House of Eratosthenes

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had this weird itch between my ears. It perks up when people drop names behind some opinion I find dubious, as in, “Bob Smith says the best way to get red wine out of a silk blouse is with a bottle of bleach and a brillo pad,” with no qualifiers whatsoever after Bob’s name, like I’m just supposed to automatically know who he is. Anybody who’s even somewhat seasoned at reading news, knows what I’m talking about. Especially when that same article will qualify something else that doesn’t need qualifying, unless the anticipated readership has been living in a cave somewhere. “George Bush, President of the United States, may have been referring to an incident in late 2001 in which planes were flown into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and a remote field in Pennsylvania.” Like, that which shouldn’t need qualifiers, gets ’em, and that which really should get them, is perceived to not need them. Just plain weird. Makes me want to do more digging.

Said itch-between-ears has yielded some fruit on occasion, like when I learned all about the career of Robert “Quoteboy” Thompson. The guy just makes his living being quoted.

So anyhow, my curiosity was aroused when I was reading about Mel Gibson. Gibson was busted for driving with a BAC of .12 last I heard, and sometime today the DA is supposed to figure out whether or not to pursue charges. Oh, Mel Gibson has starred in Lethal Weapon and Mad Max, and is the director of such fine films as…well, y’know. Anyway, Mel gets busted. And he starts babbling away about how his life is fucked, all the wars are the jews’ fault, etc. Gibson has since apologized.

Now for the record, if I was a movie guy and I was Jewish, and I had been working with Gibson, I would find it personally difficult to ever do so again. And yet, once again, here is the scoreboard: Movie People Who Say They Can’t Work With Mel Gibson: Zero; Movie People Instructing Other Movie People To Not Be Able To Work With Mel Gibson: One. People telling each other to be offended. Some guy whose name I’m supposed to know. Those two things always get me curious; they got me curious this time, too.

Meanwhile, top film industry agent Ari Emanuel issued a statement on HuffingtonPost.Com in which he called on Hollywood to stop working with Gibson.

“At a time of escalating tensions in the world, the entertainment industry cannot idly stand by and allow Mel Gibson to get away with such tragically inflammatory statements,” he said, adding:

“People in the entertainment community, whether Jew or Gentile, need to demonstrate that they understand how much is at stake in this by professionally shunning Mel Gibson and refusing to work with him, even if it means a sacrifice to their bottom line.” [emphasis mine]

Ol’ Ari. That agent Ari. Top agent. Not just one of them middle agents.

So who is this guy? I looked him up, and I found he seems to be the Courtney Peldon of Hollywood bigwig type people. Not that I have room to talk, mind you, writing for The Blog That Nobody Reads — but then again, nobody’s quoting my comments regarding what should happen to Mel Gibson’s career, and expecting everyone else to know who I am. His Wikipedia entry lists the following accomplishments.

Ariel “Arie” Emanuel is an Israeli-American literary agent at the Endeavor Agency in Beverly Hills, California. Jeremy Piven’s character on the HBO television show Entourage is based on Emanuel.

He is the brother of U.S. Congressman Rahm Emanuel.

Emanuel represents Michael Moore, Mark Wahlberg, and Larry David among other celebrities. [emphasis in original]

But it’s his CV as listed under Internet Movie Database that I find really impressive. Just…damn.

Miscellaneous Crew – filmography
(2000s) (1990s)

1. Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004) (thanks)

2. Mr. Show and the Incredible, Fantastical News Report (1998) (TV) (special thanks)
… aka The Best of Mr. Show: The Incredible, Fantastical News Report (USA: video title)

Filmography as: Miscellaneous Crew, Himself

Himself – filmography

1. “Entourage”
– Pilot (2004) TV Episode (uncredited) …. Himself

Omigosh, that Mel Gibson, star of Lethal Weapon and director of many fine films, was right. His life is really fucked. Look at the Hollywood glitterati just come out a-swingin’ against him. That guy listed as “thanks” in Fahrenheit 9/11 has already come out and said not to work with him. That’s just a freakin’ avalanche. A tidal wave of criticism.

No, based on what has found its way to me here, it seems Ari Emanuel is known for his Huffington Post material. Some twenty-or-so entries in the last ten months.

Ari seems to have a very “European” style of writing: lots of must, ought, should, gotta gotta gotta. Bottom line: Every scintilla of information I can get on this fellow, and it’s not exactly easy pickin’s I can tell you, seems to make his opinion about Gibson less newsworthy than it was left following the scintilla that came before. Ari Emanuel has an opinion about what people must stop doing, well, no shit Sherlock. Ari Emanuel seems to form such opinions six times a day before breakfast.

Now, what about the validity of Mr. Emanuel’s opinion? Don’t know. It would appear he is Jewish, and I’m not, so his opinion there is worth much more than mine. But telling other people what to do based on their feelings?

Eh…why don’t you go piss up a rope, Mr. Emanuel. If I’m a jewish movie producer and I’m personally peeved about what is on Gibson’s police blotter, the last thing I need to help me decide not to work with him anymore, is some Huffington Post piece by some guy I probably don’t even know.

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