House of Eratosthenes

I’ve seen this written up in a couple other places but I’ll give the hat tip to Rick. And I think it’s only fair to explore things from Barry Manilow’s perspective to kick it off…

Monday, September 17, 2007
A message from Barry…

Hey guys,

I wanted to let you know that I will no longer be on The View tomorrow as scheduled. I had made a request that I be interviewed by Joy, Barbara or Whoopi, but not Elisabeth Hasselback. Unfortunately, the show was not willing to accommodate this simple request so I bowed out.

It’s really too bad because I’ve always been a big supporter of the show, but I cannot compromise my beliefs. The good news is that I will be on a whole slew of other shows promoting the new album so I hope you can catch me on those.

Love,
Barry

Rick winds up his post by launching a couple of questions aimed pointedly at Barry’s masculinity.

Rick, this strikes me as somewhat unfair. Not so much to Mr. Manilow, but to women, in general. I’ve personally met many fine people lacking in testosterone, penises or testicles who are perfectly qualified to help the legendary performance artist try to recover what he seems to be lacking; ladies of dignity, quality and guts.

Women who can share the same airspace with someone who disagrees with them about something. Maybe…maybe even deal with the point of disagreement, should it actually surface, not run screaming out of the room. In some cases, perhaps, even changing a mind or two, while keeping things positive.

As for the fellas — given the absurd situation that any among them are really as lacking in these qualities as Mr. Manilow seems to be, well, I’d consider it the definition of “gentlemanly” behavior to do what Manilow did. Better that a man admit to his limitations than to make an ass out of himself and everyone else. Of course, I can’t extend that observation to tossing The View producers under the bus on your website. In that sense if none other, I’m with ya.

I think Hasselbeck would do fine on teaching just some of these skills the musician is lacking, if a tutor must be found for Mr. Manilow. Maybe that’s what he doesn’t like about her. She can do some things he can’t. But if that’s so offensive to him, there are a lot of other folks who are up to the job. Obviously, Lesson One would have to be getting rid of the echo chamber. Can’t learn how to discuss anything if you’re constantly surrounded by yes-men.

Wow, you realize the ramifications of what I’ve just said? Manilow could learn what he needs to learn…not only from Hasselbeck…but from O’Donnell. Rosie O’Doughnut, a “lady” who has a raging case of CBTA if nobody else does. But at least she doesn’t have to control the roster of occupants of whatever room she’s in.

What a way to live.

But among the folks who are proud to call themselves “liberal,” or those who are more receptive to other people and ideas we call “liberal”…Mr. Manilow is far more representative a sampling than Ms. O’Donnell. There are far more people like him than her. In a way I guess that’s a good thing, because people like me are among the first to be ostracized by them and there’s only so much I can take of his pretentious crooning or her insipid yammering.

But isn’t it funny? The ideas these people have, tend to maintain this common theme that “everybody” should have a right to something-or-other, and “everybody” should have some kind of associated obligation. Like recording legend Manilow, when a lot of these people talk out these rights and responsibilities “everybody” should have, they really aren’t cool with talking it out — with everybody. Manilow’s word selection is revealing this way. It seems to be an important underlying principle that only some may discuss what, by design, is supposed to affect everyone. Profoundly.

Rick, I like your observation, I just think it needs a little bit of refinement. To say that what Manilow is lacking has something to do with manhood, strikes me as a short-changing of women for the respect some of them — most of them — are justly due. To say he has yet to grow up, likewise, would be insulting the children. Maybe the most accurate reference available would have something to do with evolution. Our songbird, along with millions of liberals, is stuck sometime in the past. Somewhere before the ancient Greeks, who made an art and a science out of talking things out, centuries before the time of Christ.

I hope it doesn’t have to do with his genetic makeup or anything. I’d like to think there’s still a way to get him the help that he needs. But there does seem to be something rather subhuman about it all. Something…insect-like. Hmmm. Maybe that’s the root source of the word I’m trying to invent here. I’ll have to ponder this some other time, I got a nice full day to spend working.

Around people who don’t agree with me about everything.

Wow. Complimenting Rosie O’Donnell. That had to be tough. Good for you.

That should get you a guest gig on “Dirty Jobs”. 🙂

I saw the dude in a (functioning) septic tank cleaning it with a flat hoe. Somebody’s gotta do it.

[snerk!]
- philmon | 09/19/2007 @ 09:30
Phil,

It’s a dreadfully sticky business getting this stuff worded right. I just realized from my own ramblings one could reasonably glean the interpretation that I’m calling Rosie O’Donnell a “lad[y] of dignity, quality and guts.” That’s factually dubious, and not so complimentary to the fairer sex either.

And it’s also an almost direct contradiction of Thing I Know #70, which was jotted down in the first place as sort of a “tribute” to the Pastrymeister. Anyway, I wouldn’t be such a picky-butt about it if there weren’t so many people resembling Manilow and subscribing to his echo chamber.
- mkfreeberg | 09/19/2007 @ 09:38
Oh, I realize that. I was being facetious. I realize that you were talking in relative terms and about particular aspects of their personalities.

I just read another article (on E!) about it that said that Barry’s misrepresenting what happened. He did, indeed, request not to be interviewed by Hasslebeck, but by the others.

But The View Producers say they cancelled the appearance when they learned of his objections.

But hold the phone, Rosie’s not off the hook on this!

It also turns out that Barry, on a recent album, did a duet with Rosie O’D of Elton John/Kiki Dee’s hit “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. Apparently he got a bit chummy with Rosie, and it wouldn’t shock me at all to find that Rosie had something to do with it… because, see, he’d been on the show before.

Anyway, here’s that link.
- philmon | 09/19/2007 @ 11:08
Monday, September 9, 2007
A message from David…

Hey guys,

I wanted to let you know that I will no longer be adressing congress tomorrow as scheduled. I had made a request that I be questioned by Crocker, Bush or Cheney, but not Robert Wexler or Loretta Sanchez. Unfortunately, congress was not willing to accommodate this simple request so I bowed out.

It’s really too bad because I’ve always been a big supporter of the the House and Senate, but I cannot compromise my beliefs. The good news is that I will be on a whole slew of late-night talk shows promoting the my conclusions about the war, so I hope you can catch me on those.

Love and kisses,
General David “Heart Of Steel” Petraeus
- stoorat | 09/19/2007 @ 12:19
Mr. Manlow states’ “…I cannot compromise my beliefs.” Intolerance, bigotry & censorship? Those beliefs?

Krykee.

The adults of this world are weary with the self-important adolescent hypocrites who champion the self deluded spectacle of a hierarchy of ‘approved’ people while relegating ideas to an egalitarian flat line.

Shaddup n sing, manlow.
- locomotivebreath1901 | 09/19/2007 @ 14:11
Morgan,

Great points… I stand corrected and am awe of your logic…

🙂

-Rick
Brutally Honest
- Ricksteroni | 09/19/2007 @ 20:30
[…] I Made a New Word VII Memo For File XLVII Barry’s Beliefs Forcing Them Into Tolerance So You Think You Can Prank? IMade a New Word VI Maybe After She’s Out, And Safe Omigawd, That’s a Dude? Sweden: Men Are Bad Steep Discount for Move On Let Us Remember… Simply Reprehensible I’m a Slithering Reptile […]
- House of Eratosthenes | 09/20/2007 @ 10:06

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent

Items of Interest

Monthly Archives

What They Say

Links

Barry’s BeliefsWednesday, September 19th, 2007

Barry’s Beliefs
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007