House of Eratosthenes

Elisabeth Hasselbeck tearfully apologized to “Dancing With the Stars” contender Erin Andrews for essentially making light of her stalker when she criticized Andrews’ skimpy dancing outfits on Tuesday’s episode of “The View.” (People.com has the video.)

“In light of what happened . . . and as inexcusable as it was for that horrific guy to go in and try to peep on her in her hotel room . . . I mean, in some way if I [was] him,” Hasselbeck said, “I [would be] like, ‘Man! I just could’ve waited 12 weeks and seen this — a little bit less — without the prison time!’” (The stalker, who released nude footage of Andrews on the Internet, is serving a 30-month sentence.) Yeah, that’s just one step up from the old “She was asking for it!”

Andrews told Access Hollywood that she cried when she heard Hasselbeck’s comments (Andrews’ dancing partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, called Hasselbeck “stupid” and “jealous,” Usmagazine.com reports).

Hasselbeck says she felt terrible about the remark and called Andrews to apologize. She extended another apology on the show.

They both need to apologize to women everywhere, for reinforcing tired stereotypes about females. In fact I think they reinforced every single one, as if working from a checklist. Lessee…there’s the one that they’re all drama whores, constantly seeking attention by showing off their bodies, then getting catty with each other for doing so. Actually, for doing anything at all that manages to capture male attention whether it has to do with showing skin or not. That they are brought up from infancy to apologize for doing things they fully intend to do all over again, even in mid-apology. That they cry at the drop of a hat because they are accustomed to getting out of a tight spot by crying, and they’ve been raised from infancy to do that, as well.

Women Drivers That they live in surreal, otherworldly cloisters filled with plaid and paisley, stylish coffee mugs, vacuum cleaner covers that look like field mice, and layers and layers of pillows and stuffed animals on the bed. That, as a result of this, they are far more concerned with nurturing relationships than with recognizing reality, or responding to it in a consistent, logical, productive way.

In short, between the two of them — in fact, Elisabeth managed to do this all by herself — they managed to hit every single one of the classics except “drives like shit.”

After forty-five years of liberation, how can we finally, FINALLY bring to the fairer sex the respect, dignity and stature in our modern society that they deserve? How do we raise newer generations of females into rich, productive, rewarding lives, in which they can find love and respect, and role-model productively for the ones who will come even later? By forcing companies to put more of them in executive positions even though there may be men who are better qualified? By forcing colleges to recruit more female students into hard sciences, even though there may be male students who are more promising? Nay, I say. The answer is obvious, in fact it is right in front of our eyes: Cancel The View. Cancel it, immediately, along with anything like it. Everything that places female weakness on a pedestal and demonstrates its value in drawing preening, fawning, obsequious attention from the flaccid brains…for the sake of the respect that is due our mothers sisters and daughters…cancel, cancel, cancel. Dig up every single acre, every single wretched weed, pull out every bit of root and sow rock salt deep into the soil.

Let women take their weak, sobbing, bitching whelps someplace dark, private, concealed from the eyes of the public, so they can beat some old-fashioned strength into ’em. That’s what we men do with our wimps, nerds, pussies and dorks and it’s worked well for thousands of years. That is how we learn to cope. I’m told women are even better at picking on their own than we are. Hasselbeck has demonstrated it’s high time this was put to the test.

Stop worshiping indecision, weakness, attention-whoring and jealousy. Pummel it instead. Stigmatize it. Disgrace it. Make it embarrassing. Do to it, precisely what Hasselbeck tried to do, and failed to do, to the skimpy costumes.

Well, which is it? Do you want ’em neked or clothed?

Even when exercising their greatest duplicity women are always sincere because they are yielding to some natural feeling–
Balzac
- jamzw | 05/08/2010 @ 07:49
I’ve already procreated, so my opinion doesn’t matter.

But a woman who knows how to cope, has the same intoxicating effect on a man’s libido that a man with similar assets has on a woman’s.

What everyone is avoiding discussing, is that skimpy clothes on a female who looks good in them and knows she looks good in them, is a sign of strength. That is the real reason Hasselbeck went after her. She’s coming from that “why bother trying” cesspool, that wretched layer of humanity that always has something nasty to say when someone else accomplishes something. Notice how she treated her five-year-old daughter as if the child was some kind of wise, elderly village sage? That’s one of the things they do. Nobody can ever be just plain strong, or capable, or smart — anytime a positive human attribute is acknowledged somewhere there has to be a touch of irony to go with it. It’s required.
- mkfreeberg | 05/08/2010 @ 07:55

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Hasselbeck ApologizesSaturday, May 8th, 2010

Hasselbeck Apologizes
Saturday, May 8th, 2010