House of Eratosthenes

Next up on the list of things feminists would like help hating…is a catalogue entry for these cool irons you can have customized so they brand your own name into things. The idea is that when & if you’re extra-extra proud of this steak you barbequed, you can “sign” it.

I think it’s a pretty cool idea. Only thing is, I’d value it at about…$14.95. They want five times that, so that’s gonna be a no. And that’s the way things will stay, I’m afraid. After I make my first billion, the price I put on this kind of ego trip is still in the low teens.

Feminists are almost just as candid about their feelings. They don’t like ’em. At least I think that’s what the message is.

I generally love RedEnvelope for their nice gifts (though a bit overpriced), yet this made me laugh out loud. Of course the picture of their monogrammed branders (of your monogrammed choosing) has to be of “son” and “dad.” Because there’s nothing manlier than doing some grillin’ some steak and branding your manliness into the meat.

I’m presuming “laugh out loud” has pejorative intent. It’s the “yet” that so inclines me.

Here’s the part I can’t quite make out: Why does this make the feminist “help me deplore this” list? I know it’s about as exclusive a club as your phone book’s white pages. I find that question intriguing, because I don’t think the feminists themselves understand the answer to it.

Let’s see…

We have — eating meat. Feminists are at odds with that. I’ve been wondering why that is, for decades now, and if I haven’t figured it out by now I’m not going to figure it out today. Meat makes people strong. Women are people. Feminists want women to be strong, yet meat ends up on the “Hate” list.

Grilling. Grilling is a manly thing. Feminists don’t like manly things. Okay, that’s a little bit easier to see, although it contradicts the talking points put out by the feminist P.R. machine…which say, they love men as much as anyone else, and if you don’t get in the way of female empowerment then they have no “beef” (har!) with you. Well, I think anyone who’s watched ’em for a minute or two knows that’s a load of bullshit. So if you end up in an argument with a feminist over whether the movement is all about man-bashing or not, I guess this is something to chew on (snicker).

What interests me is the signing, and the pride in workmanship that it represents. I believe, if you were to subject the enraged feminists to an afternoon of deep psychiatric probing — eww — you’d eventually find out this is a primary bone of contention. Feminism has a whole buffet of antithetical relationships to simple but important things, antithetical relationships to which feminist advocates will avoid confessing. It is at odds with all kinds of beneficial human activities and situations, and spends so much energy trying to pretend not to be at odds with them. One of those essential elements is individualism. Which means work, achievement, and pride taken in it.

Feminism is hostile to that.

Feminism doesn’t want people to think of it as being hostile to that.

But it is.

We-ell…whether it’s the taking pride in the work you’ve been doing, eating meat, grilling, or doing silly man-stuff that doesn’t make too much sense…you have to admit. A feminist movement that is truly confined to opposing oppression against women, or promoting the dignity of women in a civilized society, wouldn’t give even a passing thought to this. I realize this is more of an elbow-in-the-ribs to the like-minded (bitter) girls in the neo-feminist movement, than any kind of call for storming a male mysoginist fortress with pitchforks and torches. But the point stands — that this item interests the people who call themselves feminists, even in a humorous way, interests me. It is a window into their dark souls. Condemning the monogrammed branders, or even chuckling derisively at them, has nothing at all to do with any kind of human-rights movement. Not unless they’re being used on human flesh, which doesn’t seem to be the case here.

It’s just another overpriced rich-person’s silly toy. One of thousands. Get over it.

And that’s your latest specimen of scope creep in the man-bashing feminist movement. You haven’t too much longer to wait for the next one.

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Monogrammed BrandersSunday, December 7th, 2008

Monogrammed Branders
Sunday, December 7th, 2008