House of Eratosthenes

Every now and then, you’ll hear of one of our society’s more ambitious and progressive social programs defended with anecdotes involving people who’ve worked hard all their lives, who are down on their luck, in trouble through no fault of their own, wanting a hand up not a hand out.

That such people really do exist, is all the more reason to get a case of acid reflux over the story of Theon Johnson. The New Yorker article that describes his tale of…whatever you wanna call it…reads like some bizarre piece of fiction, written between one and four in the morning, by a balding, highly disgruntled conservative-libertarian “gummint’s got no business building fire halls & sidewalks” type. But it isn’t fiction. It’s true.

A Very Late Checkout
New York�s last Katrina evacuees prepare to depart (under duress) from the JFK Airport Holiday Inn.

This winter, FEMA put up over 300 Hurricane Katrina evacuees in New York City hotels. Almost all of them have gone back to their lives, their jobs. But not Theon Johnson. He�s currently sprawled out watching Halloween 5 on one of the two full-size beds in his room at the JFK Airport Holiday Inn. He is one of four evacuees still living in a hotel in the city.

The others left in February and March, when, after spending more than $500 million, FEMA stopped paying for hotel rooms housing some 40,000 evacuees across the country. That left many scrambling for places to live. But thanks to the city�s squatters-rights law, evacuees here were safe. Their rooms weren�t paid for, but since they�d been in them for more than 30 days, the hotels couldn�t just kick them out. Only a judge�s order could evict them.

And Johnson, 49, isn�t that motivated to leave. For one thing, AMC�s in the middle of its “Thrill Me” marathon. Next up, Gothika. “Halle Berry,” he says with lazy lust. These days he�s usually up all night�it�s hard to sleep on an empty stomach. When he has to, he�ll go outside and beg for change, but he doesn�t really like that too much. Most days he just showers and gets back in bed, showers and gets back in bed. Once a week he and another evacuee, a diabetic named Larry, walk to a church off the Van Wyck and get canned goods. When Johnson�s caseworker, Sharon, comes around, she gives him some bus passes and maybe a few bucks, but she�s getting frustrated. “They sit around on their butts watching TV. There�s only but so much I can do if they�re not willing to help themselves.”

After being flown here for free back in September, Johnson�s been at the Holiday Inn since Super Bowl Sunday. On April 21, the hotel served Johnson with three notices of occupancy termination, saying that it would begin court proceedings if he wasn�t out by May 9. He wasn�t, so it did. If the court boots him, Johnson could end up in one of the city�s homeless shelters. He�s been broke for over a month now. FEMA sent him $9,000 in housing aid, but he spent it all on booze, cigarettes, some clothes, and food�partying, mostly. “I spent my money just the way I wanted, and I think [FEMA] should send me some more,” he says. But it won�t. Johnson�s caseworker says fema offered to buy him a ticket home to New Orleans in February, but he didn�t take it. FEMA won�t now. So he�s stuck, at least until the Holiday Inn pays him to leave.

Attorneys with the Legal Aid Society have been negotiating a buyout deal for Johnson and the remaining evacuees, and expect a settlement�he heard about $1,200�imminently. He says he�ll use the money to get a room for a few nights and have some fun before flying back to his little house in New Orleans� Third Ward. But for now, Gothika�s on. “Halle Berry,” Johnson says. “Halle…Berry.”

Holiday Inn. New York City. JFK Airport. The “innernets” tell me, at this date, my “discount” rate for a non-smoking with two double beds is $198 and my “best flexible” rate is $209. (I can’t find a quote for two full beds so I assume it’s the same.) One half of this is $104.50; a third of it would be $69.67. I’ve stayed in some really nice hotel rooms for seventy clams. Actually, I’ve done it and felt terrible about doing it. More than once, I’ve drifted off to sleep thinking I should have been spending $50 or less, after all, I’m just sleeping here.

I would presume the White House and the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA would love to find a few more ways to reassure us that the next natural disaster will be handled better. I would presume Congress would like to find a few ways to provide better oversight to the process. And FEMA, I would presume, would like to find some ways to make the process less embarrassing, and a little cheaper. Furthermore, it is abundantly clear to me, Democrats would like to find some issues for this year’s midterm elections, something along the lines of the whole fiscal responsibility angle.

To all of the above…hello…hello?

I wonder how many of the forementioned hard-working people down on their luck, would just love to have a Motel 6 out in Oklahoma somewhere, provided by a compassionate government for a fraction of the price of a Holiday Inn in New York City. With Gothika playing on the boob tube.

It bears repeating. Irresponsibility is not compassion. It just isn’t.

Unfreakingbelievable!!! I would have commented, here, much sooner, had I of known… Thanks to the Rottweiler for sending me here!

I wrote this letter to CNSNews.com, it was published on 2/24/06:

�It�s about time! Let the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation pay for the hotel rooms, or Rev. Jesse Jackson, or rapper Kanye West! No matter how much is done for some people, it will never be enough. Sympathy was extended � deservedly � given the enormity of devastation. With so many homes, possessions, businesses, and livelihoods lost, assistance was truly necessary and warranted. But, enough is enough. Others have been in like situations. They have lost jobs, had their homes repossessed, gone without a vehicle � similar circumstances to those experienced by many victims of Hurricane Katrina. Do those �others� get FEMA help? Are the �others� put up in a hotel for months at a time until they too move on and find a job and an apartment? No. Those �others,� at best, might receive some form of unemployment compensation, if they were entitled to it � but little else. Move on � pack up your things, find a place to live, find a job, do whatever it takes just like the rest of us do. It�s called life, and it�s time for y�all to get one!�

Beth T.
Dhahran, Saudi Arabia

It blows my mind that in JUNE there are still some people out there that believe SOMEONE ELSE should be responsible for them! You got how much money from FEMA and spent in on partying?!? No. Ut-uhh. Enough. You not only should be thrown out on your lazy ass into the street, you deserve it! This kind of “crap” incenses me!!!

I’m putting you in my favorites!
- Sabra | 06/09/2006 @ 23:26
the sad thing is that I am from New Orleans. I lost everything and am still struggling in this nightmare of insurance and FEMA. I go to work everyday and have not had as much money as this clown wasted!! I was put out of my New Orleans hotel to sleep in my car in January until I was able to get into my trailer. TO make all oof this worse…the area he lived in…DIDN’T EVEN FLOOD!!!
- queen e | 07/21/2006 @ 12:40
the sad thing is that I am from New Orleans. I lost everything and am still struggling in this nightmare of insurance and FEMA. I go to work everyday and have not had as much money as this clown wasted!! I was put out of my New Orleans hotel to sleep in my car in January until I was able to get into my trailer. TO make all oof this worse…the area he lived in…DIDN’T EVEN FLOOD!!!
- queen e | 07/21/2006 @ 12:40

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Gee, That Worked Out WellMonday, June 5th, 2006

Gee, That Worked Out Well
Monday, June 5th, 2006