House of Eratosthenes

HotAir holds a vote, and the outcome is not even close. Scolding the Supreme Court during a State of the Union (and getting the details wrong) made the final round, as did “I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.”

But in the end, it was the beginning of Bill Clinton’s third term that was the clear winner.

Good job Barry Soetoro. Made three people look extremely foolish in one shot: Yourself, Bill Clinton and Michelle Obama. All three of you look like what you really are. And you look like cynical manipulators with glaring and glowing, almost debilitating, narcissistic streaks, who don’t give a rip about what policies are being enacted or what their ultimate effect might be. We’re “in good hands”? Don’t think so. But I’m glad the OOTY vote came out the way it did.

I’m also pleased that a can of whoopass was finally opened on the whole Dagwood/Blondie klutzy-husband thing. It’s long overdue. It was cute, once, this thing about “at the end of the day my sweetie tells me to jump and I say ‘how high?’.” But if you have so much as a speck of sanity left to you, it isn’t going to make sense to envision the First Lady ripping the current President a new asshole because she was kept waiting while a press conference was going on. That’s taking it way too far. She’d really do that? If that’s the case, we need to find a way to impeach the First Lady.

I think. Sane people think.

But of course…there are people out there who disagree. They say “As long as she’s henpecking him or humiliating him, the very thought of it makes my nipples stick out like pencil erasers, I’ll drink poison if you want me to, and buy tons and tons of whatever shit you’re selling.” Or, at least, there is market research saying they exist, and spend money, and their numbers are important.

I just think, at a certain point, it’s time you/we all grow up. Let the First Lady wait.

One of many reasons why, if I were voting in this, I would’ve sided with the majority here. They made the right choice. There are other reasons too…

Ye gods how I love that clip. It shows everything that’s wrong with liberalism in just under seven minutes.

The preening narcissism. The cult of personality (“help me Obi Wan Clintoni, you’re my only hope!”). The idea that the medium is the message (it has to be a great policy; Bill Clinton is pitching it!). The utter submission of a “man” — the Most Powerful Man in the World, even — to his henpecking shrew of a spouse. The poodle media’s fawning complicity in the farce (I know we’ve been repeating this in re: pretty much anything Dear Leader has said or done over the last few years, but can you imagine their reaction if George Bush had done any of this? Maureen Dowd would have an aneurysm). The confusion of yak, yak, and more yak for any semblance of substance (does anyone even remember what steaming pile of dogturd “policy” Slick Willie was pimping?).

Etc. etc. etc. — I could go on for days. We should show this clip to pre-teen boys as aversion therapy — if everything about it doesn’t make your skin crawl we’ll make you do two-a-days in the summer heat with Sowell and Hayek and The Federalist Papers until it does.
- Severian | 01/01/2011 @ 13:27
Exactly, Sev. Except you left out the biggie: The mission, stem-to-stern, is to oppose masculinity. Ostracize it, scold it, screech at it, minimize it, gutterball it, marginalize it, henpeck it, excoriate it, vivisect it, eviscerate it — and when it all runs its course and you’re left with the seven minutes you see here, what happens? Everybody who has anything to say that’s worth saying, or listening to, or jotting down, is a dude. In fact if you eliminate Barry, and why in blazes would you not, it’s a white man. A white man who is oozing manliness…at least, manliness the way progressives see it, the “warts and all” kind of manliness that is not necessarily good, just constantly oozing the the slimy essence of manliness (I mean this in a figurative way, thank goodness). The diplomatic strategy of Picard coupled-up with the promiscuity of Kirk.

That, plus that glorious list of pustulence you just rattled off. The whole rancid, festering stewpot of stuff. We need to come up with a name for it. Make it look unappealing, the way progressives have successfully made “the cowboy mentality” look unappealing. Surely it would be easier, would it not?

“Sarah Palin is simply unqualified” “–Oh! So, you must be in favor of [insert new name here] huh?” “Uh, er, no, no that’s not what I meant at all…”
- mkfreeberg | 01/01/2011 @ 13:40
I’m with you, except… I don’t know how we could possibly make something sound less appealing than the reality already is, and they love the reality.

I look at Bill Clinton and see the creepy guy who’s far too old to be hanging out in the college bar. The middle-aged man in the souped-up Camaro who cruises by high schools after class with the top down. The used car salesman with laser-bleached teeth and a permanent orange tan-in-a-can. The guy who you just know has a $200-a-month porn habit and sites bookmarked for fetishes you’ve never even heard of. The dude who hangs around the “female interest” section of Barnes and Noble with a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves in the hopes of scoring some sophomore with an identity crisis. Etc., etc. If I’d done one-tenth of the stuff Bill Clinton provably did — to say nothing of the stuff he was accused of — I’d have to change my name and move to Albania.

But they love him. When Nina Burleigh said she’d happily give him oral pleasure for keeping abortion legal, she wasn’t kidding — if anything she was downplaying it, as I’m certain that she, and every other female member of the Washington press corps, would quite happily have put out for Bill for free.

And that’s the real trick right there. We have to make leftism less… gulp… sexy. And yeah, I threw up in my mouth typing that, but we’re conservatives here, and must face facts: for some rather large portion of our fellow citizens, the ideal man is Bill freaking Clinton. And since the sexual market underlies all other markets, “men” (in the strictest biological sense) will continue to ape Bill Clinton, because they think it’ll get them laid. I myself am a sad example — as a liberal arts major in college I was surrounded by the type of girl that got moist for Slick Willie, and thus I spent four years being a whiny liberal emo-douche.

As for how to actually do this… beats my pair of jacks. I suppose we’d have to start by pointing out that the people who love Clinton most are, to put it charitably, either pencil-necked dweebs or look like the south end of a northbound mule or (typically) both. In other words, we need to show young males on the cusp of adolescence that, yeah, getting your panties in a twist about socialized health care might get you laid, but it’ll get you laid with the type of girl who gets her panties in a twist about socialized heath care. Ask them: are you willing to neuter yourself permanently for five minutes of tepid ho-hum coitus with the junior varsity version of Andrea Dworkin?

Sadly, many will say “yes”…. at least the first time (guilty as charged). But after that…
- Severian | 01/01/2011 @ 14:15
And yeah, I threw up in my mouth typing that, but we’re conservatives here, and must face facts: for some rather large portion of our fellow citizens, the ideal man is Bill freaking Clinton.

Still, I can’t help but think victory is just one clever maneuver away — much less a day’s or week’s journey, than a simple flick of the wrist. How many of them are willing to say out loud word for word “My ideal man is Bill freaking Clinton, that’s the dude I’m trying to be.”

…are you willing to neuter yourself permanently for five minutes of tepid ho-hum coitus with the junior varsity version of Andrea Dworkin?

They don’t see the permanence. They don’t see the dick being lopped off & thrown in the blender. “They’re all Lorena Bobbitt” is the message that needs to get out.
- mkfreeberg | 01/01/2011 @ 14:28

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent

Items of Interest

Monthly Archives

What They Say

Links

Obamateurism of the Year AwardSaturday, January 1st, 2011

Obamateurism of the Year Award
Saturday, January 1st, 2011