House of Eratosthenes

So I am now in the eighth year of gifting the Internet with my opinions by way of a blog, and I’m thinking to myself…you know, there’s a problem here. I’m way too humble. Sure, I have my opinions, I put them out there, but I keep doing this providing logical justification for what I think, thing…seldom to never is the world ever granted access to my value system. In other words, I haven’t done a good job of saying THIS thing is awesome and wonderful, THAT thing is stupid-terrible-awful and sucks, just because I say so. You know, like the left-wing nitwits over on DailyKOS or something.

It occurred to me that I should do something to remedy this, when I read this thing that was linked over on Linkiest, “12 Unbelievable[y] Sexist Signs.”

I’m just going to go ahead and critique. Because, you know where I’m going with this…for a generation or two now, this inflammatory word “sexist” (adjective) has been defined pretty much unilaterally, by people who — well, let’s call them what they are, insufferable jackasses. Meaning, in Anno Domini Twenty Twelve, we have a pretty solid litmus test in place for the word “sexist” — and it has very, very little to do with reality. We’d be much better off just elevating me to position of “sexist definitions dictator” and letting me have the final word.

On with the show:

Verdict: NOT SEXIST. See, this is the whole problem: Telling a woman she looks good is sexist. No, no, no, fail, fail, fail. I do not want to live in that kind of a world, and neither does any sane straight man…or sane good-looking woman…or, anybody sane, at all. Good looking women are a treasure, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling them they look good.

Holy Moly! What got this whole thing started? Talk about a wrong turn!

Verdict: SEXIST. Yes, you can’t avoid it, that is sexist. Although I hope nobody was actually punished for it, it’s obviously a joke. So, again I have to ask, when did this happen? Sexist as all hell…but…clearly a joke…in a sane world, that is okay. Should be in ours.

SEXIST. And stupid.

But we don’t need fines or extra taxes or whatever…let the customers vote with their feet. Fucking idiot.

SEXIST. But, if it applies, pretty good advice.

SEXIST. And, again, stupid. Some guys are pretty good at kitchen work. Being female has nothing to do with it. Hey, if you don’t think the dude can do the kitchen work just don’t hire him! Why put it on a sign? Morons.

Verdict: Don’t know. Doesn’t matter. Just a dumb, stupid idea. You really want all the women to parade through your establishment topless? All? It’s a case of not being careful what ya wish for.

Verdict: SEXIST, immoral, stupid, not funny. Take a dim view of cheating, in either direction.

Verdict: NOT SEXIST. This whole notion that if you make fun of Hillary you’re making fun of women, is wrong-headed, intellectually lazy, intellectually vapid, intellectually childish and intellectually flaccid. Besides of which it’s partisan propaganda. And did I say wrong?

“Hillary” is not “women.” She’s a cynical left-wing hackish glad-handing grand-standing politician. Frankly, she should be ridiculed a whole lot more. And yes, take it from me, not all women like Hillary.

Verdict: NOT SEXIST. It is pretty obvious the butt of the joke here, is the slob who seems to think his mother will be available to pick up after him…and a few moments of serious contemplation will result in the conclusion that he is the sexist here, and not a sympathetic figure by any means.

Verdict: I can see how it might be offensive to some wives who’ve seen their husbands hit the road due to not being “happy,” but ya know what? That, by itself, doesn’t make it sexist. News flash, there are guys out there whose wives have vamoosh’d. They get to hear jokes all the time about cuckolded husbands whose dicks weren’t big enough, and what not…I’m sure they don’t appreciate it, but that’s life. Stuff happens. A joke that doesn’t quite tickle your fancy because of your own personal baggage, is not necessarily sexist.

In fact, this is less sexist than the other Hillary joke, two pictures ago, because it is meaningful political commentary. Think about it: Other than that embarrassing personal business from all those years ago, what are her qualifications? For anything? There aren’t any. Hillary, politics-wise, is the Monica Lewinsky episode. It defines her. She has nothing else to bring. Saying so, is free speech; definitely not sexist.

Verdict: SEXIST.

But kinda funny.

Verdict: Kind of on the line…not sure. Both the figurines are perceptibly female, and perhaps this is unnecessary, but I dunno. What if there was a man in there. Would it make sense still? Not really…let’s face it, who really gives a rat’s ass about running over a man? I’d be inclined to think it was sexist if the message was, look out for those woman-and-girl shoppers, you know you can’t count on them looking where they’re going…that would make the cut. But that’s not fair, that’s embellishing the message in order to change the outcome.

I think you see where I’m going with this. Noticing people happen to be female, is not sexist. Reading something into that could be, depending on the situation.

And noticing that they’re pretty is certainly not sexist.

We have to get rid of that. Soon. Like now.

You are a goddamn programmer.
Finally figured that out.
Keep up this kind of bullshit that no one cares about.
Might be helpful if the bitching and moaning here was directed toward every government offical (city, county. state, and federal).
That might be helpful but it may not be as easy as programming.
- drowningpuppies | 07/01/2012 @ 00:07
Wow.

Well, welcome.
- mkfreeberg | 07/01/2012 @ 08:01
I chased the link to the original article and went from there to the “vintage sexist ads,” nearly all of which appeared when I was a teenager or young man (’50s – ’70s). I might could be wrong about this, but I do NOT remember any wimmen I knew getting upset about any of those ads, and that would include my mom. Yeah, the douche ads were patently stupid but the rest were acceptable for the times. My bottom line: I’ve lived too damned long.

I pretty much agree with your verdicts on all the examples you posted.
- bpenni | 07/01/2012 @ 10:02
I think over on Planet Womyn, a very very tiny but very very vocal minority has been engaged in a process of “wagging the dog,” giving the impression that “all” women similarly object to things that have aroused the ire of this tiny vocal minority. I’m rather insulated from this crowd since, for the past decade plus, if I perceive a woman is part of it I run off in the other direction, screaming, usually. The women with whom I do associate, therefore, are not part of this. They don’t agree with me about everything, either, but where they disagree with this tiny vocal faction they’re a little bit upset about it, and tired of being stereotyped vis a vis their tastes & desires. But the situation persists.

From there, it seems our entire society has settled on this belief that the male libido can be programmed; we all find Meryl Streep to be sexier than um…well…Betty Page, because these loud angry females are to ticked off at anyone who would prefer Ms. Page, in fact, at the very idea. So we’re losing our understanding of what it is men like, and from there, we’re losing our appreciation for manhood itself. Far from being “the kind of bullshit that no one cares about” as our new friend intones, this is the kind of bullshit that can bring a strong society to its knees.

(Besides of which it’s a little surreal and strange to be typing in a hate screed against goddamn programmers, into a browser logged into the Internet. Makes me LOL.)
- mkfreeberg | 07/01/2012 @ 10:13
Morgan,

I know that some libs stop by here once in a while, but this is the first time I’ve seen a paste eater show up in a comment thread. What the hell?
- Physics Geek | 07/02/2012 @ 05:45
It’d be a boring world if we all agreed about everything, PG.

Although yes, it would be nice if a bit more clarity were to be offered regarding the point of disagreement. Well, if the gadfly can’t be bothered to define it, it’s not my place to ponder it. “tl;dr” as they say.
- mkfreeberg | 07/02/2012 @ 05:48
It’d be a boring world if we all agreed about everything, PG.

As my liberal friends and I say to each other all of the time. Hey, I’ve got no beef with honest, reasoned disagreements, as they tend to keep my wits sharp. I do, however, object to screeds that show the writer has no first language, unless you consider “psychotic” a language.
- Physics Geek | 07/02/2012 @ 07:28
Agreed. Of course, every now & then, there’s nothing to be done except laugh at the silliness.

The griping about programmers — onto the Internet — just remembered what my deja vu is. The classified ad telling the hunters they should be ashamed of themselves, they should buy their meat in the stores “where no animals would be harmed” or something. Yeah, like that.
- mkfreeberg | 07/02/2012 @ 08:05
Probably should stay away from a keyboard when drinking or pissed or both.
My apologies.
- drowningpuppies | 07/02/2012 @ 09:41
…we all find Meryl Streep to be sexier than um…well…Betty Page, because these loud angry females are to ticked off at anyone who would prefer Ms. Page, in fact, at the very idea.

I find Ms. Streep attractive. Really, I do… and I WOULD, in a heartbeat. I find her more attractive than Ms. Page, mainly coz Meryl is alive and Betty ain’t. Just a nit, I know. 🙂
- bpenni | 07/02/2012 @ 10:44
Hey I’m cool with it. You can like whoever…but be aware, that’s not good enough for the bossy broads I have in mind. If they find out so much as one single male, anywhere, is reading Playboy-not-for-the-articles, they’re pissed off about it and really scary.

Drowning,

It’s all good. Had a feeling from the time-stamp alcohol might’ve been involved.
- mkfreeberg | 07/02/2012 @ 12:26

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