House of Eratosthenes

On May 25 I updated the “Things I Know” with #70. Courage has very little to do with being outspoken. It says exactly what it sounds like it says, when you say it out loud. You can be outspoken and courageous, you can be outspoken and cowardly, you can be the strong silent type that is courageous and quiet, or you can be the meek timid type who never says anything because you lack courage. You can be any one of those four. There is no correlation between outspokenness and courage, or in this case, confidence.

Why, then, are there so many people whose courage is complimented so frequently, just because they are outspoken? I don’t know. You will have to ask the people who sing their praises. There is no shortage of such praise-singers.

Karol over at Alarming News writes about an article that…you know what? Let’s go no further until we think up a name. There’s scads of these articles, and they need a name. If you are a straight dude, and you are in a steady relationship or married, you will go way, way, way far out out of your way to keep your better half from reading these articles because the articles are built to make your life miserable. Guys, you know what I mean? Of course you do. They are relationship quizzes, they are articles about “how to tell if he’s cheating on you or thinking of cheating on you” — you know, that kind of crap. You look at these things, and think to yourself “Am I overestimating my own importance? Is someone really writing an article just to inconvenience me?” And the answer is, yes. It really is about making the man unhappy. There is no other explanation. What this has to do with improving circulation is anybody’s guess, but someone who writes articles, or puts them together, wants to slam straight men.

Let’s call these “Castracles.” or “Geldacles.” Or “Misandrycles” or “Amazondricles.” I dunno, these aren’t rolling off the tongue, not quite. Call them something. Let’s get back to that project later.

Anyway, we’ve defined what we’re talking about. So Karol has read one of these things and oh boy, this one’s a doozy. Get a load of this…

Want a man to propose? Be a bitch
Men want strong, self-confident women. In her new book, “Why Men Marry Bitches,” Sherry Argov says women shouldn�t be so nice.

Have you ever wondered what makes a man want to marry a particular woman? Is it about timing? Sex? Money? In her new book, “Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart,” Sherry Argov shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one. She explains that being nice to your man won�t make him more devoted. In her interviews with men, Argov found that men want to commit to women who exude confidence and are in control of their lives. She was invited on “Today” to discuss her book.

Speaking as a straight man in a committed relationship with a strong, confident woman who is nevertheless devoted to me, I have long ago grown weary of these man-bashing women hogging the spotlight as if they have discovered something new. According to Amazon, The Rules came out a good decade ago, and the notion of “make him commit by not being so nice to him” predates that by a good stretch of time, and several other phenomena, as well as I’m guessing a few million dollars in book revenue.

It’s nothing new. Not by a damn sight.

But I have little else to say for myself, let’s instead focus on Karol’s comments.

If I only finish one of the three books I’ve started writing….

….I hope it’s the relationship one. The world needs it.

In an article titled “Want a man to propose? Be a bitch”, this story is relayed:

Kara is a perfect example of why smart, confident women come out on top. Very early on, her fianc� tried to give her his two cents on how she should dress. She was leaving for a meeting, and he told her to wear a dress instead of the pantsuit she had on. Then he told her she was wearing too much makeup. What the nice girl would have done is run out and buy a new wardrobe. But Kara playfully put him in check: “Listen here, Versace. This outfit has always been fine. And I haven’t had any complaints about the makeup either. But if you’d like, I’ll let you know when I’m wearing this in advance. That way, if you don’t want to see me in it, you don’t have to come over.”

Friends, Kara is stupid. She probably was wearing too much make-up and she probably would’ve looked better in a dress. But, regardless. The fact that she completely rejected any suggestion that she is imperfect does NOT speak to her confidence level. Being confident means you won’t crumble and die if you’re wrong about something. Confidence is being able to accept criticism. Her retardo reaction to helpful advice betrays her lack of confidence. This is a woman bred on the idea that everything she does is perfect and any man who thinks otherwise is just a big, fat jerk. Of course, when he leaves her for his secretary who doesn’t unnecessary battle with him, the cry will be that she’s too confident and he just couldn’t handle it– instead of that she’s a nightmare and he wanted to wake up.

Now to be fair, I never developed my seething disgust toward women who worked at making my opinion irrelevant until I had time to realize there was this huge abundance of available ladies out there that were simply unsuitable for me. By the time I came to this belated realization, I was well past the age where I would have been considered a prime specimen, assuming I ever was.

It matters NOT. Avoiding the ladies who marginalize the importance of his opinion to the level of near-nothingness, is what the smart man does. It’s irrelevant that I failed to become smart until I was deep into the age of grayness and flabbiness. It’s still smart. Look, if things work out with the lady and you pledge to spend the rest of your life with her, do you really want to wake up & go to bed with that until it’s time to push up daisies? Your feelings are less important than the feelings of some deranged bum who knocks on the door at three in the morning to defecate on your living room carpet? Every puppy, every kitty, every creepy crawly thing on the planet is more important to your girl than you are?

Screw that. That’s a routine for people who still labor under the assumption that life is one big practice-run.

Hey here’s a question. Is Sherry Argov married? Currently? How many times? For how long? They aren’t separated, are they? Do they actually live together or are they like Bill and Hillary? More to the point, how come nobody seems to be asking stuff like that? I just find it hard to believe, incredibly hard, a proposal can be forthcoming because the lady has proven her adequate bitchiness — would not happen otherwise — and this somehow blossoms into a happy healthy marriage that outlasts both their mortal coils. And here’s another question. What kind of guy are we talking about? Is this some raging asshole? There have been quite a few airheaded women who’ve admitted to being “stuck” on such a fella, and it would seem if this is nothing more than a way to pull those prizes in like a moth to a flame, a little truth-in-advertising would be in order.

Karol, congratulations. If you aren’t making some lucky guy very happy, I’m sure you will soon. You GET IT. That probably means a bunch of other ladies do, too.

I know Karol. She is making her guy very happy. And other guys very jealous.
- Joe | 06/16/2006 @ 11:55

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Karol Is SmartThursday, June 15th, 2006

Karol Is Smart
Thursday, June 15th, 2006