House of Eratosthenes

A lot of people think our President has left himself open to impeachment. Some of them think he has actually broken the law. I can’t disagree with these people outright, since the term “illegal alien” actually has the word “illegal” in it, and by passing up on so many opportunities to treat illegal aliens like illegal aliens, the administration may indeed be in breach of constitutional obligations, if nothing else. The failure of the Bush Administration to confer upon the United States, the sovereign privilege of enforcing its own border which every other nation on the planet enjoys, may be the one single policy Osama bin Laden actually likes.

So I always sit up and take notice when someone organizes a movement, in whatever form, to get the President impeached. I am told, very often, that “everybody” wants him out of office, that it isn’t just liberal Democrats who want “their” power back.

This is a pretty important question. Few things are more noble than holding our highest elected officials accountable to the law. Few things are less noble, than rocking the boat just because you like liberal Democrats, most people can’t stand them, and you want things done your way, hell with what everybody else wants.

So I’ve devised a litmus test. A very simple one.

Whenever someone makes the case to remove the President from office, because, after all, the guy is a lawbreaker, I do the best I can to find out what the Articles of Impeachment would be. Is the border issue in there somewhere? If so, then these are “real patriots,” simply insisting that high elected officials be bound by the same laws the rest of us must follow. That’s the essence of being an American. If it isn’t, then this is just another left-wing propaganda movement, nothing more. Why else would you sling a bunch of rhetoric around about breaking laws, while ignoring the one law the President is probably really breaking? Or at the very least, ignoring the willful violation of that law by others, when he’s specifically charged with enforcing it? Why would you leave that out?

So that’s my test.

And Neil Young fails it. Look at all that fanfare he’s getting from Fox, which I’m told is supposed to be slanted to the right, about the oh-so-witty lyrics in his new song you’ll be able to download Friday.

Let�s impeach the president for lying
And leading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door

He�s the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
And bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war

Let�s impeach the president for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our government�s protection
Or was someone just not home that day?

Let�s impeach the president
For hijacking our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god he�s racking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
There�s lot of people looking at big trouble
But of course the president is clean

Thank God

Yeah, if I’m a Congressman, and I’m named to be a Manager when a case of impeachment is presented to the Senate, that makes perfect sense to me…that very first line, impeach the President for lying. That’s great, that’s just great. It would fall to me to answer the question “exactly what lie was that?” when, for the last three years, nobody in a country of three hundred million people has had the balls to answer that question. I’m supposed to be the first guy, oh yeah, when the illegal alien issue would be a slam-dunk.

I mean, not that you’ll find 67 senators who would vote to convict on it, but at least I’d be able to state the case. Impeach him for lying?

All a Republican senator, loyal to the White House, would have to do is read the definition of lie out loud to me on the floor of the Senate…

lie(2)
n.

1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
2. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.

v. lied, ly�ing, (lng) lies
v. intr.

1. To present false information with the intention of deceiving.
2. To convey a false image or impression: Appearances often lie.

v. tr.

To cause to be in a specific condition or affect in a specific way by telling falsehoods.

Idiom:
lie through one’s teeth

To lie outrageously or brazenly.

…and inquire, innocently, which of these numbered definitions we’re supposed to use with regard to my articles? And there I’d be, Honorable Congressman and House Impeachment Manager Freeberg, standing there with my dick in my hand…duuuhhhh…

Not a single word about the border issue?

Not a single word about this cock-and-bull thing he said, about illegal aliens doing “the jobs Americans won’t do”? Not a single word?

Yeah, it can be a challenge getting just the right content in there, and keeping those lyrics snappy. Whatsamatta Mr. Young? Nothing rhymes with “border”?

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Does Anything Rhyme With “Border”?Thursday, April 27th, 2006

Does Anything Rhyme With “Border”?
Thursday, April 27th, 2006