House of Eratosthenes

A writer for a St. Louis alternative newsweekly tells The Daily Caller he does not regret speculating in a story that the suspect of an attempted arson of a Democratic congressman’s campaign office was a Tea Party activist.

It turns out that the suspect in this week’s firebombing of Democratic Rep. Russ Carnahan’s campaign office in St. Louis was actually a liberal blogger and former paid campaign worker for Carnahan’s campaign.

“As to the legions of Tea Party adherents who are calling for my head: No, I have no regrets. I was having fun — at their expense,” River Front Times reporter Chad Garrison said in an email.
:
Outrage with Garrison comes from this paragraph in an article he penned about the incident. “Given what we know of him — 50, white, angry — he certainly fits the demographics of a Tea Party member.”

Garrison said his report was a “joke” and was not meant literally. He pointed to another section of the same story where he wrote: “On second thought, maybe he’s not a Tea Party member. Firebombing your opponent’s office seems a little too, um, sane for that group.”

Dana Loesch, a talk show host and leader of the St. Louis Tea Party, said Garrison’s report was “completely typical of that author.”

“We’ve asked for him to apologize for his remarks but he mistakenly confuses quasi-gonzo journalism with hackneyed writing,” she said.

On Thursday, Garrison said, “you’d have to be quite the literalist to believe I was actually accusing anyone of a crime. Then again, it’s becoming ever clearer that these are people who can’t take a joke and who have no emotion other than blind outrage and indignation.”

Yeah, when I want to see someone who has “no emotion other than blind outrage and indignation” I watch Keith Olbermann’s show.

Which means I don’t, but that’s another story.

You’ve heard of this anti-Muslim anger that has been whipped up into a deadly frenzy by all the opponents of the Victory Mosque? And then it turns out the taxicab driver that was stabbed, was opposed to the mosque and was stabbed by a lefty who was in favor of it.

The obvious lesson to be learned is that you shouldn’t rely on a sole-source for your information, if that source is driven by a clear agenda. Truth, as one would expect, becomes an early casualty.

But there is another lesson here, one much more subtle, and it has to do with this absurd “you-can’t-take-a-joke” defense.

People who think like kids should be kept out of positions of responsibility, credibility and power. One of the reasons we have a mental child sworn in as our President right now, for example, is that His opponent’s running mate famously said “I can see Alaska from my house!” Except she didn’t say that. It was a joke, get it?

And a decision got made based on that joke. There were no Saturday Night Live writers rushing the stage, desperately explaining to us “No, wait! Don’t make a decision based on my joke! It didn’t really happen, it was a joke!” No, the alteration of events that took place — assuming they were altered from what would naturally have happened — happened to be to their liking. And they’ll never say so in a million years, but that’s what really made it hilarious.

This is what Chad Garrison did. If his readers start to seriously think tea party members and sympathizers are more likely to commit arson, that fits in to what Garrison wants to have happen and that’s what makes the joke funny. Put another way, this is a practical joke, and it is upon the people who might make the mistake of trusting Garrison to tell them what’s going on.

Now we’ve got people elected to the highest offices of the government who nurture an ingrained hostility toward the free market; unemployment is steadfastly anchored to 9.5 percent, when in the decade previous with all of the “policies that got us into this mess in the first place” it found a natural resting place around 5.6. This translates to millions of people without work who don’t need to be out of work.

What a thigh slapper.

So when you have a grown-up decision you need to make, and it calls for some grown-up thinking, you can think like a grown-up but if you get your information from someone who thinks like a little kid you might as well be thinking like a little kid, and you’re going to make your grown-up decision poorly. That’s the lesson. All of the children need to leave the room. Yes, it doesn’t sound inclusive, and it isn’t, but this is the spirit that has been missing.

Instead, we have manufactured misunderstandings dressed up as “jokes.” If you fall for them, it’s your fault. If you think there’s something wrong with that, silly goose you, then it’s even more your fault. Grow some thicker skin, will ya?

Something tells me Mr. Garrison will manage to do some growing up if he meets a white, male, 50-ish, non-angry, calm, stoic, tea-party guy. Maybe that will expand his world view sufficiently to teach him what he needs to learn. Or maybe he’ll learn a bit more if he meets a black tea-party guy, 50-ish, calmly and stoically, in a non-angry way, bringing the gavel down on Garrison’s civil trial for libel.

No, the libel laws don’t work like that, but hey a guy can dream. Or no, wait! I’m only joking! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Jerk.

Saying “I can see Alaska from my house!” kinda kills the point of this. She said “I can see Russia from my house!”, which as a joke is pretty funny recalling as it does a key scene from “A Few Good Men.”
“I eat breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me.”
- HoustonMisanthrope | 08/27/2010 @ 07:25
The only thing that matters is The Narrative. All things must serve it. Lies, truth, distortion, fabrication, “fake but accurate” none of it matters so long as you are in true with The Narrative. Anything that is true that is in conflict with The Narrative must be ignored until the blogosphere makes it unignorable. Then it must be dismissed or downplayed.
- Duffy | 08/27/2010 @ 07:59

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“Fits the Demographics of a Tea Party Member”Friday, August 27th, 2010

“Fits the Demographics of a Tea Party Member”
Friday, August 27th, 2010