House of Eratosthenes

The Trek 7300 and I were here when I was about to grab my chest and keel over. That’s alright, it just shows I’m pushing the envelope. What’s not all right is that I was 16 miles into my ride. Sixteen…miles…this is beneath pathetic. This is nothing. It is some one-quarter of the distance I’ve gone before. What is this, Christmas “gift wrapping” that needs to be unloaded from my gut and derriere?

Well, perhaps I’d know better if I had more experience with slime tubes. This is the first time I wore one out; it’s lasted me pretty well. I think I snapped it up sometime in August, July maybe. I inflated it at 17 miles according to my bike computer, and at 22 miles I had to inflate it again. Okay, the tube’s gunnybags. And the slimy insides seem to have turned to a green liquid, which further implies impending retirement and decrepitude.

Someone sold me a 43mm tire to fit on a 35mm rim. Said it would work out fine. I can’t remember who this shyster is…but it is now a chiseled-in-granite article in my faltering encyclopedia of bike knowledge, that this is not fine. I just got done staring at the Kevlar bands that were visible to the naked eye…all the way around the rim, 360 degrees, where rubber meets metal. It was clear the fabric was not intended to be bent this way.

Herein lies the appeal. I am not, contrary to what some have said, a “lover of bicycle riding.” It fucking hurts. But the culture in which we live is becoming so anesthetized, that there aren’t that many opportunities left to live & die by your ability to perceive things, and think about what they mean. It’s a puzzle, filled with parts that work or do not work. One must sit in judgment of each of them, and it is not a kid’s game, one must do this competently if one wants to live long enough to reach home again.

The slime tube, I think, should be declared a success overall. You can neglect the thing, and if it’s more-or-less whole, it will keep the pressure. The tire on the other hand is a huge fail. Of course, I had spare tubes — of course! — but spare tubes don’t help you much out there if your tire is killing your tubes.

Another lesson learned is to keep the ear bud charged up. Kid called. Girlfriend called. Kid called. Girlfriend called. We-ell…I spent about six or seven hours out there, and covered a piddly little 25 miles. Felt like I should be checked into intensive care when it was done. I’ve covered between 60 and 70 before, and came out of it in much better shape. You know…still in the mode of “don’t anybody look to me to do anything for the rest of the day,” which is to be expected.

But not “OMDFG I gotta collapse and take a nap or else I’m gonna fucking die.”

I think my equipment needs an overhaul from stem to stern. I know it makes an enormous difference. And I’m not that fat. Yet. I don’t think.

Herein lies the appeal. I am not, contrary to what some have said, a “lover of bicycle riding.” It fucking hurts. But the culture in which we live is becoming so anesthetized, that there aren’t that many opportunities left to live & die by your ability to perceive things

Ditto.

Sitting on our butts indoors (car or house or cubicle) all our lives is NOT enough of a life. Need to get out and experience heat, cold, pain, exertion just so we know how good we have it, and in case we should ever have to do something that requires us to experience these things to survive… so we won’t be shocked into inaction.

Morgan… have I ever told you about “walkabout”?
- philmon | 01/17/2010 @ 18:35
I’ve never ridden a bicycle. Really. I grew up in the dirt-and-goathead infested land of New Mexico and those things would chew up a bicycle tire in seconds. So my preferred form of self torture is running.

god I hate running, especially now that I am out of shape and trying to get back in shape. I get about a mile and start to die. Used to be able to run four miles no problem, now I can only think about running that distance and even that makes me tired.

Me, I am fat. Not horribly, but loosing about 6 inches around the waist will be a very good thing.
- Instinct | 01/17/2010 @ 19:46
I started commuting to work last summer. Call me a Nancy for sitting out the winter, but this rain out here is just not something I am going to deal with every day. Still, the decision to start riding was the best one I’ve made in a long time.

What sucks about bike commuting, though, is being out there at the same time as so many other bike commuters. All these hyper-militant, rolling REI advertisements who are the ones responsible for giving cyclists a bad name. Goons and turds, to the last!

I bought my bike at REI.
- Andy | 01/18/2010 @ 08:57
And, uh, you don’t actually wear spandex, do you?
- Andy | 01/18/2010 @ 08:58
Nope. Don’t even have a cape.

Of course, those assholes in their red-and-yellow clown costumes riding equipment that costs like a new car, sure make it easy when they pass you by a good 10mph right? It has often gotten me to wondering.
- mkfreeberg | 01/18/2010 @ 10:17
I also love the riders here in the bay area that think the road laws don’t apply to them. Stop signs? Why those are just for cars; Stop lights? Well, I slowed down some.

The worst experience I’ve had with them was when a woman in her spandex racing outfit with a baby behind her ran a stop sign as I was already halfway through the intersection. I hit my breaks, and she flips me off. Made me almost wish I wasn’t able to stop in time… almost.
- Instinct | 01/18/2010 @ 10:52
I actually DO wear the “spandex” shorts … the super wicking material. Far more comfortable wihen it’s hot, and just in general. We have no showers at work, so I have to wipe down with an alcohol/water soaked cloth while I’m changing. Bright solid yellow jersey so drivers can see me easily, same kind of wicking and breathing material (but not spandex).

It also tells me, yes, you’re riding today if I get right in the riding clothes out of the shower in the morning. Puts me in the right frame of mind. No backing down.

And I do obey traffic rules.
- philmon | 01/18/2010 @ 11:00
Started riding again a year ago. Trying to lose some weight and too chicken (and broke) for lipo suction. I like my bike, I don’t love it. I do love to ride as long as everyone stays sane and the competitiveness doesn’t get out of hand.
Yes, I do stuff my fat ass into spandex. But my outfit is not color coordinated so I think I’m safe there.
- Six | 01/18/2010 @ 20:21
Solid black shorts. Yellow top.

It’s good for your heart, too. And lungs. Helps you get in shape for mountain hiking. Or running your grandson up and down the hall on your shoulders.

All kinds of good reasons to ride.

Including being able to drink more beer without having to go up a waist size 😉
- philmon | 01/18/2010 @ 21:23
My goodness, all the comments this has attracted. And every single one of them from a dude. Dudes about my age, fighting the battle of the bulge, like me.

Not sure if I’m feeling vindicated here, or vaguely nauseous.
- mkfreeberg | 01/18/2010 @ 21:36
Eh. It’s up to you.

Me, I got things to do before I die, and a few of them involve physical exertion — so I wanna stay in shape as long as I can.

And yeah, I’d kinda like it if my wife could continue to look at me and think something closer to “day-am!” than feeling naseous.

I absolve you.

Consider yourself vindicated. 🙂
- philmon | 01/18/2010 @ 21:44
I’ve seen me in spandex.
Nauseous. Definitely nauseous.
- Six | 01/18/2010 @ 22:49
[…] I shouldn’t have to wait until mid-March for the get-blood-puming season to start. I already declared the season open a good month and a half […]
- House of Eratosthenes | 02/27/2010 @ 11:46
[…] season had an early start but stumbled out of the gate, and spent some time just not working out. Now that it’s June I […]
- House of Eratosthenes | 06/06/2010 @ 10:22

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Spandex Season, 2010, Opening DaySunday, January 17th, 2010

Spandex Season, 2010, Opening Day
Sunday, January 17th, 2010