House of Eratosthenes

“Blog” itself is short for “weblog,” which is short for “we blog because we weren’t very popular in high school and we’re trying to gain respect and admiration without actually having to be around people.”

Creating your own blog is about as easy as creating your own urine, and you’re about as likely to find someone else interested in it. One popular technique for building readership is to send e-mail to more well-trafficked blogs offering to exchange links with them. One popular response from those blogs is to laugh derisively and hit the Delete button.

The snippet about not being very popular in high school is particularly painful, it’s like twisting the knife. Ooh, that hurt. Excuse me, I’m going to have my mom bring a cup of warm milk down here in the basement so I can curl up in my pajamas with my teddy bear and suck my thumb. A few episodes of Dawson’s Creek and I should be good as new.

Look, Sjoberg, this may come as a shock…but people who were “very popular in high school” are generally pretty fucking irritating. Truth be told, I’d much rather be shipwrecked with a bunch of people who weren’t very popular in high school, than with a bunch of people who were. I mean, ignore the problems with the stuck-up snotty valley girl bitches for a second or two — the nerds and I, would have all that cool stuff made out of bamboo. People who were popular in high school? What the fuck can they do anyway. Tell them to smash something, give them a rock, and you’ll just get back a blank stare. That’s if you can get them to put down their cell phone and hold the rock.

Is there a more delusional character, anywhere, than the guy who hates blogs? Blogging is a medium of communication; give me an idea, no matter what it is, I can find a blog in favor of that idea somewhere, and another blog arguing against it. Hating blogs, is like hating paper, or the letter “S,” or hating b-flat. Makes no sense. But people do it anyway.

I have noticed there are a lot of people walking around who have devoted their entire lives to cultivating what could be called the “gift of gab.” Placed in situations where the g.o.g. enjoys less than pivotal usefulness, they become quite emotional. They don’t need anyone to point out to them, the situations that call for something besides refined verbal delivery skills. They don’t need anyone pointing that out…just seeing it for themselves, really sets them off. Really gets ’em going. It’s like they’ve got a great big hole in their lives, a hole they can forget most of the time, and they’ve just been reminded of it.

There’s a certain fragility to them. Kind of like the woman who took her husband back after he slept with her best friend, with a promise that from this day forward we shall never mention her name ever again…and just found out he’s been having trysts with her at lunchtime every day, and got her pregnant too. It’s like a real deep-rooted insecurity has been probed, and this insecurity has something to do with their position in life itself. It seems the g.o.g. folks peaked early — like, before the high school in which they were oh-so-popular — and they damn well know it, they’d prefer to forget it, and the blogs just remind them of it.

You’re just jealous you weren’t at the front of the Homecoming procession with the captain of the cheerleading squad!

How dare you express an opinion, peon!

🙂
- Good Lieutenant | 09/06/2006 @ 07:07
Now, now, now Morgan, someone’s reading your blog! Come on, that�s a good boy, that warm milk should make you all better� You’ve got a couple of comments showing – okay, well one comment for two posts, but that means someone’s reading! And, I have you listed on my “favorites” so I must have been visiting regularly for a while – and then today – just said to myself, “Hmm, think I’ll see why I put this one in favorites.” The answer is the purple. I must have decided that someone whose blog is purple deserved a spot in favorites – purple being my favorite color for as long as I can remember.

Anyway, this post was good. And I wasn’t one of those nerds in school, either!

Also – do like what you’ve done for the 2,996 project – and I’ve got a new book now, Blogging for Dummies, so hopefully I can learn how to do something similar – put Yvette Nicole Moreno’s picture up on my blog in a like fashion.

Oh, and lastly, I’ll link to your blog if you link to mine! Just as soon as I learn how to do that � put links up on the side� My new book should tell me how, right?
- Sabra | 09/09/2006 @ 04:50
Oh, and one more thing…

I was visiting a blog recently and where his “comments” section is, instead of it saying “0 comments” it says, “no one cares.”

I have got to learn how to do all these quirky little things. It will make it just all that much more fun!!!
- Sabra | 09/09/2006 @ 05:04

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent

Items of Interest

Monthly Archives

What They Say

Links

So You Hate Blogs, Do You IIWednesday, September 6th, 2006

So You Hate Blogs, Do You II
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006