House of Eratosthenes

I saw a tee shirt design a few weeks ago that had a picture of an outhouse on it. The caption was “Be back in five, I have to go take an Obama.” This, to my thinking, is disrespectful and unacceptable. But it does raise an interesting point about that name. It is so unique, that in a few years it is bound to possess an abundance of meanings it does not have now.

So seriously — what will it mean throughout the years?

I decided to scribble down some ideas. Ideas, upon which, I would presumably be willing to bet some real money. The timeframe of each usage, as is the case with all slang words, will have a morphing effect on it. Over and over and over again, I’m thinking.

So here are my ideas. Obama (n.)…means…

2009. The name of the One True Savior who will rescue us from our economic malaise. He’d better, anyway. Or oh boy, are we ever screwed!
2010. Some guy who keeps apologizing for America’s historical misdeeds, even when they are grossly off-topic.
2012. Synonym for “Carter.”
2016. Anyone in possession of a sales ability that is so remarkable and overpowering, they easily can sell pure crap to the most skeptical buyer.
2024. A product that is so incredibly substandard and pure in its crappiness, that only an “Obama” can sell it.
A generation from now: A social phenomenon in which people get so wrapped up in the “charisma” or whatever of a movement’s leader, that they forget all about policies.
Two generations from now: Extreme danger that rises up to confront a nation or culture as a direct result of electing such a charismatic leader.
Three generations from now: Journalists’ term: The childlike euphoria which captures the media’s attention as such a charismatic leader becomes more widely known.
A century from now: Financial professionals’ term: A nosedive on the stock market caused by the reckless and ignorant remarks of a nation’s leaders.
In the next cultural eon:
• Pilots’ term for the panic that results from aircraft flying low over crowded metropolitan areas.
• The apology issued by a nation or its leaders in order to get foreign countries to like it better, or to stop hating it.
• The extreme futility associated with such an apology.
• The point in time when an advanced civilization “jumps the shark” and begins an irreversible descent of perpetual apology-for-self.
• Any effort which is presented as creative, which is, in reality, a process of destruction.

As a verb:
• To select a candidate with dark skin, as a representative of some historically ineffectual, damaging or undefined policy ideas. The strategy is that if & when anyone points out the inherent weaknesses of what is about to be done, you just call ’em a racist and be done with it. Everyone knows this is a stupid idea. They’ll never go for it unless we Obama it. It’s the only way.
• To bullshit people with careful delivery, cheerful tone and a calm, steady demeanor. You’ve got the most gullible professor on the entire campus. If you’re late with your work just Obama your way through, he’ll fall for it every time. Or… My grandson swears he doesn’t know anything about the money missing from my purse, but I could swear that little bastard is Obama-ing me.

Cross-posted at Right Wing News.

Hmmm. Interesting thought exercise: substitute “Hoover” and/or “FDR” for Obama. Of course that only works in the “two” and “three generations from now” categories.
- bpenni | 05/11/2009 @ 15:49
It could go the other way of course, much like the falsely attributed “McCarthyism”,

Wasn’t it Tweed of Tammany Hall fame that set the standard for appointment of known criminals and other “persons of interest” in his administration?

Who CURRENTLY holds the record for media cooperation
in pronouncing “Well…that’s different…” in assuming re-framed positions, denounced throughout ante-ballot “count”?

And exactly why IS Franklin honored on the US$100 bill, and not some uncirculated note, like Cleveland?

Inquiring minds want to know!
- CaptDMO | 05/11/2009 @ 20:27
I saw a tee shirt design a few weeks ago that had a picture of an outhouse on it. The caption was “Be back in five, I have to go take an Obama.” This, to my thinking, is disrespectful and unacceptable.

I’m sorry you feel that way, Morgan. When I read the line quoted above, I actually laughed. Very hard. Out loud. Spontaneously. For at least a full minute.

Maybe it’s all the time I spend reading The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler over at http://nicedoggie.net, where the blogger pulls absolutely no punches in his utter disgust for the president. He also lays on the contempt for said president’s supporters, past and present.

I dunno, man. It’s difficult for me not to hate and despise people whom I hold personally responsible for wrecking this country…and to avoid thinking of their beloved Dear Leader as something that I’d drop out of my asshole.
- cylarz | 05/12/2009 @ 02:52
– CaptDMO | May 11, 2009 @ 8:27 pm

I can never seem to make head nor tail of anything you say. Seriously. Every time I read one of your comments, I get that “walked into a theater in the middle of a movie” feeling.
- cylarz | 05/12/2009 @ 02:53
I’m sorry you feel that way, Morgan. When I read the line quoted above, I actually laughed. Very hard. Out loud. Spontaneously. For at least a full minute.

I’m normally skeptical of the whole “You have to have respect for the office” line of argument…but there should be some line drawn, y’know? Equating the current, sitting President with a turd, I don’t think that’s quite proper. We might agree that Warren Harding or John Tyler or Chester Alan Arthur was the worst President ever, but I wouldn’t go along with “Don’t forget to wipe after you take a Tyler.”

Also, I don’t want to get into the whole “If he did it, it must be wrong” — like all of a sudden, I’m obliged to treat pirates like they’re an endangered species now. To me, that’s the way the other side thinks: Don’t evaluate the content of an idea, evaluate instead who came up with it. That’s what makes them kids, and their targets grown-ups.
- mkfreeberg | 05/12/2009 @ 09:49

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How Will Future Generations Define the Word “Obama”?Sunday, May 10th, 2009

How Will Future Generations Define the Word “Obama”?
Sunday, May 10th, 2009