Hooters Revisited

Form whatever opinion from this that you will. Hooters, which is under more-or-less constant surveillance here at the blog that nobody reads, is shutting down the airline. Thereby, in the minds of some, admitting defeat…but it’s also opening a hotel/casino in the heart of Las Vegas.

The potent combo of gambling, booze and bosoms is no stranger to Las Vegas. Now comes the Hooters Casino Hotel (yes, that Hooters), which opened Feb. 2 in the shell of the old San Remo resort, about a block off the Strip. We wondered: Hooters may make a mean chicken wing, but does it know how to run a hotel?

We spent a recent Friday night in one of Hooters’ 696 rooms (679 standard with 17 suites). After initially quoting a rate of $166, the hotel knocked down the tariff to $156, the price we’d found at Expedia.com. No one at the front desk blinked when we arrived at 10 a.m. and asked if our room was ready. It was.

What is to be gleaned from this about the state of things today? Not much. That a restaurant chain known for the skimpy uniforms of its service personnel should wax on one front and wane on another, says absolutely nothing about anything…except, perhaps, business. The cost of licenses for casinos, versus the cost of jet fuel. Stuff like that. The appeal of young ladies in uniforms that fit snugly and leave a lot of bits uncovered? It’s programmed into straight men like me, from now until the end of time, by God. Yeah, that’s right. Hold all the protest marches you want, we’re not going to stop liking it. Oh, and most of us like really hot fried sauced-up pieces o’chicken and cold, frosty mugs of beer. That won’t change either.

Some men will, to please their fragile brittle frumpy womyn, pretend to find it difficult to appreciate Hooters. Some will even pretend to be upset by it. That’s a real shame.

The whole Hooters concept — buxom young women dressed in skintight orange shorts balancing trans fat-laden trays — turns off a lot of people. It’s not hard to understand why.

Now, here you have an example of something that everybody gets but that I don’t. It’s not hard to understand why, huh? Au contraire. It is very hard to understand. Sometimes I get the feeilng that if you simply ask what the problem is, in front of the right audience, you’ll discover large numbers of people who only pretend to have a beef with this establishment, and really don’t. Orange shorts? Trans fat-laden trays? A franchise restaurant chain, much cleaner than your average franchise restaurant chain? Above-par service? What’s the problem?

Hooter’s isn’t even combative about the whole issue, like I am sometimes, Lord knows I’d understand it if they were. Ah, it must be the girls. Young, good-looking girls in skimpy outfits.

Here, let’s put some perspective on this.

To the left of this paragraph you will see a sanitized reproduction of protesters at a Gay Pride parade in San Francisco, waggling their itty-bitty parts for the benefit of family audiences including very young kids (credit to ZombieTime website, source image(s) not safe for work). Gee, thanks guys! Now I’ll grant you, these parade protesters are probably not laboring under the presumption that their junk is being paraded in front of the same clientele being sought by Hooters…but on the other hand, since they’re wandering around in public view this issue probably isn’t real high on their list of concerns. And what a great moose feces detector this is for people who claim to have a problem with Hooters.

Young female legs, huh? Young female cleavage, huh? Hey, frumpy…here are a couple of droopy, stubby dicks right out in public in front of little tiny kids, dangling away. Got a problem with that? No? Really? How interesting.

You think I’m speculating without merit. Heh. Trust me on this. There are people who are ready to write to their city councils and appear at public-comment meetings to make sure Hooter’s doesn’t touch down anywhere near them…who would support parades like this. Tons and tons of people like that (and it probably doesn’t take as many to make a ton as you think).

This actually has the makings of a fairly serious problem. Sometimes the people who want to define deviancy downward, to the point where it seems nothing is deviant anymore…are, when it comes to “old-fashioned” customs of men looking appreciatively at beautiful women, quite puritan and prudish. People like this want society on a shorter leash, just only for those other kinds of people they don’t like. You know, the hated orthodoxy. The knuckledraggers. Men who like hot meat and cold beer and beautiful girls with generously-sized tits and long, curvy legs.

Just a way to strike back at daddy, I guess.

That’s the only theory I can form about it. But what do I know?