House of Eratosthenes

What a bunch of assholes, right? But then again, the guy who finally broke the blockade had a little bit of asshole in him, too. That’s right too, isn’t it? You can produce a favorable outcome and still be an asshole. Last I checked. I suppose that means being an asshole can have positive aspects to it.

Certainly, there have been people who’ve done positive things, who left others in their wake, calling them assholes. And meaning it. Well you know what Churchill said. But I can’t use dirty words in my headlines; that would be discourteous to my readers. So I rely on this euphemism cooked up originally by, I think, Neal Boortz. Although it could have been George Washington.

If you think this is going toward a defense of Donald Trump, you’re wrong. Although, actually, that got me thinking too…I’ve long had this rule about assholes, that being an asshole might be a subjective thing, left up to the opinions of others, immeasurable, right up until someone works at being an asshole. At that point, the debating has to stop. That would make Donald Trump an asshole, no doubt, because he certainly does work at it.

I mean, think on it. How many people do you know who’ve worked hard at being assholes, and failed?

So that certainly works. But the definition is too narrow. We don’t even have to break a sweat before we can find quite a few specimens outside of it, who certainly should qualify as assholes. Wikipedia says what we’re talking about is “people who are viewed as stupid, incompetent, unpleasant, or detestable.” That certainly does work better. But, as one who has heard and used the word more than occasionally, I have the viewpoint that the idea-hat being hung on the word-peg, has more substance to it. There is an effort, consistently upheld throughout all these usages, to communicate something that goes beyond.

Assholes generally fall into two categories: Those who are dismissed far more easily than they might have thought they could be dismissed (“I booted that little asshole out of my office and he won’t be back”), and those who build up a desire to dismiss them, because of a lingering inability to do so (“One of these days I’d like to tell that asshole to take this job and shove it”). That is the super-simple Dewey Decimal System of assholes, the ones who don’t expect you to dismiss them, and the ones you’d like to dismiss but can’t. The pervasive theme is dismissal. That’s where the “stupid, incompetent, unpleasant or detestable” part of it comes in. The reason it’s important to point out the dismissal aspect, is it does a better job of capturing the true meaning. Some people have really stupid dogs that they’d like to keep around forever, if only they could. Stupid creatures are assholes only if you want them out of your sight, so stupid is not the litmus test. The desire to dismiss is the litmus test.

These two overly-broad categories of asshole — the ones you can dismiss and the ones you can’t — can be thought-of as the ones who are beneath your level of authority, and the ones who are above it. Subordinate and superior assholes.

The takeaway from all this? Not sure there is one. But, given how many times per week we call each other assholes, or are at least tempted to do so, it might be good to keep in mind why the impulse beckons. Once the question is opened, it shouldn’t take too much soul-searching to resolve it.

Some among us might make the unpleasant discovery that they want to call others assholes, because they’ve been outperformed, outclassed, outmaneuvered, out-earned, outgunned. They might make the discovery that it’s nothing more than raw jealousy. Which might not mean a lot…but if they’re conscious of that, and still cave in to the temptation of thinking of their betters as assholes, and announcing it to all within earshot…

Well, that would make them assholes. The very worst kind, in fact. Am I right?

In Team America terms, there are three kinds of people: Dicks, Pussies and Assholes. The people blocking the highway were assholes. The guy who broke the blockade is a dick. 🙂

Me, I can’t imagine ever being stopped by a group like that on the highway. If they’re in front of me, I’m going to keep moving slowly forward and they can choose to move out of my way or go along for the ride. I guess that makes me a dick.
- cloudbuster | 08/13/2015 @ 06:24
Heh. I see it was actually a woman who broke the blockade. Good for her. I’ve been noticing that in public life, there are an awful log of cases where it’s women … Ann Coulter, Camille Paglia, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Michelle Malkin, Pam Geller, Asche Schow, and so on, who are exhibiting more traditional “balls” than men.

Watch the video and look how easy it was for her to break through. All it took was for one person to decide, “I’ve had enough and I’m not going to let a bunch of assholes intimidate me into passive compliance.” I don’t understand why the older man being interviewed didn’t do it himself. He seems completely pussified to me.
- cloudbuster | 08/13/2015 @ 06:35
Protestors asking why the SUV driver wasn’t charge? Hey, assholes, she wasn’t charged because you were standing on a fucking interstate deliberately interfering with the free movement of innocent people. You got what was fucking coming to you.
- cloudbuster | 08/13/2015 @ 06:37
Mindful of The Dewey Decimal System of assholery…..
“They might make the discovery that it’s nothing more than raw jealousy.”
Hmmm….jealousy, or envy?
Where does the Dunning Kruger rating system of too-stupid-to-know-I’m-stupid fit in here?
Where does the inverse “Sheldon” system fit in?
- CaptDMO | 08/13/2015 @ 09:14
The guy (gal?) who broke the blockade is not an asshole. This person is the Hero of the Day.
This person risked property damage and personal injury to set a precedent for returning to a status quo in which the roadway is for driving. The protestors and all the cops standing around doing NOTHING have unilaterally decided that the road is for protesting and publicity (and lying down, filming, cavorting, and otherwise blowing smoke up their own asses and everyone elses’) at the expense of driving. They privileged this stupid protest over the acknowledged purpose of the road which is that it’s for driving. This brave driver said “no” to that, this protest is NOT more important than my ability to drive unimpeded by anything other than the rules of the road from Point A to Point B in my car. Also, BLM can KMA.
- AMartel | 08/13/2015 @ 12:31

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