House of Eratosthenes

Had a friend ask me how things were going, which is a little awkward because 1) he’s a big ol Obamamaniac who’d just got done crowing about his idol, not too much, but a little bit of counter-teasing was obligatory; 2) he’s a little on the sensitive side, has been known to take offense at innocuous things — I often get the feeling he takes strategic offense at things, hoping to gain advantages by being offended that he otherwise could not…and 3) things are actually going fairly shitty.

So I gave him the obligatory beat-down. Then I stripped everything from his copy that I don’t have the balls to send to him…and stripped everything from the blog copy that I don’t have the balls to post in the blog. But the final product was good enough for both purposes, so into the archives it goes.

You know, it occurs to me that Barack and I are complete opposites in every way.

I’m white. I don’t think that should make a difference at all. I think it would be worth trying, to just treat the races exactly the same, and see what happens.

He’s half-black. His identity, that he prefers, seems to be that of a black guy. He seems to think it makes a huge difference, and that it should make an even bigger difference. In everything.

I have a middle name that is associated with murdering people, so I usually abbreviate it to the letter K.

Barack Obama has a middle name that is associated with murdering people, so he bullies and intimidates people into maintaining a virtual secret that he has one.

I deliver steak.

Obama delivers sizzle.

He’s a lot of fun to watch. People faint when they listen to him.

I’m not fun to watch. I can’t make anyone faint.

Obama believes in the global warming boogeyman, but he flies in jet planes.

I think global warming is a scam. I drive a car that gets 43 miles a gallon on the highway, when I’m not walking or riding my bike.

Obama can’t really do anything. If he does do something, he’ll pretty much emulate whatever “everybody” does when they do it. He will labor toward an outcome that will be pleasing only to an elite, extremist few. But he’ll choose the most ordinary way to do it. Even his most ardent supporters would never dream of maintaining that Obama deserves some kind of trademark on the way he’s doing it…and that seems to be the point. He’s one of these extraordinarily ordinary guys.

I can do things. When people ask me to do things, they’re usually things others have tried to do, and haven’t been able to do…and I deliver, because I come up with a way to do it that is different from all the other ways that have been tried, and have failed. And my results are pleasing to everybody, save for those who had practical reasons for wanting me to fail. When I’m called upon to do things exactly the way someone else would do them, I’m a pretty consistent disappointment.

I have always “fallen” into jobs by accident. Once I have those jobs, people don’t want me to leave.

People who want Obama to get the job he’s about to get, are very deliberate about it. You can tell this because they say things like “I want to be part of this.” To predict how much we’ll be wanting him to hang around once he’s got that job, I guess we should review history and look at…President Jimmy Carter. Gyah. Poor bastard will be lucky not to be tarred and feathered.

I invest a lot of personal pride — and shame — in the results of a project when I’m in charge of it. I feel a little bit awkward when people thank me just for doing my job, especially if it’s the emotional, jubilant kind of thank you for preventing some huge disaster…which seems to be the kind I usually get.

Obama talks a lot about plans that have been tried before, that have never worked out very well for anybody. He doesn’t seem to take much pride in anything, save for how happy people are and how loudly they cheer when he tells them things. And when that happens, he doesn’t behave awkwardly at all. He behaves almost as if it’s his entire reason for existing.

My head is crammed full of trivia that people find somewhat interesting, when & if they’re exceptionally bored. I can recite all the Chief Justices of the Supreme Court, all the Presidents, as well as the years they served and the issues of the day with which their administrations had to wrestle. And Henry VIII’s family history, through the Houses of York and Lancaster, with dates of birth, marriage and death, from heart.

Barack Obama thinks there are 57 states.

When I tell people things, their faces show an expression that is one of bewilderment and confusion. Their confusion confuses me, because I answered the question they asked, exactly as they asked it.

When Barack Obama tells people things, they faint out of exuberance and excitement, even though he didn’t say anything of substance at all.

We both have ears that stick way out from the sides of our heads, like bookshelves. Somehow, his make him look more charismatic. Mine just look dopey.

I’m put in charge of things that require structure, disassembly, re-assembly. I’m a little Spock-like in the way I work. Feelings don’t have much to do with it.

Obama is put in charge of things that require more love and less hate. Tearing things apart and putting them back together doesn’t seem to have a lot to do with it.

Obama goes to church. I don’t. He hates people…or at least his friend does…and his other friend…and his other friend…and his wife. I don’t.

I can wear a flag pin. I guess Obama must have some friends who would get upset with him if he did that.

VERY well said. And I noticed yet another similarity between us, Morgan. I “fell” into each and every job I held in my post-USAF career. And people didn’t want me to leave either. Interesting, that.
- Buck | 06/05/2008 @ 16:04
Ah, my friend did take offense after all. I made sure not to poke fun in Obamameister in any way in which my friend hasn’t been known to ridicule our current President. I guess a lot of this stuff is a one way street.

How did Larry Elder put it…Conservatives consider liberals well-intentioned, but misguided. Liberals consider conservatives not only wrong, but really, really bad people. The response I got back was loaded with acrimony. Well, I don’t think I made any new acrimony, I think I exposed to the light of day a bunch of acrimony that was already there. That’s always helpful; just doesn’t always feel like it.
- mkfreeberg | 06/05/2008 @ 21:33

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent

Items of Interest

Monthly Archives

What They Say

Links

Obama/Freeberg Study in ContrastsThursday, June 5th, 2008

Obama/Freeberg Study in Contrasts
Thursday, June 5th, 2008