Alarming News: I like Morgan Freeberg. A lot.
American Digest: And I like this from "The Blog That Nobody Reads", because it is -- mostly -- about me. What can I say? I'm on an ego trip today. It won't last.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: We were following a trackback and thinking "hmmm... this is a bloody excellent post!", and then we realized that it was just part III of, well, three...Damn. I wish I'd written those.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: ...I just remembered that I found a new blog a short while ago, House of Eratosthenes, that I really like. I like his common sense approach and his curiosity when it comes to why people believe what they believe rather than just what they believe.
Brutally Honest: Morgan Freeberg is brilliant.
Dr. Melissa Clouthier: Morgan Freeberg at House of Eratosthenes (pftthats a mouthful) honors big boned women in skimpy clothing. The picture there is priceless--keep scrolling down.
Exile in Portales: Via Gerard: Morgan Freeberg, a guy with a lot to say. And he speaks The Truth...and it's fascinating stuff. Worth a read, or three. Or six.
Just Muttering: Two nice pieces at House of Eratosthenes, one about a perhaps unintended effect of the Enron mess, and one on the Gore-y environ-movie.
Mein Blogovault: Make "the Blog that No One Reads" one of your daily reads.
The Virginian: I know this post will offend some people, but the author makes some good points.
Poetic Justice: Cletus! Ah gots a laiv one fer yew...
As in…TOS (The Original Series). This captures, oh, I’d say, more than fifty percent of ’em.
The Enterprise urgently needs some kind of medicine, or rocket fuel, which can only be found on the planet that happens to be “dead ahead” on the viewscreen. Kirk orders Spock, McCoy, and some poor bastard in a red shirt with a funny last name nobody’s ever seen before, to join him in Transporter Room Three.
They beam down to a planet full of paper rocks and an orange sky, and decide to split up and look around. Kirk orders phasers on stun, and Spock starts scanning things with his tricorder which starts to make a funny whirring sound. The poor bastard in the red shirt yells back that he found something, and lets loose with a blood-curdling scream. Everybody else comes running, McCoy scans the crewman and grimly announces, “He’s dead, Jim.”
An old man comes out from nowhere, and announces, in perfect English, that he happens to be the dude who runs the entire planet. Yeah, right there, where they beamed down. Amazing. He invites the remnants of the landing party to be his guest. Spock finds the old man’s house to be “fascinating.”
The old man has a buxom, glassy-eyed daughter whom he appears to have produced without the benefit of any kind of wife or mother worth mentioning. She’s never seen a man before, and needs to be taught how to kiss. Kirk obliges. Meanwhile, Spock and McCoy are captured and thrown in a dungeon.
While being held captive, Spock and McCoy form some interesting theories about what’s going on. McCoy loses his temper with Spock and calls him a long-eared hobgoblin.
After some obligatory surprises, betrayals, and thinly veiled social commentary, Kirk, Spock and McCoy discover the source of all the strange things that have been going on: A six thousand year old computer, constructed by long-dead aliens, hidden behind a paper mache secret panel. Kirk kills it by presenting it with a logical conundrum. Must’ve been running on an unpatched version of Windows 98.
Kirk, Spock and McCoy gotta go. The buxom lady pledges to worship Kirk forever as he takes off for the stars. The old man, in some way, admits he sucks so much, being a bad guy & all. Kirk, Spock and McCoy transport back up to the bridge. The death of the poor bastard in the red shirt now long forgotten, they share in some witty reparte as the credits roll.
Anything I missed? I’ll handle The Incredible Hulk next.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
My eyes mist at the memories you bring out of a dusty corner:
- smitty1e | 03/09/2009 @ 23:06Stardrek
and I still enjoy watching the original show.
- pdwalker | 03/10/2009 @ 00:09I think you confused the title of this one with another one you were writing. This should have been:
“Obama’s Vision of Foreign Policy”
- Andy | 03/10/2009 @ 11:18It made me chuckle, and I forwarded the link on to three fellow fans of the original series.
Course, I know the original show well enough to recognize that what you really did was come up with a composite of several actual plots from the show. I detected elements from “Catspaw,” “Rayna,” “The Squire of Gothos,” “The Retrun of the Archons,” and the one about the salt vampire that has the ability to shapeshift. (Can’t recall the title of that episode but my fellow die-hard fans will know the one I mean.)
Still, very creative satire, Morgan.
- cylarz | 03/10/2009 @ 15:49The bit about the red shirt guys getting killed off shortly after beaming down…that’s been a running joke among the fans ever since the show stopped filming, back in 1969. Every ‘Trek fan, no matter which series he prefers, knows about THAT business.
- cylarz | 03/10/2009 @ 15:51Yes, it’s a little tired, but it wouldn’t be complete without that. I think the redshirt trope provided more entertainment, intentional or otherwise, than anything.
I remember when the episodes were fresh, we’d gather around this big ol’ dusty color TV. And there would be that familiar bridge, with Uhura, Spock, Kirk, Chekov, Sulu…and some guy. And Mom and Dad would yell in unison, “Uh oh!”
- mkfreeberg | 03/10/2009 @ 15:56Possibly the greatest gift I ever received was the “Star Trek Episode Computer” which my mom got me from The Federation Trading Post in San Francisco (I also got a tribble). It consisted of a series of choices which would keep branching into other series until you got to the end. One of the branches had “He’s dead, Jim” as the only choice, repeated six times. I still have it, somewhere, probably with my “Superman vs. Muhammad Ali” comic book.
- chunt31854 | 03/10/2009 @ 21:24“Live long and prosper” Morgan
(Said while holding up hand with fingers split and a single eyebrow raised.
- Fai Mao | 03/10/2009 @ 23:26Missing:
While Spock and McCoy are in jail, Scotty is sitting in the captain’s chair and whining to Kirk about some mysterious force that is pulling the Enterprise down out of the sky (and drinking whisky – we all know it).
——————-
- ColoradoRight | 03/11/2009 @ 16:22I love the unpatched Windows 98 – but it really is an original release of Windows ME.