Alarming News: I like Morgan Freeberg. A lot.
American Digest: And I like this from "The Blog That Nobody Reads", because it is -- mostly -- about me. What can I say? I'm on an ego trip today. It won't last.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: We were following a trackback and thinking "hmmm... this is a bloody excellent post!", and then we realized that it was just part III of, well, three...Damn. I wish I'd written those.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: ...I just remembered that I found a new blog a short while ago, House of Eratosthenes, that I really like. I like his common sense approach and his curiosity when it comes to why people believe what they believe rather than just what they believe.
Brutally Honest: Morgan Freeberg is brilliant.
Dr. Melissa Clouthier: Morgan Freeberg at House of Eratosthenes (pftthats a mouthful) honors big boned women in skimpy clothing. The picture there is priceless--keep scrolling down.
Exile in Portales: Via Gerard: Morgan Freeberg, a guy with a lot to say. And he speaks The Truth...and it's fascinating stuff. Worth a read, or three. Or six.
Just Muttering: Two nice pieces at House of Eratosthenes, one about a perhaps unintended effect of the Enron mess, and one on the Gore-y environ-movie.
Mein Blogovault: Make "the Blog that No One Reads" one of your daily reads.
The Virginian: I know this post will offend some people, but the author makes some good points.
Poetic Justice: Cletus! Ah gots a laiv one fer yew...
Cassy’s pissed, and rightly so.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The trouble with women is that women are people, and people are flawed. So this isn’t really a woman thing. I notice when people get into a group setting, especially online with that semi-safe semi-anonymity, and say “Is it okay if I…” there are two things that are going on. One, the right answer is no and they damn well know it; two, they’re hoping to make it into a yes. Psychologists have a specific term to describe this: Validation.
In my book, that’s a betrayal of wedding vows already. The husband didn’t marry hundreds and hundreds of future best-friends-forever who have yet to be met and maybe, in some cases, have yet to even be born. He didn’t marry a bunch of semi-anonymous female busybodies on the Internet. Why should his married life be affected, in any way, by the opinions spouting forth from such outsiders? He married a woman…one woman…one mature and capable woman, which means that woman is duty-bound to come up with her own ways of handling things.
This is an equal-opportunity complaint. Lately I’m just completely bowled over by the number of ways some people conjure up, to demonstrate they never were ready for marriage — without coming out & saying it or even admitting it to themselves. It’s not a country club membership or a fun hobby to try out for a little while.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
It was interesting that this turned out to be a slam on *wives* who cheat while husbands are in war zones…rather than a slam on husbands who cheat while in war zones, on women who are waiting faithfully back home.
Don’t get drunk and make out with another chick, Cassy says. Okay, fair enough. She’s definitely got the moral high ground and I agree with her. That said, a lot of these guys probably wouldn’t mind. In fact they’d think it’s hot. On finding out their wives had done this, I imagine a lot of those Marines would say, “How about bringing her over while I’m on leave and we’ll have a threesome?” Maybe Marines look down on that kind of behavior, maybe they don’t. I doubt most Army soldiers would care, but then the Marines have always been known to place a premium on high behavioral standards.
I have a bit more sympathy than Cassy does, for wives who get lonely while their husbands are deployed. It can’t be easy to have the person you care about not only gone for months and months at a time…but to be continually worried about them while they’re gone. Some just don’t have the constitution for it, and should probably divorce if they aren’t prepared to stick it out.
Which is pretty much what Cassy is saying…right after writing that such wives shouldn’t send “Dear John” letters to war zones. When is she supposed to do it, right after he gets back? After he’s been home for…two weeks? A month? Six months? How long does she have to continue to go through the motions after deciding that it isn’t working out?
For that matter, the Marine Corps does have female members, and surely some of those enlisted/officer women have husbands who aren’t in the military, who stay behind and work in a normal civilian life while their wives are deployed. What’s the story with *those* families?
- cylarz | 09/07/2011 @ 09:03Um, wow, Cylarz. Have there been a lot of “Dear Jane” letters going out where I can’t see them? This is one of the parts of the Modern age I can’t deal with. Cassy sees a problem with how her peers are acting, and tries to calibrate their behavior. Instead of a tip of the head upon seeing women try to police their own, it’s “Men are Pigs!” time. Cassy is writing about her personal observations and has spent no time in a War zone, but no matter! We must have a moral equivalence, even when it doesn’t seem to exist. In your attempt to be “fair” Cylarz, you come off looking to me to be so sexist that you cannot see women as equal, moral agents, compared to men. The same idiot thinking that makes a man a “Rapist” if he and she had something to drink before the act and she has morning regrets. She cannot consent because she was “drunk” (no matter how little or much she had to drink, or her tolerance) but the man is responsible for his acts no matter how much he has had to drink, even if he was unconscious. This is Equality?
- Robert Mitchell Jr. | 09/08/2011 @ 08:48I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, Robert, or why you’re so hard on what I wrote.”Sexist?” Gimme a break. Where? And who the hell mentioned rape?
Cassy has the right idea; I simply think the guys who are deployed aren’t going to care as much about a lesbian kiss as she thinks they will. It’s one thing to sleep with your husband’s best friend while he is gone, but she got a little hammered one night and made out with another girl while he was in Iraq…and this is supposed to be a big deal?
And I’m rather curious to hear your reply to my question – if sending dear john letters to a war zone isn’t the right thing to do…when IS it the right time?
- cylarz | 09/08/2011 @ 11:20Sexist? Obviously sexist. Cassy writes about an actual problem with the behavior of women and you complain that she did not attack the men serving overseas in warzones who might, might for you give no examples, be behaving badly. I mentioned rape as an example of this sort of thinking, where Men and Women are equal, except Women are more equal then Men. The reasoning should be easy. If a woman cannot give consent because alcohol has removed her moral agency, then men can’t be held accountable for their behavior under the influence. Which the legal system is aware of, in other areas of the Law where this bias does not come up, such as drunk driving, which is a separate law from murder, which requires moral agency.
Ah, but Cassy sees women more clearly here then you (I think). First, this was not “she got a little hammered one night”, this was premeditated. Clue. Second, odds are quite good that they are not going to have a “Lesbian Kiss” after SGALHON, it’s going to be a guy she has set her eyes on. The talk about “Lesbian Kiss” is, as Cassy is well aware, and you should be, just a CYA tactic.
Well, duh. Breaking up by letter, phone, text, email, whatever, is a dick move. Everyone knows that. You break up in person. Women understand this just fine when they are on the receiving end. Can you give me an example of a woman happy that he broke up with her by text? Don’t think so. Quite a few discussions about netiquette talking about how wrong it is……. That’s the general consensus. If you want my personal opinion, never. Duh. Marriage is “To death do you part”, and in this degraded age, to sleep with a woman is to marry her.
- Robert Mitchell Jr. | 09/08/2011 @ 20:00Cassy writes about an actual problem with the behavior of women and you complain that she did not attack the men serving overseas in warzones who might, might for you give no examples, be behaving badly.
She also writes that she believes she’s apparently the only Marine wife she knows who’s playing by the rules. I doubt very much that’s true. This is why I don’t read her blog more often. Even when making the right points, she manages to come across as self-righteous and/or full of righteous indignation and outrage. There are countless other bloggers who could have put this better than she did – female ones at that – without coming-off as holding herself up as a superior example of womanhood.
As to that second part, I guess the shopworn, cliched saying, “a sweetheart in every port” has no meaning for you. I really need to spell this one out for you? In between all your “duh” remarks, you completely manage to miss what I was trying to say.
I mentioned rape as an example of this sort of thinking, where Men and Women are equal, except Women are more equal then Men. The reasoning should be easy.
No, you mentioned rape and alcohol because you wanted to muddle and confuse the discussion. It had nothing whatever to do with the topic at hand and you know it. The only sex we’re talking about here is the consensual kind.
Well, duh. Breaking up by letter, phone, text, email, whatever, is a dick move. Everyone knows that. You break up in person. Women understand this just fine when they are on the receiving end.
Okay, third time on the merry-go-round. HOW LONG IS SHE SUPPOSED TO WAIT BEFORE TELLING HIM IT’S NOT WORKING OUT? How long is she supposed to wait before admitting that the separation is too hard, that she can’t handle it? His entire deployment? He might be gone for a fracking year. If anything, I give such a woman props for being honest. I don’t condone cheating; I do condone honesty. The case has even been made that it’s *better* to send “Dear John” letters into war zones, as then he’ll at least have the support of his Marine buddies to help him through it.
No, though, I suppose you believe it’s better to dump the poor guy after he gets home…at which point you’ll call his wife/girlfriend/whatever “cruel” because he’s probably got a raging case of PTSD from being shot-at for months by insurgents and can’t handle trouble at home, too. Or as Cassy says, “she signed up for this and should have known what she was getting herself into,” even if he joined the Corps after the knot was already tied.
Look, we can go round and round about this all day. You apparently think I tolerate bad behavior, I think…well, you don’t really want to know.
If you’ve got a blog of your own, Robert…remind me never to go near it. I’d hate to be accused of seeing things less “clearly” than someone who’s obviously got it all figured out.
- cylarz | 09/08/2011 @ 20:43