House of Eratosthenes

Something is odd about President Obama. I don’t mean the usual silly political stuff that he’s a crypto-socialist. I mean he is somehow different from any other politician. I think I began to notice something was a little off when he first started campaigning to be president — but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. It was just odd to have everyone so excited about him and no one was sure why. Then there are all the weird mistakes and goofs he’s made, which only seem to keep multiplying since he’s become president. On one side you have people trying to blow those mistakes up to show what a liberal politician he is. On the other side you have people defending all his actions. I think both sides are getting fooled here.

I finally had an epiphany when Obama, reacting to the public outcry on runaway spending, ordered that $100 million in cuts be made from the budget. The $4 trillion budget. With a projected deficit of $1.8 trillion. That’s like suddenly gaining a thousand pounds and trying to offset the weight by trimming one fingernail. If Obama’s people can find $100 million to cut every year, they’ll have the budget balanced in the year 20,009 AD, by which time the human race will probably have flown to distant galaxies in an attempt to escape the massive debt that has consumed their home planet.

So why would Obama propose something so pathetically silly? I haven’t heard anyone defend this one, but the usual explanation that he’s politically tone deaf doesn’t quite cover it. This is beyond tone deaf. There is, in fact, only one rational explanation for it: it’s a joke.

There’s a conspiracy theory out there that because Obama hasn’t released his real birth certificate, that proves he isn’t a natural citizen and is thus not eligible to be president. I was dismissive of that, but now I think it’s true. If we found his real birth certificate, my guess is that it would say that he was born in England and that his name is Sacha Baron Cohen.

That’s right; we elected Borat president.

Borat?

Hmmm…yes, it does make sense, and it seems to make more and more sense the more I think about it. It’s a toss-up between Borat, and Chauncey Gardner from Being There. “Arugula.” “Omigawd!! How incredibly profound!!” “Can’t I just eat my waffle?” “He’s a Lightworker!!”

The idea that Obama’s more-or-less making it up as He goes along, involves far less speculation at this point. It’s all-but-proven. The idea that the whole thing is a joke…well…suffice it to say, at this point I’d like to see someone provide some firm evidence that it isn’t. It would be reassuring.

Image shamelessly swiped from Gerard Van der Leun at American Digest.

Oh if only it was a joke…Carl Rove is freakin’ genius.
- tim | 04/24/2009 @ 12:45
I am sure Frank J. compiles a convincing argument, but I thought the proposal to shave millions while wasting billions was more like the movie “Dave.”

We all know Obama & Co. are fond of DVD’s – perhaps Michelle rented that movie thinking: “Hey, this guy backed into becoming the president, too. Had no clue what he was doing, but he made the most of it. Better watch it again and see if anything makes sense. Hey, this guy decides to publicly embarass his Cabinet into making “deep” cuts, too. I remember that movie being pretty popular when it came out, too. Hey honey, k’mere and watch this – in this movie the people of the country fall in love with the president again- we need that right about now, too.”

I am reminded of many situations in life where there is a bid and an ask; the bid starts the determination of value, the ask refines the determination; more bids and asks, and the result is either sale or no sale. The problem with the above is that there are many more results: no sale with extreme prejudice, and no sale with the upset party refusing to ever bid/ask again. Obama’s first bid are you stupid enough to vote for a guy with no business being the president, answer was yes. Later bid: since you were dumb enough to vote for me, would you swallow a superficial “spending restraint” while I waste billions elsewhere. Ask: no sale, and I will start to campaign for a fiscal conservative right now. Obama believes that the bid is either sale or no sale, and he is wrong.
- wch | 04/27/2009 @ 12:05
I am reminded of many situations in life where there is a bid and an ask…

Oh, you nailed it. What an awesome observation.

I disagree that there is “no sale” taking place this time ’round, though. Yes, we do have these graphics helping to illustrate how silly Obama’s proposal is (like this, for example); but right now and for the immediately foreseeable future, The Yang possess the loudest voice. So these boring ol’ math equations don’t count next to feelings-feelings-feelings and vibes-vibes-vibes. This is true of any organizational community in a state of decline.

Nevertheless, I think I’ve formed a pretty solid understanding of the personality of Obama, and more importantly, of His fans. This character template cannot distinguish between triumph in a battle and victory in the larger-scale war. They think some kind of “god” is on their side, and every time sabers clash, they’re destined to stand atop the bloody remains of one more vanquished foe, beating their chests in one more victory. On some level, they must comprehend their ultimate defeat is a marginal possibility at least, and perhaps even something approaching “probable” — otherwise, why the continued necessity of circulating talking points regarding the inherent Republicans awfulness, with last years’ election well decided.

But the probability of their ultimate defeat…this is a dirty little secret, no one discusses out loud, although with a little bit of thought everyone comprehends it is true…is one. It is a when, and not an if. In fact, that’s the only reason we feel the need here to berate it so much: How soon is it going to happen? The country will be much better off if it happens sooner, than later. But it has to happen at some point because of your “bid/ask” scenario. The Obamatons are psychologically incapable of contemplating, let alone acting upon, the idea of “Hey that’s a good string of wins there, let’s take our chips and go home.” They just can’t do it. There has to be another bid, each one bigger and bolder than the last one. Clinton did it just before he got his ass whipped in the ’94 elections. Carter did it too (although not intentionally). People were requested to chow down a bigger and bigger poop sandwich, and it was an absolute certainty that the next sandwich would be even bigger, stinkier, tougher and drier; no liquid refreshments offered at any price.

Clinton got re-elected by pretending to be a Republican. You know, I’m not entirely sure that option is available to The Enlightened One. I’ve not seen a shred of evidence that He possesses the necessary humility to backtrack on such fundamental philosophical concepts. Throw Jeremiah Wright under the bus, yeah; but pretend to be a Republican? Shrink down His “bids”? Time will tell.
- mkfreeberg | 04/27/2009 @ 12:56

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President BoratFriday, April 24th, 2009

President Borat
Friday, April 24th, 2009