House of Eratosthenes

Back in May, I came up with a poll I’d like to see. Now, I don’t know why none of the poll-makers, not even one, have taken the hint and put out an actual poll with some of my questions on it. The polls we do see just ask the same questions over and over again, and most of those have to do with the approval ratings of some guy who’s going to stop being President in about 28 months. The irrelevance is striking, but the lack of creativity is even moreso. So it seems, to me, the pollsters would have done well to steal a few of my questions for their polls, just to keep the polls fresh and fun, if for no other reason. But I don’t want to tell them how to do their jobs.

Well it seems every time former President Jimmy Carter opens his mouth, not that I have long to wait for that to happen — he gives me more ideas for a poll I’d like to see. Now in all fairness to Jimmy, you do realize, don’t you, that he’s quite a long way from whistling in the wilderness on this stuff right? We have a lot of people who think his points about President Bush and Prime Minister Blair are right on the money. So far as I can tell, all of these people, or nearly all of them, were born sometime after we fired Carter because we couldn’t stand his policies anymore. But they’re old enough to vote now. Yeah, that’s how old you and I are, if you can remember what a terrible President he was.

Here’s something even more impressive: I have yet to hear — once! — a statement to the effect of “Former President Carter is right and the current administration needs to listen to him, because if we don’t do as he says, we have no hope of achieving the wonderful results Jimmy Carter did like for example…” I haven’t heard that one time yet. Not even in reference to the Camp David accords.

Yet Carter blabs away about what he doesn’t like. Toward what end, nobody knows; even his most ardent fans, seem unable to articulate what goals are to be reached, if we expunge our national policies of all that is offensive to him.

So here is a poll I’d like to see.

It would be more useful than handicapping a President who is going to have the same status as Jimmy Carter 875 days from now, I think. A lot more useful.

Whereas other former United States Presidents have kept their silence on national policy for purposes of civility and decorum, Jimmy Carter has been an outspoken critic of the current administration. This is a comment on a) Current President George Bush, and his unpopular policies; b) Former President Carter, and his lack of restraint and discretion; c) both; d) neither.

I mean, hey, one man’s opinion is just as legitimate as any other’s. But sometimes the nose-counts say something important about what’s going on in our society. It seems to me that question would highlight something going on. I’d really like to know how the percentages stack up. My interest in that question wouldn’t be to influence what’s happening — at least, not completely. I’d really like to see how it shakes out.

What else, what else…well, let’s take a look at some of the things Mr. Carter had to say.

“We’ve never before had an administration that would endorse pre-emptive war – that is a basic policy of going to war against another country even though our own security was not directly threatened,” he said. In his book, President Carter writes: “I have been sorely tempted to launch a military attack on foreigners.” But had he still been president, he says that he would never have considered invading Iraq in 2003.
:
Asked why he thinks Mr Blair has behaved in the way that he has with President Bush’s belligerent regime, Mr Carter said he could only put it down to timidity.

That’s worthy of a poll question right there. Timidity…drives a coalition of nations to launch an attack against a filthy butcher like Saddam. Presumably, if you’ve got some real ballz, you leave the mofo right where he is so he can keep on stirring up trouble, but at least you can brag about having stood up to the big bad George W. Bush.

You know, it occurs to me that if people think the current American “regime” is a “belligerent” one, and most pointedly in comparison to Hussein’s old regime, they can jolly well come out and say so. A lot of people appear to be anxious to do exactly that. But they never quite get around to doing it, nor are they called upon to say that. Let’s have a poll question that asks.

When the Coalition of the Willing took down Saddam Hussein’s old regime, the regime that should have been changed, was the one in a) Iraq b) N. Korea c) Libya d) The United States e) Liberia f) Cuba g) None of the above — stop after Afghanistan h) None of the above — not even Afghanistan i) None of the above — just duct-tape Former President Carter’s mouth shut

Again, I really wanna know. How many people who call themselves Americans would pick d? I mean, really?

And there’s more fresh meat up at the top of the article. Let’s see a poll on this one.

Tony Blair’s lack of leadership and timid subservience to George W Bush lie behind the ongoing crisis in Iraq and the worldwide threat of terrorism, according to the former American president Jimmy Carter.

Former President Jimmy Carter knows the following about how to get rid of terrorism: a) A whole lot b) A fair amount c) Some stuff d) More than me e) Not as much as my plumber f) Not as much as my dog g) Butkus

If Great Britain were to get rid of Tony Blair, with his timid subservience to the Bush administration, worldwide terrorism would do the following: a) Nothing b) Party like it’s 1999 c) Look for a bigger victory somewhere else d) Like a cartoon character, paint a hole in the ground, jump in, and pull the hole in after itself

I mean, I’m trying to give these questions a humorous spin, but when you stop and think about them for a second or two they are deadpan, flat-ass, heart-attack serious questions.

Some folks have deadpan flat-ass heart-attack serious opinions about the answers. But I can’t help noticing, among those, the folks sympathetic to former President Carter’s point-of-view, only advance those answers in settings where there is a social benefit to be realized from doing so. Protest rallies. Move-On-Dot-Org block parties. Left-wing political conventions. I’d like to see them answer a poll, with some of the ideas they have…and then, I’d like to see the poll tabulated.

There is a reason why I want to see this. From my perspective, when Former President Carter opens his big ol’ cakehole, the newsworthiness of the cakehole-opening event is completely invested in the question of how many people agree with him. What Former President Carter thinks…is something I already know. How well it works when it’s translated into policy…I know that too, and I have no desire to see it again. Whether or not we want more of that policy…that was decided in the fall of 1980.

I want America’s Democratic party to take over the U.S. Congress this year, so that a) America stops spending so much money b) America does a better job securing her borders c) America is re-submerged in the baby-killing soldier-spitting toothpaste tube of liberal goodness d) America starts doing things the JIMMY CARTER way e) I don’t want the Democrats to take over the U.S. Congress.

I think that question is the most serious one, right there. And it is pivotal in determining the relevance of Carter’s remarks. If a majority don’t pick d, then he is just one more cantankerous curmudgeon who won’t shut the hell up. Nothing more. Kind of on par with some guy writing posts for The Blog That Nobody Reads…except unlike Carter, I haven’t been fired after my one-term as President quite yet.

Former American President Jimmy Carter is a) concerned; b) foolish; c) diplomatic and tactful; d) dignified; c) partisan; d) jealous; e) grief-stricken; f) filled with rage; g) resentful; h) bored and lonely; i) just wanting some peace, like the rest of us; j) senile. Check at least one but no more than three.

I want to know: For how many of my countrymen does this bitter old fart speak?

Isn’t that what we all want to know?

The courageous soldier promises under oath to “protect the Constitution of the United States from all enemies, both foreign and domestic”

Terrorstorm brings that oath home

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5948263607579389947
- directinfo | 08/29/2006 @ 14:23
Hey, Morgan. Your brain and mine work very much the same way. I look at poll questions it’s very clear why they were written the way they were — so that the numbers could plausibly be interpreted to support the desired argument … the one the pollster wanted to make.

I’m for more detailed polls like yours. 🙂
- Phil | 08/31/2006 @ 12:59

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A Poll I’d Like To See IITuesday, August 29th, 2006

A Poll I’d Like To See II
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006