House of Eratosthenes

The campaign to scare the dickens out of people over ~~the next ice age~~ ~~global warming~~ climate change has again starkly insulted my faculties for critical thinking. What else is new. Well, actually, there is something new. You heard this joke, didn’t you?

Disgusted by what he has seen on earth, God decides to destroy it and start over.

He orders one of His angels to appear at the offices of four of America’s leading
newspapers, the Wall Street Journal, the SF Chronicle, the Washington Post and
the New York Times, in order to give them the scoop that He intends to destroy
the world in 2 days time.

The next morning, the following headlines appear:

Wall Street Journal: GOD TO DESTROY THE WORLD TOMORROW!! MARKETS WILL CLOSE EARLY!

SF Chronicle: GOD TO END WORLD TOMORROW!! ANTI-RELIGIOUS PROTESTS PLANNED. ACLU TO SUE GOD!!

Washington Post: END OF THE WORLD IS AT HAND, GOD SAYS!! SEE ARTICLE ON PAGE 12-B.

New York Times: GOD VOWS DESTRUCTION OF THE EARTH!! WOMEN, CHILDREN AND MINORITIES TO BE HARDEST HIT!!

Every now and then you see evidence that this last punchline, isn’t really a joke. It’s reality. Well, this is one of those times.

If climate change predictions by researchers at the University of Toronto prove to be right, low-lying Bangladesh will suffer some of the worst effects of global warming. Already, about a fifth of the country is flooded annually. As temperatures and sea levels rise, flooding may increase up to 40 percent.

For Bangladeshi women, this is particularly bad news. In some past floods–such as in April 1991 following a Category 4 cyclone–the death rate for women was five times that of men.

Now, prostate cancer aside, when’s the last time you saw something being played up as a bad potential disaster because, if it should come to pass, men would be hardest hit?

You never see it. Doesn’t anyone ever stop to think why this is? Men aren’t exactly like cockroaches you know. We’re fragile; compared to women, in a lot of ways we’re fragile. We’re top-heavy. We jump, with parachutes and bungee cords. The actuarial tables confirm that time has a more harmful affect on us than it does on our counterparts. We store fat in our “love handles” to live off it in the lean times; our ass cheeks, and thighs, don’t play much of a part of this process. In sum, we aren’t constructed to have someone else live inside our bodies, and in so doing be protected from harm. We’re beasts of burden. You might say the male of the species is built to fall apart.

So there must be a lot of calamities out there that will hit men the hardest. How come it is we never hear about them?

It’s marketing, that’s why. If I’m a woman, I see a news story that says “women hardest hit,” I want to buy that newspaper and learn as much as I can. I’m a guy, though, so if I see a paper in a newsstand that says “men hardest hit” I’m much more likely to leave the quarters in my pocket, and walk on. Why is that?

Well, first the obvious. Quarters are money. I’m a cheapass.

Also, I’m Superman. Nothing hurts me. You say something comes along that will hurt men; well, it’s hardly a given that it’s going to hurt me.

I don’t feel any special kinship with other men. Let’s say I’m going to meet some other guy, someone who is a complete stranger to me, someone I don’t know. What am I to assume about this guy? He could be a nice guy, but it’s equally likely he’s an asshole. Men understand this about other men. We spend half our waking lives driving on the roads with other men, flicking each other off. Women seem to labor under this universal premise that all other women are part of a special Virtual Union, and they are honor-bound to protect other womens’ interests.

So this is marketing, and we’re slow to realize it because to understand the effect of the marketing, you have to acknowledge that men and women are different and they’re built by design to behave differently. We don’t like to acknowledge that. And yet, there has to be a discrepancy somewhere, because as I discussed above nothing ever seems to deal a tougher blow to the men. It’s always the women.

Yeah, you know, we’re talking about water coming up and drowning people. Women hardest hit? Women are more bouyant. So what’re you talking about?

Funny you say that. Not too long ago I was with the wife in the car and a song by Buckcherry came on. I love the song. It’s loud and really rocks. That said, the language in the song is a bit salty. My wife deemed the song to be “offensive to women”. I asked why, if he’s talking about this particular women, who he thinks is crazy but enjoyable to sleep with, is an indicment of all women. “Because” was all she could muster and was incredulous that I had even asked.
- Duffy | 07/10/2006 @ 11:18

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Women Hardest HitMonday, July 10th, 2006

Women Hardest Hit
Monday, July 10th, 2006