House of Eratosthenes

We here at The Blog That Nobody Reads are fans of Sarah Palin, and yet we’ve been on a Palin moratorium since long before a Palin moratorium was cool. November of last year, to be precise.

Terms are as follows:

…[W]hen she points out something meaningful, or is imploded by the major scandal that has been so breathlessly anticipated by her enemies for over two years straight now. Or, when she turns out to be right about something and the O-Man turns out to be wrong…which is the trigger most likely to get tripped first.

But some whiny pussykins writing a meandering screed — thereby proving she’s relevant AND electable — is not going to get any notice from us for the foreseeable future. This is just stupid. Someone wants attention so they write “Palin Go Away!” and they just…get it? Enough is enough.

So if Palin announces she’s running, we’ll pay attention. If she announces she’s not, we’ll pay attention. She wins the lottery, sprains her ankle, Heavy forbid she or one of her family is hurt or killed or kidnapped, we’ll talk about it. She turns out to be right and her enemies turn out to be wrong, we’ll talk about it.

“Hey, look at my elegant essay about how tired people are of her!” we’re ignoring. “Hey, look at this push-poll we did saying it’s time for her to go away!” — ditto. And, true to our prediction four months ago, the one single Palin-related thing worth talking about that has happened most often, is she’s made a point that turned out to be absolutely correct that few, or no, other people wanted to make even though everyone with a brain knows it’s right. It happened just in the last couple days actually.

Palin Fear Chart Well, this moratorium has hit Public Policy Polling disproportionately hard. They’re supposed to be polling the public on a variety of issues — maybe they are. But whenever I hear out of them it’s exactly the kind of push-poll or whiny sniveling treatise I was talking about earlier.

So I imagine I should apologize to them. If the world really ended and women and minorities were hardest-hit, as the joke goes, we’d feel particularly bad for the women and minorities right? Well, I’ve not heard hide nor hair of PPP — ever — apart from their latest poll instructing us to think the snowbilly has overstayed her welcome and needs to go away. Lather, rinse, repeat. So because of the terms of our moratorium, what we end up practicing is a “don’t link or excerpt anything from those left-wingers pretending to be independent over at Public Policy Polling.”

It’s so unfair. Think I’ll cry about it. Or write myself a reminder note to do so, anyway.

Once you tune out the droning buzz of “Oh God please nominate her because I’m a slobbering faithful democrat and Obama will crush her like a bug!,” one salient thought comes to the forefront and it isn’t that Holy Man will crush her like a bug. No, the thought is…Jesus fucking Christ they are so scared of her. Which is not to deny Obama will crush her like an insect or anything. Obama’s Obama. If it does indeed come to be a popularity contest, He will win no matter who’s challenging Him, because let’s face it, He does have the most charming personality.

But popularity contests are for little kids. We think like little kids when we feel like we can afford to do so. Thanks to the ravaging effect of Birther Zero’s policies, a lot of us don’t feel like we can afford to think like little kids anymore…and we’re right.

The left’s fear of her has reached thermonuclear levels of heat, pressure and intensity. As the above graph shows, they think they’ve got some smooth sailing ahead if only they can get rid of her. That’s why you don’t hear “I don’t like Sarah Palin” or “I disagree with Sarah Palin’s position on this that or the other.” You very rarely hear that. It’s “She is so unqualified.” They don’t want her in the running. They want her gutterballed, the sooner the better.

Know what?

You don’t react that way to someone you think you can beat. It’s just a fact. If you really think you can take ’em down, you get into the cage match with ’em and you do it. “Unqualified”? That’s what pussies say.

Speaking of pussies. It’s time to address the “moderate” “Republicans.” But I can’t say anything that will compare with the rhetorical napalm drop of veteran Bob Zee:

She is fighting multibillion dollar left wing media companies and two hack political parties every fucking day of her life, and we cannot even muster a defense with the exception of a few websites and the OCCASIONAL defense on talk radio.

PATHETIC.

I served in Korea and Vietnam in combat. When I say combat, I mean COMBAT. After that, I worked for the government “unofficially” (use your imagination.)

I killed with my bare hands for this country and it makes me sick that even most of my fellow conservatives will not lift a finger to help her. If I was younger and still serving I would be honored to have her as my commander in chief.

You can keep the phony tough guy men that get trotted out as candidates. I saw REAL leadership up close and I know what it looks like. Sarah Palin has “IT.”

I saw men blown to pieces and other men who still ran forward with the entrails of their best friends still on them. My oh my, how far we have fallen. Those boys had integrity and valor. Today’s conservative movement by and large is not fit to shine their fucking shoes.

The state of our conservative movement today sickens me.

It is full of frauds and cowards. We cower in fear because the media is too mean and unfair to Sarah Palin, so we should just throw her over the fucking side because ITS TOO HARD to fight back.

AWWWW, poor babies.

Exactly. Ever see High Noon? It’s completely awesome. Gary Cooper gets himself a nice shave, then he dresses up to meet the bad guys who are coming in by train to take him down, then he swallows these magic pills that make him bulletproof, then he grabs the bad guy by his boots and throws him over a grain silo, and grows thirty feet, and tramples the buildings they’re hiding in with his boots, and then travels back in time and…

No, none of that happens. High Noon is a great movie because it doesn’t say too much about Marshal Will Kane’s character. The story isn’t really about him. Not really. High Noon is about the citizens of Hadleyville. The people who hid behind the closed shutters.

I suppose it’s really about both. It’s about the contrast between ordinary people who see what needs to be done and get it done, and gutless fucking cowards.

I can appreciate this, so Zee’s words really speak to me. We’re not living in a story about Palin. She might not run…probably won’t run…and who in the world can blame her at this point?

It’s a story about the rest of us. Or her ankle-biting critics anyway. Just sitting behind the shutters and the blinds…doing nothing…knowing full well that O-Bummer is ballooning our national debt way out of control, bowing to our enemies, selling us down the river just like Frank Miller is arriving on the train. Doing nothing about any of it. Saying whatever they think they need to say to elevate themselves a notch or two in their perceived social structure. Like wild dogs fighting over a soup bone. Completely pathetic.

And here’s Palin. What is she? I can tell you what she isn’t: Running for President. Not yet. A housewife scribbling stuff down on her Facebook page.

This is their target.

They think it makes them big somehow. Oh my…I struggle, in futility, trying to think of an example of someone being more mistaken. Eighth-graders trying to look cool smoking cigarettes, maybe?

Cower away, Hadleyville citizens. Show us what you do best. Show us all what you’re good for. The one & only thing.

And Public Policy Polling, I’m looking forward to your next poll. Going to give it all the attention it deserves. Promise.

Bob Zee is right. I have expressed my doubts about Palin but you observe and you learn. In the situation America is facing, Palin is the least “extreme” candidate imaginable. At least if you want to preserve the country.
- El Gordo | 03/18/2011 @ 04:45
From RedHampshire
Pretty much the same Eyore “It’ll never work” opinion logic cited above.

EX NH Sen. Gregg, who knows exactly what a lateral promotion to an “exploratory” panel means, lives up to the RINO moniker that SOME folks bestow upon him.
Maybe right, maybe wrong. How would we ever know Judd?
Leave the preemptive bowing to superiors up to the current WTF handlers of the TPOTUS.
- CaptDMO | 03/18/2011 @ 10:06
WHERE’S MY EYE-ROLL EMOTICON? You should get to work on that, Morgan. There is a DIRE need out here in flyover country.

Love,
Pussykins
- bpenni | 03/18/2011 @ 12:25
If she’s unelectable, destined to lose if she runs, & on top of it is not running…I figure there’s nothing worth rolling the eyes about. Certainly nothing that calls for caps, heheh.

On the other hand, if woe be unto us the ignorant snowbilly has a shot at getting in there, I’m sure she’ll be a benevolent dictator upon you. Unlike your current despot. Hey, which one of those two is less likely to lobby Congress for a rule about what kind of coffee creamer you’re going to be forced to buy?
- mkfreeberg | 03/18/2011 @ 12:31
This would be the polling firm that included Charlie Sheen as a prospective candidate for 2012? Seriously, guys? The Donald isn’t a frivolous enough candidate already? Forget apologies. These guys need the point-and-laugh treatment.
- Rich Fader | 03/18/2011 @ 13:54
No, you want to talk about something needing the eye-roll icon. That, friends, needs the eye-roll icon more than anything involving Sarah Palin’s running for president.
- Rich Fader | 03/18/2011 @ 14:01
Unlike your current despot.

Yours, too. Last time I looked, anyhoo. And didja really mean mine, as in personally? I certainly hope not.

Rich: Agreed on the Sheen/Trump things.
- bpenni | 03/19/2011 @ 11:56
I mean by that, He has jurisdiction over you. He reigns over you, and you must answer to Him. Ready to rule on day one & all that.

See, there’s a fundamental issue here about how citizens are to relate to the government. That’s why it has become so out of fashion, with breathtaking quickness — historical quickness, I would say — to factor personalities & hatchet jobs into figuring out who’s “qualified” to run for President. I mean yes, it’s still very stylish to wish she would go away already et cetera…but lately, when the Palin hater is really painted into a corner over why she isn’t right for a job, the right move is to change the subject. Two years ago it was to give a ritual horse-laugh and make jokes about seeing Russia from her house.

This whole business of finding JUST the right personality to ensconce into 1600 Pennsylvania, has bit the mat. Really, really hard. I was never for it. Gilbert Gottfried, Carrot Top, Ferris Bueller’s math teacher, Twiki the Robot from Buck Rogers…if any of them are backing the right policies and principles, not just coupling up with ’em on a fair-weather-friendship basis, they’ve got my backing. But thus far there’s only one candidate who has shown testicular fortitude for it.

I’m sure she’ll be a gentle, benevolent tyrant over you.
- mkfreeberg | 03/19/2011 @ 12:05

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An Apology to Public Policy PollingThursday, March 17th, 2011

An Apology to Public Policy Polling
Thursday, March 17th, 2011