Alarming News: I like Morgan Freeberg. A lot.
American Digest: And I like this from "The Blog That Nobody Reads", because it is -- mostly -- about me. What can I say? I'm on an ego trip today. It won't last.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: We were following a trackback and thinking "hmmm... this is a bloody excellent post!", and then we realized that it was just part III of, well, three...Damn. I wish I'd written those.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: ...I just remembered that I found a new blog a short while ago, House of Eratosthenes, that I really like. I like his common sense approach and his curiosity when it comes to why people believe what they believe rather than just what they believe.
Brutally Honest: Morgan Freeberg is brilliant.
Dr. Melissa Clouthier: Morgan Freeberg at House of Eratosthenes (pftthats a mouthful) honors big boned women in skimpy clothing. The picture there is priceless--keep scrolling down.
Exile in Portales: Via Gerard: Morgan Freeberg, a guy with a lot to say. And he speaks The Truth...and it's fascinating stuff. Worth a read, or three. Or six.
Just Muttering: Two nice pieces at House of Eratosthenes, one about a perhaps unintended effect of the Enron mess, and one on the Gore-y environ-movie.
Mein Blogovault: Make "the Blog that No One Reads" one of your daily reads.
The Virginian: I know this post will offend some people, but the author makes some good points.
Poetic Justice: Cletus! Ah gots a laiv one fer yew...
I can never get over it. It’s amazing, how much nothing is packed into one state. If Nevada was something besides a nothing when the white man first discovered it, you’d have to count it among the top human achievements importing all that nothing. Or manufacturing that much nothing. Whatever…it is a truly mind-blowing quantity of nothing out there.
“Kidzmom” tells me it’s up to me to do the driving during the child pick-up or drop-off, and the first thing I do is run down and get a CD audiobook. Amazon used to be the perfect solution, but lately they’ve started taking two weeks to ship what used to take two days. So I’ve had to get creative. When I was contracted to IBM, first time I moved to this area some twenty years ago, there was this awesome truck stop, crammed full of everything a truck driver could ever need or want. It’s still there. I picked up a work of fiction there, which is kind of really creepy, and then my fiancee burned me a copy of Mark Steyn’s America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It. Requirement met.
I picked up the boy, last weekend, in time for spring break, by myself. This weekend we dropped him off, as a threesome. Me, girlfriend, kid. We stayed in Reno Saturday night, swapped him yesterday at noon in Battle Mountain, and crashed last night in Incline Village. What a blast. Big-ass lobster feast, followed by…well…frankly, Incline Village is afraid of being discovered, so I can’t reveal details. But we limped back home this morning, with a fresh box of beer, I just got done soaking my old ass in a hot bath with a couple bottles of cold suds, during which time I used a brand new Quattro to scrape the March whiskers off my throat. D-i-s-g-u-s-t-i-n-g.
Belly full of beer and shellfish. A newly discovered vacation spot. And my kid knows how to drive a go kart as fast as it can go, fire a .22 rifle, and help his old man with his taxes.
Reminds me of the perfect day.
7:30
Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.9:00
Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.10:00
Have sex with two
18 year old nymphomaniacs.11:00
Massage and Jacuzzi.11:45 Go to bed.
11:46
One last blowjob11:59
Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.12:00
Laugh yourself to sleep
It was kinda close to that, with some details missing. After we dropped off the kid, that is.
Well, I look at it like — I’d trade it all just to see the kid show some signs of being more manly and capable. And I didn’t have to trade; I got both. A highly successful spring break.
I’m still not sure what to make of the spring break tradition. In my day, this was something you could maybe think about during your senior year of high school. Possibly, maybe, junior. But only if you were one of the “cool” kids with the rich parents. And then something happened. Fast forward to today…from what I know about it, nowadays if you’re fifth grade or higher you get an automatic “spring break.” We-ell — my initial inclination is to disapprove, and my better judgment tells me that’s the right call. But I’ve procreated and failed to make a go of things with the female-incubation unit, who is now with my spawn in another state. So with things the way they are, I’m not sure what we’d do without it.
Is society starting up a whole bunch of new traditions in an attempt to adapt to single-parenthood? Or maybe, just one? I suppose I shall have to leave that to the philosophers.
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I see you have not yet learned the truth lurking in the midst of all marital relations, “With every fart, or mention thereof, a blowjob loses its wings.”
- vanderleun | 04/09/2012 @ 15:20You know of course that if a woman keeps a child of yours in Battle Mountain Nevada that such is grounds for divorce.
- vanderleun | 04/09/2012 @ 15:22I mean that’s like more than eight hours each way.
- vanderleun | 04/09/2012 @ 15:23BM was a compromise. Her home turf is in Elko. My ultimatum was, you can have curbside drop-off/pick-up service this weekend, but not that one…tiny, tiny victories wherever you can manage to take them. Good enough? Well, we arrived in Incline about five o’clock yesterday, if we didn’t do any negotiating it would have been six or seven o’clock. Gotta do what ya can, when ya can.
- mkfreeberg | 04/09/2012 @ 15:27Oh all right!
- vanderleun | 04/09/2012 @ 15:33That’s about as good as it gets for a divorced father, and MUCH better than I get.
I was wonderin’ if there really was such a thang as “1789 Augler Cognac,” so I googled it. All I got was several thousand links to this joke and a Courvoisier ad.
- bpenni | 04/10/2012 @ 07:25