House of Eratosthenes

Quick. Name a news service that is oh so unbiased or, at least, has a sterling reputation for same. A news service that takes great pains to remain objective no matter what the subject matter. Mainstream as mainstream can possibly get, entrusted with the noble endeavor to inform those who…

Oh, stop laughing already.

Anyway, the answer would be “Reuters.” That hard-hitting news organization that doesn’t even use the word “terrorist.”

Reuters, which needs kneepads and a bib whenever it “interviews” Democrats.

If Democrats win control of the U.S. Congress in the Nov. 7 election, it would turn the Capitol upside down and create a political nightmare for the already embattled President George W. Bush.
:
“In some ways it would be a nightmare for Bush, but in other ways it could be an opportunity,” said Norman Ornstein, a congressional scholar at the American Enterprise Institute.

Zowie! We’re already off to a great start in this analysis. The “scholar” explored how a Democratic party victory next month would be bittersweet for the President, presenting him with both a “nightmare” and with “opportunity”; our unbiased news service decided to pick up on the negative intangible, which plainly was not intended to receive the emphasis — and teased the story with it. Great move! No agendas here!

What did the scholar mean by the “opportunity” angle?

Ornstein said Bush, who denounces Democrats as soft on terrorism, could move toward the political center and reach out to Democrats in his final two years in office to overhaul U.S. immigration laws and the Social Security retirement program, two goals he has failed to accomplish.

But Ornstein said that was unlikely. “I’ve talked to a lot of people who know him well and are really close to him. I have yet to find one who thinks he will change his modus operandi dramatically,” he said.

Okay, here’s the money question, since we’re all a bunch of voters who are thinking of voting for Democrats next month. This is what it’s all about: What does “overhaul” mean in that context? What are you doing when you “overhaul” the immigration system? What are you doing when you “overhaul” Social Security? Let in more illegal immigrants? Throw the doors wide open? Slam them shut for good? Something in between? What? Make Social Security pay out more? Put more people on the receiving end of the program? Maybe tie Social Security and immigration together, so that illegal immigrants can get a whole lot of Social Security money? What are we talking about here?

I need to know! I’m thinking of voting for Democrats! I need the information!

Silly me. You aren’t supposed to want an answer to that question. I guess…I have the “opportunity” to go looking for it in some other article. Reuters doesn’t think it’s relevant.

What do they think is relevant. Well, the next few paragraphs tell us…

Democrats deny Republican claims they would try to impeach Bush and remove him from office. Instead, they plan to push their own agenda, “A New Direction for America,” which includes raising the federal minimum wage for the first time in a decade, ending some tax breaks to oil companies and making college more affordable by reducing federal student loan interest rates.

Democrats also promise to implement recommendations from the 9/11 Commission to bolster security, ease the threat of global warming and, in response to influence-peddling scandals on Capitol Hill, clean up the way Congress does business.

Reuters went on to demand answers as to how this was going to be done. How are Democrats going to change the global climate?

Eh…no. No, they didn’t. They didn’t ask a single question about this stuff, or if they did, it didn’t make it into print. Yeah, that’s right. All you get is the crappy promises made. No plan. Just free advertising, that’s all.

Reuters, great job…you can stand up now. Don’t forget the breath mint, and you need to wipe that slime from your chin.

I’d just like to go back in time, let’s say, twenty years and say Hey everybody! Guess what’s going to be unbiased, objective, hard-hitting news in 2006? Well believe it or not, one of our major political parties is going to pledge to change the freaking weather and our centrist, unbiased, agenda-free mainstream news organizations are going to not ask a single critical question about it. I’m not kidding! That’s really the way it’s going to be in twenty years.

Would they believe me? Well, I was around in 1986…no way would I have believed me. I would think this would be much crazier than the boasting about the time machine in the first place. And yet…here we are.

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Sunday, October 22nd, 2006