House of Eratosthenes

Mayor in her Underwear When I read that people wanted Carmen Kontur-Gronquist fired as the mayor of Arlington, OR because pictures were available of her posing in her underwear, I had to click the story open because I knew she’d look good in her underwear. And I was right.

Flaying and firing fat floozies for flashing flabby flesh, is…well, nobody ever seems to have that idea. We only go after the hotties like Mayor Carmen.

This is one of those truths that always seem to pan out, and everybody understands always will, even though the logic behind it is something nobody can explain. But if there’s a way to lay down some money, you can probably generate a livelihood from this. A picture of a girl in a bathing suit or underwear gets out and people want her head on a plate — you know she’s a cutie. Without seeing a single picture, you can guarantee it.

How come the fat porkers get away with it? The women are afraid of competition that’s a little bit too stiff? The men have fantasies that if a hot woman with a killer career can lose it, she’ll want to have sex with them?

Man, is that ever a logic-bubble I’d like to see popped. People get SO uppity about how “unprofessional” and “inappropriate” it is for women in certain positions to show a little skin…and it sounds like it makes sense. But deep down I think we all know it doesn’t, because the enforcement is inherently unequal. Ugly two-ton Tessies in professional positions, if they ever show some thigh or ass cheek or cleavage, can hang on to those positions just fine and nobody’s going to utter a peep of protest. Quot erat demonstrandum, dude.

Anyway, that’s just food for thought.

On to the subject at hand…

“It was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back,” said Ronnie Miller who is working to have the mayor recalled, if she won’t resign.

At the meeting Miller read a statement on behalf of “concerned citizens” that criticized the city leader’s handling of several issues, like local water rates. It also took dead aim at her MySpace page.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! We hate the way she handles our local water rates…and on top of that…there’s pictures of her in her knickers. I seen ’em!

The story doesn’t even mention (unless I missed it, which I guess is possible) another word about those local water rates. Seems to me to be lacking in detail, especially if it’s being presented here as a genuine concern. I mean, what? They’re too high? Too low? They flex too much?

Inquiring minds want to know! But anyway…back to the silly story…

“The recent actions of our elected mayor are an embarrassment to some of the citizens and portray an image we feel is inappropriate for an elected official. Placing provocative photos on the Internet, using an elected title, are unacceptable,” read the statement.

After listening to critics, the 42-year-old Kontur-Gronquist told them she “had no comment at this time.”

The mayor did not return messages left by ABC News. But in an interview with The East Oregonian newspaper she said she did not think there was anything wrong with her Internet photos.

“That’s my personal life. It has nothing to do with my mayor’s position,” said Kontur-Gronquist.

“I’m not going to change who I am. There’s a lot of officials that have a personal life, and you have people in this community who have nothing better to do than scrape up stuff like this.”

A little bit further down, we seem to be getting to the heart of the matter. And because it’s local in nature, I can’t attest to whether it really makes sense or not…but I can attest to it making more sense than the undie-photo. Although I suppose that’s a matter of opinion.

“This sounds like sour grapes over other issues. If you got it, flaunt it!” declared another reader.

Some suggested it is in fact another issue that is fueling the push for the mayor’s resignation.

The issue is not so much about lingerie, as it is about balls. Golf balls. A golf course to be more precise.

Voters approved funding of a municipal golf course in the last election. But the mayor who reportedly appointed herself “Golf Commissioner” is accused of significantly limiting access to the public course by reducing its hours of operation.

It’s pretty often nowadays for some self-loathing American to bitch and moan about how “sexually repressed” we are because we have a tendency to require ladies to wear both halves of their bathing suits when they swim on public beaches.

That’s kind of silly in the other direction — but there’s a kernel of truth to it, and I think we’re looking at it here. An image of a good looking lady in skimpy clothing, seems to bring out reactions from us that it ought not. Reactions that make so little sense, that no one solitary individual would dare show them. To get ’em, you need a mob.

I’m not a mob. If a woman’s going to show me her entire body, or most of it, I’d much rather she be a good-lookin’ one like Mayor Carmen. Oh, and if you’re ticked about water rates and golf courses, I think maybe you should direct your complaining in that direction. But that’s just me…the mobs say otherwise.

Totally disagree here, man. Does it make a difference that I would uphold the same standard for men and women, and for the attractive and the attraction-challenged? If the current President of the United States were to post pictures of himself in skivvies on his MySpace page, in my opinion it would be a sign of serious impairment of judgment and be a completely valid reason to question his suitability for public office. It demonstrates immaturity and an inability to make reasonable judgments.
- JohnJ | 01/12/2008 @ 11:50
We’re not talking about the most powerful man in the world, John, we’re talking about a babe beset by dogs of both sexes.
- vanderleun | 01/12/2008 @ 15:03
Well, I do see the point about immaturity and an inability to make reasonable judgments. I’m just calling this particular complaint out (and it seems the residents of Arlington agree with me) as frosting on the cake. The real issue is somewhere else.

But context is important, too. I’m not going to condemn a certain follically-challenged former Mayor of New York City for dressing up in drag, complete with feather boa. Last I checked, Arlington was smaller than NYC, so I would presume this represents a diminished concern, compared to that…besides of which, women’s underwear is something women are supposed to be wearing, whereas women’s dresses on wrinkled-up old white guys?

I don’t pretend to be above the double standard. She looks good in underwear, so I’ll cut her some slack. I just think my double standard makes more sense than most. Guys in dresses…yeah, I think I’ll take a pass on that one.
- mkfreeberg | 01/12/2008 @ 18:18

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