House of Eratosthenes

I keep thinking “damn what a lucky dude” every time I catch a glimpse of the radiant Mrs. Brutally Honest. Wonder if I should be mentioning that. Come to think on it, I seem to recall asking myself the same question last year. Somewhere over at his place. When I was commenting.

Well this year, those two plucky kids celebrated their anniversary in a way that’s worth talking about over here.

Wheee. Brings back memories.

Tandem’s an interesting concept. I’ve never done that before, and perhaps I should’ve. My own turn up there was an entirely different setup. The plane was a single-engine, a rickety kind of thing with all the back seats removed. I had the impression the engine was supposed to be muffled by something that was no longer there. The engine was so loud you couldn’t think, and you could feel the vibration coming off it. There were holes in the fuselage and you could see the daylight streaming in. Three of us would crouch down hanging on to something for dear life, decked out in sweaty nylon jumpsuits soaked with someone else’s sweat, boots older than me at the time (26). “Norb,” my long-haired, humorless, motorcycle-gang-lookin’ kinda instructor would be crouched there with us right by the Door of Dread, yelling some last-minute instructions at us at the top of his lungs. What a character was Norb. Norb was about 5’9″, looked kinda like a Sons of Anarchy character except not quite so impeccably groomed. The mannerisms of a drill sergeant, for I expect the same reason; someone screws around, someone gets killed. Every 500 feet of climb, Norb would yell back at us how high we were, while the plane rocked back and forth in ways you wouldn’t expect a plane to do.

At three thousand feet Norb turned to me and said “Alright! Get the fuck out of my plane!”

Here, too, things were ramshackle and spartan. Static-line-yes; tandem, no; reinforced footbar, no. We were to grab onto the wing strut and let the headwind flap our bodies around, like flags. “It’s just air, it easy!” Norb would yell at us. “Just like riding a motorcycle!” Then let go. That would seem to be the tough part, but the thin film of sweat that coated our palms by then, made it simple.

Tandem probably would have been a help here. My instructors always bitched about me not looking up, like you’re supposed to. I really tried, but the impulse to look down is powerful, and some of us are more susceptible to it than others. Once the chute is open — it’s like being knocked into a whole different universe. Dangling by your armpits and your crotch at three thousand feet. Rick says “from the ride up in the plane to the landing in the grass field, it was sensory overload,” and I recall that too. My most vivid recollection? The little dots on the highway that were cars, kinda spread out to the left of me and to the right of me, and all bunched up dead ahead. They were slowing down to look at our canopies. Second-most-vivid? The cows. They were little dots, too. They made an impression on me because that was my tip-off about how great a distance three thousand feet really is. “Holy shit, those little tiny dots are cows,” I thought.

Fear? No, not really. I had a parachute on. Hand-packed by Norb himself. Norb of the massive, unwashed hair and the eyes pinked-out with whatever the hell he was drinking the night before. Or were they naturally that way? I don’t care, I survived.

No footage at all from my event, and perhaps it’s tasteless for me to go into such detail about it in someone else’s limelight. Adrenaline Junkie Rick has many more videos on his YouTube account.

Congratulations on making it through, Mr. and Mrs. Hope the anniversaries ahead are happy and many, and welcome to the club.

“I keep thinking “damn what a lucky dude” every time I catch a glimpse of the radiant Mrs. Brutally Honest. Wonder if I should be mentioning that. ”

I was thinking the same thing Morgan and I didn’t know how to say it so I didn’t.
- tim | 06/18/2009 @ 09:37
Virginia to California…that’s a long way to ride just to punch someone’s nose.
- mkfreeberg | 06/18/2009 @ 09:46
My take on that is, yer hands off and compliment all you want (within the boundaries of taste). Please, as a matter of fact, when it comes to my wife.

We all like to know someone finds us even somewhat attractive — someone who isn’t contracted to tow the party line. Besides, it helps her to believe it more when I say it.

I compliment women I find attractive to get my feelings on the subject out in the open AND to make her feel good about herself. And I never say anything I don’t mean on the subject.

That all being said …

Rick is a lucky guy!

My own wife did the jump last fall. I didn’t jump with her. Partially because I didn’t want to spend the extra $250 … and partially because … you know, the perfectly good airplane thing.

Yeah. I know. This establishes a link between the public and sort-of-anonymous blog. But nobody reads this blog anyway. Right? 😉
- philmon | 06/18/2009 @ 09:59
“within the boundaries of taste”

That’s where it gets tricky, it’s so subjective and everyone has there own boundaries.

I err on the side of caution, it’s better to say nothing than open one’s mouth and taste the ole foot.

“You look nice” is usual safe, boring but safe. “Man, your a lucky man”, ah…yea, not something I might like to hear, although it may depend how it’s said and more importantly WHO says it.

The written word can be misinterpreted also, that you have to keep in mind too.

OhKay, dead horse is pummeled.
- tim | 06/18/2009 @ 11:44
You know what’s tragic? What’ll make you wonder if we’re living in the End Times (or let’s say, Fall of the Roman Empire for you secular types)…

The people who say, there’s nothing but a bunch of phony outrage over David Letterman’s A-Rod and Willow Palin joke. Gov. Palin and her husband should be ashamed of themselves for being so thin-skinned about it. Bunch of damned Yukon crybabies.

And then at the same time, Morgan stepped over some “blogger line” by noticing one of his best blogger buds has a pretty wife and saying something nice about it. You know they’re out there.
- mkfreeberg | 06/18/2009 @ 12:07
No. Morgan stepped over no blogger line.

At least not normal bloggers. They Who Live To Be Offended On Behalf Of Others …. maybe. But we don’t care about those people unless they get into power.

Wait…

Crap.
- philmon | 06/18/2009 @ 12:11
…and I can’t help but think Rick is reading this, I mean he reads your blog, certainly he read this post and maybe the comments…but he never comments himself… and he’s just sitting there…smiling…aint ya’ Rick?
- tim | 06/18/2009 @ 15:11
No offense here fellers… hell, she’s a trophy wife… with a brain… and I’m better for it…

Hope like hell you guys checked out her video… she had a blast… and as I said at my place, the woman is fearless… unlike yours truly who, for moments, was wondering what the hell I was doing…
- Ricksteroni | 06/18/2009 @ 21:49

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Rick’s Anniversary Skydiving AdventureThursday, June 18th, 2009

Rick’s Anniversary Skydiving Adventure
Thursday, June 18th, 2009