House of Eratosthenes

Once again, a girl has whittled God’s gracious gift down to a bony nuthin’…thinks it’s worth snapping a picture and putting on the Internet. This is somehow, in the minds of many, the fault of guys.

Don’t think so, folks. As this conversation has come up throughout the years, and I’ve discussed in it guys-only settings, I’ve met maybe in my entire life two gentlemen who favored the “must run around in shower to get wet” look. If it is anybody’s fault, it is the fault of the fashion industry. The fashion industry has very little to do with guys. Well, little to do with guys who like women anyway.

This is what guys like.

The feminist movement is running into the same problem, here, that has confronted the Obama administration along with all of modern liberalism. Really, the same problem lies in wait for any movement that is better defined according to what it hates than according to what it loves. Such movements tend to have it in common that they must have everything their way, all the time — the “no justice no peace” thing common to all revolutionary movements. But then, when something goes wrong, of course they want to blame the same target of hatred that they’ve spent all that energy and time making sure should never have any influence on anything. The job of making that object of loathing ineffectual, it seems, is never quite all the way done.

Young girls, their heads crammed full of feminist claptrap, no longer want to grow up to look like real women. They’d rather be walking skeletons. And then this is supposed to be mens’ fault.

No Calves As it happens, I recall lately seeing a thread in which a bunch of gents were criticizing Kate Upton’s calves for, well, for not being there. You remember Kate Upton, Swimsuit Illustrated babe…the one that was criticized for being a moo-cow by that “skinnygossip” blogger.

Who, as terrible as her sense of judgment is about a woman’s body, agrees with me about the overall situation…men want more curves, jealous mean valley girls think bag-of-antlers is the only acceptable look…

Huge thighs, NO waist, big fat floppy boobs, terrible body definition – she looks like a squishy brick. Is this what American women are “striving” for now? The lazy, lardy look? Have we really gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best we can aim for? Sorry, but: eww!
:
Yes, yes, I know that every tobacco-chewing, beer-drinking, shotgun-toting, NASCAR-watching man south of the Mason-Dixon line would love to get into her pants – but most of those guys wouldn’t know a beautiful woman if she jumped out in front of his pickup truck.

Okay, so maybe there’s a time gap going on here, during which time the model might have gained or lost weight. Models do that. But we have a fairly well defined difference of opinion going on here: The catty jealous skeletor bitch who writes her hateful little gossip column thinks Ms. Upton is a Sumo-wrestling, lard-eating squishy-brick moo cow. And the guys — along with the many upset “fans” who wrote in with their hate mail against the skeletor bitch — think the model is just fine, but might want to think about building up more muscle in the calf area.

And I’m in the latter group. The Kate Upton I’m seeing here, could use some inches in the roundness-of-hip area. And the calves would worry me, if I was in a position to think about it seriously. Skinny calves are trouble. There’s very little you can do to exert yourself, that doesn’t have something to do with the calf area. When a woman has PVC pipe calves it means she’s spending a lot of time sitting on the couch, watching teevee, and it’s probably not good teevee either. Reality teevee crap, maybe some home-shopping network, and tons and tons of “Lifetime” and “Oxygen Network” programming. Ordering her boyfriend to go out and bring her things. And probably owns a tiny dog. A really loud, annoying one. That she carries in a purse. My son brings home a prospective daughter-in-law for me and she doesn’t have calves, he & I are going to go off and have some serious conversations about things.

And, I also have to ask: “huge thighs”? I’m looking right at her thighs, right now. Those are some nice looking thighs. A bit on the thin side, if anything. Now, if you want to criticize the way Kate Upton throws a softball, then we can talk.

Yes, girls today do have an “eating disorder” and it is cultural. It doesn’t have that much to do with men, though.

Update: These are calves. Literally, gold medal calves:

OMG!

It’s Skeletor with a weight problem!

(Add one to the disapproval column – bitches be craaaaazy!)
- pdwalker | 02/24/2013 @ 10:10
You KNOW my opinion in this space; no need to reiterate.
- bpenni | 02/24/2013 @ 11:03
Saved the final image into permanent huhu file,a glorious “10”
- kermitt | 02/25/2013 @ 08:43
[…] He is not alone: […]
- dustbury.com » Tibial pursuit | 02/26/2013 @ 19:57
OK, at this point in my life, late 40’s, my priorities, for lack of a better word, have changed. I use to have a “type”, and pretty much still do, I like ‘em small and petite…all over…but like I said…now…if their just breathing…and give me the time of day…

But I have to say…skinny girls need loving too. And the chubby ones never, and still don’t, do it for me. And the big breasted ones, well, one word – gravity.
- tim | 02/27/2013 @ 11:16
tim,

There’s skinny and then there is “concentration camp survivor”. The girl in the first picture is about a month away from the latter.

not sexy.
- pdwalker | 02/27/2013 @ 19:07

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Eat Some Ribs
Sunday, February 24th, 2013