House of Eratosthenes

Obamaholics Anonymous: The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted that like crazed pale metrosexuals we were powerless over Obama huffing, puffing, and fluffing � that our political lives had become unmanageable, bereft of truth, justice, and integrity.
2. Came to believe that a Constitution once again greater than Obama could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our political will and our Obama addiction over to the care of Common Sense as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and saw how continually conned we were to believe that this hybrid charlatan was in the game for anything other than his own enrichment, power, and aggrandizement.

5. Admitted to America, to ourselves, and to another drooling Democrat the exact nature of our inability to criticize and dump Obama simply because of the color of his skin even as the content of his character dwindled into negative numbers.

6. Were entirely ready to have the Constitution remove all these defects of our political disease.

7. Humbly asked the Constitution to remove this sham of a president even if it meant, yes, Biden.

8. Made a list of 317+ million Americans we had harmed by our stupid, stupid, selfish, and — dare we say? — braindead votes for Obama (twice because, yes, we were just that stupid), and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cause their teeth to burst into flames as they shouted, �WE TOL’ YOU DAT BITCH WAS CRAZY!�

10. Continued to ask ourselves �How could we be so stupid?� and — when we grew even stupider as Hillary shook her commodious tush — promptly admitted we were still not cured of our addiction.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve the chances that a random asteroid strike would reduce Washington DC to smoldering rubble, praying only for enough mass and orbit change to carry that out.

12. Having had a reverse political lobotomy as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message of Obama�s deep and enduring suckitude to others, and to remind ourselves to take a hot lead enema rather than ever voting Democrat again.

Liberalism, for the last forty years or so, has maintained a belief that all problems can be solved by way of getting even with some oppressive class, on behalf of some oppressed class — that you can actually balance budgets and make the environment work better that way. For the last twenty, it has maintained a belief that where liberalism tries and then fails, we can make it into a success simply by re-defining the original goals.

In the age of Obama, it means we should all pay for this through the nose. And, act like it’s making us fabulously wealthy. If we just believe with all our might, it becomes so.

Everyone out there remembers the great spendiddlydimulus of 2009, right? If you don’t, you should. It cost you a cool $787 billion.

Pfffft. Chump change, minions. GET BACK TO WORK.

Anywho, Obama’s lapdogs are calling that stimulus a win. I’m not even kidding you. They’re even celebrating its 5th anniversary – they did that yesterday in fact. I’m not sure if they gave it a present or made it a cake or danced with each other in some White House ballroom like raging, out-of-touch imbeciles, but they celebrated it nonetheless.

Meanwhile, back in Reality-Land, unemployment is the biggest problem facing Americans right now. Because people are out of work. Because that stimulus thing DIDN’T actually work. Well, Obama’s handlers are saying they “saved” jobs. So we have that, at least.

Yay us and saving jobs that may or may not have been lost. Or something.

Reality misses us. Come home.

Actually, no; reality couldn’t care less one way or the other. Reality chugs onward regardless of what we choose to believe…we, on the other hand, have always been fated to learn and re-learn whatever lessons we refuse to learn.

Time to hop off the silly-go-round, Obama voters.

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Curing the Obama AddictionTuesday, February 18th, 2014

Curing the Obama Addiction
Tuesday, February 18th, 2014