House of Eratosthenes

The One For Whom My Affection Is Unlimited sent me an e-mail this morning. It was too good not to link, so I hit the search engines with the most remote hope that I could possibly correctly give credit where it is due.

I have failed. The oldest link I can find is to April Shenandoah, writing for the American Partisan in September 2003, and she as much as states she is not the original author. Interestingly, Shenandoah recites this in exactly the same politically-incorrect way I came across it this morning, although the newer recitations appear to have “spruced it up” for wider consumption — you’ll see how at the end.

Below is a list of our taxes that I received from the Internet — and recently heard on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
Capital Gains Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Court Fines (indirect taxes)
Dog License Tax
Federal Income tax
Federal Unemployment tax (FUTA)
Fishing License tax
Food License tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money)
Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Local Income Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Pistol Permit Tax
Septic Permit Tax
Service Charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Toll Booth Taxes
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Toll Bridge Taxes
Toll Tunnel Taxes
Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
Trailer registration tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

In PA there is a “right to work tax.”

NOTE: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What the H— happened?

Now if you want to get philosophical about this, which most people don’t, the answer is a little complicated. The income tax came along years before women got the right to vote, which in turn happened generations before it became widely accepted for women to go out and work.

Women working didn’t cause anything to happen. Women working was a symptom of something else, and all these taxes, also, are a symptom of something else. It was the industrial revolution. Things just plain work differently in an industrialized world. And people come to be concerned about different things.

Prohibition is a great example. We didn’t give women the right to vote and then stand by and watch as they outlawed booze. The amendment was actually ratified before womens’ suffrage became effective. But — those who were allowed to vote on passing that amendment, and ratifying it, did what those in government always do: They foretold. They anticipated. They read the tea leaves.

And even that is different, since being an elected representative has different connotations in an industrial environment than it does in an agricultural one. Our Founding Fathers (whoops! — sorry, gals) did all kinds of stuff, once elected into the government they started, that no modern politician would do. These things would have been too “dangerous.”

Therefore — and this is just my opinion, I can’t prove it — it was pre-determined that if we were to outlaw booze through a constitutional amendment, it would happen inside of a year or two of women’s suffrage. We could somehow go back in time and start the whole experiment all over again, and it would happen that way. Again. And again. And again.

That’s because when society is modernized, people get uppity about their rights relative to the rights other groups of people have. And politicans start making a career out of being a politician. It’s human nature. When the republic started, if you served in the Senate, you served in the Senate and…went home and harvested cabbage and squash so your family would have something to eat. If you were a Supreme Court justice, you served on the Supreme Court and…harvested cabbage and squash. Thomas Jefferson invented stuff, founded colleges, served two terms as our President and…plowed. That’s just the way it worked.

You know, think about it. It’s February, and you have to worry about the October harvest. Maybe insects will eat your crops. You do have some fluidity…you could have a good year of sugarbeets and a lousy year for potatoes, and if your neighbor ends up with lots of potatoes and is short on his beets, you can swap. But maybe there won’t be any rain. What will you do then?

Some golf club isn’t admitting women? How is it you have time to worry about such things? If you need more work to do, I have extra plows. You wanna eat, right?

It’s a continuing source of amazement to me, as I read the biographies of people who were alive at that time, how immersed they were in the continuing practice of reading and writing. Today, we don’t have to spend any actual time actually doing much of anything. What would Thomas Jefferson give up for a luxury like that? You’d think we could read and write up the yin-yang.

And yet I can write 2,700 words, and people who somehow have time to scour the innernets “policing” everybody’s opinions to make sure nobody disagrees with them, see fit to bitch about the 2,700 words.

It just goes to show. Once a standard of living increases, you get this situation where you round up a hundred randomly-selected, widely repeated complaints — what you end up with is maybe one valid complaint and ninety-nine sacks of bullshit, minus the sacks.

Thing I Know #7. A lot of what passes for bad news in a technological society, wouldn’t be discussed in an agricultural one because it would be a waste of time.

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What The Hell Happened?
Friday, January 20th, 2006