House of Eratosthenes

Edward Coleman was a seventeenth-century politician who was hanged, drawn and quartered over the centuries-long quibbling in England between catholics and protestants. He was among the first of probably about fifteen men who were executed because of the perjurious testimony of Titus Oates.

We, in America, are better than England in this way. Well, no, we really aren’t; we’re just supposed to be. But on this test of the American experiment, we have failed. What we call “the law” is based on findings of fact, and on politics. Politics are based on human passion; human passion is anathema to findings of fact.

Why do I say the American experiment has failed to overcome this connection? Because of the ravings of the looney elitist Shirley Lasseter, Deputy Mayor of Duluth, GA. Observing the first anniversary of Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks’ little fiasco, Lasseter had this to say:

“I hate that we�re synonymous with the Runaway Bride, but I think the experience the townspeople went through as well as our staff is certainly something we�ll never forget,” Lasseter said.

“I think it�s behind everybody. The seriousness has left us all and at least we�re not left with anger. People have found humor.”

Yeah Shirley, you can’t have much more of a thigh-slapper than made-up stories of kidnapping and rape.

Persons matching the description of suspects who never existed, I wonder if they have found the humor of which you speak. Whether they were inconvenienced in the ensuing confusion, or not. I wonder if the cops in Georgia and New Mexico are having a good-natured chuckle over the water cooler about this little goose chase they went on a year ago. How about the real rape victims those cops have dealt with in the last year, knowing they should take the crime seriously, but in cases where the evidence is lacking — perhaps unable to attend to it without a teeny, tiny bit of hesitation?

Maybe the victims of real kidnapping and rape, have gotten a couple of yuks out of it.

I’m a victim of False Consensus Effect, or else this mayor is tone-deaf. I think she’s tone-deaf. It is part of the innate goodness of people, that among the times they are unable to separate their passionate emotions from political will, are the times they recognize they have been hoodwinked. In the world of rational, cool-headed logic, from which we like to fool ourselves into thinking our laws are produced, two wrongs don’t make a right. But in the realm of human emotion, they do. We were angry at the black guy who kidnapped Susan Smith’s two young sons, just as we were angry at the couple who abducted Wilbanks. When we learned that none of these culprits really existed, we were angry at the liars Smith and Wilbanks.

It’s a poorly-advised thing to fashion laws and/or sentences from anger. But give the people credit for the source of this anger. What gets people agitated, is the thing that could have happened. One or several innocent persons could have been drawn and quartered, over a lie, in the name of all among the public whose emotions were tugged previous to the lie being uncovered. Seldom is raw anger inspired by such good qualities in people: the realization that danger is imminent or has been imminent, the sense of fair play, the sense of responsibility, and the recognition of a traitor to the cause of justice in the public’s midst.

Wilbanks, the inspiration for all this “humor,” is still paying restitution for the costs associated with her search. Susan Smith will be eligible for parole in 2025.

Whatever happened to Titus Oates? He was sentenced to a recurring, ritual punishment involving the pillory and cat o’nine tails. His sentence was the inspiration for the prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment in the English Bill of Rights during the Glorious Revolution of 1688, which is the precursor to our Eighth Amendment.

Some on our Supreme Court think that this amendment is a blank check for them to stamp out the death penalty, one bite-sized chunk at a time as “evolving sensibilities” allow them to take those bites. That’s not what the Eighth Amendment is. It is a requirement that people be punished according to the logical conclusions and preponderances of evidence captured by the law, not according to the exigencies of human passion represented in that law.

Because in the final analysis, Titus Oates suffered the same fate he placed upon the unfortunate head of Edward Coleman and dozens of other innocent men. Catholic blood-lust repaid protestant blood-lust. It will always be that way, so long as the law is fashioned from anger: An eye for an eye, ’til the whole world goes blind. That’s not justice.

It isn’t a laughing matter, either.

I’m glad Wilbanks was spared from everybody’s anger. But I’m also glad she was not spared from the administration of justice. People who do what she did, pose an ongoing, neverending threat that justice will someday be brought to an end. And when that happens, we’ll all be a bunch of Edward Colemans, some of us with a date for being hung, others of us just waiting for our time.

My comments upon Jennifer Wilbanks beginning her community service, August 9, 2005.

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Requiem For ColemanWednesday, April 26th, 2006

Requiem For Coleman
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006