Archive for the ‘Quizzes’ Category

I’m A Freedom Crusader

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

How to Win a Fight With a Liberal is the ultimate survival guide for political arguments

My Conservative Identity:

You are a Freedom Crusader, also known as a neoconservative. You believe in taking the fight directly to the enemy, whether it’s terrorists abroad or the liberal terrorist appeasers at home who give them aid and comfort.

Take the quiz at

H/T: Ms. Underestimated.

I Am Perfick

Saturday, December 15th, 2007

I don’t make any mistakes at all. Because to make a mistake you have to get things wrong, and I did everything just write. I got a perfick score, so anybody who disagrees with me about anything is wrong and I half to be rite. C?

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct.

It’s pretty obvious that you don’t make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you’re annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they’re only human.
And it’s humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

H/T: Buck.

Fixing Dr. Phil’s Test

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

Received this in the e-mail a few days ago. It was not the first time I saw this, and it’s always interesting to run through it.

Below is Dr. Phil’s test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah – she got a 38.) …This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It’s only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question.

Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to friends/family, and also send it to the person who sent this to you. Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box.

Ready?? Begin.

1. When do you feel your best?

a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk…

a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you.

a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with..

a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with…

a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you…

a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You’re working very hard, concentrating hard, and you’re interrupted…

a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?

A) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are…

a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are…

a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant


1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e ) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 ( c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. ( a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS : Others see you as someone they should “handle with care.” You’re seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don’t always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who’s quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who take s chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you re alize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS : People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn’t want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don’t exist. Some people think you’ re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren’t.

I found it consistent with what little I know of Dr. Phil’s methods, but it struck me as suspicious that “Dr. Phil’s Test” was not associated with the Great Doctor with much greater visibility. Why would the protege of Oprah rely on the e-mail to carry his wonderful test to the four winds, when he already had “Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today” already using it?

Since this had nothing to do with Al Gore, I decided the great oracle that is Snopes would be able to dispense a reasonable and well-researched answer. I consider David and Barbara Mikkelson to have very reasonable opinions about pretty much everything that isn’t Al Gore. Plus, by this point they’ve written up just about everything. I thought I might find this test at their site. I was right.

Although popular psychologist Dr. Phillip C. McGraw (better known to millions of television viewers as “Dr. Phil”) has appeared as a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show many times over the last several years and now hosts his own nationally syndicated TV show, we don’t find any evidence (by reviewing program listings and transcripts) that he ever offered the test shown above on either program.
The best way to regard this test is to consider it similar to a horoscope or a fortune cookie: all of them make broad, general predictions which seemingly apply to a great many people. The skeptical dismiss such predictions as random shots which occasionally hit their marks (in the same way that a stopped clock is still right twice a day); the credulous marvel over their accuracy, find ways to make the results apply to themselves, and overlook the parts that don’t fit.

Well, I’m skeptical and I didn’t even get that far because I found the test to be inaccurate. I scored a 43, which means people are supposed to see me as “fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head.” Well, people don’t say I’m fresh, they say I talk like Eeyore the Donkey. Nobody thinks I’m lively or charming. People complain constantly that if they ask me what time it is I’ll tell ’em how to build a damn watch, so I think we can dismiss amusing and interesting, and I’m not very sure at all about practical. “Constantly at the center of attention” is something we can safely out-and-out dismiss as a fortune coookie that should’ve gone to someone else.

When it comes time to vote on who is least well-balanced, I’ve got my share of trophies to line the wall.

But I become more jaundiced about this test when I read through the other categories and evaluated what other scores, higher and lower, are supposed to mean. It is, plainly, a one-dimensional test, capturing gradients along a single axis of some personality attribute. And it seems to me that attribute is kind of a messy hodge-podge of being extraverted, being energetic and being capable.

Now, I don’t have the background to properly design a test like this scientifically, but it should be noted “science” has very little to do with such tests. If you want to do it the “right” way, if “the science has settled” on anything it has settled on the MMPI, or Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. My one criticism of the MMPI is that it is a poor specimen of what we call science, or rather, what we are supposed to be calling science. It can’t really be criticized. Unlike this e-mail parlor-trick personality test, the MMPI runs around with it’s guts all covered up by opaque skin. I don’t know how it works and you probably don’t either. These computations are kept in a “black box,” supposedly to preserve the integrity of the test — if it was widely understood how the MMPI worked, it could be all bolloxed up somehow.

That very well may be true. But it’s the opposite of what we are supposed to be calling “science.” So there it is: If one is to evaluate our current state of technology with personality tests based on the MMPI, according to the classical definition of science, one would have to conclude the current state is, for all practical purposes, at zero. We got this nifty thing we’re supposed to presume works really well, but we have no reason to think so and we’re not allowed to get hold of the information we’d need to conclude such a thing.

So I thought I’d jump in and fix it all. Introducing the Morgan Freeberg Personality Test.

Yet More Quiz Results

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

I must have taken dozens of these over the years. One of my projects is to gather all the results and put them into a WordPress page. I haven’t even figured out how to get started on that just yet…but anyway…

You Have A Type A+ Personality

You’re driven to succeed every single second of the day
And you don’t let up on your goals, no matter how tired you are
You’ve already acheived a lot in your life… but it’s not enough for you

Always on the go, you tend to get things done quickly and effectively
You have the personality to be a successful enterpreneur
Just remember to play a little too, even if play is the most difficult thing for you!

You Are 55% Left Brained, 45% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you’re left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you’re right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

I Am Milk

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

Which bodily discharge are you?

You’re milk. You are creamy and tantalizing, and very nurturing. You are not always present, and you make people work in order to reach you. You are private and won’t let just anyone take a sip. You slosh around and never seem take any true form…Find some direction in your life, milky man!
Take this quiz!

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…and another thing, I am from Saturn.

You Are From Saturn

You’re steady, organized, and determined to achieve your dreams.
You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones).
You’ll likely reach the top. And when you do, you’ll be honorable and responsible.
Focus on happiness. Don’t let your goals distract you from fun!
Don’t be too set in your ways, and you’ll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of.

H/T to Miss Cellania for that planet one. I think. If memory serves.

I’m Only 50% Socially Permissive

Friday, January 26th, 2007

You are a

Social Moderate
(50% permissive)

and an…

Economic Conservative
(71% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Oh, and my political ideology is…

What is your political ideology?

Your Result: Conservative

This quiz has categorised you as a Conservative. You believe in a limited/minimal role in the government to solve social problems, and instead believe economic growth is paramount. It is possible you may identify with the “religious right” as well.

Fascist/Radical Right
Social Democrat
Communist/Radical Left
What is your political ideology?
Make Your Own Quiz

I consider it a tragedy of dire consequence how “liberal” and “conservative” are being re-defined nowadays, and it’s stunning how lukewarm your ideas can be before you’re called the latter. Just thinking for yourself about what’s admirable, what’s depraved, what is & is not your business…that’s plenty enough to get ‘er done. That’s the C-word.

How do I go about being called a liberal? It seems to take more and more with each passing year. Acting as if the 9/11 attacks never happened, inventing brand-new civil rights for terrorists that never existed for anyone else before, screaming and yelling to have the “rich” taxed more and more, violating the constitutionally-guaranteed right to own guns all over the place — these things are “centrist” now. Treating Thomas Jefferson as some kind of modern Messiah when the discussion is separation of church and state, only to smear and sneer about Sally Hemmings when the subject changes to states’ rights. All this is regarded as middle-o-the-road stuff. Pretty sad, really.

My Leanings

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

You Are 64% Republican

You have a good deal of elephant running through your blood, and you’re proud to be conservative.
You don’t fit every Republican stereotype, but you definitely belong in the Republican party.

You Are 0% Democrat

If you have anything in common with the Democrat party, it’s by sheer chance.
You’re a staunch conservative, and nothing is going to change that!

You Are a “Don’t Tread On Me” Libertarian

You distrust the government, are fiercely independent, and don’t belong in either party.
Religion and politics should never mix, in your opinion… and you feel opressed by both.
You don’t want the government to cramp your self made style. Or anyone else’s for that matter.
You’re proud to say that you’re pro-choice on absolutely everything!