House of Eratosthenes

The FAQ mentions it (Question #11), and I have discussed it repeatedly, like here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here. I just can’t, it seems, shut my cakehole about it.

What is “it”?

“It” is a pair of things, actually. Here at The Blog That Nobody Reads, we like to critique the prevailing viewpoint, that all-important Conventional Wisdom. We blossom forward with unsolicited opinions, when that Conventional Wisdom is most opprobrius to old-fashioned common sense. And the pair of things that “It” is, would be the two subjects that repeatedly inspire comments, design to influence the unspoken orthodoxy, that are…well, let’s just call them what they are. Bull squeeze. Moose feces. Wombat-rabites bollywonkers crazy codswallop.

Where these two subjects rise up, it seems the more impressive the office held by the person speaking out about them, the more nonsensical is the crap coming out of that person’s mouth. People say stuff with regard to these subjects that, if life & limb were depending on the verity of the stuff they’re saying, they’d stop in mid-sentence and then start mentally spanking themselves for the foolishness of the comments they’re passing through their voice boxes, or placing in ink over their signatures.

The two subjects are terrorist attacks, and young ladies who aren’t wearing very much clothing.

I’ve commented before on my complete lack of success trying to figure out what these two subjects have to do with each other. I still don’t understand what the common ground is. But there must be some.

We have people in positions of power, prestige, and public trust, who say people in our executive branch should be blamed for — hurricanes! Yes! And yet, when evil men conspire for years at a time, taking lessons in how to fly a plane but not to land it, go to one last stripper show on September 10, say their prayers, bathe in their martyr’s cologne, do their holy fasting, rent cars, catch planes, slash the flight attendants’ throats with box-cutters, hijack the plane, say some more prayers, and then with a hearty “Allah Ackbar!” steer the aircraft into buildings…this whole event is something that happened. You can’t describe the event while mentioning the word “Islam” or “Muslim,” not unless you’re talking about hate crimes unfairly perpetuated in the wake of the event…or pontificating with dread about how some of our airport security people may be thinking about some racial profiling. Oh, no, never speak about those who did something that was done. You only speak of our (Republican) President, and the cause-and-effect influence he may have had on the freakin’ weather.

Yes, acts of God are blamed on men, and acts of men are blamed on…well, these speakers won’t say what. Oopsie, look what “happened.” It “happened.” What “happened on September 11, 2001.” It’s gotten bad. It’s gotten to the point where I’m harboring some real misgivings against that H-word. Nobody did it, per se. It “happened.”

Flashback…

And regarding the other article, the young ladies wearing immodest cheerleader costumes, or bathing suits, or waitress uniforms, there is a much greater assortment of effluence. Some of the statements seek to assert that when a waitress job involves wearing a uniform that leaves a significant patch of skin uncovered, and a young lady takes it upon herself to apply for that position, somehow she’s being “exploited” even though she’s initiating the application process herself. Stupefyingly, some among us will seek to deprive the lady of that choice, while holding themselves up as paladins of the “womens’ choice” cause. Some of the other comments seek to disassociate the lady from other positions she might hold, which have nothing to do with dressing immodestly, are not affected in any way by her choosing to do so — in effect, culminating to her dismissal from various “day jobs” when she’s caught wearing a bikini in a completely unrelated and unassociated setting. And, on occasion, even under an assumed name.

All of these cognitions, sentiments and proclamations are fecal in nature. They are worth nothing, save for fertilizing qualities. No one in their right mind, would actually consume them, since they’re simply a waste product from something else. You wouldn’t bet your own life, limb, treasure, or esteem on the idea that the September 11 attacks simply “happened,” or that when a cheerleading squad including girls as young as 6 or 7 years old is required to cover up their bellies with some fabric, the prohibition against bare midriffs has nothing to do with proper dress for 6-year-old girls, and is intended to prevent “eating disorders.” These ideas are all absurd. They are articulated, by people who hold positions of high honor and trust, with the expectation that the comments will be remembered among a narrow, fanatical audience that happens to like them, and soon be forgotten by everyone else. To the public at large, you can expose what’s ludicrous about these statements, simply by repeating them two or three times. They are not constructed for the purpose of being inspected critically. They are constructed with the explicit expectation that the subject must be changed, irreversibly, entirely, before the last syllable of the statement has echoed off the farthest wall.

And yet, all too often, the effects of these haphazard remarks, are enshrined into public policy. Pretty soon you have candidates for President of the United States, running on platforms that say terrorism is just a “nuisance.” And pretty soon you have teachers and bank managers, being fired because pictures were taken of them wearing bikinis somewhere else, on their personal, private time.

We indulge in “modest” bullshit about why we were late for work; why we aren’t wearing the sweater Grandma gave us for Christmas; that our wives’ asses aren’t fat; being from the Government and being here to help you; that the check is in the mail. But on the subject of dangerous international criminals who would give their very lives to take a few of us down, and on the unrelated subject of good-lookin’ young women in skimpy clothes, logic takes a complete, pure, undiluted, five-star don’t-even-page-me holiday. “Modest” bullshit, on those two subjects, isn’t good enough for us. We wade in neck-deep into triple-A grade, twenty-four-karat, 99+44/100 percent pure platinum bullshit. We use this high-grade quality bullshit, it seems, on no other subject save for those two…and on those two subjects, we haul it out with a reliability and with a punctuality we display nowhere else.

So I’m calling this “titties and terrorists.” The subject of titties comes up, and the subject of terrorism comes up. And, before you wait too long, people are lending their good names to complete and utter bullshit — not utility-grade bullshit, but the premium, ultra-high-Nitrogen-content bullshit. We can’t have a family-friendly sports bar in my neighborhood, because the waitresses wear little orange shorts. We must pass a global test before we do anything about terrorists. Your wall calendar is oppressing me. “Waterboarding” is torture. The jokes created a hostile work environment. Saddam Hussein was no threat. Women are not for decoration. Blah blah blah…crap, crap, crap. An endless stream of crap dribbling out of people’s mouths. Makes you want to take a shower when you’re done listening to them.

What’s frustrating, is these people are saying these absurd things, which no sane man can possibly believe or find legitimate for even a fraction of a second, to salvage their own reputations, not to ruin them. For the purpose of building their credibility up, not to tear it down. And…can we really fault them? It must work, this process of spewing-crap-to-get-a-good-rep-going. It must work, because if it did not, people wouldn’t keep doing it over and over and over again.

Courtesy of today’s Best of the Web, we have a fascinating tidbit about an anti-war dove, Philip Slater, departing the plane not only of common-sense, but of reality. Ironically, he wants to “Get Real About Atrocities,” and then he proceeds to do anything but.

Perhaps the reason Americans seem so comfortable about bombing and invading little countries around the world is that the United States, unlike Europe, has never experienced “collateral damage”. If we had ever been bombed and invaded ourselves, had our infrastructure demolished, been subject to foreign soldiers breaking into our homes at night, seen our children slaughtered and our houses destroyed, we would be, I suspect, less gung-ho about war and less cavalier about inflicting these horrors on other people.

Now I have to ask: What is going on in Philip Slater’s head? Did he think James Taranto wouldn’t be picking this up and running with it?

There’s a giant leftist movement going on, which seeks not only to enshrine and codify a leftist agenda into law, but to deny reality. It seeks to offer solutions to problems, life-threatening problems at that, by prevailing upon the public-at-large to stop thinking about the problems.

They must be opposed. They must be defeated. The survival of our country may very well depend on it. Even if you buy into the idea that terrorists are soft, cuddly and harmless…and many do, and you have to deny a lot of reality just to get to that point…it’s quite another thing to say that said terrorists can be safely ignored for years at a time.

We have been attacked. Liberalism, as we know it today, eventually prevails on even a fairly capable mind, to come to the conclusion this never took place. It’s dangerous stuff.

Update 7/1/06: Since this one post is receiving unusually high visibility across the “innernets,” I feel it appropriate to give credit for the cartoon with actual fanfare, rather than with the modest HTML link behind it I usually provide. If you click the image you will be taken to the website of Cox and Forkum, whose wonderful work is a must-see for whoever may not already be so acquainted. Do take the time to check them out.

Welcome Pajamas Media fans.

linked on pajamasmedia.com
- Gerard | 07/01/2006 @ 07:55
Congrats! Great post!
- Good Lieutenant | 07/01/2006 @ 08:04
Thanks for reminding us that these and similar outcries are not only lies, they are illogical lies meant for the stupid. For example, Bush, the yellow-belly, hid from danger in the cockpit of a fighter plane.
- Slidestreet | 07/01/2006 @ 12:11
world is that the United States, unlike Europe, has never experienced “collateral damage”. If we had ever been bombed and invaded ourselves, had our infrastructure demolished, been subject to foreign soldiers breaking into our homes at night, seen our children slaughtered and our houses destroyed, we would be, I suspect, less gung-ho about war and less cavalier about inflicting these horrors on other people.

It’s my guess the lack of “collateral damage” in America may have very much to do with the fact that people know that we are capable and wiling to inflict said damage on the country — or nowadays “organization” that may be contemplating such an attack.

Of course, the difference between the Soviets and the Islamists is that the Islamists not only don’t care about dying (72 virgins and all), they’re quite cavalier about ducking and hiding among people who just might not be so gun-ho about dying.

And I’d like to line up all of the SOB’s who spout that America is cavalier about killing civilians and ‘cavalierly’ slap all of their silly faces one way and then the other. The fact that we are willing to stick out our necks and do dirty work we’d rather not do does not mean we do it for fun or on a whim. We, including “W”, would all love it if we could just kill the bad guys. But it don’t work that way, especially for these particular bad guys.

And, for the record, “gun-ho” is the ONLY way to fight a war.
- Phil | 07/26/2006 @ 14:41
[…] Hello good people of 2005! I’m from the future. Democrats are blaming George Bush for hurricanes. Yes. They really, truly are. Hello 2004! George Bush is thought by many to be the most “hated” President ever, and it looks like he is, even though he’s won more popular votes than any President in history. […]
- House of Eratosthenes | 07/05/2007 @ 20:53

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On Titties and TerroristsThursday, June 29th, 2006

On Titties and Terrorists
Thursday, June 29th, 2006