House of Eratosthenes

People ask me why I don’t believe in MMGW (man-made global warming) when so many scientists say it’s a done deal, I’m not a scientist, and I haven’t seen Al Gore’s movie. Certainly, by my own rules my opinion of the movie is worth a lot less than someone else who has seen the movie, so maybe I should shut up. On the other hand, the doomsayers say they are really concerned about people like me. They say people like me, are holding up the whole show. So maybe my opinion isn’t unimportant after all. Why don’t I just drop the skepticism and become a true believer?

Well, I’m relatively old by now, at least compared to a lot of “Inconvenient Truth” viewers and fans. This stuff isn’t new to me. Back when I was a kid, this is what liberalism was: political agendas advanced through impending doom. Agent Orange, Mutually Assured Destruction, Second Ice Age, plastic in the landfills, flaming rivers, and, yes, the ozone. I’m sure your perspective changes when you’ve dropped the nine bones per scalp to see the movie, and maybe your perspective changes when you’ve sat through the movie. But kiddies, perspective changes when, within your lifespan, the “Vote Democrat Or We’re All Gonna Die” thing goes into its second and third lap. If you were born after 1972, you may not fully appreciate that, and if you were born after 1979 you almost certainly won’t. That’s one reason. But an even bigger reason, is crap like this: The former Vice-President’s appearance on the Daily Show, with host John Stewart. Go on, watch it. It’s eleven minutes long. Watch.

Consider: Our continuing survival, together with the planet’s ability to sustain any life form, is being threatened. We are failing in our “moral obligation to our children.” In ten years we will cross the point of no return, and nobody can get our President to educate himself about what’s happening, darn it. Al Gore comes along to show us what is happening, and he has no other agenda, political or otherwise. In fact, he honestly fails to understand why anyone would think such a thing. Just consider all that.

Is it appropriate to crack these kinds of jokes when you’re discussing the issue?

Would you be acting this way?

I’ve addressed this peculiar behavior before. I’m supposed to believe someone really, truly, honestly, believes we’re five steps from Ragnarok, and it’s our fault, and time is running out on any effort to prevent certain doom. And this guy is jolly and giggly about it. Guffaws at every joke. Just his incredible optimistic vision, I guess. Sorry, I can’t sign on to that.

At about the three-and-a-half minute mark, Gore and Stewart have a good ol’ gut-laugh about the idea of Gore making royalties off things melting. Oh, how droll. Gore is finding this all so very amusing, finishing off by saying “well, there is a lot of melting going on…” then screeching to a halt in mid-chortle, looking very dour. “Unfortunately.”

That just encapsulates the problem I have with movement. It’s so political. I suppose all grassroots movements must be, but this is a little too much. We’re all gonna die, so let’s get some yuks out of it? This is simply not how people behave when universal armageddon is at hand, and they’re having trouble raising conciousness about it.

Reviewing back in the nineties, things get even more bollywonkers. Al Gore says he’s been making this movie, in some form or another, for 20 or 30 years. He’s been giving the presentation since before he became Vice-President. Okee dokee, so Bill Clinton is President, we’re “trashing the planet” as they say, the Veep knows what huge trouble we’re in but very few other people do. Vice President is a pretty high position; how does it come to pass, that the Clinton adminstration doesn’t become the Climate Crisis Presidency? Why were we so spun up on hate crimes, hiking the minimum wage, and Hillary healthcare?

On a planet that is doomed to become a barren rock, who gives a rat’s ass about extra prison time for Nazi skinheads, and free medicine for old people?

Someone has instructed Al Gore that he should fight his reputation as a boring guy, by giggling whenever he talks about right-wing idealogues, right-wing talk radio, right-wing Republicans, and anything else right-wing. He really needs to reconsider this. If I’m talking about the world coming to an end, I can see a chuckle slipping past my lips maybe one time — if someone cracks a joke that is completely unexpected, and outrageously funny. One time. Any more than that, is pushing it. You can’t say “let’s put politics behind and solve this thing” — especially when you’re a politician — giggle twelve times in eleven minutes, and look credible.

Not to anyone outside of those who decided to agree with you before you even stepped out on the stage.

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A Hilarious TruthFriday, June 30th, 2006

A Hilarious Truth
Friday, June 30th, 2006