House of Eratosthenes

What will the headlines reveal in the next 12 months and what do culture-making women think will happen in 2009? We’ve got your political and cultural predictions…

Blogger friend Cassy is in there, as is Dr. Melissa, and others. But we think the “Sure to come true, to the point that the prediction isn’t even going out on a limb anymore” award would have to go to Michelle Malkin —

Michelle Obama will say something obnoxious and conservatives who dare to criticize her will be accused of racism/sexism. A trillion-dollar stimulus plan will pass with bipartisan support and will — like every other government intervention over the last year — fail to “rescue” America from economic pain.

Now, we’re a dude here. So we weren’t asked. But we prefer to rely on science rather than on mystics for our predictions, which means to remove the guesswork by looking at history. It’s pretty well established by now if you look at the municipalities. Cities put left-wingers in charge of every li’l thing, and from then on everything that can be a problem, is one. The newspapers and electronic media within that city do their part by presenting every screw-up as a “challenge” that their “leaders” are now “facing.”

Kind of like the September 11 attacks really did represent a challenge being faced by George Bush, but that was presented as a Bush Administration f*ck-up. Yeah, exactly like that. Except backwards. Seeing cause-and-effect where there is little or none, and then, not seeing it, where it’s plainly there.

Don't Blame Me It’s already happening. The Annointed One told Joe the Plumber that He wanted to spread the wealth around; He won the election; the stock market, of course, tumbled immediately because what else was it going to do? Now it’s a problem that He is going to face with His Holy Youthful Visage and His Divine Courage. The reality is that He already faced it.

Just think Seattle. Or San Francisco. Even better, think of the Chicago From Whence He Comes. The most mundane, everyday problems are like the Cuban Missile Crisis, demanding such steely resolve from He Who Is To Deliver Us. Nobody calls anything a mistake, or a gaffe, or a screw-up or a boondoggle, unless the thing being discussed is a holdover from a Republican administration.

Meanwhile, everything that’s busted, is. Everything that is, stays that way.

Can’t blame Republicans. There aren’t any.

Exceptions to that rule? There could be some. I don’t recall any during Jimmy Carter’s time in office.

Oh, and we definitely will have the stimulus plan. Bill Clinton had one. The economy didn’t turn around until Newt Gingrich’s fellas got in there, not that you’ll read about that in the papers.

Melissa says “Higher birth rate to those who don’t have enough money.” Yup, that’ll happen too…part of a “Twentieth Century Motor Company” paradigm that’ll fall over the nation, as need becomes the coin of the realm. The cities that are hungriest for headlines, will start new “magnet” social programs to bring in the homeless, and be sure and train those TV cameras on them. Had we just sworn in a Republican President, this would be evidence that homelessness is on the rise, but instead we’ll see it presented as a holdover Bush problem with which The Chosen One must heroically grapple.

Lots of photo ops. Lots of big, broad toothy smiles, on the faces of democrat politicians posing for cameras. You really won’t see that much smiling anywhere else.

Cassy predicts severe buyers’ remorse for the Obama voters. She’s probably right, but you’ll never read about it except in crazy, wild-eyed right-wing blogs like this one.

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More Predictions, From the GirlsFriday, January 2nd, 2009

More Predictions, From the Girls
Friday, January 2nd, 2009