued Wiki contributor writes in with an inflammatory sub-headline:

Bias in article maintenance and corrupt admins

This article is being maintained by politically motivated individuals trying to protect the information from being changed at all costs by removing any reference to well-sourced articles that don’t shed good light on this individual. These same individuals and admins have engaged in slander in other articles

What are these unflattering tidbits about Mr. Warman? Well, it seems lately he is in conflict with Ezra Levant, having served papers on the publisher. Levant paints a different picture of the former Human Rights Commission lawyer:

Today I was sued by Richard Warman, Canada’s most prolific – and profitable – user of section 13 of the Canadian Human Rights Act. As readers of this site know, Warman isn’t just a happy customer of section 13 and its 100% conviction rate, he’s a former CHRC employee, an investigator of section 13 thought crimes himself. In fact, he was often both a customer and an investigator at the same time.
:
It’s impossible to criticize section 13 without criticizing Warman, because without Warman, section 13 would have been defunct years ago – almost no-one else in this country of 33 million people uses it. I’d call it “Warman’s Law”, but I’ve already given that title to another law enacted because of Warman. Warman’s Law is a law brought in by the B.C. government specifically to protect libraries from Warman’s nuisance defamation suits. (We should find some way to set up a Warman’s law to protect universities from Warman, too.)
:
The more I learn about Warman, the more I write about him. And, like the CHRC, he hates public exposure. Earlier this year, Warman’s lawyer served me with a lengthy Libel Notice, which I posted to my website here, with my commentary on it here.

Again — you may read all of the above and end up still a big, slobbering fan of Richard Warman. You may decide to dismiss all of the reservations people like Levant have against him…which might be fair, since Levant is a defendant and Warman is a petitioner. You should expect that inviting Levant and Warman to dinner on the same night and seating them next to each other, would be a plan deserving of a re-think or two.

But…wouldn’t you want to know some of the less flattering things about Mr. Warman? Especially if you’re sufficiently interested in him to go look up the Wikipedia entry about him? Well, it turns out at least some of the Wikipedia admins don’t seem to think so. They think you should only know the flowery parts. Or at least, they’ve so far come up with some wonderful excuses for excising anything else from the article.

Hell, I’d sure want to know about this:

* Complaints filed to CHRC: 26
* Former employee and investigator at the Canadian Human Rights Commission
* In December 2006, the Law Society shows he works for the Department of National Defence
* Education: degree in Drama from Queens University
* Member: Law Society of Upper Canada and EGALE Canada
* Gave a Keynote speech to the Violent Anti-Racist Action
* Warman is a frequent poster on “Neo-Nazi” Stormfront website
* Warman is a frequent poster on “Neo-Nazi” VNN website.
* Pretends to be a woman named “Lucie”
* Has signed his posts with “88” (according to Warman means: Heil Hitler)
* Has called Senator Anne Cools a “nigger” and a “c*nt” on the internet

And I’d want to know what Mark Steyn had to say yesterday:

He has been the plaintiff on half the Section 13 cases in its entire history and on all the Section 13 cases since 2002. There are 30 million Canadians yet only one of them uses this law, over and over and over again, which tells you how otherwise irrelevant it is to keeping the Queen’s peace. Section 13 is, in effect, Warman’s Law and the CHRC is Warman’s personal inquisition and the Canadian Human Rights Tribunal is Warman’s very own kangaroo court. Whether or not the motivations were pure and pristine when this racket got started, at some point his pals at the CHRC and the “judges” of the CHRT should have realized that the Warmanization of Section 13 doesn’t pass the smell test: Justice must not only be done, it must be seen to be done, and when you see what’s done at the CHRC you understand it’s a cosy and self-perpetuating romance between a corrupt bureaucracy and its favoured son.

But the over-zealous Wiki editor(s) says no. They’re taking the Soup Nazi approach with these nuggets of unflattering information about Mr. Warman. Not-a For You!

Lying by omission — that’s a perfectly good example of bolustemology.

Perhaps you’ve heard of Matthew LaClure. He’s just like Richard Warman, it seems…standing for our rights, in his satin tights, and the old red white and blue-hoo-hoo-hoo…

Matthew LaClair, of Kearny, NJ, stood up for religious freedom and the separation of church and state in the face of ridicule and opposition. During his junior year in high school, Matthew had a history teacher who promoted creationism and other personal religious beliefs in the classroom. When Matthew confronted the teacher and asked the school officials to address this, he became the target of harassment and even a death threat from fellow students. Despite this opposition, Matthew worked with the ACLU of New Jersey to make sure that the First Amendment is respected and upheld at his high school. Matthew won the battle at his school and thanks in large part to his advocacy, the Student Education Assembly on Religious Freedom was created at his high school so that all members of the school community will understand their rights and responsibilities.

There follows an essay from the young LaClair about what he did, what happened to him as a result, and how it changed him. I suppose it might be encouraging to some who share his and the ACLU’s values, such as they are…but regardless, you have to notice the phrase “civil liberties” is peppered throughout, with negligible definition about what exactly this two-word cliche is supposed to mean.

I hope that what I did encourages others to stand up for civil liberties. I want to take what I have learned from this situation and apply it to other situations I will experience in my life. I now have a greater chance of making a bigger difference in the world, and I think that the experience will serve to expand my abilities further.

To figure out what “civil liberties” he’s droning on about, you have to consider what exactly it was that he did. And what he did was…start mouthing off at teachers when he was asked to stand for the pledge of allegiance. So the civil liberties in question would be…uh…the civil liberty to sit there while everybody else stands. Well, gosh, it turns out to the extent kids have that civil liberty post-LaClair, they had it before he ever came along. How about the civil liberty of doing that without some strutting martinet getting in their faces about it? Well, no change there either.

In the final analysis, the ACLU is making their apotheosis because Master LaClair mouthed off like a little brat. Any fantasy involving any more nobility than that, is bolustemology and nothing more.

But what’s he done for us lately, you might be asking? Glad you asked. Matthew LaClair, who has no axe to grind here, nosiree, has again impressed certain segments of the halfway-grown-up community by making a big ol’ racket about…exactly the same kind of stuff as last time.

Talk about a civics lesson: A high-school senior has raised questions about political bias in a popular textbook on U.S. government, and legal scholars and top scientists say the teen’s criticism is well-founded.

They say “American Government” by conservatives James Wilson and John Dilulio presents a skewed view of topics from global warming to separation of church and state. The publisher now says it will review the book, as will the College Board, which oversees college-level Advanced Placement courses used in high schools.

Matthew LaClair of Kearny, N.J., recently brought his concerns to the attention of the Center for Inquiry, an Amherst, N.Y., think tank that promotes science and which has issued a scathing report about the textbook.

“I just realized from my own knowledge that some of this stuff in the book is just plain wrong,” said LaClair, who is using the book as part of an AP government class at Kearny High School.

Yyyyyyeah. Uh huh. Just kind of blundered into that one, huh? Kinda like Murder She Wrote…have to wonder what dead body you’re going to find next week.

Just plain wrong. How interesting. Especially when one takes the trouble to actually read the report from the Center for Inquiry.

Unlike Matt LaClair, I’ll encourage you to do so. But just in the interest of saving time, the report boldly confronts six distinct areas of “just plain wrong” ness: global warming; school prayer; same sex marriage; constitutional government and “original sin”; the meaning of the Establishment Clause; and the significance of the Supreme Court’s denial of a writ of certiorari.

Of those six, the fourth and last are the two items that represent, in my mind, what you might call “a real stretch.” The CFI takes issue, there, with small snippets of the textbook in question, and reads meaning into them so that the whistle can be blown. For their criticisms to stand, a certain interpretation has to be applied to these snippets. The fifth objection is probably the most durable because it’s clear to me it is the best-researched. But here, too, the phrase “last minute” has to be given a literal interpretation (in the context of the time frame in which the First Amendment was ratified in the late eighteenth century) — so it can be properly debunked. So with all of the final three of the subjects, the authors of the textbook under review could respond to the CFI solidly and plausibly by simply saying “that isn’t what we meant.”

But it’s with the first item that my interest was really aroused:

The textbook‘s discussion of the science of global warming is devastatingly inaccurate. As explained below, the overwhelming weight of scientific evidence establishes that global climate change caused by global warming is already underway and requires immediate attention. The international scientific community is united in recognizing the extremely high probability that human generated greenhouse gases, with carbon dioxide as the major offender, are the primary cause of global warming and that this global warming will produce harmful climate change.

And much later…

In brief, debate within the scientific community over the existence and cause of global warming has closed. The most respected scientific bodies have stated unequivocally that global warming is occurring and that human generated greenhouse gases, with carbon dioxide as the major offender, are the primary cause of well documented global warming and climate change today. These conclusions are detailed in the landmark 2007 report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), the international scientific body organized to evaluate the scientific evidence for human-induced climate change.

Have you got any red flags raised when you read hackneyed phrases like “overwhelming weight”? If so, maybe you’re on the road to becoming bolus-aware. If not, then maybe you aren’t. Perhaps all six of the objections are legitimate, meritorious, and productive. But it’s easy to see the CFI report seeks — not to inform, but — to bully. To intimidate. To coerce. To get the whole world running the way certain people want it to…and since Matt LaClair is one of ’em, naturally he thinks they’re wonderful and vice-versa. None of this changes the fact that this is all pre-chewed pablum.

Notice — none of these observations have to do with truth. They have to do with who is recognizing it…and the subservient role others are invited to fill, as they are beckoned to slavishly follow along. The only other important thing to remember about this is that once one person is caught up in the undertow, he’ll piss rusty nickels to get everyone else sucked down with him. People who suck down bolus, don’t want to see anyone else do any chewing.

Oh, but I do have one thing to point out that deals directly with truth: The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change is not a scientific body, it is a political one.

The common perception of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is one of an impartial organisation that thoroughly reviews the state of climate science and produces reports which are clear, accurate, comprehensive, well substantiated and without bias.

One only needs examine some of its procedural documents, its reports and its dealings with reviewers of the report drafts to discover how wrong this impression is.

The IPCC is not and never has been an organisation that examines all aspects of climate change in a neutral and impartial manner. Its internal procedures reinforce that bias; it makes no attempts to clarify its misleading and ambiguous statements. It is very selective about the material included in its reports; its fundamental claims lack evidence. And most importantly, its actions have skewed the entire field of climate science.

As the saying goes, I’m much more concerned about the intellectual climate. Happy reading.

Class dismissed.

Update 4/11/08: You know, it occurs to me that even with all the examples above of strangers figuring things out for us and telling us what to think, not even handing us the glimmer of factual foundation so we could at least go through the motions of coming to the conclusions they want from us on our own…and with all the other examples we continue to be handed on a daily basis — Iraq is a quagmire, Boy Scouts is a hate group, etc. etc. — for some among us, the point still might not yet be pounded home. When you aren’t bolus-aware, you are very easily convinced of some things, but it’s an endless chore to bring your attention to certain other things.

It further occurs to me that it doesn’t need to be this complicated. Not even close.

We have three clear front-runners for the President of the United States in ’08, one Republican and two donks. Can there possibly be any example of our societal gullibility, than what follows. The one Republican is, by far, the most liberal left-wing Republican in the entire Senate. The two donks are, against all odds, the most liberal left-wing donks in the entire Senate.

If what I have used all those paragraphs to describe, above, is not an epidemic covering all the mass between the great oceans, lately reaching “I Am Legend” proportions and intensity…you would be forced to conclude that that is just a cohweenkadeenk. The odds? My calculator says one in 124,950.

Seven Lesser-Known Fact About Fools & Stupidity

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

Heh.

Anti-Danger, Anti-Achievement, Anti-Defense, Anti-Life

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

This morning I was rubbing my hands together in giddy glee over the finding that the Nintendo Wii is not environmentally friendly, or at least, is not perceived to be that (Nintendo’s crime against the environment seems to be mostly related to a failure to divulge information about being clean, which is different from a substantiation of evidence about being dirty). My comment was,

The anti-corporate pro-enviro hippies, are hopefully going to be locked in a huge fracas with the video-gamers and therefore with the kid-dumbing-down people. I hope. It’s always fun to watch the anti-achievement types feast on their own.

Hundreds of thousands of e-mails have poured in and called my attention to…

…alright, nobody’s uttered a peep about it. But it nevertheless occurs to me, even though this is The Blog That Nobody Reads, that I should expound.

Surely you’ve noticed, haven’t you. The people here stateside as well as across the pond in Europe, who are so quick to rap us across the knuckles for taking out Saddam Hussein — offer little or no alternatives for us to defend ourselves in any other way from the threat of worldwide terror. Oh yes, I know, many among them will say we were “distracted” from the “hunt for Osama bin Laden” when he was “in Afghanistan.” They imply in a bullying way, but usually do not come out and say word-for-word in any true sense of commitment, that had we focused on Afghanistan they’d be behind our defensive efforts a hundred percent.

These are the very same folks who are all gung-ho about going after the globular-wormening ManBearPig, insisting that the climate of the earth is changing, we homo sapiens are the cause, it’s a done deal, the “science is settled,” and hey even if this turns out not to be the case it’s just as well that we act as if it is.

You can see where I’m going with this now. They insist that the benefit of the doubt be awarded to the course-of-action that involves doing…on this issue over here…and the option that involves not doing on that issue over there.

People like me, on the other hand, are “inconsistent” in the opposite way; I think we should not do, here, and do, there.

Who is more properly inconsistent? Well, the most jarring empirical evidence, which is people-gettin’-killed, it seems to me is on my side. This thing over here hasn’t killed anyone. That issue over there has killed thousands…oh yeah, oh yeah, I know, no solid evidence connecting Saddam to the terrorist attacks, but that’s kind of my point. These people, in addition to being inconsistent, are nuts. The “no evidence” is just as good as “close my eyes and yell la-la-la-la I can’t hear you.” The people who say we should act even though we don’t know anything, about ManBearPig, are the same ones who say we should not act because we don’t know anything on a different threat that really has killed people.

Chicks with GunsSo my point is this: Since there are so many of these people, and they all agree with each other in near-lock-step about both Iraq and globular-wormening ManBearPig…two issues on which their mindsets conform to completely opposite philosophies about how we should behave on important issues when certainty is not forthcoming and doubt is rampant. In fact, we can toss in a third issue without upsetting this solidarity one bit, I notice: Guns and self-defense. People who are pro-global-warming-curtailing, are anti-Iraq, and pro-gun-control. The consistency from one pair of ears to the next, is just amazing. It’s north of 99 percent. So I say, let us look for consistencies in the arguments. Let us look for common threads that are sustained among these three issues, in the way all these people perceive them and grapple with them. Are there some?

I see one.

Before I get to that, though, let’s inject a fourth issue in a round-about way…and let us do this, by exploring one of my favorite web sites: TrafficCalming.org, where you can learn how to thwart, obstruct, derail and generally bollux-up the efforts of your neighboring human beings to…well…to move their asses from one place to the next. Which means, now, just about anything else anyone would be able to do once they get there.

This deepens, but does not broaden, our chore of looking for common threads. If you think it’s settled RIGHT NOW that we should do something about globular wormening, but we need to shut down the War on Terror, but we need to grab everybody’s guns and lock ’em up — you probably think traffic calming is a wonderful thing. If you roll your eyes at it like I do, you probably think ManBearPig is a big ol’ scam, you probably think Saddam Hussein was just as much a dangerous spoiler jackass in 2003 as he was in 1993 & it’s a good thing he’s gone, and you think the Second Amendment actually means what it says: Right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

So traffic calming, you see, fits right into the mold.

Traffic calming consists of operational measures such as enhanced police enforcement, speed displays, and a community speed watch program, as well as such physical measures as edgelines, chokers, chicanes, traffic circles, and (for the past four years) speed humps and raised crosswalks.

Edglines.

Chokers.

Chicanes, traffic circles, speed bumps and raised crosswalks.

What are these things? Well, they are devices that make traffic safe by making assumptions about you, the driver, which in turn cannot be borne out as legitimate or truthful unless they are analyzed in a purely statistical venue. If you go faster than X speed, you must be dangerous. If you can be bullied and cudgeled and coerced into going slower than X speed, you must be safe. If it’s three thirty in the morning and nobody’s around, why, that don’ matter none. You have to go slower than twenty-five miles per hour, and once we make you drive that slowly, surely some lives will be saved.

It sounds like it came from…from…could it be? Why, yes it is!

European traffic calming began as a grassroots movement in the late 1960s. Angry residents of the Dutch City of Delft fought cut-through traffic by turning their streets into woonerven, or “living yards.” This was followed by the development of European slow streets (designed for 30 kph or 20 mph) in the late 1970s; the application of traffic calming principles to intercity highways through small Danish and German towns in the 1980s; and the treatment of urban arterials in areawide schemes, principally in Germany and France, also in the 1980s. [emphasis mine]

Gotta hand it to those Europeans. The European ego isn’t one bit bruised by the fact that we yankees came up with the telephone…the car…the airplane…the innernets. They’ve got their claim to fame East of Greenwich. When you’re a busy guy trying to get things done, relying on all this American technology to beat the deadline so that that other guy can beat his deadline so that the people depending on him can meet their deadlines…here come the Europeans to mess everything up for you!

Thought you were getting to Point B by two-thirty this afternoon did you? Not after our roundabouts and raised crosswalks get done. Now feel the wrath of the residents of Delft!

The really interesting thing about traffic calming, is its effectiveness is measured in traffic retardation on a miles/kilometers-per-hour basis, and a percentage basis — not on the basis of lives saved. I have to look at that a little bit funny. I have no choice but to do so.

I live in Folsom. We have our own “traffic calming” in terms of poorly-designed controlled intersections. Traffic lights that turn red just as you get to them, should you fail to exceed the speed limit by less than twenty miles an hour, and all that. You think that “calms” traffic, everybody in their shiny BMW’s having to stop constantly when they shouldn’t have to? Hell no. It turns them all into raging jackasses.

Sorry, fellow Folsom residents. You know it’s true. You know it damn good and well.

So on the notion that this makes traffic safer…I have to call bull poo. Even if you can pump out hundreds of studies showing the rate of speed has slowed. That’s a point in my favor, isn’t it? All the jackasses are spending more time inside city limits, after having been offered increased motivation for going all jackass?

There is a lesson here about human psychology. It is what ties together all these “let’s go ahead and stop global warming even though there’s no solid evidence we have to” types…in with the “naughty naughty naughty shame on you for taking out Saddam Hussein” types. It is what makes these two camps come together, even though their respective doctrines are 180 degrees opposed from each other. It is what makes them all such loud, bossy sunzabiches.

It is this:

Poor Widdle BabumsWhen you’ve made the decision that the stuff you do in your life doesn’t matter and shouldn’t be given much priority, you rankle at the idea of the stuff anybody else does with their lives being given any more priority than your stuff. The traffic-calming measures, with all the phony egghead studies “proving” that things must be safer because the traffic moves slower — they are metaphorical, of something much deeper and much more meaningful. When you’re in this boat, you want everybody to stop whatever it is they’re doing. To slow way down…until they stop. And sit. There’s really nothing rational about it. It’s a primal urge.

You don’t want anybody to make it anywhere on time to be able to do anything. Because you know you aren’t doing anything.

You don’t want anybody’s kids to grow up with a feeling of self worth, since your own kids aren’t growing up that way.

You don’t want anybody to consume anything, because you can’t justify consuming anything yourself. You can pretend you’re disturbed about the prospect of the whatever-it-is being depleted…but the truth of the matter is, you just want all motion around you to stop. Because you yourself aren’t moving.

That’s why the people who want to take your guns away are the same ones waggling their fingers at you about “emitting carbon” and those are the same people who prattle on about an “illegal and unjust war” — we should presume action is warranted in the face of doubt on one issue, and not on another issue. And those are the same people who think traffic is automatically safer if the drivers are frustrated in the efforts to get where they want to go. And those people, in turn, are the same ones getting all peevish if you buy your nephew a toy gun for his birthday. And those are the same people insisting that if said nephew is acting a little bit weird, he should be doped up on drugs and put in a special program.

And that once you’ve eventually triumphed over the round-abouts and traffic circles and gotten where you wanted to go, and made some money from doing it…you should be taxed up the ass. It’s human potential. It offends them.

This is easily substantiated. Because once you open your mind to the evidence involved — it’s really a little bit silly to try to argue Saddam Hussein was harmless. So people aren’t angry about the fact that Hussein was taken down, because he was a harmless guy. They’re angry Hussein was taken down because taking him down was a worthwhile thing that some brave, but ordinary, people did. That really gets in the craw of some among us. And that’s the truth.

Now, if you’re one among those “googooders” as Mike Royko used to call them, here, via Boortz, are some places where you can raise your kid. Notice how eager these googooders are to share notes on this stuff. Again: When you aren’t doing anything with your life, you don’t want anybody else to do anything with theirs, and when you aren’t raising your kid to grow up to be someone with guts and courage and resourcefulness, you don’t want anybody else’s kid growing up that way either.

To give you a quick idea of how much location matters, consider this: Kids are six times more likely to die from a violence-related injury in Alaska than they are in Massachusetts. In California, public playgrounds must meet all federal government safety recommendations, but 34 states offer no standards for where your kids climb, jump and swing. Connecticut and 20 other states have made big improvements in school-bus crossings, while 13, including Nebraska and Arizona, are way behind.

Location, location
1. Connecticut
2. Rhode Island
3. New Jersey
4. New York
5. California
6. Maine
7. Pennsylvania
8. Mass.
9. Maryland
10. Oregon

Oh, joy! Enough rules to crumple into a big ball and choke a horse to death! Or at least you could…if it wasn’t a federal crime to choke horses to death on things. And my Golden State is number five!

Of course, as any knuckle-dragging red-state real-man daddy like me knows, there’s a lot more to raising a boy into a man than just making sure he reaches Age Eighteen healthy and alive and whole. Us guys know that…but unfortunately, some eighty-eight years ago we went and gave them womyns the right to vote, and wouldn’t you know it the uppity females done gone out and started doing it. Now we have taxes up the ass…and rules rules rules, you can’t drive anywhere over thirty miles an hour because of those damn roundabouts, and in a few years you won’t be able to buy a car that can go that fast because we’ll have used the “carbon emissions” excuse to yank real cars off the road.

But our pwecious babums is going to be all safe. Won’t know how to do a God damn thing, but they’ll be safe.

Now you know the common thread. The common thread is — that people are cattle, and really aren’t worth anything. They shouldn’t be taught anything, they shouldn’t be raised to deal with danger, they aren’t worth defending, they can’t achieve anything and if they can, they should never be given the opportunity to do it. Might as well seal the damn things up in a great big jar and poke some holes in the lid.

This explains why when you face off against someone who insists we never should have taken down Saddam Hussein, and you ask well what should we have done instead — you don’t get anything. Just a deer in the headlights look, maybe a few stammering statements about George Bush being a really bad guy and his grandfather was connected to Nazis. Nothing about what to do. These people don’t come from the Land Of Do. They’re all about being, not doing…being…uh…well, happy. There’s nothing more in their lives than just that. So they don’t want anything more in your life than just that.

Funny thing is, though, when it comes to the anti-defense plank — they do think some folks are worth defending. Just the bosses. The kingpins of society. And you probably thought they were egalitarians, didn’t you?

I beg to differ. They’re aristocrats through and through. Earls Lords and Dukes are worth defending…Vicounts, Barons and anyone lower than that, are not.

Mr. Heller, the good guy in DC v. Heller, delivered one of the best slapdowns we’ve ever read when asked about the “safe streets” of DC:

At that point, a reporter interjected: “The Mayor (DC Mayor Adrian M. Fenty) says the handgun ban and his initiatives have significantly lowered violent crime in the District. How do you answer that, Mr. Heller?”

The initial answer certainly wasn’t expected – Dick Heller laughed. Ruefully.

Pointing at the Mayor who was making his way across the plaza, surrounded by at least six DC police officers, Heller said, “The Mayor doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He doesn’t walk on the street like an average citizen. Look at him; he travels with an army of police officers as bodyguards—to keep him safe. But he says that I don’t have the right to be a force of one to protect myself. Does he look like he thinks the streets are safe?”

There was no follow-up question.

We bet there weren’t.

The anti-achievement anti-defense subjects have that in common too. The Wizened Elders who run our Bottle City are worthy of protection…we low-life scum, are not. They don’t think they’re worth it, and so they don’t think anybody else is worth it either.

Not unless you have six bodyguards or more guarding your pampered ass.

So you see, opposing the right to defend oneself and one’s family, opposing the privilege of driving to get somewhere in time, opposing the natural exigencies of life…ends up being, quicker than anyone imagines, opposing life.

These are the same blue-state numb-nuts who want good-lookin’ women to wear short hair and be fully clothed all the time. Like wearing a bunch of damned burqas. Hey, nuts to you. Here, choke on this:

Self-reliance. Achievement. Self-defense. Supporting what makes life possible, and makes life worth living. And, good-lookin’ girls with long hair in skimpy clothes. Stuff that real men like. That’s what America is all about. It is the American way.

This ultra-pasteurized version of lowercase-l “life”…this continent called “Europe” seems to be cultivating a rich culture in supporting that. Seems to be something like growing sea monkeys in bleach, but if that’s what toots the horn of my fellow lowercase-a “americans,” I suggest they move the hell there. Stop trying to turn this place into that place.

And take your stinking round-abouts with you.

Thing I Know #168. People with limited attention spans get peevish when they see other people doing a better job of paying attention; people who consistently champion peace over justice, get downright pernicious when they see someone else uphold justice.

Your Wii Is Dirty

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

Oh boy, things are going to start happening now.

Toshiba and Samsung top the latest Greenpeace environmental ranking of consumer electronics companies.

The ranking, which was published on Tuesday, scores the world’s largest consumer electronics companies based on their recycling policies and the toxic content of their products.
:
However Japan’s Nintendo, manufacturer of the hugely popular Wii console and DS handheld gaming device, remains stuck near the bottom. It was introduced in the last survey and immediately became the only company to have ever scored zero. In the new ranking it has risen slightly to 0.3 points.

The low ranking reflects a failure on Nintendo’s part to provide detailed information about its environmental policies.

The anti-corporate pro-enviro hippies, are hopefully going to be locked in a huge fracas with the video-gamers and therefore with the kid-dumbing-down people. I hope. It’s always fun to watch the anti-achievement types feast on their own.

I’m going to be trying real hard to follow this…I probably won’t succeed…but I’ll try.

A Hallmark Card Arrived…

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

…and what a surprise it was.

I received a Hallmark card yesterday in the mail, congratulating my husband on becoming a “New” father ???

We’ve been married for 8 years, we don’t have children of our own. I have fertility issues. My husband is 38 and I’m 32.

I confronted him about the anonymous card, which only had the name of the baby girl stated on it.

What happened next has left me devastated. I am in pieces.

The baby is the result of a short affair he had with a woman at work. My husband’s a physician and I am assuming she is a nurse ( he won’t tell me). The relationship ended when she found out she was pregnant and would not abort the baby as my husband had requested.
:
Please help me please … I am devastated.

Desperate Wife

The advice columnist replies,

:
I think immediately you need to find a friend to confide in. That means today. This is just too big an incident in your life to hide from people you know. And right now you need support your husband cannot offer you. I should also let other readers know your letter has been in my inbox for a few weeks (sorry for the delay) so things may have moved or shifted since then.

I also suggest you invest in a marriage counsellor. They may be able to help you manage the chaos of this time and begin to help you and your husband decide whether you have a future.

It makes sense that your feelings for your husband did not change overnight with news of his betrayal. And it makes sense that much of your anger is directed at the “other” woman. Try to see though that the one person who is not the blame for this situation is the child and that if you stay with your husband you’ll be making a decision to accept this little girl into your life in some capacity – free from anger and blame.

Don’t tackle this alone, Desperate Wife. This is too much for anyone to bear by themselves. Talk to close friends and find a professional to help. All the best.

I notice this because it cuts to the quick of what I hate about advice columnists. It is often quite bonecrushingly bedazzling how often and how quickly they recommend professional counselors. I can’t imagine the financial arrangements that would have to be involved for them to be “on the take” in some way, but it’s a little disquieting that nobody ever seems to ask the question.

What kind of counselor ought to be sought, never seems to be explored. And if you have any experience with these counselors at all, you know it really should be. It determines absolutely everything.

Advice columnists are also overly warm and touchy-feely. Which is okay for crossword puzzles, but I think in situations like this one it is irresponsible. My brand of advice columnist would not have run this letter. Why? Because the implications of such a personal crisis are too profound and it’s too hot to handle? No. Because the author failed to say what it was she wanted done, and failing that, she further failed to state what her priorities were.

Therefore, the only advice you can give in response to a message like this is of the 1970’s pop-psych variety, in which priorities and objectives are entrusted to the aid, being thought to represent far too weighty of personal matters to be managed by the poor traumatized quivering mass of flesh babbling away on the couch. To the columnist’s credit, she recognizes that if a proxy has to step in and make this betrayed wife’s personal decisions for her, or give her a crutch so she can make the decisions without relying on her own internal resources, such a proxy role is outside the help that can be rendered from an advice column. But you see…that’s why the letter shouldn’t have been run.

We know very little about the woman who wrote this letter. It’s likely that she’s not even in that kind of a hole; once she’s able to put her thoughts together and recognize the ramifications involved in each option, she’ll be perfectly able to make the necessary decision and navigate competently the brambled paths that confront her in life’s jungle. Just needed to vent, as it were. Who in the world wouldn’t?

But the real disservice performed here — the goals and objectives injected into this equation by the advice columnist, having been omitted by the original author, were all of the soothing variety. To replenish the ego. To calm. To make someone feel good about themselves.

I see how someone might be inclined to visualize that as a need, missing from this situation. Trouble is, when we make decisions with that in mind, that’s when we make the wrong ones. Especially in cases like this.

Our Sanity in Decline

Friday, March 14th, 2008

You know it’s leaving us, because there’s a prevailing viewpoint that the labor market has become soft for those seeking work; there’s a prevailing viewpoint that this is due to the “outsourcing of jobs” by “big companies”; and there’s a prevailing viewpoint that, to fix this, we need to elect someone who will raise taxes on those companies.

There’s a geranium in our societal cranium. We’re rotting from the head down. It’s terminal, or curable, and I don’t know if it’s curable.

Text-Safe Street

Friday, March 7th, 2008

“Life’s tough; it’s tougher if you’re stupid.” — John Wayne

Rachel found it on Wednesday. Yesterday Gerard pinned down a “higgelty-piggelty” YouTube clip that explains the plain in nauseating detail.

You know, I can’t say “text-safe street” lots-of-times really fast. So where’s my protection?

Update: You know, I’m doing some more thinking about this and I have to consider maybe this is actually a wonderful idea, just implemented a little bit backwards. Nobody’s really concerned about protecting the lampposts, nor should they be; the object of our concern is the texting person.

So why waste this money protecting the lamppost? The texter, won’t someone think of the texter!

So let’s do this right. Strip those lampposts, and with the money saved, get some helmets. Knee and elbow pads. Shinguards. Nut-cups. Shoulder pads. Chest pads. Goggles. Boots.

Lastly, you wrap up the whole thing in a foam pad mess until the text messager is just like that little kid in A Christmas Story who can’t put his arms down anymore. Then send them out to text away to their li’l hearts’ content.

Because you know it and I know it: Nothing looks cooler than someone texting while strolling around.

When Are We Gonna Learn?

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

Last month I had observed…

…political scientists would do well to come up with a name for election cycles like this one, in which one of the candidates manages to plow ahead by being the youngest — therefore, culminating in the inauguration of a new generation. The ramifications are huge…substantial debate, the one thing everybody says they really want, will lose out every time.

It happens on a sixteen year cycle, pretty reliably.

Because they are the political party of feeling-over-thinking, the democrats are the constant beneficiaries of this — also pretty reliably. This has strong appeal for people when you’re in the middle of one of these sixteen-year cycles. You’re young; those old guys are in charge, and they don’t care about you. And here’s some new guy who, while still a little older than you, is much closer to you in age therefore he knows all about your problems.

Put him in. And we’ll have “change.”

It seems to make a lot of sense during one cycle. It looks laughable and silly when you observe a succession of multiple cycles. Well, I happen to like making things look silly when they really are silly, so let’s go.

Obama, 2008. He’s going to change things (H/T: Rick).

Clinton, 1992. He’s going to change things too.

Carter, 1976. A southernor for change.

Kennedy, 1960. He understands the problems of these young West Virginians, and he stands for change.

I honestly don’t know how to explain this thing about people. I don’t completely understand it myself. When we go shopping for houses and cars, we’re so determined to avoid getting ripped off. Salesmen have to be friendly, but they have to be friendly in the right way, because if we think they’re friendly and they resemble us well, but we don’t pick up the right “vibe,” we just get more suspicious.

Then we select someone for the most powerful office on the planet and we’re all just ooh…bright shiny object.

All these issues we say we care about. But every sixteen years the guy who can pull off this “I’m young like you and I can feel your pain” nonsense, is the consistently the guy who discusses those issues the least.

All four of these guys campaigned to end war. All four of them campaigned this way without directly coming out and saying that’s what they would do. Just kind of implying it.

And of the three who have already served, all three of them made war by emboldening our enemies. All three of them, it can be plausibly argued, caused wars to happen that didn’t have to.

And here’s George Bush, the incumbent President, the exterminator, being blamed for the infestation problem in the first place. When we know for a fact the infestation predates his presidency by a good stretch. We know it. Suddenly, millions upon millions of us seriously wonder if the problem isn’t caused by government interference in the first place. Would that we had that hyper-popular spirit of skepticism with some of our social programs!

When are we gonna learn?

Without Apology

Friday, February 29th, 2008

This blog, which nobody actually reads anyway, agrees with the nanny-state on one single issue and we stomp the bleachers as we bang our hands together in applause here

“It is universally understood that operating a motor vehicle while using a cell phone is dangerous, and yet it’s almost a universal practice,” [Police Capt. Jeff] Gural said. “Unlike the seatbelt law, the violation of which puts only the violator at risk, violation of the cell phone law puts others at risk.

“Therefore, the Evesham police will be enforcing the law vigorously and without apology.”

Cinnaminson Police Lt. Robert Martens said it won’t be hard to find violators

“There are so many drivers that still talk on their (hand-held) cell phones that it’s going to be like shooting fish in a barrel,” Martens said of the number of potential violators traveling area roadways.

However, he said his department does not now plan any special details to look for violators.

“If we see someone violating the law and creating a traffic hazard, we’re going to enforce it,” Martens said.

The sight of people spending enormous gobs of money to make their car as cocoon-like as they possibly can, and then filling that cocoon with distractions, ticks me off like you wouldn’t believe. Worst of all is the sight of someone just jawing away on their cell phone…and I understand people are going to think I’m jumping to conclusions a bit too quickly, and they’re entitled to their opinion however wrong it may be. I insist you can tell certain things by the way they move. The way they hold the phones. The way their jaws move as they talk into them.

They are NOT receiving instructions on how to perform CPR on a baby, or how to defuse a bomb.

They are yakking away about stupid crap.

Because they’re used to driving this way. If they’re driving, and there’s no phone held up to their face, they feel that something is wrong. It’s like using a computer without drinking coffee. Quarter-pounder without the fries. The engine roars to life, and the phone has to be up to their silly ear if it isn’t there already.

Cardo ScalaBecause being ready for any ol’ thing to go wrong — the time-honored example of the three-year-old chasing the ball out into the street just yards in front of your bumper — that is unacceptably boring. To people who put ten…twenty…thirty thousand miles on their chariots, every year. Just consider the implications of that.

There shouldn’t even be a law needed, when you think about it. If you hold a cell phone up to your face, you’re advertising to the world that you don’t check your blind spots when you turn corners or change lanes. There can be very little doubt about it. Just watch people yakking away on their cell phones while they drive. Take a good look. Three quarters of them are holding the phone up to their left ears. Their left ears. They do head checks when they change lanes? They do? How? Law or no law, that’s worth a warning.

Pictured is the headset I use, which has worked wonderfully now for three years straight. There’s nothing unique about it except for the handy cord that you can use to keep it close by, like around your neck. You can get it for $25. Some others work perfectly well, and cost even less.

I’m always amazed by folks who drive BMWs or Lincoln Navs for the prestige factor, but can’t put together $15 to talk on their phones while they drive unobstructed. What’s up with you people? Are you afraid of losing the headset? Then keep the headset in your damn car.

Now that I actually agree with the nanny state about something, I have to go take a shower. But you see, I really have no choice but to agree with them on this one. It doesn’t matter how much “there oughtta be a law” is overused and over-abused…it applies here. This nonsense is WAY out of control.

WAY out.

Hopeful

Monday, February 18th, 2008

H/T: Neo-Neocon, via Rain in the Doorway.

Staccato

Friday, February 15th, 2008

I was listening to the radio on the drive in to work and they saw fit to play a clip back from…pfshaw, suddenly I forgot. I’m thinking “Survivor” but maybe it was “American Idol.” One of those brain-dead reality shows.

And on the spot, I thought of a fortieth thing I’d like to do if/when the day comes I’m going to start personally running this whole place. And that fortieth thing is to make a rule:

Television shows can use one of three songs for background music: The theme to “Leave It To Beaver“; “March of the Cue Balls” by Henry Mancini; and “Popcorn.” Just to see what happens. Because I can’t help but notice, ever since reality shows have gotten popular, easily half the shows on that idiot box are saturated with irritating woodwind background music, droning away behind highly implausible dialog. And people in general have become breathtakingly stupid. I see a connection. Let’s see if some actual musical notes start smartening people up again.

It’s been widely speculated-upon for a long time now that exposing babes in the womb to Mozart will make them smarter — ironically, by the very same people who are getting stupid on these shows with the breathy woodwind background music. If we are to presume such a cause-and-effect relationship between music and resulting intelligence levels in unborn children, I see absolutely no reason whatsoever to cast a jaundiced eye toward the same theory where it concerns adults.

History will show this was the decade of reality television shows with windy “ooooooh aaaaaaaah” background music. It will also show this was the decade that began with a devastating lethal attack on our citizens on home soil, and shortly afterward we became obsessed with…raising taxes on ourselves to that the planet wouldn’t die off, based on the readings of a few poorly-located temperature reading stations.

Go on. Wait twenty years, and then just try to convince your grandchildren we had it together. Tell them how we were confronted with a threat from Islamic terrorism…and resolved to bravely confront the problem…through universal healthcare.

The dumbth has reached crisis levels. Something must be done.

More Good Workers Wanted

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

Sitting on both sides of the interview table, for the last few years I’ve been left wondering about this

A recent report on the Lehigh Valley’s job market says a growing number of local companies complain that would-be employees lack basic professionalism.

Among other trends, the report says some companies must weed through ”an extremely large number of applicants” to find suitable workers, and feel there’s a need to teach ”appropriate” work habits at an earlier age.

”We call them soft skills,” said Nancy Dischinat, executive director of the Lehigh Valley Workforce Investment Board, which prepared the report with Pennsylvania CareerLink Lehigh Valley. ”Getting to work on time, continuing with your education, and an understanding that work is work.”

Our irrational fascination with formal education over-and-above technical background, confuses me a lot more after people try to explain it to me than before they so try. I expect to hear a lot of explanation regarding how this-job or that-job requires things to be done a certain way, how things might look at first glance that they were done right, but if the implementer isn’t trained, something will come unhitched or untied and get someone killed.

But that isn’t what’s explained to me at all. I keep hearing about how diplomas, certs and other credentials show you have the “drive” to do…and then what follows is a lot of stuff that in my world, people should be doing anyway. Stuff like what Ms. Dischinat is itemizing above.

Even as schools say they’re doing more to prepare young people for jobs, though, [Mike] Bunner [who runs Electro Chemical Engineering and Manufacturing] said he’s not noticed any real improvement. “We’ve been dealing with this for a long time,” he said. “It’s only getting worse. It’s not getting better.”

Yeah It’s “Squeeze,” Alright

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

Neal Boortz says (yesterday) if you only follow one link today, let it be this one. It’s about the supposed squeeze being put on the middle class.

If you’re like me you’ve been wondering about this for quite awhile. Especially where kids are concerned…you look at the things your family had to enjoy when you were a kid, which in my case were Saturday afternoon chores…you look around at all the ways you can enjoy your leisure time now, how everybody else enjoys their leisure time, what the kids can do with their playtime…especially in those summer months. You think back to days long-gone when work had to get done and yourself & others went day after day without sleep, and you look at what life is like now when you’re under a “crunch” at work…it’s not quite so much like that, is it?

Of course nobody actually reads this blog, but the nobodies who sometimes do, might recall me bitching and bellyaching about people who moan on and on about globular wormening, and then go out and drive big cars…to work. Carrying nothing. Just a laptop computer. To work. Both ways. Five days a week. Twelve miles a gallon. There’s that — and it’s true. But there’s also the carping away about gas prices on top of it.

Trust me on this: This isn’t a gas crisis. A gas crisis is a visible thing. You can look at the cars streaming down the freeway, at the fact that a stout and well-built man who’d been working out, could easily turn any one of ’em over. We don’t have that going on here. A gas crisis isn’t what this looks like, and it isn’t what this is.

Squeeze on the middle class? I was reading about it back when I first started to read newspapers, and that’s probably from a younger age than you might think. We’ve changed everything in our government…and then changed it again…and changed it again and again and again. Throughout all of it, we’ve been hearing how the middle class is getting squeezed out. Now, if there isn’t any shenanigans a-going on, that by itself would be a mighty strange thing wouldn’t it?

Here’s what’s going on in a nutshell. Most if it, anyway. People’s problems are diminishing across time…because over time, said problems have to diminish. The alternative is that all of our problems have to remain exactly as they are, which would mean we’re unready, unwilling or unable to solve them…and that would mean we just don’t care. So if we care about it we’ll fix it, and we are fixing it. We really, really do care about being comfortable. And we are getting more comfortable. That’s where our priorities are. If something is outside our sphere of control, we’ll do what it takes to enlarge the sphere.

So life is improving, and meanwhile our politicians have nothing to gain from pointing it out. Absolutely nothing. Everybody wants to be the Romanov kid swooping in during the Time of Troubles to bring in a new dynasty and start the belated Renaissance. The news channels don’t have anything to gain from pointing it out either. The reality is that others have sacrificed to give you a better life — your parents, your grandparents, the soldiers in the military, and yes, the public servants in government — it’s paid off. You are more comfortable. Life is not a dress rehearsal, and all that…it all boils down to, you really shouldn’t be wasting your time watching the news. We’re just going to tell you about lead in the lipstick, and in three months it’ll be some other damn silly fashionable thing to put in the news…none of it reflecting concerns that should really be foremost in your noggin.

The bottom line is, you ought to be the guy out on the lake enjoying water sports. With your kids. Maybe you think you haven’t the means to do it. Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe there are other ways you can enjoy the time you have with your families. Look forward to the time you’ll be in the ground, pushing up daisies, with your kids poring over whatever memories they have of you. And make the most of The Now. But if you thought about such things, maybe you wouldn’t be watching the news tomorrow, would you? So we can’t have that.

Ours is the very picture of a lifestyle excessively comfortable. Our President gives a speech containing the words “World War Three,” and on that day the top story in the news is a couple of yorkie pups in adorable Halloween costumes.

Grandpa drove a pickup truck to his job as a foreman in the lumber yard when the unions were starting to organize — with a shotgun in the passenger seat. Dad tore cars apart down to their crankshafts, and put ’em all back together again so they’d run perfectly. I designed and wrote the code for document automation systems…and now…we…well, we follow instructions. I’m not going to say nobody does anything amazing anymore. People do. The era of burning the midnight oil, making personal sacrifices to do wonderful things is not over yet. But it’s certainly in a steep decline.

One other thing should be mentioned, I think, even though deep down I think we all understand it anyway. This isn’t something that just happened to us. We’re guilty. We asked for it.

We’ve been putting a constant pressure on ourselves and on each other to take care of one another. Voluntarily, and when we don’t quite feel so charitable, through government so the other guy can be forced to pony up his share. We’ve made the “brother’s keeper” thing into practically its own science, but we forgot to cultivate an environment in which people say “thank you” when they’ve been helped. Think on it — how many times did you say thanks? How many times did someone reach out and lighten your load in some way, whether you requested it or not, or were aware of it at the time or not? The numbers don’t quite match up, do they?

And there’s the spending time with the kids. There’s a certain nobility in not doing this sometimes, you know. Oh it’s a horrifying thought, and nobody says “I wish I spent less time with my kid,” but it’s true. If it weren’t, there wouldn’t be any summer camps — nobody would be sending any kids on them. But we’ve been watching so many of these infernal “family movies” where some adorable little moppet gets that disappointed look on his face because Daddy Isn’t There, that when real-life dad has to work until 6:30 one night everybody asks like he’s been chained down in the salt mines by J.C. Dithers or Scrooge McDuck.

Because that’s one hour less to spend with the tykes.

Until tomorrow-freakin’ night.

Don’t get me wrong. If the dude is still together with the lady who is the Mom, he should make the most of the time he has. But a little perspective, please. A great rule of thumb is if it isn’t worth using up any camera film, stop screeching about it just because an hour and a half of it goes missing. When you work late, it isn’t even flushing the time down the toilet, it’s exchanging it for the livelihood that makes it possible to have the kids in the first place.

We seem to have forgotten that, and as a direct consequence we’ve entered an age of truly excessive comfort — which, in my dictionary, is any kind of comfort beyond our capacity to show gratitude, and genuinely appreciate for what it is. We are unhappy, not because we’ve been deprived of what we need to be that way, but because we’ve suffered a self-inflicted injury on our ability to be happy once we have it.

Rant is over. You may now resume your complaining about the “squeeze” on the middle class, skyrocketing gas prices, globular wormening, that awful war…and your yammering for change, change, change.

“There’s Something Really Disturbing About You”

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

Yeah, I’d say creepy was the right word.

Pulling It Off

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

More penises in the news…

…and I’m gonna go ahead and run it. You know why? Because I’m so sick of talking about elections. If all that is happening in the world has to do with elections and penises, I’m gonna blog about penises. At this point, I’d rather form some comments about Barbra Streisand than about elections, and there’s nothing I like about writing about Barbra Streisand. Everything about her irritates me, even that missing “a”. But I’m really sick of elections.

I digress.

She tried to pull my (penis) off!

No tools involved? Yikes. Who’s attacking him, the bionic woman?

A Framingham woman angry with her boyfriend was arrested Monday on an assault charge.

Jussara DeResende, 37, apparently tried to pull her 24-year-old boyfriend’s penis off during a domestic dispute, said police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany.
:
“She was jealous because she didn’t know who he was talking to, and she attacked him,” said Shastany. “She scratched him on the arms and the chest. … He said, ‘She tried to pull my (penis) off.’ ”

The man, who suffered some scratches, pushed her away and called police.

DeResende denied attacking her boyfriend.

“She said the argument was over money,” said Shastany. “She said she scratched him in self-defense, saying he was on top of her and she pushed him off.”

DeResende was charged with assault and battery.

Y’know…I just have this hunch that alcohol was involved.

And I’m thinking this is one of the many reasons that the domestic dispute, places way up high on the scale of calls that the typical cop would much rather not get.

Never, Ever Send Ellie Pictures of…

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

…your tallywacker. One gathers the impression the phrase “that is, his ties to you” was a complete afterthought, kind of tacked on to the end only when the columnist considered possible liability issues involved…up until then, the confusion most likely to result, would’ve suited her just fine. Not a fan of photographed dingalings, that Ellie, nosiree.

Emailing pictures of penis a sign of immaturity

Ellie

Q: My boyfriend of two years can’t stop chatting with women on the Internet. I’ve confronted him but he just keeps doing it even though I’ve told him how it makes me feel.

I know it’s wrong that check his MSN, but I can’t help it. He’s continually talking to one woman from his past and I found him sending pictures of his penis to her after we got together!

I want to tell him I know he’s still chatting with her but it hurts so much that even though I think it’s just Internet b.s., it really bothers me!

What to Do?

A: Cut him off – that is, his ties to you. You’ve tolerated his disrespect and immaturity too long. Penis pictures are not “bull.” They’re evidence of a childish guy who hasn’t any sense to know how stupid his behaviour reveals him to be. He’s crude and has nothing better to offer women – especially not to you. He’s showing no concern about your feelings or humiliation.

Dump him.

Acts of immaturity aside, I saw very little difference between the actions of the less-than-considerate boyfriend, and those of the less-than-considerate girlfriend described in the second letter. One might argue the possibility exists, hardly a peripheral one in terms of potential, that the situations might be identical. But oh boy, was the tone of the advice ever different.

Q: My girlfriend’s been acting cold to me. She’s very busy with school and projects. Whenever I see her, I insist on carrying her heavy bag sometimes and offer her hot drinks when it’s cold. She always rejects my offers.

Phone calls have been on the decline, probably because of strict parents on both sides.

However, I learned that she was talking to other boys. She acknowledged it and I then felt really sad. Our goodbyes were always the sweetest parts of our conversations, with promises to see each other the next day.

I couldn’t help but feel something was wrong when she said her mother was screaming and she had to go. She avoided me in school the next day.

I’ve discovered through others that she was feeling possessed by me and that I wasn’t giving her enough room to breathe. Yet we’d made a promise that we’d tell one another if we had any problems with each other.

I’ve sent her an email apologizing. No reply. I want to kill myself.

Shattered Heart

A: There are people who care about you far too much to lose you – Number 1 and 2 are your parents whose strictness comes from love and wanting to protect you from emotional involvements too intense for you to handle at this age.

You’ve put all your self-esteem into this young relationship, instead of realizing that you’ve got a lot to offer personally, and a full future ahead. Recognize that this girlfriend, though she may have been fine in the early stages, represents just the start of learning about relationships and how to handle them.

Your initial sadness is understandable because every relationship has its value, and both of you were sincere at the start. Yet, you both had to know it was unlikely to be a lasting union, given your age and stage in life.

Do not let depression take hold. Call your local distress centre listed in then Yellow Pages. Experienced people are available 24/7 and accustomed to talking to people who feel despondent. They can refer you to ongoing help and give you hope to go on.

If possible, talk to your parents or a trusted relative or community member for a perspective on all the good things ahead.

Advice columnists, in general, are truly amazing creatures. In terms of people who ought to be getting attention, they rank somewhere around that guy who keeps sending you e-mails because his boss/father/client died and he needs your checking account to transfer some money.

The First Time I Ever Felt Sorry For Britney

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

Just plain nutsI’ll make sure and bookmark it

Britney Spears To Spend A Month Without Her Kids

Britney Spears’ apparent no-show in court in Los Angeles on Monday has cost the troubled pop star dearly – she will go a month without seeing her two young sons.

Spears arrived at Los Angeles Superior Court for a crucial custody hearing four hours late and then reportedly refused to enter the courthouse. The singer left, only to return minutes later appearing briefly before an army of paparazzi and then speeding off again.

I think we just crossed the dividing line between nurture and nature here. There’s some gears stripped and some sprockets popped and some cotter pins sheared, but when the machinery gets just-so-bollywonkers you have to say, maybe it’s not a matter of having been a spoiled brat child-star — at some point, you have to say the material was flawed at the very beginning.

And it kind of makes an impression on me, as well, that I’m suddenly feeling sorry for KFed. And the boys. This is awful…you couldn’t wish such a situation on your very worst enemy.

Oh, and now for the uber-painful, reality-based, obvious stuff. I could very well be wrong about the “nature over nurture” stuff. The possibility exists, and it is not a remote one, that you can emerge from the womb perfectly healthy and whole and get this screwed up just-because. You can be estranged from reality through such an obdurate and sustained ordeal that is what passes for your “life,” that you can everlastingly lose your ability to deal with either reality, OR life.

There is a degree of likelihood involved in that. If that is the case, let the rest of us look well upon the lesson.

Flesh! Oh, No! XII

Saturday, January 12th, 2008

Mayor in her UnderwearWhen I read that people wanted Carmen Kontur-Gronquist fired as the mayor of Arlington, OR because pictures were available of her posing in her underwear, I had to click the story open because I knew she’d look good in her underwear. And I was right.

Flaying and firing fat floozies for flashing flabby flesh, is…well, nobody ever seems to have that idea. We only go after the hotties like Mayor Carmen.

This is one of those truths that always seem to pan out, and everybody understands always will, even though the logic behind it is something nobody can explain. But if there’s a way to lay down some money, you can probably generate a livelihood from this. A picture of a girl in a bathing suit or underwear gets out and people want her head on a plate — you know she’s a cutie. Without seeing a single picture, you can guarantee it.

How come the fat porkers get away with it? The women are afraid of competition that’s a little bit too stiff? The men have fantasies that if a hot woman with a killer career can lose it, she’ll want to have sex with them?

Man, is that ever a logic-bubble I’d like to see popped. People get SO uppity about how “unprofessional” and “inappropriate” it is for women in certain positions to show a little skin…and it sounds like it makes sense. But deep down I think we all know it doesn’t, because the enforcement is inherently unequal. Ugly two-ton Tessies in professional positions, if they ever show some thigh or ass cheek or cleavage, can hang on to those positions just fine and nobody’s going to utter a peep of protest. Quot erat demonstrandum, dude.

Anyway, that’s just food for thought.

On to the subject at hand…

“It was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back,” said Ronnie Miller who is working to have the mayor recalled, if she won’t resign.

At the meeting Miller read a statement on behalf of “concerned citizens” that criticized the city leader’s handling of several issues, like local water rates. It also took dead aim at her MySpace page.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! We hate the way she handles our local water rates…and on top of that…there’s pictures of her in her knickers. I seen ’em!

The story doesn’t even mention (unless I missed it, which I guess is possible) another word about those local water rates. Seems to me to be lacking in detail, especially if it’s being presented here as a genuine concern. I mean, what? They’re too high? Too low? They flex too much?

Inquiring minds want to know! But anyway…back to the silly story…

“The recent actions of our elected mayor are an embarrassment to some of the citizens and portray an image we feel is inappropriate for an elected official. Placing provocative photos on the Internet, using an elected title, are unacceptable,” read the statement.

After listening to critics, the 42-year-old Kontur-Gronquist told them she “had no comment at this time.”

The mayor did not return messages left by ABC News. But in an interview with The East Oregonian newspaper she said she did not think there was anything wrong with her Internet photos.

“That’s my personal life. It has nothing to do with my mayor’s position,” said Kontur-Gronquist.

“I’m not going to change who I am. There’s a lot of officials that have a personal life, and you have people in this community who have nothing better to do than scrape up stuff like this.”

A little bit further down, we seem to be getting to the heart of the matter. And because it’s local in nature, I can’t attest to whether it really makes sense or not…but I can attest to it making more sense than the undie-photo. Although I suppose that’s a matter of opinion.

“This sounds like sour grapes over other issues. If you got it, flaunt it!” declared another reader.

Some suggested it is in fact another issue that is fueling the push for the mayor’s resignation.

The issue is not so much about lingerie, as it is about balls. Golf balls. A golf course to be more precise.

Voters approved funding of a municipal golf course in the last election. But the mayor who reportedly appointed herself “Golf Commissioner” is accused of significantly limiting access to the public course by reducing its hours of operation.

It’s pretty often nowadays for some self-loathing American to bitch and moan about how “sexually repressed” we are because we have a tendency to require ladies to wear both halves of their bathing suits when they swim on public beaches.

That’s kind of silly in the other direction — but there’s a kernel of truth to it, and I think we’re looking at it here. An image of a good looking lady in skimpy clothing, seems to bring out reactions from us that it ought not. Reactions that make so little sense, that no one solitary individual would dare show them. To get ’em, you need a mob.

I’m not a mob. If a woman’s going to show me her entire body, or most of it, I’d much rather she be a good-lookin’ one like Mayor Carmen. Oh, and if you’re ticked about water rates and golf courses, I think maybe you should direct your complaining in that direction. But that’s just me…the mobs say otherwise.

On Rescuing Beautiful Russian Gymnasts

Saturday, January 12th, 2008

I’m not altogether sure how this thing started. It seems, at one point, I told my son that back in the early 1980’s there was a law put in place that every well-known heroic figure on the large- or small-screen was obligated to, at some point, rescue a beautiful Russian gymnast. Which has a grain of truth to it, but later on he showed signs of having taken this too literally and that was a source of mild amusement. Nevertheless I had to get things back on track to reality and give up the facts supporting the kernel of truth in my tall tale.

That’s the way these things usually go…and this was a source of education for the whole household. Yes, it turns out, there was something of a “law.” A cultural edict.

I spun my tall tale out of the difficulty that is involved in explaining what was going on, to someone who was born well after it.

And what was going on, was that Nadia Comaneci‘s coaches had defected shortly after the 1980 Olympic games. Nadia herself did not. But her Soviet bosses were worried, and so they put up some goons to watch her 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. This all happened in plain sight of the rest of the world, which in turn could do nothing about it. So everyone was properly horrified.

In 1981, Comaneci participated in a gymnastics exhibition tour in the United States. During the tour, her coaches, Béla and Marta Károlyi, along with the Romanian team choreographer Geza Pozar, defected. Upon her return to Romania, Comaneci’s actions were strictly monitored. She was granted leave to attend the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles but was supervised for the entire trip. Aside from that journey, and a few select trips to Moscow and Cuba, Comaneci was forbidden to leave the country for any reason.” “Life…” she wrote in her autobiography, “took on a new bleakness.”

Well shortly after that, life took on a whole new bleakness for everyone else as well. Suddenly, beautiful Russian gymnasts were being rescued, kind of like bits of trash being swept up after a parade, from their evil Soviet overlords and creepy goons.

Bo and Luke Duke never rescued a Russian gymnast, but Coy and Vance certainly did. February 1983, 5th season, Episode 101.

Much to my surprise, it turns out Wonder Woman did. She rescued a bunch of athletes captured by a vicious criminal overlord to train for the Olympics — against their wills, naturally.

Buck Rogers got his in early, in February 1980. You know, even as a pre-teen, I was noticing the difficulty involved in envisioning this as a profitable side business for busy criminal masterminds…kidnapping athletes. Seems complicated.

James Bond sort of cavorted with a gymnast…which left the audience bemused, befuddled, and probably started Roger Moore’s real decline in this role. The great 007 passing up sex? And, you know, when we think about it for awhile, it seems ordering British nuclear submarines to sail off course by means of a stolen computer, doesn’t have an awful lot to do with gymnasts…

I’m still not sure about Charlie’s Angels, the Bionic Woman or the Incredible Hulk. I seem to recall finding a Knight Rider episode about this, but now the closest one I can find is Number 50, Season 3 which I’m quite sure isn’t it.

Tom Selleck’s comeback vehicle in 1989, was all about rescuing a beautiful Romanian gymnast from her spooky overlords.

And so for just shy of a decade, our western culture was locked into the mindset that the best & brightest we could find all the world over, would make wonderful sympathetic figures. Which in foresight, seems healthy — this would provide the inspiration for ordinary mortals, particularly young ones brought up in rustic conditions, to aspire toward godlike greatness, would it not? Alas, it didn’t work out that way. It migrated into a rather ugly television addiction…a television addiction in which gymnastic themes were thought to meld quite easily into other themes, dealing with superspies, supercars, good ol’ Georgia boys running moonshine for their uncle, an astronaut waking up after five centuries in suspended animation, and an Amazon princess who flies an invisible jet.

It can be explained to children, little green men, and other thinking beings who weren’t around to actually live through it. But only with great difficulty. And by “great” what I mean is…even if you are a highly skilled communicator dealing with a receptive frame-of-mind, you’re never going to quite get there. You kinda had to have been there.

We simply were not in a settled and collected frame of mind. We were nuts. Detached from reality. And we watched way too much television.

We Don’t Communicate

Wednesday, January 9th, 2008

My mood’s been dark the last week or so, and about an hour ago I was grousing away about this phony resolve the nation has been showing about being unified. The substance of my complaint is that the words used, do not describe the intent. Tradition is a poor lodestar here — it says when we unite on something, we agree on a plan. In the 2007-2008 election cycle, though, being united has something to do with all of us feeling the same stuff. Being jovial, morose, amused, suicidal — it is a state of one emotion being decided-upon with pinpoint accuracy, and everybody feels whatever it is all at the same time.

Which inspires a very low quality of leadership in our leaders, or so says my recent concern. We unite in some meaningless emotion, our “leaders” articulate that for us, and then they go off and do whatever they want. Not a recipe for success or freedom in my book.

But that’s the kind of trouble we bring down upon ourselves, when we go through the motions of communicating without actually doing it.

I was given cause to think about this on Sunday. It all started when my lady went to work that morning and forgot to take her lunch with her. Being her Knight in Shining Armor, I volunteered to bring her some. So I grabbed the kid, loaded up the car and scrambled off to the restaurant to pick up some chow.

Tight timeline. But my gal’s food order was precise, and the reputation for service is above average. So in we go, and…uh oh. Language barrier. Not a trivial one. A big, thick, intimidating one.

I can handle language barriers, usually, but this one really got in the way for two reasons.

One: Whenever I was forced to ask the gentleman to repeat himself, he would do so. LOUDER. As if I had a hearing problem; that is all he would do. He would not enunciate. He would not s-l-o-w – d-o-w-n. This is not good. It sends the message that your motives are to make sure if there’s a screw-up, you the service-person cannot be blamed because you’re not the one who did it. You aren’t really trying to connect.

Two: It seemed to me as if there were a great many questions for a relatively simple dish that I’d ordered before. I wondered if I wasn’t on the wrong track. But after the third question that had to be repeated three times, I had begun to just say “yeah, that sounds like a great idea” without having the foggiest notion of what I was doing. Hey, it’s food. Yeah, it’s for my special lady and everything, but her expectations have been lowered in this department. Anyway, I figured my chances for getting everything p-e-r-f-e-c-t were already scuttled.

While this more-complicated-than-need-be order was being filled, the boss saw things weren’t going well and took over. Good business decision. But why was it necessary? And did I get that guy in trouble? I hope not. I was really trying to have a smooth conversation with him, but throughout most if it I had no idea what he was trying to ask me…and he acted like he just didn’t care.

There were another seventeen miles to go between the restaurant and the place where my girlfriend works. En route, the boy’s mother called. The day before she was emphatic that, due to the weather problems we had and the things she had to do, sorry but she had no idea what time she’d be able to pick him up. So she was calling to firm up on a time.

She had a bad cell. A bad one…or I did…or she wasn’t paying enough to have real cell phone service…or I wasn’t. Here it is ten minutes later — and again, I’m finding myself neck-deep in this swamp of “Huh”s and “What”s and “You’re Cutting Out”s.

Say What One More TimeFinally I screamed into the earpiece. Perhaps that wasn’t a good thing to do. But God damn, it felt good…and hey, we were able to figure out where she needed to pull off the road to really talk on her phone. I know — it was just plain rude. Shouldn’t do it. Well, it was that or run the car off the road. I’d reached my saturation point. I simply couldn’t handle hearing that dreadful word “What?” one more m—f—ing time. I am SO sick of that word “What?”

From that, and from this phony Obama phenoma, I have come to realize something.

I think it is vitally important to the future of our society, that we come to an abrupt stop in this thing we do. You know what I’m talking about, by now: Pretending to communicate. I think we should stop doing it.

I think when we fail to communicate, usually by communicating all half-assed, we should simply admit we aren’t getting it done.

Stop trying.

To pretend to communicate, and not do it, injures us in all kinds of ways…ways in which we are left relatively intact, if we just abstain from the whole pointless exercise.

This kind of fits in to my complaint about technology lately. What is technology in the 21st century? Apart from this music-listening fad that’s going on, it’s pretty much all cell phones. Now, really: A generation ago you left work, maybe hit the store on the way home, and until you showed up on the doorstep ready to kiss your sweetie hello and ask each other how the day was, you had no way to get ahold of each other.

Did you survive?

Yes, you did.

Today, we cannot. Oh horror of horrors, you might forget to go to the store. Or she might have needed six things, and told you to pick up only five. Or maybe you don’t know where to find it. It seems so vital and important now, even though deep down we all know it is not.

Is this constant faux-communication then, some sort of comfort to us, if not a necessity? Again, it does not appear so. The weekend comes, and you leave the house to do A. Your cell phone rings. It’s the boss. Now you have to do B. Maybe your sweetie calls and you need to do C, D and E. Here it is 2008…and you stand an excellent chance, better-than-even odds, of failing to get A done — and by the time it’s dark, you’re probably still going to be out there trying to get all this other stuff done. Thirty years ago you would have simply left the house, gotten A done, and come home again.

And the “Can You Here Me Now” stuff? It has become the stuff of comedy. But it’s not funny, in a way, because in this information age communicating with each other has become synonymous with getting things done. It’s pretty much a given, now, that if we cannot pass ideas off to each other, we will accomplish little…and we’re laughing at ourselves because we can’t do that. Not with any reliability. And it seems, from my point of view, as if the comedy has become less the “good natured chuckle” thing, and more the “don’t know whether to laugh or cry” thing.

Phil gave me props for recommending this movie. That very same day, my brother copied me on an e-mail, a frustrated reply he was sending to the customer service department of his wireless provider. He mentioned the movie too — his way of sending me the same thanks for the same recommendation. One of the things that happens in the movie in question: In the five hundred years that begin more-or-less now, the English language is destroyed, replaced by a muttering dialect that is a hodge-podge of valley-girl slang and rap-music outbursts.

I think we’re there, or nearly there. You go to do some business at some place that has a “service counter” — do you expect to get service? No, not really. We seem to be universally frustrated with the fact that very few people, anymore, care to express themselves in such a way that they’re truly understood, or understand what is told to them in a way that they truly get it. The problem long ago passed the point where it had begun to interfere with everyday business, and nowadays, we’re practically paralyzed from it. Ordering a plate of hot food has become a more challenging ordeal, with more questionable prospects for consistent success, than building a new fence around a pasture, digging a new well, or putting a new roof on a barn. It’s a simple task made artificially complicated, along with a bunch of other tasks that should be equally simple.

Our cultural ability to get things done is now in a steep nosedive. And until we start communicating — or at least, stop going through the motions of doing it without actually doing it — I don’t think we’re ever going to get out of this nosedive.

Stalker Drove Forty Hours

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

Welcome 2008. It’s obvious something is busted with us, or with you.

A Granville man was arrested last week after driving 40 hours to Spokane, Wash. and threatening to rape two girls, ages 15 and 6, police reported. Joshua R. Stetar, 20, was arrested Friday after police responded to a harassment complaint called in by the father of the 15-year-old girl, Spokane Police said.

According to the police report, Stetar said he met the girl in December of 2006 while playing Halo — an interactive X-Box 360 video game that allows players to talk to other players via a headset as they combat aliens using a variety of weapons and equipment.

At about 9:30 p.m. Friday, Stetar sent a text message to the victim stating that he was driving by her house, police said. In the message, he described his car as a gray Oldsmobile. “Her parents were outside on their porch at the time, and they confirmed the vehicle actually did drive by,” said Spokane Sgt. Isamu Yamada.

At 9:36 p.m., the victim received another text message from the suspect stating, “Tell the cops that I’m gonna rape you and your sister.” Stetar reportedly thought the victim’s 6-year-old cousin was her sister.

Gosh, I don’t mean to creep out anybody who might have gotten a fancy new inter-networking game under the tree this Christmas…but you know, if that happens, I’m not one bit sorry for it.

This is one screwed-up world.

Update: The article goes on to mention Joshua Stetar’s MySpace page is “riddled with Bible verses and religious rhetoric supporting abstinence.” It makes no mention of other things I find just as eerie if not moreso…like he’s 20, 6’2″ and 130-something pounds, is a sports fan and claims to be a Psych major. Don’t have any axe to grind against any of those, I’m just sayin’.

I wonder what axe the newspaper has to grind; they might not be real big fans of abstinence programs.

Looks like Joshua got her street address and cell phone number off Google. There’s a good thing to tighten down right there; have you played “virtual stalker” against your own kids lately, snooping around to see what comes up? It’s quick, easy and free.

Bill Cosby’s Speech

Monday, December 31st, 2007

Learn it, live it, love it. It doesn’t have that much to do with skin color, in the final analysis. Nothing at all, really.

“Why you ain’t where you is go, ra.” I don’t know who these people are. And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. Then I heard the father talk. This is all in the house. You used to talk a certain way on the corner and you got into the house and switched to English. Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t land a plane with, “Why you ain’t…” You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

Regrettably, the audio clips are edited, somewhat. But you get the idea.

I work in Information Technology…a field in which we look to professionals to solve problems. But it turns out when you work here, you can solve as many problems as you want to solve, and nobody’s going to give a crap about it until you have the right sheepskins on your wall.

I didn’t think that was a serious problem until I met some “skilled” engineers who had all the coveted “sertifikayshuns” and therefore enjoyed career portability I didn’t have…who could not write and could not spell. Now, is this still not quite a serious problem? Hey. These are our problem solvers. These are our technology-bringers. These are our make-things-work-ers. They think “affect” and “effect” are interchangeable words…and trust me on this, it goes sharply downhill from there. Many of them can not type. Why on earth should they have to know how? The median birth date is about 1976, or later. If you’re my age, which is just a decade senior to that, you think a mouse is a luxury item. Well yeah, have you really worked at re-thinking that lately? You also probably know what an eight-track is, GRAMPS.

It should be mentioned that my complaint is different from Mr. Cosby’s, although when you get down to it, we’re both a couple of old men grousing about the next generation, with a mixture of sour grapes and some other stuff that is not just sour grapes. Stuff that might be thought of has having real legitimacy to it. Stuff that could be thought of as a real wake-up call. Cosby is talking about a culture in which intellectual achievement is frowned-upon, in which people actually channel their energies — vast sums of energy — into staying stupid and keeping their kids stupid, and then blame their problems on other classes of people with lighter skin. Yeah that’s pretty foolish alright…I’m talking about a culture endemic to a universality of skin colors, in which intellectual competence is thought to be synonymous with the seals and signatures which are imposed simply for the purpose of manifesting it. To the extent that we end up buried in a tidal wave of “knowledgeable” professionals who are supposed to know everything, and in actuality when it comes time to getting things done, can’t really be counted on to do any of it. I’m griping about paperwork being treated as an acceptable substitute for skill — paperwork treated with greater respect than skill. To the point where those with the authority to do so, reject skill, replace it with paperwork, think the exchange to be a costless one, and then coast along in blissful ignorance of the fact that this is what was just done. If we were talking about installing seat belts or brake pads, we’d have to wake up to what we’re doing…but we don’t have to…and what we’re talking about, is all the stuff in our lives that is supported by technology. Which is pretty much everything, lock stock & barrel.

The overlap between these two old-guy complaints, is broad, deep and significant. It is a seductive cultural spirit antagonistic toward simply knowing how to do things. The shoving of the nearest nerd into the handiest garbage can. The pretending you don’t know the answer to the question so you can avoid being typecast as a “geek,” and therefore get along with your pals. The wearing of the clothes backwards. The ass crack sticking out of the pants. Ain’t. You is. Let me ax you. The Idiocracy.

Deep down, I think we all understand we can afford this nonsense because…well, we can afford it. Got a hungry belly, you take it to Taco Bell with $3.15 and the problem is solved. Boss fires you for goofing off too much, you take it up with your local union and you’ll make the sonofabitch sorry his momma ever met his daddy. Laziness…all kinds of laziness, the intellectual, the spiritual, the physical…carries no consequence as 2008 finds us. None at all. None. And so — we work hard at getting lazy. It is the one thing toward which we channel our truly dedicated, sweaty-forehead, all-other-priorities-are-trivial, white hot energy.

Because we must put that kind of energy somewhere, and there are no other challenges, dangers or problems left to absorb it. We work at staying stupid. At not speaking English. At using improper grammar. At mumbling. We are very much like the battery with one paper clip attached to both terminals. Zero resistance…and we’re overheating and melting down because zero resistance is a situation outside of our intended design.

Happy new year!

More of a Tightass Than Me

Monday, December 10th, 2007

See all you left-wing freaks, I’m not such a hard-hearted jackass after all. John C. Dvorak has some words about the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) thing, and they’re not kind. Throughout his blistering screed against OLPC, I’m relating to his words only tangentially…sort of “on the fence,” you might say. My conflict is that from what I’ve seen, real technological progress follows when the tools are scattered to the four winds, rather than hoarded within an elitist cloister. Egalitarianism — I’m fer it. My own beginnings were pretty humble, so I figured I’d be a hypocrite if I were again’ it.

But then he comes to this…

Every time I bring up this complaint to my Silicon Valley pals—usually as we race down I-280 in their newest Mercedes-Benz S Class sedan while listening to their downloaded music from their iPod to the car’s custom stereo—I get flak. They tell me, “It’s a start. Computers will save the world from poverty. You are just jealous you didn’t think of the idea.”

Yeah, that’s it. I’m jealous.

Ooh, I think we’ve all run into that one from time to time. I mean, all of us except those who are on the latest bandwagon all the time.

And then he goes on, into this segment which I found to be delicious…

We see an incredible deer-in-the-headlights Leslie Stahl puff piece about the device on 60 Minutes. No one says it’s a crock. Instead, only the minutiae of implementation and whether Intel should be allowed to make a similar machine are questioned. During the show, Stahl makes the idiotic claim that this is the first laptop in history on which you can read the screen in broad daylight. So much for fact checking. Then there is a tremendous push to get the public to take part in the “Give One, Get One” promotion. “I want one!” says a cohort of mine in a podcast. Apparently, he is going to toss his Mac PowerBook and use this. Who is he kidding?

Curious, isn’t it, how often we are caught saying crap that has not so much as a corn-kernel of truth in it, just for the sake of getting along with others.

Something We Learned When We Got Our Degrees

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

This blog, which nobody actually reads anyway, has from day one had a burr up it’s butt about the way people, as a whole, go about doing things. Our wish is not that everybody do things the same way; quite to the contrary, we fear this is what has already taken place. You might say we’re “pro-diversity” in this matter. We’ve been looking around, seeing that people tend to do everything the same way — more importantly, those who decide how things will be done, are more concerned that everything be done a certain way than that it be done at all — and we’re displeased.

There is irony in this. In opining about the problem for the last three years, we’ve found we’re not alone. And this is curious. The world wants to be consistent in how things are thought through, and how things are done; we say “this is not right, this is not good”; and everyone with an opinion worth expressing, minus a few disaffected individuals who’ve proven themselves inept at arguing their dissenting viewpoints, agrees with us.

Our gripe can be defined quite easily if one takes some time to watch young children working things through together. In school, at recess, it makes no never-mind. Adults have a tendency to do things the same way — this is the problem. We aren’t growing up. I expect everyone who’s learned a new computer application inside & out, and then had to teach it to someone else, will see where I’m going with this…the “nevermind how it works, just tell me what keys to press” thing. It’s become far too prevalent, and it has begun to interfere with the continuation of our society.

Grown-ups are encouraged to defer a self-education about how things work, until sometime later. Placed in a position where they must receive instructions in order to do a job, they insist on the bare minimum. What they end up demanding is instructions for children. Do this; don’t do that. Step one, step two, step three.

There is economic logic in this. It is far less expensive to train someone that X is good, Y is bad, step 1, step 2, step 3, than to provide instruction about how all the parts fit together — and how to straighten it all out when there’s gum in the gears. This should make complete sense to anyone who’s seen their order at MacDonald’s hopelessly screwed up.

This is our gripe. You go shopping, and over an extremely busy and expensive weekend you pass by ten cash registers. How many times would you expect to see a cashier ask her supervisor over to straighten something out? It should happen just once or twice. Nowadays, it happens more than half the time.

This is emblematic of what is happening everywhere, not just in retail.

We’re seeing ourselves. We know what keys to press. We don’t know why. Once something goes wrong, help must be summoned from somewhere else. This is considered normal…but it doesn’t take a cataclysmic event to put a hitch in the giddy-up. Handing over a five-spot and three pennies when your bill is $3.88, will do the trick just fine.

I’ve often been under the impression you can see this in your fellow motorists. My favorite maneuver to watch is a start from a dead stop; when people don’t understand how a car works and don’t care to learn, even though they depend on that twice a day through half their lives, you can see it. Pistons, gears, suspension — they don’t care about any of it, and you can tell they don’t. They want to go sixty miles an hour, they’re currently going zero, all they know is go and stop. Off they go.

Their cars are always newer, of course. If they have no respect for the laws of physics they’re just going through the motions of servicing the car properly, if indeed they’re doing that at all. Like any well-designed machine, the car will treat them the way they’ve treated it.

Fellow Webloggin contributor Bookworm has been noticing something like this, and she came up with a quote from Dennis Prager, who I guess says this on his radio program frequently. I hadn’t heard it before: I prefer clarity to agreement.

Wait’ll you see what leads up to that:

I attended a meeting at the school today for one of the management committees that sees parents and teachers working together to come up with specific details to implement long term strategic plans. All of the long term goals and the details are memorialized in a document that was remarkable for its generous use of passive voice and all education jargon. There is, of course, no reason why I should understand education jargon, because I’m not an educator. Nevertheless, to the extent I was supposed to vote on the document, it seemed to me that I had an obligation to try to understand what it was talking about.

So, I zeroed in on one phrase and asked “What does this mean?” There was a moment of complete silence. Then, one of the teachers said, “I’ve always understood it to mean…” and embarked on a laborious explanation that didn’t mean anything. Another teacher jumped to her aid with more words, less meaning. I thanked them.

Another phrase, another question: “What does this mean?” More silence. One of the teachers said, “Well, that’s something we learned when we got our degrees.” Oh. “Thank you,” I said, completely unelucidated.

And this gets back to what I was complaining about in Paragraph One. What we’re looking for is a little diversity — say, half of us have taken the time to understand how a thing works and therefore comprehend cause-and-effect, the other half of us follow processes and summon help when a gizmo doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do.

Back in what was once called the “olden days,” that’s how things worked. And a “degree” was a thing you got when you’d taken the time to understand how things work, and wanted to get credit for it and therefore a higher standard of living. It worked well, because it gave people the freedom to engage life on the terms they chose. Followers of process are vital in their own way; we need them. We also need people who not only understand what’s going on in the car engine or the DVD player, but have nurtured a lifelong passion for figuring it out. So in our yesteryears “diversity” program, we gave both these halves the ability to function, and therefore to work together.

You must conform!No more. In the twenty-first century, we’ve started passing out degrees to people who follow processes. People who think like children. This is a way of insisting everybody should think that way — no exceptions.

The ultimate consequence is that people who understand how things work, or want to figure it out, have to be treated like freaks. Which, with a personal bias I’m ready to confess freely, it seems to me that we are. Also, it takes very little to foul up a relatively simple transaction or task, and an unnaturally high level of effort to fix it.

Update 11/17/07: Via the sidebar crawl on Van der Leun’s page, I stumble into this reminder that I’m not the first one to be complaining about this. Albert Jay Nock, delivering one of his lectures during a tumultuous time in American politics, academia, and intellectual achievement, 1931 at the University of Virginia:

As we have observed, very few people are educable. The great majority remain, we may say, in respect of mind and spirit, structurally immature; therefore no amount of exposure to the force of any kind of instruction or example can ever determine in them the views of life or establish in them the demands on life that are characteristic of maturity. You may recall the findings of the army tests; they created considerable comment when they were published. I dare say these tests are rough and superficial, but under any discount you think proper, the results in this case are significant. I do not remember the exact figures, but they are unimportant; the tests showed that an enormous number of persons of military age had no hope of ever getting beyond the average fourteen-year-old stage of development. When we consider what that average is, we are quite free to say that the vast majority of mankind cannot possibly be educated. They can, however, be trained; anybody can be trained. Practically any kind of mentality is capable of making some kind of response to some kind of training; and here was the salvation of our system’s theory. If all hands would simply agree to call training education, to regard a trained person as an educated person and a training school as an educational institution, we need not trouble ourselves about our theory; it was safe. …What we did, then, actually, was to make just this identification of training with education… [emphasis mine]

He then goes on to expound on this. At great length. The core subject of this lecture is the intermingling, and then the substitution, of training for education.

Could’ve easily been written today. I can listen to someone bloviate at length about how incredibly, breath-takingly, heart-stoppingly important it is that a certain person doing a certain thing must must must have such-and-such a degree. And not once will anybody think to stick in a remark about what such a person is able to DO, or what he would know, that he would not be able to do or would not know without that background.

All too often, it simply isn’t part of the agenda. The letters after the name have to do with conformity and compliance, not knowledge or capacity for absorbing same.

This breezy, casual replacement on the sly, presents us with a grave danger. The danger is that one is a study in excellence and the other is a study in mediocrity, which is the opposite of excellence. Left to our own sensibilities, most of us would probably probably think of such a replacement worthy of greater fanfare.

I mean, do you want your brain surgeon to achieve, or conform?

We’re Paranoid

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

This guy’s a nut, but no nuttier than our liberals. If the September 11 attacks hadn’t happened, his response would make perfect sense. But they did, and so he’s a nut.

A Swedish man accused of falsely telling U.S. authorities that his son-in-law had links to al-Qaida has been charged with defamation, a newspaper reported Friday.

The false warning spoiled a business trip to the U.S. for the man’s son-in-law, who was stopped at a Florida airport and questioned for 11 hours before being sent back on a plane to Sweden, the Sydsvenska Dagbladet daily reported.

U.S. authorities apparently reacted to an e-mail sent to the FBI saying the man “likely has links to the Muslim terror organization al-Qaida’s network in Sweden,” the newspaper reported.

The 52-year-old father-in-law admitted to having sent the e-mail after it was traced to his home computer, the paper said. He reportedly told police he sent the e-mail in anger after a dispute with his son-in-law, who was divorcing his daughter.

The man said he did not expect such a “paranoid reaction” from U.S. authorities, Sydsvenska Dagbladet reported.

Honestly, where do all these people come from? Do they have incredibly short memories or did they just never give a rat’s ass?

There’s more to this worldwide phenomenon raising the hair in the back of my neck…other than it being horribly offensive. I’m just wondering about the future conversation with my grandkids…

“Grandpa, when did all that ‘global warming hysteria’ you were talking about take place?”

“Oh, I would say it peaked around aught six and petered out around aught eight or nine…got started in two or three.”

“And people were a lot more worried about that than anything else?”

“Yup. Kids of your generation were supposed to be peeved at grownups from my generation for daring to continue generating power, going to work, cooking meat outdoors, and generally living life. It was the biggest political issue of that decade by far.”

“Uh…I thought you said the September 11 attacks occurred in oh one. How did people go from that, in the space of a year or two, to worrying about something that never even killed anybody?”

“You know…you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.”

Really, some of the things my grandmother and uncles told me that made so little sense at the time, I’m seeing now in an entirely different light. That fool swede should be one isolated kookburger. But he represents the majority, from what I can figure. Worry about the gobular wormening ManBearPig, which has yet to hurt anyone, but pretend the September 11 attacks never took place. You exist in any other era, and not only will this perspective cease to make any sense, but you’ll be just incredulous at just how foolish we are overall in this generation. We’ve really lost all meaningful hold on reality.

Olbermann Apologizes

Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

I get to link straight to the FARK thread on this one since it was green-lit, meaning you don’t need to be a member of TOTALFARK in order to see it. Just click on the YouTube logo at the top and away you go.

I think some of the comments from the Olby apologists are pretty important here.

The apology is for having pointed out what a crazy whack-a-doodle Rudy Giuliani seems to be, when you pretend that Giuliani said something that Giuliani did not, in fact, actually say. Actually, it’s somewhat less sincere than that. Giuliani said something, the Associated Press somehow began circulating a mythology that Giuliani said something else, the mythology reached Olby, Olby helped promote the mythology, AP issued a retraction, Olby followed suit.

To Olbermann’s credit, his apology clip contains an excerpt of Giuliani’s comments. From that, you are eqiupped with all the tools necessary to make up your own mind…an unusual move for Olby, but one can see how circumstances might persuade him to turn over a new leaf and step out of that cloistered citadel of “everybody tells everybody else what to think all the time.” What is not so clear, however, is how Giuliani’s remarks were mangled in the first place.

Nor am I clear on the thinking of the Keith-Oh fan base. To be sure, Olbermann’s doing a few things here that he doesn’t necessarily have to do, but each and every one of those things is reactive in nature. But more important than that, he got into this trouble by passing the second milestone on the way to insanity; in other words, he navigated the First Traid of the Nine Pillars of Persuasion out of sequence. And in that sense, his apology is just as out-of-step as the blunder that originally made the apology necessary.

To bottom-line it, he heard something, he believed it uncritically, he re-broadcast it, he learned about a retraction from the original source and then he re-broadcast that. And for the second re-broadcasting, his fan base is telling everyone within earshot that we’re all supposed to hold Olby in high esteem for his vaunted personal integrity.

This strikes me as trying to have things both ways. The apology is a reflection of your personal integrity, while the original screw-up is not? I dunno. When I look at the facts and decide what they mean for myself, it seems Olbermann is just some guy who reads or watches products from the Associated Press, believes every word of it without checking it out, does his bit to re-broadcast it to whatever extent he can, and takes bows for the AP’s retractions while disclaiming any involvement or responsibility when the AP fumbles.

I mean, an eight dollar pair of amplified speakers can do that.

Except stereo speakers don’t make careers out of being angry. At least now when I see Keith Olbermann being angry about something, I’ll know there’s a good chance he hasn’t the slightest idea whether or not his anger is based on anything real.

I get angry about things too. Pig-bitin’ mad, sometimes. I can make Olby look like Mahatma Ghandi, depending on what’s under discussion. But I can get only so mad, up to a certain level, beyond which I have to check things out and find out what’s going on. If I get angrier than that, then I’ve got to do this…or make a priority out of it. It’s tough on the ol’ ticker you know, I’ve only got so many occasions to get angry before it’s time to cash things in. I’d like my anger, therefore, to be based on something real. So anger compels me to check things out. That’s what normal people do.

So what use would I have for a guy like Olby, who shouts first and checks things out second?

On Sermon-on-Mount Liberals

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

I haven’t been reading Lydia Cornell lately. I should, because she has claimed to be a former Republican and I have all-but conclusively judged this statement to be full of crap, without really having too much foundational information. But of course I do have some…since it’s such a frequent occurrence gorgeous Lydia says a bunch of stupid bullcrap only a dedicated donk would say…

Democrats are stronger on terror because we know the value of human life. We will win the war on terror by gathering our forces and fortifying our homeland. By first bringing our troops home and strengthening our own borders, ports, airports and train stations and using our resources wisely. We can’t afford to lose a single human life. We’ve lost over 2,600 troops, and another 16,000 missing arms and legs, and we’ve spent over 300 billion dollars on a war that has DEFINITELY CREATED MORE HATRED AND TERRORISM throughout the whole world against us.

Democrats will go out and communicate with our enemies: we will bridge the gap and open diplomatic channels. Syria, who was helping us right after 911 will be helping us again. Everyone wants to be on the side of the Peacemaker who brings a higher vision to conflict. In the time that George Bush and the Three Stooges have been in power, they have created more enemies than ever before in America’s history. This is the most shameful time in our country. We must get these primitive self-serving oil barons and Neanderthals out of power before they destroy the world.

Sometime back when the war was a newer thing, Lydia had put up a post describing how she had once been a Republican but couldn’t abide the wild contradiction between the Republican platform and her interpretation of The Gospels, so she switched to the donks because they were the more biblically-pure party. She is, therefore, perhaps the most physically-appealing specimen of a large and growing sect tens of millions strong: The “Sermon on the Mount” liberals.

These are the kookburgers who insist the Lamb of God, voting today, would punch a straight-donk ticket because those Republicans have strayed from His word. The title of the post excerpted above shows you the depths to which this lunatic thinking ultimately drags an innocent mind: “We Will Win War on Terror by Getting Out of Iraq.”

Well I’ll have to agree that at times, George W. Bush has been a dangerous man. But he’s never been this dangerous.

This is “run with scissors in your hand and marbles all over the floor,” electric-fence-pissing dangerous. The “Sermon on the Mount” liberals are named for a passage from the Book of Matthew, Chapter 5, they themselves like to cite frequently; in some cases, the person so speaking is familiar with this passage of the Bible, and none other.

38Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

39But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

40And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.

41And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

42Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…

According to our “Sermon on the Mount” liberals, therefore, all violence is contrary to the will of God. There are no exceptions to this. If such an interpretation were sincere, of course, there would be ample occasion and motivation to translate this snotty lecturing into Arabic, since the Islamofascists that attacked us are also supposed to believe in a god who champions peace, and they also are supposed to have “hijacked” a “peaceful religion.”

I know of no such translation effort that has ever taken place.

Perhaps the prospective translator-lecturers are terrified of getting their empty little heads lopped off.

But uh…getting back to the “Sermon on the Mount” liberals. They are quite an interesting bunch. There is this book out there, millenia old, arguably the most influential book on the affairs of men out of any other book ever compiled, no close-seconds. It is a dauntingly thick book, chock full of instructions about how to achieve everlasting life. These “Sermon on Mount” liberals have picked up on the one passage that might, with sufficient effort, be interpreted as endorsing self-destruction, and this is the one passage that they parrot endlessly, avoiding and ignoring all others.

Well, I shouldn’t say that. Some of our peaceniks are pretty enthusiastic Bible-study people, who I’m sure could quote circles around me. But it is interesting — they get this frenzied frothy notion that The Lord wants us out of Iraq, and He is greviously offended at us for going in there in the first place. If you were to take the Bible, and drop from it Matthew 5:38-44, leaving all other passages intact, their argument would dissolve completely.

Is Matthew 5:38-44 subject to a singular interpretation? No! It may very well be the most ethereal and nebulous chronicling in those pages, since Noah built the ark.

It doesn’t pass the “If I were God” test. If I were God, would I build a species of people in my image and give them instructions to…embrace those among their brothers who wish to do them harm. Coddle venomous serpents close to their own bosoms. Expose their soft fleshy bellies to their snarling, slobbering countrymen, who are brandishing knives and swords and sharp farm implements, looking for a place to stick ’em. Why? Why would I want this people I had built, to do such a thing?

It crumbles under the weight of it’s inherent silliness when we consider third parties. Do we interpret the Sermon on the Mount literally when we come across two men, one bad and the other innocent, when the bad man wants to do harm to the innocent? “Sermon on the Mount” liberals can always be counted on to change the subject when confronted by this, because that innocent man could just as well be a woman. Or a child. Or a handicapped person. They, therefore, are forced by their own reasoning to endorce acts of violence on the innocent and weak, who cannot defend themselves — to condemn any efforts by stronger people to come to the aid of those who are innocent and weak. Not supposed to do it. It’s gotta make some sense down the road, after all it’s what Jesus said.

Well, it isn’t what Jesus said. And it gets much worse than that, when you start to consider a lot of our “Sermon on the Mount” liberals don’t even believe in God. Consider that for a second. You’ve got this passage from the Bible, subject to a variety of interpretations but, okay, one of those interpretations says you’re supposed to treat enemies as friends, even in situations where logic and reason tell you this is self-destructive. Somewhere down the line, possibly after your demise, this all makes sense. But the guy interpreting this for you doesn’t believe it himself.

Just think on that. You’re getting this snotty, condescending lecture about how you shouldn’t allow violence to take place, even if it is defensive violence…because Jesus said no…but you’re getting the lecture from someone who doesn’t practice this himself, and can’t practice it, because he doesn’t believe in Jesus. Which in all likelihood means, the guy doesn’t even believe what he is telling you — and what he’s telling you is there’s something virtuous in self-destruction.

Ergo — your snotty condescending lecturer wants you to destroy yourself. Through non-violence. Allow others to rape and pillage and burn you, even though he himself would never dream of doing the same thing.

It’s insulting on so many levels. It’s like going fishing by rowing out in the middle of the lake and expecting the fish to jump into your boat. And it presumes an inimicable relationship, which may or may not be justified by preceding events. And probably isn’t. But most of all, it is so intellectually insulting. It presumes that by babbling the correct gibberish at you, he can motivate you to do something both he, and you, logically understand makes no sense at all.

These people haven’t been reading the Bible. They’ve been watching old Star Trek episodes in which Kirk and Spock destroy ancient alien computers using that all-powerful Kirk-and-Spock secular humanist logic. They’ve seen the old trope played out so many times, they figure it’s easy and want to try it out themselves.

Now, these true-believer Bible-studier types, I’m gathering their minds have been wrapped into little pretzels by these Star Trek watching secular humanist types. Wherever violence takes place, they figure, the will of God has been thwarted and they must dispense their insulting lecturing…only to the side of the conflict that speaks English, though, so their heads won’t get lopped off. Their flaw is in presuming that peace is easy, that it’s simply an absence of war. They think peace is available when the right people are asked…like ordering a pizza.

Blogger friend Rick ran into a few of those types over at some place called Waving or Drowning. Usually I avoid these scraps in which Rick immerses himself, dealing with interpretations of scripture I find somewhat meandering and arcane. That gets into my own interpretation of the Bible, which is a little too complicated to go into here…but it’s also pretty thin. To bottom-line it, I think we got put here. At significant cost. We weren’t put here to play video games, guzzle Starbuck’s, and bitch about bad weather; we’re supposed to find something meaningful to do with our lives, get ‘er done, and encourage those around us to do the same. Once you proceed from that assumption, it’s been my general experience that all these squabbles about Sodom and Gomorrah and the Levitical Priesthood pretty much sort themselves out.

So for a few days of visiting his blog, I skimmed past this one post of his and jumped to his next post. I ended up sorry I ignored this for so long, because when I finally clicked my way into this skirmish I saw something pretty amazing…posted by Rick’s declared antagonist “Sonja”:

Ahhh … Rick, now you’re being disingenuous. You and I both know that if it were not for the fact of our troops being in Iraq and and the Commander In Chief having given direct orders which caused this war, those pictures would not have been taken. Whether or not our troops were directly responsible for them or not is hardly the point, now is it?

The “disingenuous” question Rick posed, had to do with some gruesome pictures posted by Sonja of injuries received by children local to the conflict in Iraq. Sonja had directly implied that the pictures were representative of “good” things “that the US military is doing.” Rick was inquiring — disingenuously, I suppose — as to whether or not Sonja knew, for an absolute fact, that it was the United States that had done these things.

Here’s Sonja declaring it to be a non-issue. The United States started the conflict, ergo, all ensuing violence was to be laid at the feet of the “US military,” and anyone with the temerity to suggest otherwise or even question it is being “disingenuous.”

So this started a big back-and-forth during which time, the “Sermon on the Mount” liberals threw in all kinds of red herrings about Rick’s involvement in Republican politics, and his employment status with a DoD contractor. Rick, meanwhile, persevered as best he could trying to get an answer to his question.

So after I waded in and picked out just three of the questions I was inspired to ask, Mike, the owner of the blog, shut off commenting. I honestly don’t know if I did that or not. I would have to assume so, since the back-and-forth continued for quite awhile before I showed up, I only said one thing and right after that the Jenga tower collapsed. I thought I was pretty polite and cordial. Maybe not cordial enough.

Our “turn the other cheek” people, it turns out, have some pretty thin skins; it’s not what you’d expect at all, is it?

So I think we have some lessons to learn from this. One, we’ve got a lot of people walking around thinking violence is an elective thing, ALL the time — there can be no exceptions. I would have to imagine most of those folks are virginal where violence is concerned. If you’re fortunate enough to live in a place where you have the right to own a gun, and you exercise this right — and then in the middle of the night someone breaks into your house, he’s got a knife, you’ve got a gun, he’s a lot more concerned about getting away un-caught than about your personal safety…you don’t have a lot of choices, do you? Or if a man attacks your wife right in front of you and you have the means to stop him. There’s only two speeds in that scenario, go and stop. So I guess these are people inflicting their impractical and untested fanciful notions of “peace” on all the rest of us. They can’t possibly know too much about what they’re talking about, if they honestly think that’s how it works…one guy wants to fight, the other one doesn’t, so the pacifist just drones on about a bunch of stuff until the bully doesn’t want to bully anymore.

It don’t work that way in real life. Sorry.

Two. Isn’t it interesting…Iraq is supposed to be the wrong war, at the wrong time, in the wrong place. It is supposed to be an “illegal and unjust war.” But it seems everyone who is opposed to the violence we have supposedly caused over there, is opposed to any & all violence as well. This isn’t true of everyone who’s opposed to our operations in Iraq, of course. But very nearly everyone. Ninety-nine percent or more, I’d say, are “Sermon on the Mount” liberals who labor under this irrational, slobbering delusion that war can be brought to an end for all time, if enough people will it to be so. That says unflattering things about the remaining one percent.

Three. It occurs to me that if you hate people and want to destroy them, but you don’t believe in fighting, this is just a natural tactic to take isn’t it? Like I said above, just demand the fish hop into your rowboat. Or like I said over at Rick’s place, go hunting and simply talk the deer into committing suicide.

I think that’s what “Sermon on the Mount” liberals are really all about. They like fighting and destroying people who disagree with them, every bit as much as anybody else. Except they’re afraid to admit it, and the people and aparatus they have made a lifetime-dedication to hating, has a lot to do with fighting itself. So they’re using words as weapons, because that’s the only option they’ve left to themselves.

They say to their enemies, hug venomous vipers to your chests, because it’s what Jesus wants you to do. Expose your jugular to the nearest tarantula, it’s what you need to do for your salvation. Most of them don’t even believe in Jesus. Like Kirk facing off against an ancient alien computer, they figure if they say the right stuff their enemies will destroy themselves.

It’s the dream of a sissy.