House of Eratosthenes

As you might expect, I’m getting the static from people who consider themselves reasonably smart, but watch reality television and then talk about what they saw on reality television.

Let’s recap what “reality television is,” okay?

1. Set the stage for something that is about to happen (30 seconds).

2. Something happens (15 seconds).

3. Someone is interviewed about how the thing made them feel when it happened (just over 8 minutes).

4. Commercial break of somewhere around a good five minutes.

5. Go back to Step 1, and repeat this four times. Then roll credits.

Now here’s the part that I find really entertaining. What do people say right before an episode of reality TV is about to pop up on the idjit box, hmmm? What’s that thing they say? What’s the last thing they say at work when they talk about the episode they’re about to race home to watch?

I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen. Right?

Well, here’s what’s going to happen. Four minor things — more likely just three. And lots…and lots…and lots of talking about how people felt when those things happened. With breathy woodwind background music.

One more little thing. I conservatively estimate that corporate America could save about $50 billion every single year, if we could all agree on some number. Let’s say 37, just for grins. Let’s all just agree that Code 37 is an acceptable substitute for “Last night so-and-so was voted off, and this was contrary to my expectations, OMIGAW!!” If people could just say “Code 37 on Marko” or “Code 37 on Angela” or whatever, they’d be spending a couple seconds on these inane conversations instead of the better portion of an hour, our nation’s lost productivity would be trimmed off overnight, people would get much more done, and maybe we could save the economy.

It’s bound to work better than that stupid stimulus — which, just for the record, is Item #40.

reality television…

the number 1 reason why my tv is off almost all the time.

(cartoon network – the 1 reason why it comes on at all! 🙂
- pdwalker | 02/08/2009 @ 02:34
In retrospect, Morgan, wasn’t reality TV, first brought to us by MTV, when they stopped caring about music, a sign we had drifted into Paddy Chayefsky’s “Network” by mistake. Hasn’t Keith Olbermann become a sad parody of Howard Beale. Aren’t all the networks UBS now, run by CCA.
- narciso | 02/08/2009 @ 10:29
As soon as narciso entered that comment on my blog, it made me feel strangely vindicated. Also, I realized immediately he was right about Olbermann. It also made me feel, like, I always thought Survivor was the beginning of this thing, but when he said that it made me think, wow this stuff is much older than that. The people who watch reality TV and don’t like us pointing it out? That’s too bad, but hey, I’m not here to make friends.
- mkfreeberg | 02/08/2009 @ 10:35

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Reality TVSaturday, February 7th, 2009

Reality TV
Saturday, February 7th, 2009