House of Eratosthenes

Dr. Helen has a post up that has some Republicans commiserating with noted Hollyweird lefty Alec Baldwin…no mean feat that. It’s got to do with men getting reamed up the ass during a divorce, specifically, with regard to custody and visitation.

I had a contentious divorce because I wanted a meaningful custody of my daughter. I refused to settle for becoming a “Disney Dad,” one whose role is nothing more than outings to theme parks once or twice a month. Instead I wanted to share the joys and responsibilities of raising my daughter. I wanted to be a real father, and the system punished me for that. Ultimately, I refused to give in..

I am glad Baldwin wrote this book, perhaps this topic will get some attention because he is a celebrity. But it makes me think that if Baldwin had such problems with the system with all his fame and money, what chance does the average joe have?

Pete, commenter #1, speaks for me:

As long as Baldwin is still a shill for the dhimmicrats, he’s feeding the very same party which betrayed him the most.

…and then we have William, commenter #17. Heh. Heh heh heh. Get ready, you divorced-dad nobodies who don’t come by to not read The Blog That Nobody Reads. Hope you’re not drinking anything over your keyboards.

I’m tired of whiners.

All of the comments above are whine[r]s.

Our youngest son – 34 – was married a couple of weeks ago.

We, his parents, are approaching 40 years.

His Aunt and Uncle are well beyond 30 years

His brother is at about 15 years.

His Mother and Father-in-law are also over 30 years of marriage.

It takes a hell of a lot of work to stay married.

Quite whining.

Har! Four words for you, William. “We need to talk.” Or one…”Nothing” (in response to, “What’s Wrong?”). Or any one of a number of other tired cliches that have come to mean the same, to any thinking man, as Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here. “I don’t see you the same way anymore.” “You’re a different person.” “We’ve grown apart.” “It’s not you, it’s me.” “I’m not content.” “I’m unfulfilled.” “We should go in for counseling.” …etc. And, it’s off to the lawyers. What’ve you got to say about it? Why did you think anyone would stop and ask you?

A man can bust his ass to stay married just as hard and just as long as he cares to. Spending time in the house, calling in to work sick when you aren’t sick…famillee valyooz…church…Chuckee Cheez…the works. If it isn’t reciprocated, well, he might as well spend that time down on the golf course or the rifle range instead. Two make a marriage, one makes a divorce. A married man is the low nadir among people who think they have control over their lives, and that’s just a fact.

Kind of scary you consider yourself sufficiently informed to comment, and still don’t know this…

Speaking from the perspective “never been touched observer in the bleachers”, it’s odd. I have seen people talk about having happy marriages, but only with that phrase. When I see women get together, I see them tear apart their husbands. I have never seen a woman say something good about her man in public when he wasn’t around to witness it. I’m sure it must happen somewhere. When men get together to talk, they mention how much they love their wives, followed with advice to never disagree with her, don’t talk to her, just listen. I have never seen a man say something that indirectly implies that getting married improved his life. Again, I’m sure it happens. It all adds up to a Lot of negative advertising out there when it comes to “Marriage”. And I don’t see any willingness on the womens side to admit wrongdoing, and attempt to fix what they have broken. Just calls for Men to be more responsible, though I have yet to get anyone to suggest what more men could do to be more responsible, in a legal sense. Oh, well, it’s an easy problem to fix, and I don’t have to do anything to make it work.
- Robert Mitchell Jr. | 09/29/2008 @ 23:39
To take a few steps back (in order to find common ground):

Blogging allows folks to make generalizations. A person’s point of view can seem really narrow if not couched correctly.

There.

The generalization is that marriage is bad for males. The reality is: it can be, but not always. Morgan’s tale is a cautionary one, but probably doesn’t happen as often as we are led to believe.

I appreciate Morgan baring his soul, but I realize it doesn’t resonate with me, someone who is happily married (age 38, married 13). I truly admit I got lucky. To answer RM above: “I have never seen a man say something that indirectly implies that getting married improved his life. Again, I’m sure it happens.” Well, I’m saying it now. And there are people I know who also think this ,but it’s not something most folks willingly say.

It is also true that some men whine about their lot in life, whereas in the past that was verboten. It should still be frowned upon for the most part because overcoming obstacles (without whining about them) was what made this country great, to borrow a tired cliche.

I have read enough of this site to agree with MKF: he is not a whiner. Every post has a tinge of optimism.

There have been so many technological advancements in our lives that we feel justified in throwing everything old out (paper invoices, punch cards, land lines, traditional female roles, morality, religion, getting married before having children, etc.) Every day I see someone thinking that everything new is better. Truth is, there are probably a lot of folks in the old age home laughing at us right now, or crying that their grandchildren DIDN’T LISTEN to them. (BTW, love that South Park episode where every one is shouting WE DIDN’T LISTEN! – cracks me up.) The young folks love it when everything new is better, and want it to be always true, because it gives them the advantage: they can learn the new thing faster than the old folks, and the sense of superiority is intoxicating. Companies are hiring the younger because they value computer experience, and the world seems less scary when the playing field is leveled. It is a problem as old as time itself.
- wch | 09/30/2008 @ 09:53
Wow, that’s pretty profound, worthy of a post in and of itself. Thanks for that. My views of optimism and pessimism are a tad “nuanced”…they’re summed up in Thing I Know #128. Of all the things we can screw up by making ’em black-and-white issues, I think the optimism/pessimism deal ranks fairly high. And in my own defense, I’ve only made that mistake once…might be persuaded to make it again soon, who knows. But if I do, that’d be like an eighteen-year gap between marriages. Hardly like the psychotic hamster-in-a-wheel.

William (the guy mentioned in the heading, not you, wc) is making the same mistake about marriage, as our peacenik folks are making about peace. The idea that one side of a transaction (love or war) can unilaterally decide things are going to be rosy. It just ain’t so. People like this reveal, by their comments, their inexperience at dealing with other consciousnesses possessing different sequences of priorities. Which is quite telling for William. I can’t help but wonder what his marriage is like.
- mkfreeberg | 09/30/2008 @ 10:35
“People like this reveal, by their comments, their inexperience at dealing with other consciousnesses possessing different sequences of priorities.”

As much as I hate piling a compliment onto someone who already gets plenty (sheesh!), I have to say that this is a wholly brilliant aphorism. If I had to change anything about it, I would replace “inexperience” with “ineptitude.”

My wife and I have sets of priorities that are broadly divergent, and only at times of random chance and deep profoundness to they really come together and intermingle. The rest of the time we respect and encourage our different priorities, and find it easy as pie to not get in the way of them. We absolutely love that about each other, and because of it we often wonder why other married people find it so damned hard to make a decision as a couple. Your quote up there is exactly why, and it’s why so many marriages are tiresome exercises in acquiescence instead of cooperation.
- Andy | 10/01/2008 @ 18:37
Like, wow, man. I think as soon as I’ve sobered up, that’s more than deserving of a Best Sentence I’ve Heard or Read Lately (BSIHORL) award. I think. No, it’s not grass, it’s Chardonnay. Lemme sleep it off and take another gander at it. “…tiresome exercises in acquiescence instead of cooperation.” DUDE. You should be a writer. You just described my pathetic existence in the last half of 1991. I mean, to a tee. It’s supposed to be cooperation…instead…it’s acquiescence. Or, to be even more precise about it, — surrender.

Isn’t it funny? Those who were all about “the common good” yesteryear, are all about these designated victim classes gettin’ theirs, and hell with everyone else. Those who were all about the rights of the individual yesteryear, are imploring everyone else to look out for those of different classes…often, to no avail whatsoever.
- mkfreeberg | 10/01/2008 @ 20:32

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William is Tired of WhinersMonday, September 29th, 2008

William is Tired of Whiners
Monday, September 29th, 2008