Archive for June, 2008

Cartoons About Arguing on the Innernets

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Rachel Lucas has posted one that is obviously built to be swiped, and I shall accommodate.

My Better Half confirms with those three magic words…”yup, that’s you.”

Nevertheless, it still doesn’t quite capture the forces at work like this classic animated GIF:

On the other hand, you know what they say about consistency

So I would hope if there’s something consistent about arguin’ on them innernets, it’s the outcome…in which I reliably lay the SMACK down.

But ultimately, isn’t it an improvement that we can interact with each other even we don’t agree? I’m old enough to remember when it was all about a big clunky television set, filled with some old white guy’s face as he told us what to think. You could feel the brain cells dying as you watched it.

Now, we may look silly while we argue with each other…but even to put forth some stupid arguments you must first engage the brain, and therefore keep it alive.

It’s a step up, in my opinion.

And if you don’t agree, I’ll argue with you. Endlessly, stopping only occasionally to yell over my shoulder, “be there in just a minute, dear.”

On the Windfall Profits Tax

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Katy Grimes, who is sidebar resource Fetching Jen…miss her, you’re missing more than you think you are. Wonderful blogger, especially since she’s local — she and I share an area code, but not a zip. Blogging on Townhall, she writes:

While the Senate lost just this morning (51-43) on their attempt to tax “windfall oil profits,” Democrat Rep. Maxine Waters already threatened to “socialize” the oil industry (I think she meant to say “nationalized”). Watch the Fox news clip of Waters actually threatening to take over oil companies (sounds like hugo Chavez) here.

Then there is Dick Durbin demonizing profits: “The oil companies need to know that there is a limit on how much profit they can take in this economy,” said Sen. Richard Durbin of Illinois, the Senate’s No. 2 Democrat, warning that if energy prices are not reined in “we’re going to find ourselves in a deep recession.”

Thank God they lost this vote. What industry will be their target next? Farming is already heavily subsidized, but not yet nationalized. Look out Apple and Microsoft: your “obs[c]ene profits” are a big target.

Brings to mind an old family argument within the generation more senior that I used to witness from the sidelines: The uncle that just died, I vividly remember him asking me in exasperation “What in the world is the matter with your father? Doesn’t he understand that he’s poor?” The incredulous reaction was inspired by my Dad, actually his entire half of the family tree, showing reluctance to support these Roosevelt-progressive “gettin’-even-with’em-ism” programs and policies.

I’ve never exactly been in high cotton, myself; things are a little leaner now, than they have been before. But to me, it seems natural the oil companies should be making higher profits, now, when gasoline is more expensive. Isn’t this to be expected? They’re providing us with a commodity that, both before & after we get our claws on it, we prize more highly than we did before. While they’re bringing it up out of the ground, while they’re trucking it around, during the refinement of it, more things can go wrong when it’s worth more money. By “more” things, I mean a higher dollars’-worth of things…which is the only measurement that really matters.

To say nothing of the fact that when they’re moving it around, they’re burning their very own product. Look closely at a gas tanker sometime. There’s some littler tanks on the side, up by the cab, right? That’s where the diesel fuel goes. The gas in the big tank survives the trip, but the diesel gets burned up moving the gas around. Said diesel gets more expensive when the gas gets more expensive. Duh.

So if things happen to go peachy and there’s a profit to be made…yeah, I expect that would go up. This is why kids put up lemonade stands when it gets hotter outside. When there’s a profit to be made from the selling of it — when we value it more.

One other thing: We’ve quibbled about gas prices and “windfall profits” pretty much every Memorial Day, when there’s a new ceiling being ruptured in the average per-gallon self-serve gas price in the country. We’ve always done this — but not, in my memory, to this kind of intensity. Not this kind of viciousness.

Before Labor Day, I expect the crude oil price might come down again…the gas price probably will not. The snarking from the socialists who call themselves democrats, probably won’t die down even as it overheats the very machinery that is tasked with spewing it at us.

I think we’ll see a meltdown. And that is why I watch this with intense interest.

I mean, how much longer can this go on, where the man in the street is NOT yet saying “waitaminnit…duh…these ‘conservative’ guys, er, that’s a good point. You charge them evil awful oil guys more tax money and this somehow results in me paying a lower price at the pump, how does that work again??”

At some point, that question has to get answered. When enough people are asking about it.

Some clever satire would get that first domino tipping over, wouldn’t it? Like a late night comedy show where some evil oil executive is reviewing the corporate tax bill and saying “Good God! We’d better cut our prices in half so Congress stops making our lives more miserable!” I think that, with a heavy coating of sarcasm, might be all it takes to get the gears turning.

Companies do not reduce prices of their products when their costs go up. And you don’t need an advanced economics degree to get that. Third-grade math is enough.

Thing I Know #230. We’d call them “rationalists” if they thought things through rationally; that’s why they’re called “socialists.”

The Most Commonly Used Passwords

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

So after hitting the “play” button on this slideshow, how long does it take before you let out a Homer Simpson type of “D’Oh!”

H/T: FARK.

The Obamastration Will Be…

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Have I put up enough posts yet that don’t have anything whatsoever to do with what’s-his-name?

I don’t think so…but things keep coming up. He is, after all, the Man of the Hour. What a raging pain in the ass that is. But some of what pops up, isn’t that bad…like most of the stuff from FrankJ, this is too good to miss

Obama has been saying McCain will be Bush’s third term, and McCain has responded by saying Obama will be Carter’s second term. I think that’s a good rebuttal, but maybe there could be more creative analogies for an Obama term.

AN OBAMA PRESIDENCY WILL BE

…another Batman movie by Joel Schumacher.

…the return of New Coke.

…a restaurant that serves nothing but Spam.

……and…many…more…

Except, of course, Batman movies and beverages are relatively harmless. It goes without saying that harmlessness does not apply to Obama, either as a candidate or, horrors, as our new President. We know this to be true. Everyone who would try to convince us otherwise, just indulges in a lot of yelling and name-calling vis a vis President Bush — nothing else.

Incurious

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

This is a look in the rear view mirror. Regarding the post previous, I tripped across a good editorial from 2006 by Jay Ambrose, which notes the lack of curiosity among those who tell us these interesting stories about President Bush’s…drum roll, please…lack of curiosity.

I’ve lost track of the linky navigation but it’s probably something you could re-enact without half trying. I think it when Anchoress, to The Captain, back to the Anchoress again, then out to Mr. Ambrose. Anyway, it’s wonderfully written, supported by facts where it needs to be, and makes a devastating point or two, smacking down on things that have been smacked before but not nearly enough.

The truth is that many of the critics who keep telling us that Bush is incurious are themselves incurious, loath to put their favorite asininities at risk through the exercise of open-minded, honest inquiry. Jonathan Chait of The New Republic argued prior to the list’s release that Bush was too dumb to be president, citing among other things the president’s supposed “disdain for book learnin’.” Had Chait been more inquiring himself _ is he too dumb to write for The New Republic? _ he might have learned that Bush has a thing for books. It was easier to rest his case on some meaningless impressions, sloppy analysis and one-sided evidence.

Once the story was out, Maureen Dowd of The New York Times reacted specifically to the news that Bush had read Albert Camus’ “The Stranger” _ and did so in typical dowdy fashion, shabbily getting in a line wondering if Mad magazine was “tucked inside the … classic of angst,” and telling us how absurd it was that the president would be reading the philosopher of the absurd. Not really. Camus _ who respected the moral possibilities of religious belief though not a believer _ was forever struggling with how you find meaning in the world. In an era in which so many are engaged in such a struggle, it makes sense for a serious president to ponder this novel.

Two years later, the pattern continues…hating Bush is a religion that brooks no heresy or apostasy.

The Phony “Bush Lied” Line

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Anchoress

What a long, strange trip it’s been, and here, some years later, we finally get someone in the press to tell it straight: Bush did not lie.

That someone is Fred Hiatt of the Washington Post, who writes…

Search the Internet for “Bush Lied” products, and you will find sites that offer more than a thousand designs. The basic “Bush Lied, People Died” bumper sticker is only the beginning.

Sen. John D. Rockefeller IV (D-W.Va.), chairman of the Select Committee on Intelligence, set out to provide the official foundation for what has become not only a thriving business but, more important, an article of faith among millions of Americans. And in releasing a committee report Thursday, he claimed to have accomplished his mission, though he did not use the L-word.

“In making the case for war, the administration repeatedly presented intelligence as fact when it was unsubstantiated, contradicted or even nonexistent,” he said.

But dive into Rockefeller’s report, in search of where exactly President Bush lied about what his intelligence agencies were telling him about the threat posed by Saddam Hussein, and you may be surprised by what you find.

On Iraq’s nuclear weapons program? The president’s statements “were generally substantiated by intelligence community estimates.”

On biological weapons, production capability and those infamous mobile laboratories? The president’s statements “were substantiated by intelligence information.”

On chemical weapons, then? “Substantiated by intelligence information.”
:
In the report’s final section, the committee takes issue with Bush’s statements about Saddam Hussein’s intentions and what the future might have held. But was that really a question of misrepresenting intelligence, or was it a question of judgment that politicians are expected to make?

I’ll get to that in a second. But first let’s zoom in on what inspired Anchoress to say “Pinch me, I’m dreaming. Say it with me.”

But the phony “Bush lied” story line distracts from the biggest prewar failure: the fact that so much of the intelligence upon which Bush and Rockefeller and everyone else relied turned out to be tragically, catastrophically wrong.

Yes, how far we’ve come. If you could go back to 1991, nobody there would believe you when you told them we had a new President, who took down Saddam Hussein and got a litany of crap for doing it, weapons-o-mass-destruction or no. And, if you could go back to 2004 and tell ’em our mainstream press used the phrase “phony ‘Bush lied’ story line,” that wouldn’t be believed either.

Hell. That much wouldn’t have been believed last year. It’s kind of a bombshell now.

Fred Hiatt continues:

And it trivializes a double dilemma that President Bill Clinton faced before Bush and that President Obama or McCain may well face after: when to act on a threat in the inevitable absence of perfect intelligence and how to mobilize popular support for such action, if deemed essential for national security, in a democracy that will always, and rightly, be reluctant.

See, this is what I think people are missing. We haven’t put too much thought into why, really, it comes so easily to people to accept that “Bush lied.” There are the defects in integrity and character that wedge them into absurd anti-war dogma, in extreme situations wherein perhaps, as Phil says, “sometimes war IS the answer.” People can go through things, and some of these things make it look like a good idea to oppose war, unconditionally, all the time, and forever. One of those things is — war. Veterans can go through combat, and come away thinking war is so awful, that there must be a better way — always. Understandable, I suppose. But that’s feeling, not thinking. Engaging in it at such a critical decision-juncture is, simply, a mistake. Other people want to look good…and have secrets and other inner demons that persuade them toward the idea that they won’t look that way, until they do something grandiose, costless and perpetual. Like engage in silly war protests. Maybe it’s to convince those around them that they’re good people when they themselves know otherwise…form your own opinion about that.

Other folks engage in the twenty-seventh item among the things I know about people, minus what I was told when a child:

27. People who make a conscious decision not to offer help or defense to someone who needs it, don’t want anyone else to help or defend that person either.

Apart from all that, of course, the timeless cliche is still true: War protests are great places to meet chicks.

These are all reasons why people become stridently anti-war; it isn’t all about being pacifist and cuddly and sweet. But there are less personal reasons. Reasons that have to do with money and not character defects.

The United States is a superpower. Those other countries out there, be they belligerent or no, have their own economies; and all economies thrive in certainty and wither in uncertainty. Our weapons are under lock and key, but our political resolve to use them is not. We can be de-fanged, easily, with our arsenal remaining completely intact.

So Hiatt has hit on the agenda behind the “Phony ‘Bush lied’ line” in which we’ve been buried for these last five or six years, without trying to, perhaps without realizing it. What is a sign-off item of concern to him, has been the primary sense of purpose to others from the very beginning. It is to escalate the political cost paid by future Presidents, now and forevermore, for even thinking about engaging in military aggression. Even for the most entirely valid, sustainable, defensive and non-preemptive reasons.

Being the “big guys,” we are not to do it. We are not to even think about it.

Is the artificial aggravation of such political exigencies…treason? Well, I wonder what the Founding Fathers would have to say about it. Reading over the founding documents, including the Federalist papers (starting with 2 through 5, but there are others), Washington’s Farewell Address, and the Constitution itself, you can’t help but pick up on the concerns they had about anything — anything — discouraging the executive from showing well-placed hostility at the right time and place, so long as it served the national defense. Apparently, they were big fans of Phil.

Those who mold, shape, and direct the anti-war movement draw on anti-war passions; that does not mean they are guided by those passions. They are guided by strategy. They have reasons for gelding America into such a grotesque national and international political status that she never fights, no matter what.

Until all contemplations of war by our legislature, and our executive, look like this…

In this chapter with Iraq, the objective has been to scandalize the preemptive strike.

If that’s been successful, the new doctrine in place is that we can’t raise a hand against the other guy, until we’ve courteously allowed him to get his licks in. I’m sure that looks noble to some, but that doesn’t mean that it is. And it certainly doesn’t serve our nation’s interests.

In fact, it gets us most of the way there, to the “don’t fight ever, no matter what” doctrine. About eighty or ninety percent, give-or-take.

Well, we know now, it wasn’t based on truth, and for the most part wasn’t even based on an attempt to be honest. I wonder if it’s succeeded. Time will tell.

Good Things About Carbon Dioxide

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Another article on Neal’s reading assignment list, that I missed the first go-round. In defense of CO2. Good points…like…

Unlike the many scientists who welcome CO2 for its benefits, many other scientists and most governments believe carbon dioxide to be a dangerous pollutant that must be removed from the atmosphere at all costs. Governments around the world are now enacting massive programs in an effort to remove as much as 80% of the carbon dioxide emissions from the atmosphere.

If these governments are right, they will have done us all a service. If they are wrong, the service could be all ill, with food production dropping world wide, and the countless ecological niches on which living creatures depend stressed. The second order effects could be dire, too. To bolster food production, humans will likely turn to energy intensive manufactured fertilizers, depleting our store of non-renewable resources. Techniques to remove carbon from the atmosphere also sound alarms. Carbon sequestration, a darling of many who would mitigate climate change, could become a top inducer of earthquakes, according to Christian Klose, a geohazards researcher at Columbia University’s Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory. Because the carbon sequestration schemes tend to be located near cities, he notes, carbon-sequestration-caused earthquakes could exact an unusually high toll.

Amazingly, although the risks of action are arguably at least as real as the risks of inaction, Canada and other countries are rushing into Earth-altering carbon schemes with nary a doubt. Environmentalists, who ordinarily would demand a full-fledged environmental assessment before a highway or a power plant can be built, are silent on the need to question proponents or examine alternatives.

Yeah, Affairs Are Good!

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Slut.

Mira Kirshenbaum, who has over 30 years’ experience as a marriage therapist, says the ‘right kind’ of affair can be a positive thing, acting to “jolt people from their inertia”.

The author of When Good People Have Affairs, published this week, argues that because society has so far failed to have a sympathetic discussion of infidelity, the positive sides of cheating have been ignored.

However, she insists that most cheating spouses should never own up, because revealing the infidelity is more damaging than keeping quiet.

“Sometimes an affair can be the best way for the person who has been unfaithful to get the information and impetus to change,” she told The Observer.

“I’m not encouraging affairs, but underlying the complicated mess is a kind of deep and delicate wisdom. It’s an insight that something isn’t working and needs to change.”

Most philanderers are good, kind people, she argues, who are seeking real happiness and love.

Uh, yeah Mira…for themselves. That seems to be a little detail you’re missing.

And after thirty years? Someone’s a little slow on the uptake…can’t help but wonder why.

This isn’t limited to sex and marriage infidelity. It’s a rule that extends to all forms of betrayal. People who counsel others to be more tolerant and understanding of it, have a consistent “blind spot” when it comes to envisioning themselves as the ones betrayed. Do as I say…not as I do.

Ms Kirshenbaum, clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute, a psychotherapy and research centre in Boston, Massachusetts, says her book is not aimed at ‘creeps’ who think they can cheat with impunity, but at decent people who know they have made a mistake.

“These people are suffering terribly and need to be relieved of their sense of guilt and shame because those emotions are paralysing,” she said.

“If handled right, an affair can be therapeutic, give clarity and jolt people from their inertia,” she said.

“You could think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator.”

Sick. All I can do is sputter away in disgust, so I’ll defer to KramericaWallet‘s comments in the FARK thread:

That is wrong on so many levels.

One of them is that it’s ridiculous to:

(a) Say that, after you’ve had an affair, you should not feel guilty about it and see it as positive and therapeutic, while at the same time
(b) Claiming that this is not supposed to encourage people to have affairs.

Come on, if you’re giving an easy way to justify something in retrospect, it’s a de facto way to justify it ahead of time.

Likewise:
Saying that if you have had an affair you must not tell the person you cheated on is simply indulging people’s most selfish impulses. Again, this is both before and after having an affair. If you’ve decided ahead of time that there’s nothing wrong with lying to your spouse about having had an affair and in fact it’s the morally required thing to do, you’ll be a lot less reluctant to have an affair (otherwise, you might not want to do it because you wouldn’t want to the lie to them or feel guilty about lying to them).

The author of When Good People Have Affairs, published this week
On the other hand, you can definitely make some money by selling books to make bad people feel better about themselves. Just make sure their spouses don’t accidentally find this book lying around the house.

Yeah. This.

Why Talk Radio is Racist

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Via Boortz, an interesting observation of an annual gathering of talk radio hosts. There’s some big money in talk radio, but if you think that translates to the players having a good understanding of and respect for market forces…well…your thinking would appear to be in need of a re-think.

The Lighthouse Theater on Manhattan’s upper east side was jammed packed Saturday afternoon for what Talkers magazine’s founder Michael Harrison billed as “the most important session” of the annual gathering of talk show hosts from across the nation.
:
By my estimation there was one conservative, one center-left moderate, and four liberals on the panel. The task was simple: to engage in a discussion of ideas as to how non-dominant voices could be used in the medium of talk radio today.
:
When [Jesse Lee] Peterson invoked that name of [Al] Sharpton and later Jesse Jackson he irritated the remaining two panelists Charles Ethridge a weekend co-host on New York’s KISS-FM, and Coz Carlson WWRL’s morning host also based in New York. Immediately the scene turned into five on one.

Immediately Mr. Ethridge claimed “racism” in the agencies that “buy” black owned stations, and what they are willing to spend as compared to “white” stations. Claiming that the “system” allowed stations who performed better in the ratings to only “earn” .92 for the “earnings” of 1.27 for “white” stations.

Once the panel considers what exactly is to be done about this racism, it gets even more interesting.

Indiana Jones Body Count

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Obama’s Gaffes

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

A couple days ago I had made the observation that Barack Obama and yours truly are opposites in nearly every conceivable way.

I’m going to have to retract that somewhat. I have found something that brings us together.

Reflecting on myself with some humility and honesty, I am forced to confess that I make some mistakes and missteps when I speak in public, too.

H/T: Gateway Pundit, via Ace, via Rick.

Obama On My Shoulder

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

Hah! This is great.

MKH’s final HamNation video before she moves on to greener pastures at DC Examiner.

H/T: Sister Toldjah.

On a related subject…yes, it’s making the rounds. The guy seems to have been reading the archives on Yin and Yang, and drinking deeply from that wellspring. So since he’s repeating my stuff, far be it from me to join the chorus of folks who insist he’s a whack-job.

But it is kind of out there…

Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare. And this why he is so often compared to Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., to those leaders in our culture whose stirring vibrations still resonate throughout our short history.

As I commented to Buck in an offline — the real critical, all-defining question about this, the thing that would have made the delusional ravings look sane, and almost durable, if only it were settled, is — what exactly are these “vibrations”? Forget the specifics. Just clarify whether they occur within the five sense. Is this a worldly vibe, or is it some kind of telepathy?

Can You Say That?There’s a reason this wasn’t clarified. The answer to the question, I think, is yes…the vibes occur within the five senses. If you’re an Obama fan, you can see Obama in person and get that tingle up your leg. You can see him on television and still get it. You switch the TV off — no tingle. There’s nothing telepathic, nothing paranormal, no astral projection, no soul connection. The Obama fans like to pretend there is one. There isn’t.

They’re watching each other for signs determining how to react. The crowd says go for it and so they go for it. It’s how they’ve been living their lives…like bugs.

It begs for an eleventh Yin and Yang installment. I might accommodate, because it’s clear this Morford guy believes strongly in what he’s saying and there are a lot of people who agree with him. (Update: This has been done.) And who knows, maybe they’ll get what they want this year.

I have another important question to ask: Has Mary Katherine Ham successfully parodied something? You have to emulate all the silliness involved in something, and then trot out a few extra steps, in order to accomplish successful parody. Quite a ways to go in this case.

And you know, there’s a dark side to this. I’ve yet to be convinced that the Obamessiah’s place is to reform us buck-toothed xenophobes. His fans give me the impression that the objective will be to package us up, seal the box shut, and get rid of us.

I think all this noise his supporters have been making these past six years, about President Bush “quashing dissent” and “putting a chill on free speech” — has been the purest form of psychological projection. During our buyer’s-remorse phase, we’re going to learn that the hard way.

You read it here first, folks.

And although I’ve been seeing links to Morford all over the place, I think Buck deserves the hat tip. I wonder if hat tips emit carbon? I’m sure once Obama’s sworn in, he’ll lose no time in letting me know.

O-ba-ma…on my shoul-der…dum de dum de dum de dum de dum…

Getting It Good and Hard

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

George F. Will opines some more, this time about gas prices. And the villain he finds, is a rather interesting one. He’s mediocre some of the time, good much more of the time, and excellent occasionally. This one’s excellent.

“Democracy,” said H.L. Mencken, “is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” The common people of New York want [Charles] Schumer to be their senator, so they should pipe down about gasoline prices, which are a predictable consequence of their political choice.
:
Also disqualified from complaining are all voters who sent to Washington senators and representatives who have voted to keep ANWR’s oil in the ground, and who voted to put 85 percent of America’s offshore territory off-limits to drilling. The U.S. Minerals Management Service says that restricted area contains perhaps 86 billion barrels of oil and 420 trillion cubic feet of natural gas — 10 times the oil and 20 times the natural gas Americans use in a year.

Drilling is under way 60 miles off Florida. The drilling is being done by China, in cooperation with Cuba, which is drilling closer to South Florida than U.S. companies are.

ANWR is larger than the combined areas of five states (Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Delaware) and drilling along its coastal plain would be confined to a space one-sixth the size of Washington’s Dulles Airport. Offshore? Hurricanes Katrina and Rita destroyed or damaged hundreds of drilling rigs without causing a large spill. There has not been a significant spill from an offshore U.S. well since 1969. Of the more than 7 billion barrels of oil pumped offshore in the past 25 years, 0.001 percent — that is one-thousandth of 1 percent — has been spilled. Louisiana has more than 3,200 rigs offshore — and a thriving commercial fishing industry.
:
America says to foreign producers: We prefer not to pump our oil, so please pump more of yours, thereby lowering its value, for our benefit. Let it not be said that America has no energy policy.

On an only slightly related topic, birds are building nests on the side of my apartment building. They’re up to somewhere around six nests, going bollywonkers over all the humans that are “invading” these nests…simply by opening doors and walking out of them. I bring this up because there are federal and state laws saying we can’t do anything about it. What we can do is sit around with our thumbs up our butts waiting for them to build a few more nests.

That, and George Will’s comments, inspire me to utter my doleful refrain one more time: When does anyone in any position of authority, ever tell the environmental activist to stick it? Can someone name three examples? I can’t think of one.

It would appear a given environment-related situation can disintegrate into ever-descending depths of dysfunctional mess, and it still won’t happen. I’m glad our standard of living is so sky-high we can afford to be held captive by this. That just tells me a fruit is most ripe right before it starts to rot.

Thanks to the environmentalists, I think we’re just about there.

H/T to Boortz for the Will find.

Rubber Man

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

He fell fifty feet from a third-story balcony. But so relaxed were his muscles, from a plurality of his vices, that he just went…boing

Theo Paget, 20, has been dubbed “rubber band man” by doctors after his miracle escape.

He jumped up and ran off after the fall.

Doctors say he should have died in the third-storey fall – but his muscles were so relaxed from a cocktail of booze and drugs that he absorbed the impact.

Pals and hotel security in Marmaris, Turkey, searched for him for two hours before he strolled back into the lobby complaining of a sore back.

He actually was hurt — diagnosed at the hospital with a spinal fracture — but he didn’t know it. The cocktail took care of that, too.

Cue the Lloyd Bridges references.

H/T: FARK.

Triplets

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

Well, Bubba’s old lady had been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. So, he took her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, “Hey, Bubba! You just had you a son!”

This excited Bubba, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, “Hold on, son! We ain’t finished yet!” The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, “Hey, Bubba! Hey, you got you a daughter!”

Bubba got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor says, “Hold on, we ain’t finished!” The doctor then delivered another boy. He said, “Bubba, you just had another boy! But don’t worry, ’cause that’s it!”

So, Bubba and his wife went home with the three children. When they got home, they sat down and began talking. Bubba said, “Mama, you remember that night that we ran out of Vaseline and had to use that 3-in-1 Oil?”

She said, “Yeah, I do.”

Bubba said, “Well, it’s a good thing we didn’t use no WD-40!”

H/T: Miss Cellania.

She has m-u-c-h more good stuff. If you have not yet made her acquaintance, head on over.

Calling Bob Herbert of the New York Times

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

Columnist Bob Herbert has made a career — a career! — out of the notion that the Republican party wins elections by agitating redneck racists. This much is not surprising to me. There is racism out there; there are also people out there who like to labor under the delusion that Republicans have a monopoly on it. There may not be enough racists to keep a columnist in business, but there are plenty enough among those who sustain the delusion to do exactly that, and with a hunger to constantly read about it.

No, what’s surprising to me, through the years, is how little evidence he’s used to keep this afloat. It comes down to 1) a speech Ronald Reagan gave in Mississippi, which must be interpreted exactly the way Herbert wants it to be; and 2) an interview Lee Atwater gave a college professor, with no other witnesses present. Just those two things.

Why link. Seriously, why bother. It’s what the man does constantly; it’s his business; he has nothing else to offer. You want a link, just watch him and wait awhile. It won’t be long.

Mr. Herbert, call your office. Your finely honed journalistic investigative talents are needed…just not where you expect them to be.

“There have been signals coming out of the Clinton campaign that have racial overtones that indeed disturb me…Frankly, I had a private conversation with a high-ranking person in the campaign … that used a racial line of argument that I found very disconcerting. It was extremely disconcerting given the rank of this person. It was very disturbing.”

The speaker is Congressman Rob Andrews, who challenged Sen. Frank Lautenberg for the democrat primary nomination for Lautenberg’s seat, and lost.

[Andrews] disclosed he received a phone call shortly before the April 22 Pennsylvania primary from a top member of Clinton’s organization and that the caller explicitly discussed a strategy of winning over Jewish voters by exploiting tensions between Jews and African-Americans.

He says he’s speaking up now because “”I didn’t want people to think I was trying to win over Obama supporters in the primary.”

One guy, applying his interpretation to things, saying stuff. Plenty enough for Bob Herbert to discuss, heatedly, for a quarter of a century or more.

When it comes from the right place, anyway. Wonder if he’ll follow up. Heh.

H/T: Ace.

Memo For File LX

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

I was reminded of something Ann Coulter said

Liberals have a preternatural gift for striking a position on the side of treason. You could be talking about Scrabble and they would instantly leap to the anti-American position…Liberals mock Americans who love their country, calling them cowboys, warmongers, religious zealots, and jingoists. By contrast, America’s enemies are called “Uncle Joe,” “Fidel,” “agrarian reformers,” and practitioners of a “religion of peace.” Indeed, Communists and terrorists alike are said to be advocates of “peace.”

Liberals demand that the nation treat enemies like friends and friends like enemies. We must lift sanctions, cancel embargoes, pull out our troops, reason with our adversaries, and absolutely never wage war — unless the French say it’s okay. Any evidence that anyone seeks to harm America is stridently rejected as “no evidence.” Democratic senators, congressmen, and ex-presidents are always popping up in countries hostile to the United States — Cuba, Nicaragua, North Korea, Iraq — hobnobbing with foreign despots who hate America. One year after Osama bin Laden staged a massive assault on America, a Democratic senator was praising bin Laden for his good work in building “day care centers.”
:
Liberals want to be able to attack America without anyone making an issue of it. Patriotism is vitally important — but somehow impossible to measure. Liberals relentlessly oppose the military, the Pledge of Allegiance, the flag, and national defense. But if anyone calls them on it, they say he’s a kook and a nut. Citing the unpatriotic positions of liberals constitutes “McCarthyism.”
:
Only questions about patriotism are disallowed — unless it is to say that liberals are the “real patriots.” Phil Donahue said the “real patriots” were people who aggressively opposed their own country’s war plans: “Are the protesters the real patriots?” It is at least counterintuitive to say that it is more patriotic to attack America than to defend it. Even Donahue couldn’t continue with such absurd logic, and quickly condemned patriotism as “the last refuge of scoundrels,” and warned: “Beware of patriotism.”

This is all much bigger than patriotism, or liberalism. In my time, I’ve learned to be wary of people who take pains to showcase their whatever-it-is-ness. This is really no different than what all those ladies out there say about big penises, and whatever icon manifests them. You know the refrain, I’m sure. The savvy damsel quickly infers that the expensive red car is symbolic not quite so much of a daunting phallic presence, but rather of a need to suggest the existence of one; it is “compensating for something.”

But the job of a lady on the prowl looking for a large serving of trouser meat, is a little more challenging than mine as I seek to avoid liberals who are “real patriots.” The guy with the oversize sneakers, or the expensive watch, or the big fancy car — will blend in somewhat with his competition, by allowing the lady to draw her own inferences about his giftedness. When it comes to the liberals treating their “patriotism” as Freudian projections, they are much more easily contrasted against others because they won’t allow anyone else to come to their own conclusions. The liberal simply is patriotic. As Ann points out, if you even so much as suggest otherwise you are Joe McCarthy.

Funny, isn’t it, how liberals accuse others of being “cowboys.” What does a cowboy do? He drives cattle toward a specific destination, by watching for any critters wandering anywhere else, and then creating a controlled commotion to bully the poor thing back in line. In politics, this is exactly what liberals do….the temptation arises to suggest this is all they do, and that wouldn’t be far from the truth. They allow the rest of us draw whatever conclusions we may, until it’s something contrary to the liberal’s liking — and then they bullcuse us of being…something.

Watch ’em awhile, and it isn’t hard to figure out: What they accuse people of being, really isn’t the point of the exercise, nor is who they’re accusing. The point is to cudgel us into wandering back in line.

Anyway, that’s a bit of a digression. The point here is what inspired me to dredge up that excerpt from Ann’s book. It was not, as you could be forgiven for imagining, the post previous.

I hope Gerard does not take exception to this. He, unlike me, is above throwing around the l-word helter-skelter in Ann Coulter’s well-known style…and he is certainly correct for being above that. There are people who do liberal things who aren’t really liberals. Yes, there are. Call ’em what you will. I call them “future liberals.” But I’m inclined to believe Gerard isn’t going to be nearly as receptive to being associated with Ms. Coulter as, let’s say, I would be.

Be that as it may, I was given cause to think about the book — specifically, this bit about Phil Donahue — late last night as I worked my way through his (reprinted) essay about Judas Iscariot.

We’ve long permitted greater and greater levels of betrayal in our society. We’ve codified them as law, policy and custom as far as the wishes of the individual are concerned. It is no longer sophisticated or fashionable to speak of selfishness as betrayal. That word is so harsh when, after all, we are only speaking of “differing needs,” aren’t we. When the betrayal of others is glossed over with phrases such as “I needed to be me,” or “I needed my space,” or “I needed more money,”or “We were just on different paths,” then the elevation of this disease of the soul from the betrayal of another into the larger realm of treason against all is only a question of degree.

The problem is that shame, a vestigial thing in many shrunken souls, persists, and shame must be driven out of the soul if the secular is to thrive. Both betrayal and treason are still weighted down by a lingering sense of shame within at the same time they are made safe from the onus of blame without. Both are permitted by our cults of personal freedom and “sensible” selfishness, but both are formed of dark matter and not easily expunged from one’s soul no matter how reduced it may have become.
:
Now our traitors to God and Country have found a sheaf of rags that “prove” that the greatest treason was really “all good;” that Judas was really the greatest friend Jesus ever had and was, with a kiss, doing him the greatest favor ever done.

Treason, done with the kiss of “my personal freedom,” proves that you do not really hate your country, you love it. You are, in the final analysis, your country’s best friend. In these “new” old tales about Jesus we read that Judas betrayed the Son of God because Jesus told him to do it. Really? Or did his betrayal come, not from any request that may or may not have been made, but from humanity’s persistant lust to sin freely and without even the thin penalty of remorse? Was this final treason done because this sin had been secretly blessed by God, or for the sheer dark thrill of asserting the self at the expense of life in the light?

“I betrayed my friend, because he gave me the freedom to do so. Feel my love for him.”

“I betrayed my country because it gave me the freedom to do so. Feel my love for it.”

That’s as much teasing as I care to do. You really need to go read it from top to bottom.

I close with a note of irony; I can’t possibly be the only person who has noticed what follows. I remember six and a half years ago, as America’s “goodwill” was being sopped up like an odious discharge of something vile all over a nice clean linoleum floor — when the flag pins began to inspire partisan rancor. Remember that? That’s when the talking points came out. That’s when we started to hear bits and pieces like Mr. Donahue’s, about “real patriots”…always doing non-patriotic things.

Every little thing that would help America, even in tiny, almost insignificant ways, would inspire a debate. And the debate always closed with — you shouldn’t be doing that. It started with wearing a lapel pin to show your pride, and your resolve that we’d get through this. When the attacks were fresh, and through the Anthrax scare, ongoing.

Our liberals said the flag pins were empty symbols. To attach it to my analogy about the guy with the little penis driving an enormous car to suggest the opposite — they bullcused that the flag pins were exactly that, to bully us into taking them off.

It worked.

The irony is, that because it worked…flag pins, today, have meaning that they did not have six and a half years ago. Back then the adornment had an attribute of costlessness; if you wore one, the argument that it meant next-to-nothing had some weight, because you weren’t deprived of any opportunity that would be open to you if you left the pin at home.

Now, that’s different. There’s a handy social club of “No Star Belly Sneeches” who can’t ever be seen with a flag pin. Draw your own conclusions as to why — except they won’t allow you to, of course. You are to regard them as “the real patriots” or else you are a “McCarthyist.” As Gerard points out, they want props for being the greatest friends this country has ever known…while not really doing too much that substantially benefits the country, and indeed, shouting-down and bullying-around anybody they catch doing things that significantly benefit the country.

Poor Obama doesn’t know what to do about it.

I find this reassuring, in it’s own way. With the Republican party’s nomination of a virtual-democrat, and with the democrats’ nomination of the one who arguably is one of the most hardcore-liberal among them if not the most hardcore-liberal…I have found it unavoidable to wonder if perhaps Gerard’s modern-day Judases have achieved majority representation in our electorate.

But if Obama sought to win election based on their votes and their votes alone, there’d be no confusion about what to do, now would there? The man seeks to confuse. This much is undeniable. And not so much of an indictment, really; he is a politician. But politicians obfuscate when they must. It bears a cost for them. And I don’t think Obama has become quite so much like Bill Clinton that he does it for sport…not yet anyway…

Obama knows things I don’t about who’s doing the voting. He should. He pays enough for this kind of knowledge. And he must have some facts that tell him that while Gerard’s Judases are firmly in his camp, their numbers are not quite so high that they’ll put him over the top. They must fall far short of this. There must be data that say the Judases, loud as they may be, number weakly.

America has an enemy. His name is Barack Obama. He seeks to prevail through confusion; confusion that costs him a-plenty.

What do you do when your enemy is forced to do something that costs him a lot? You do what you can to make it even more expensive. Exorbitant. Blisteringly so.

That’s what we need to do now.

Can’t, Can’t, Can’t, Can’t, Can’t, CAN CAN CAN, Can’t, Can’t, Can’t

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Just had a brain fart on Cassy’s blog and you know, it’s a little bit of a threadjack — kinda. The Obamessiah got all tripped up with his opining, in that cute opining way he has…about whether we’re spinning our wheels in Iraq or not.

My threadjacking comes from my habit of taking a thirty-thousand foot view of this stuff. After all…Iraq isn’t the only thing our democrats say is impossible. I’ve noticed they have a lot of scorn and condescension toward anyone who dares to dream of a day when we’ll have so many violent criminals locked up, that the crime rate drops. They don’t like to hear that. Drilling for oil, over here, and finding some so we don’t have to import so much. Slowing down the sexual hunger of your teenager, especially your teenage daughter — I’m not even talking about keeping her a virgin, just putting a little bit of a damper on things. That’s another thing that brings the bile-snot flowing.

Can’t, can’t, can’t.

There’s a flip-side to that coin. Our liberals think we can do a lot of other things; they insist on it. Negotiating with our enemies is a popular favorite. Tearing down jails. Ain’t that a kicker? To the liberal mind, crime will never, ever, ever drop if we fill up the jails…but if we empty them out, it just might go away. Curing AIDS. Ending poverty. Bringing the carbon content of our atmosphere down to………………some level? Do I even need to argue how silly that one is. The planet is dying, but we can save it by slapping a solar panel on our roof and charging our cell phones with some kind of pedal-power Gilligan-bicycle device.

The liberal mind seems to be stubbornly opposed to the idea that anything can be 30%, 40% or 60% possible. No, it’s all or none. Everything’s either absolutely worth doing, and don’t you dare even suggest it’s beyond our ability or you’re some kind of heretic — or else, anybody who so much as makes a noise or two about trying it, is a damned fool. These are the people who brag about being able to comprehend “shades of gray” in things. When they contemplate what’s possible and what isn’t, gray suddenly disappears. It’s all black-and-white.

So here’s one theory. Among others rattling around in my head…

I’m inclined to believe, against my temptations toward the opposite, that I don’t need to argue how silly it is. I think it’s known. To everyone. I think liberals have just as decent a command of the evidence, and how it brings some objectives into the realm of the possible and easy, and pushes other objectives into the perimeter of mounting difficulty — as anybody else.

I think the agenda they have, is rooted in a personality defect. I say this because the agenda manages to achieve consolidation and coherence, without conspiracy. The communication isn’t needed for the coordination, because it’s a natural syndication among the similarly-handicapped. A conspiracy amongst them, to behave this way, would be needed like you need a conspiracy among hip replacement patients to limp. It’s a natural tendency that arises when something else is missing.

The thing that is missing, is true, productive, determination…stamina…grit. These people are suffering from a phobia against declaring things possible that are actually possible — but challenging. If they can switch these things around, that which is possible & that which is not, they get some sense of security. That means things are declared possible, that are not, and things are declared not-possible, that are. This way, they never have to try.

They say something can’t be done — and it can. If they can prevail, they’ll stop anyone else from trying it, and they don’t have to admit they might have been wrong. But there are some complications; maybe they won’t prevail. If they don’t prevail, and someone goes ahead and does it…that’s a little trickier. But they can just say it was a coincidence. We saw it with the end of the Cold War. Reagan didn’t do it, the Soviet Union just starved naturally, it would’ve happened anyway. Heard that one?

See how easy it is?

Conversely, if something is as realistic as a five-legged unicorn, and they declare it CAN be done, there’s safety in that too. They get their kudos for apparently showing such an impressive resolve. Since they don’t really deserve it, they place a premium value on that. But also, they don’t get nailed on the deception. How could they be? You can’t prove a negative…we’ll just be trapped in an infinite loop. Women — come a long way, but they’re not there yet. How many decades has that been going on? Ethnic minority groups of all kinds — same thing. These are things that can’t really be measured, although you can certainly make a convincing act out of pretending to measure them. And so…the President is a democrat, we’re getting closer, the President is a Republican, we’re getting further away. Who’s to dispute that? It’s so handy.

I think, as I look at all these things democrats tell me ABSOLUTELY can’t be done and these other things that absolutely can be done — the ultimate liberal nightmare, is measurable progress. An ongoing project, transparent, visible to all, at which everyone can look and say “Yup, no doubt about it, that sucker’s 43.6 percent of the way done.” Because the pattern seems to be unbroken, to me: When an objective ends up in the “CAN” column on the liberal-democrat ledger, it’s progress is subject to interpretation, and therefore to spin. Even gun-grabbing. Now that we’ve outlawed guns in City X, how many guns are there? Zero. Whoops, this guy just walked into a building and shot thirty people with a H&K 9mm. Number of guns is still zero. Progress…with things liberals tell us can be done…cannot be measured, or is extraordinarily difficult to measure.

We can measure how much carbon is in the atmosphere, given enough resources. But that’s a special case. You’ll notice, there has been very little discussion of how far down it should be brought.

Drilling stateside…that is always in the “Can’t” column. I dare you to find an exception. There’s the caribou, there’s adorable seal pups, some turd-sucking shrimp has to procreate in the vernal pools, we’re not giving the Indians their due because of some territory boundary dispute…and don’t forget the piddly limits to what lies beneath. There’s always that — it’s a constant. Ten or twenty barrels we’ll pull out, and then it’ll be bone-dry. I know it. I are a democrat senator, and I can feel it in my bones.

Defeating Republicans and conservatives — that is always in the “Can” column.

Defeating terrorists — “Can’t.” That’s a constant too.

Getting rid of discrimination: “Can.” That one actually strikes me as fairly normal. Until I remember, discrimination is pretty much whatever a liberal wants it to be. And they’re honor bound to declare on the side of caution. Ninety-nine sane liberals say “this example doesn’t seem to be discrimination” and then one paranoid raving lunatic liberal says “I think it is” — you’ll end up with a hundred liberals that say, yup-siree, that was discrimination right there.

So when it comes to controlling the private thoughts and property of other people — it’s “Can.”

When it comes to upholding law and order — it’s “Can’t.”

Maybe I’m over-thinking this. Maybe they’re just bossy. They do seem to have a strong tendency to meet behind closed doors, figure out what they want everyone else to do, and then tell us whether it’s a “can” or a “can’t.” Maybe that’s why it’s all-or-nothing.

This year, they’re doing a lot of talking about “hope.” I think, deep down, they don’t really have any. Oh, they’ve got hope they’ll win the White House and they’ll keep the Senate. They’ve got lots of hope when they hope things will be done their way. But I think that’s all they have.

It’s a funny thing about real hope. People who don’t have any, don’t want anyone else to have any either.

Sensitivity Training

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Hooters Girls Not Allowed at Belmont

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Not in official attire, anyway.

The skimpy outfits worn by the buxom waitresses would not be considered “proper attire” at the race track and the girls might never make it past officials at the front gate – even though the restaurant chain is one of the jockey’s sponsors.

Women on Belmont Stakes day are encouraged to wear “dresses, skirts or pantsuits” with “no jeans, shorts or abbreviated wear permitted,” the New York Racing Association proclaims on its Web site.

No one at Belmont Park said the women would be banned, but they might want to think twice about their dress code when they head to the track in the morning.

“NYRA has certain restrictions that pertain to proper attire and it is doubtful that the Hooters uniform or outfit would be considered proper attire,” a source said.

I’m not going to go so far as to say pantsuits are obscene…yet. But we’re on our way there. After that Senator Hillary decade, I’ve just about had enough, and if someone did declare them obscene I wouldn’t shed a tear.

What can I say. Blurring the gender divide offends me.

Banning “abbreviated wear” from the race track? I can appreciate the logic. It’s a sport of formality and tradition. Still and even, though, I have to say, even with protocol — strong-arming a sponsor out of showing it’s trademarks at a major event, is a little weird.

Why does this concern me? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Cold beer makes me kinda happy…hot chicken wings make me kinda happy…girls half my age in skimpy clothes, make me kinda happy…all three of them together make me just a little bit more happy.

Being a good, expansive distance away from the nearest person who frowns upon those things — as in, out of eyesight or earshot — that makes me enormously happy. Indescribably.

And it’s a little flummoxing to see the Hooter’s culture mixing it up with the goo-gooders…in whatever form they arrive. Makes me wonder what’s coming next.

H/T: Sports By Brooks.

Operation Overlord’s 64th

Friday, June 6th, 2008

We remember…

How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest of a War Criminal

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Who’s a bigger bunch of dumbasses…these folks at DU

Form a team. We need teams in California, Texas, New York, and Washington, D.C., among other places. Your mission is to locate a war criminal from the list above in a public place, detain them, handcuff them, phone the police, read the criminal their rights and the charges against them, ask them if they have anything to say in response, videotape the arrest and post it online. Your team should include one or more people who can produce an excellent video and be extremely fast in editing and posting it online. Your team should include people capable of physically detaining your war criminal. Your team should ideally include a lawyer. And, of course, people who can read the charges and question the suspect. Everyone on your team should be able to keep a secret while you’re planning your arrest.

…or the famous couple depicted in this film clip linked by commenter Heather, at Rachel Lucas’ blog

Think they’re serious?

Gawd…I hope so.

Update 6/6/08: I desperately want to know how those teams are coming along; but I can only send e-mail to “davidswanson” by registering with DU, and registration with DU is supposed to meet the following terms:

Members are expected to be generally supportive of progressive ideals, and to support Democratic candidates for political office.

I’m going to go ahead and respect that. I do not meet this criteria.

Some of the nobodies who don’t come by to not read The Blog That Nobody Reads, might in fact meet it. Some of you might even be registered. I kinda doubt it…the nobodies tend to be the tolerant, thoughtful type…but who knows.

Someone please drop him a line. It’s clear they want to keep the details in the vest pocket to preserve that…heh…all-important element of surprise. We just want to know how the teams are doing. So that we Bush apologists can be properly cowed and intimidated.

Someone? Pretty please?

Update: Oh. Duh. I see it. david@davidswanson.org of convictbushcheney.org. Step 6, it says it nice and clear.

The request stands; I got a feeling a request from a DU member would hold more water.

We’ll have to keep abreast of this one…

Justice of Peace Sued Over Paddlin’s

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Spankings work through embarrassment and humiliation.

Waitaminnit, waitaminnit, I think a lot of us who should know better, still don’t get that. So I’ll say it again. Spankings work through embarrassment and humiliation.

Oh wait, I think there are still some folks who don’t get that, so I’ll…oh…well, after awhile, there’s really nothing more you can do. Is there? I mean some folks really, really, don’t get it.

A Los Fresnos family is going to court to try to prevent a Cameron County justice of the peace from ordering spankings in his courtroom.

The lawsuit filed Wednesday alleges that Justice of the Peace Gustavo “Gus” Garza told a 14-year-old girl’s stepfather that she would be found guilty of a criminal offense and fined $500 for truancy unless the stepfather spanked her in the courtroom.

The lawsuit filed by Mary Vasquez and her husband, Daniel Zurita, described the paddle provided by Garza as large and heavy and fashioned from a thick piece of lumber.

“The word ‘club’ could be fairly used as a substitute for the word ‘paddle’ here as it appears to be something which may have been cut from a (two-by-four) piece of lumber,” attorney Mark Sossi wrote in the family’s petition. “The paddles provided by the judge are of such heft and weight that an individual striking an animal with one might be reasonably reported for cruelty to an animal.”

In a story for Thursday’s editions of The Brownsville Herald, Garza declined to comment on whether he has people spanked in his courtroom. He also said he had not seen the lawsuit.

The lawsuit asks a state district court to stop the spankings and remove Garza from office.

The family alleges in the lawsuit that Garza told Zurita to strike his stepdaughter repeatedly on the buttocks in open court.

Zurita said he didn’t feel as if he had a choice but to follow the order. When he was through, the judge told him he had not struck the girl hard enough, Zurita said in an affidavit.

Vasquez said she had seen the judge order other public spankings.

“It is unconscionable that a Texas judge would order a parent, much less a step parent, be required to strike a child with such a thing in a Texas courtroom,” the family’s attorney wrote in a footnote on the petition. “It is equally unconscionable that an argument could be made that such an order would fall within the lawful authority of any Texas judge.”

Hey here’s an idea: Don’t skip school. Then you won’t be spanked.

Aw, you see the cultural split here? I’m thinking in terms of cause and effect: IF you skip school, THEN you might get spanked. IF we spank kids who skip school, THEN maybe they’ll stop.

Other people think purely in terms of European style “I think this is deplorable and can I get an amen here?” No cause and effect at all. Oh, except with regard to the Justice of the Peace who’s trying to uphold law and order — IF we sue him THEN we can get him thrown outta office. So I guess they believe in cause and effect too.

But not with regard to bringing reform to the people who need it.

Some would say I should withhold my opinion until I have a chance to get to know the JP a little bit better. Maybe he really is off his rocker. I acknowledge that is a possibility. But going by that logic — why am I supposed to agree that this is “unconscionable” when I haven’t had a chance to meet this girl? Maybe she’s a brat. I know two things about her: 1) She’s a truant; and 2) a Justice of the Peace thought it fitting that she be given a smack-down in his courtroom, for being a truant.

Sounds like a brat to me.

Like I said recently: Where is the shame? We have something very similar to it nowadays, and we’re drowning in what’s similar to it: A fear of being sued over having offended someone else’s sense of decency. That is a similar, close-cousin synthetic blend. But it’s not identical, and it turns out to be a poor substitute — especially when we’re up to our armpits in that fear-of-getting-sued stuff, and completely bone-dry fresh-outta good old fashioned shame.

Shame, as in: Oh my dear f*cking God, I’m in court because this bratty stepchild of mine keeps cutting school, everyone thinks I don’t have what it takes to discipline her and it looks like they’re right.

If I were given dictator-for-a-day powers, and only had a limited amount of time to fix a very few things, that would rank very high on my list. We don’t put too much energy anymore into standing up for what we know is right. We’re too concerned with what we think the other fellow thinks is right. We’re over-Kerryized. We see shades of gray where right & wrong are concerned — that is a good thing when there really are shades of gray involved. But real life very rarely plies us with the gray stuff — most of these dilemmas are simple, are indeed black-and-white.

And our post-modern sense of moral relativism seems, to me, to be serving us very poorly in those far-more-common situations. This isn’t that complicated. Kid’s a brat. Needs a whack. Dish it out, hope for the best, and move on.

(Insert sound of my imaginary tobacco wad hitting the spittoon here.)

Obama/Freeberg Study in Contrasts

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Had a friend ask me how things were going, which is a little awkward because 1) he’s a big ol Obamamaniac who’d just got done crowing about his idol, not too much, but a little bit of counter-teasing was obligatory; 2) he’s a little on the sensitive side, has been known to take offense at innocuous things — I often get the feeling he takes strategic offense at things, hoping to gain advantages by being offended that he otherwise could not…and 3) things are actually going fairly shitty.

So I gave him the obligatory beat-down. Then I stripped everything from his copy that I don’t have the balls to send to him…and stripped everything from the blog copy that I don’t have the balls to post in the blog. But the final product was good enough for both purposes, so into the archives it goes.

You know, it occurs to me that Barack and I are complete opposites in every way.

I’m white. I don’t think that should make a difference at all. I think it would be worth trying, to just treat the races exactly the same, and see what happens.

He’s half-black. His identity, that he prefers, seems to be that of a black guy. He seems to think it makes a huge difference, and that it should make an even bigger difference. In everything.

I have a middle name that is associated with murdering people, so I usually abbreviate it to the letter K.

Barack Obama has a middle name that is associated with murdering people, so he bullies and intimidates people into maintaining a virtual secret that he has one.

I deliver steak.

Obama delivers sizzle.

He’s a lot of fun to watch. People faint when they listen to him.

I’m not fun to watch. I can’t make anyone faint.

Obama believes in the global warming boogeyman, but he flies in jet planes.

I think global warming is a scam. I drive a car that gets 43 miles a gallon on the highway, when I’m not walking or riding my bike.

Obama can’t really do anything. If he does do something, he’ll pretty much emulate whatever “everybody” does when they do it. He will labor toward an outcome that will be pleasing only to an elite, extremist few. But he’ll choose the most ordinary way to do it. Even his most ardent supporters would never dream of maintaining that Obama deserves some kind of trademark on the way he’s doing it…and that seems to be the point. He’s one of these extraordinarily ordinary guys.

I can do things. When people ask me to do things, they’re usually things others have tried to do, and haven’t been able to do…and I deliver, because I come up with a way to do it that is different from all the other ways that have been tried, and have failed. And my results are pleasing to everybody, save for those who had practical reasons for wanting me to fail. When I’m called upon to do things exactly the way someone else would do them, I’m a pretty consistent disappointment.

I have always “fallen” into jobs by accident. Once I have those jobs, people don’t want me to leave.

People who want Obama to get the job he’s about to get, are very deliberate about it. You can tell this because they say things like “I want to be part of this.” To predict how much we’ll be wanting him to hang around once he’s got that job, I guess we should review history and look at…President Jimmy Carter. Gyah. Poor bastard will be lucky not to be tarred and feathered.

I invest a lot of personal pride — and shame — in the results of a project when I’m in charge of it. I feel a little bit awkward when people thank me just for doing my job, especially if it’s the emotional, jubilant kind of thank you for preventing some huge disaster…which seems to be the kind I usually get.

Obama talks a lot about plans that have been tried before, that have never worked out very well for anybody. He doesn’t seem to take much pride in anything, save for how happy people are and how loudly they cheer when he tells them things. And when that happens, he doesn’t behave awkwardly at all. He behaves almost as if it’s his entire reason for existing.

My head is crammed full of trivia that people find somewhat interesting, when & if they’re exceptionally bored. I can recite all the Chief Justices of the Supreme Court, all the Presidents, as well as the years they served and the issues of the day with which their administrations had to wrestle. And Henry VIII’s family history, through the Houses of York and Lancaster, with dates of birth, marriage and death, from heart.

Barack Obama thinks there are 57 states.

When I tell people things, their faces show an expression that is one of bewilderment and confusion. Their confusion confuses me, because I answered the question they asked, exactly as they asked it.

When Barack Obama tells people things, they faint out of exuberance and excitement, even though he didn’t say anything of substance at all.

We both have ears that stick way out from the sides of our heads, like bookshelves. Somehow, his make him look more charismatic. Mine just look dopey.

I’m put in charge of things that require structure, disassembly, re-assembly. I’m a little Spock-like in the way I work. Feelings don’t have much to do with it.

Obama is put in charge of things that require more love and less hate. Tearing things apart and putting them back together doesn’t seem to have a lot to do with it.

Obama goes to church. I don’t. He hates people…or at least his friend does…and his other friend…and his other friend…and his wife. I don’t.

I can wear a flag pin. I guess Obama must have some friends who would get upset with him if he did that.

Amy G and her Kazoo

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Is it safe for work?

Ah…y’know…anything I say is going to be subject to legitimate challenge. Even “there’s no definite answer to that” would be subject to legitimate challenge. Use your discretion.

There. You’ve been warned.

Good Drama Makes for Poor Policy

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

We have yet another super-creative entertainment type with deplorable judgment in politics. This time, it’s a guy with some real talent, and a penchant for thinking outside of the box and making it pay off…really, really big

George Lucas has created legendary film heroes like Luke Skywalker and Indiana Jones, but the US director says that in real life, his hero is Barack Obama.

Lucas was in Japan on Wednesday to promote his latest film, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” as Obama clinched the Democratic Party’s nomination for president.

“We have a hero in the making back in the United States today because we have a new candidate for president of the United States, Barack Obama,” Lucas said when asked who his childhood heroes were.

Obama, “for all of us that have dreams and hope, is a hero,” Lucas said.

Not all, George. Not all.

Some of us have the wisdom to sit back and say “well, that’s nice” when we’re promised things…and elevate those who promise up on the pedestal of heroism upon delivery.

If you’re not in our crowd — well, what can I say. I think we’ve just had it played out right in front of our eyeballs, exactly how Jar Jar Binks came to be.

Yoosa hassa fallen from a great height-sa, sir.

Revealing Billboard

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Trouble is, people nowadays have no sense of shame.

And no, I’m not talking about the people who put up the billboard. I’m talking about the people who complain about it. You go on television, and say it so everyone can see who you are, that you think it’s a problem you’re “forced” to look at the billboard.

Meanwhile, Obama says if you care about gun rights you’re clingy. Where’s the outrage?

I just don’t get it. I just don’t understand. Really.

Finally, A Solution to Global Warming

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Via Bookworm.

Like Underpants Without Cling-Free

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Twenty-five funniest analogies from high school essays, from Writing English.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
:
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
:
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
:
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

This blogger has been known to grasp for similes, metaphors, nouns and adjectives…much more awkwardly and much more frequently than his readers would expect (I hope). So in consideration of self-interest and good old-fashioned humility, if nothing else, I counsel restraint.

But great googly moogly, those are funny.

H/T: Bookworm.

Yet Another Atlas Shrugged Update

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

After two or three years writing about it, I feel like an ass even watching it let alone writing about it some more. The updates are so sparse and low-key, and it’s like half a year before I even become aware of them. Not exactly cutting-edge stuff.

Anyway, some other guy is going to play John Galt, and it’s not Brad Pitt. Good. They gots themselves a pretty picture…

I still say — Kristin Kreuk for Dagny Taggart, Mel Gibson for Hank Rearden. Because a yawning obscene age difference is a good thing. Kristin could pass for 35, and she looks like she knows something you don’t. And would melt you like the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz, if you saw her in a business suit with librarian glasses. Mel can pull off the “absurdly rich guy who got his start in the coal mines” look better than anyone, not so much because of his acting ability — which is considerable — but because it isn’t that much of a stretch.

What really nails it shut for me, in my mind, about Kreuk is that although she’s young, I could spend five hours watching her try to figure something out, and fail, and not jump to the conclusion that she’s some kind of a dimwit. That’s a tough act. I don’t think Angelina Jolie can pull it off. Mixed in with that, is the feeling that Dagny knows what is happening to the world around her and is just afraid to admit it because she finds the thought to be opprobrious. That, too, is a role I think Kreuk can fill, that Jolie can’t.

Guy Pearce is on my list to play James Taggart. He’s just kind of…sneaky. He looks like he could fool people into trusting him.

Thirty-seven is the minimum age for the Atlas Shrugged characters. Hollywood likes to define that same age as a ceiling. If they do that here, it will ruin the movie. Dagny should be the only one who looks under 45.

And of course, everyone’s childless.

Atlas Shrugged producers, you need any other tips or bits of advice, you give me a call.

Update 6/5/08: Over on JamesBondWiki we were debating the merits of an American Bond, an idea to which I’m emphatically opposed. James Denton‘s name came up. I happen to like Denton because he’s a genuinely good actor, he’s supposed to make the ladies happy, and he’s older than me. This is something I find reassuring.

And dang, that guy’s got Hank Rearden written all over him.

I’ve been aware for a long time, that besides the marginal possibility that Hollywood will ignore my Atlas Shrugged fantasy casting list — there’s always that — Mel Gibson has demons, and he’d still be getting a little long in the tooth even if he didn’t have ’em. Denton would be great. I can see him in a tense standoff with Dr. Ferris in his palatial yet spartan office at the steel mill, and I can see him slaving away in a quarry or a coal mine.

Can’t see him delivering a two thousand word monologue when Dagny is (spoiler — highlight with your mouse to read) dumping his sorry ass. But that’s a problem that’ll have to be worked out no matter who lands the role. You know — I’m inclined to think that’s one of the bits that’ll be shaved down.