House of Eratosthenes

Oh dear, and I thought now that we elected The Chosen One, all this was going to fall away like Quentin Tarantino’s private parts in that Zombie movie of his.

Reason #5 of the seven reasons Americans suck at soccer…

Does anyone really like Americans?

Usually, when there’s someone in your family who’s not as good at a sport as you are, you tend to try and help them out so that they can get better and (hopefully) provide more of a challenge to you later on.

With the US though, the rest of the world isn’t so kind. We’ve made it acceptable to make fun of US soccer instead of going there and investing in the sport in America. We’ve made it acceptable to mock them instead of training them and coaching them. They tend to beat the world at everything else so its payback.

That’s why when someone like David Beckham – an excellent businessman – goes to the US to invest in soccer, the world laughs at him. Would you laugh at Bill Gates if he invested in a new technology startup? People would scramble to get involved. The world doesn’t take Americans seriously, and soccer is worse off as a result.

Three things:

One. Sometime over the last forty-two years, I’ll admit to having some ugly thoughts about people who could do something better than I could. It’s a natural human reaction. I’ll also confess to having taken some people less than seriously. That’s a logical reaction, depending on the situation at hand. These events…were all different. I have yet to be jealous of someone for performing at something better than me, and simultaneously, failing to take them seriously. Really. I don’t get how that’s done. How do you do that?

Two. FrankJ says it better than I can, as we pointed out before…

Hey, Europe!

So how many black leaders have you elected?

Yeah, I thought so. So shut up.

Racist crackers.

Three. It’s a mistake to talk about what is “thought” by a large collective of people, and an even bigger mistake to believe someone talking that way. I know of two occasions in which one is inspired to do this…the speaker is trying to engage a self-fulfilling prophecy, making the large collective think what he’s saying it’s already thinking (specifically, in this case, that Americans suck or are bad or stink or are poo poo heads or whatever). The other occasion would be after some kind of polling process, during which time he went door-to-door and made sure “everyone thinks” what he’s saying everyone within that collective thinks. Bullying and polling. And this asshole is talking about the entire world, so I doubt he went door to door polling everyone, or even anyone.

Thing I Know #35. The individual attribute ascribed to the aggregate entity, manifests a weak argument ripe for re-thinking.

But back to point…two. The Chosen One in the White House. This stuff is all supposed to slide to a stop right about now, isn’t it? He Who Walks On Water seems to have a “mandate” of sorts to bludgeon Congress into forking out bailout after bailout after bailout, so this will cost us dearly over the next four years. When’s this product we’re buying at such an exorbitant rate, the worldwide adoration, showing up at our doorstep? Does UPS have it somewhere? Does it have a tracking number?

Update: The FARK thread has been greenlit so you don’t need to buy a TOTALFARK subscription to follow it.

Which happens several times a day.

What’s unusual is that the FARK kids are comin’ out swinging in defense of America. Yeah! And they’re doing a fairly clever, snarky, above-par job of doing it too. Go see.

America doesn’t take Americans seriously.
- mythusmage | 12/25/2008 @ 15:01

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“The World Doesn’t Take Americans Seriously”Thursday, December 25th, 2008

“The World Doesn’t Take Americans Seriously”
Thursday, December 25th, 2008