House of Eratosthenes

I don’t text message behind the wheel anymore. It used to be, the whole thing made a lot of sense. I text messaged with T9 on a Seimens S46, which, also, seemed to make a lot of sense. Letters made into words. Cool. And then I upgraded to a Treo 650, and text messaging behind the wheel made even more sense. No need to double-check stuff. Except I was double-checking anyway.

A couple of times I got done sending stuff, looked back up out my windshield and thought to myself, “would I be prepared for whatever I saw here, no matter what it was?” And I had to admit, the answer was: Maybe not. And so I’d reign my bad habits back in, which is what “good” drivers do. You dance on the edge, when you make a habit of dancing further out, from time to time you should make it a point to dance further in, too. Push the envelope now-and-then…not constantly.

But then, of course, I’d get cocky again.

And I’d think to myself, you know, in my lifetime, I’ve never made it a habit of getting cockier and cockier, without disaster following. This is the one exception. How long will it stay an exception?

But, I didn’t think too much of it…until disaster happened. NOT to me, thank goodness.

And I’m so glad both of the folks involved appeared to be walking around just fine. Must’ve been a wake-up call for me. Lady in front of me, crashed into the guy two cars ahead of me. She: 50 m.p.h. Him: Zero. Yeeesh. They must have had air bags.

Here’s my whole deal. You may opt in to being her — if, and only if, you want to keep on DWTM. Driving While Text Messaging. But to be him, you don’t have to do squat. Just drive. Get into a congested situation, a parking lot, which, if you live in a major metropolis that just involves driving to work every morning.

I know from experience that my logic can sway people, but my written words, in conveying that logic, oftentimes fall short of doing this. So let’s just link to this story to help illustrate the gravity of the situation.

Allen Park Officer Hit In Crash Caused By Text-Messaging Driver
POSTED: 9:57 am EDT August 28, 2006

A suburban Detroit police officer was injured in an accident caused by a teenage motorist sending a text message on his cell phone.

Michigan State Police said a 17-year-old male driver hit the rear of an Allen Park police car, which was policing an earlier crash Sunday afternoon.

The crash caused the police car to spin around and hit the officer, who was thrown into the air on an Interstate 94 ramp.

One more thing. When time and space permit, I’d like to expound on my little rant about talking on cell phones, without the benefit of hands-free devices.

We have studies that say when you talk on a hands-free device, your level of distraction is on par with what you’d be experiencing if you held the cell phone up to your face. Those studies are bullshit, you hear me? I live in the Big Tomato. I see people talking on their cell phones all the time — not-hands-free. Up to their faces.

It is…let me stress this properly…it is PHYSICALLY FREAKIN’ IMPOSSIBLE to do a check to your blind spot, before a lane change, while talking on a cell phone, without being completely absolutely no-mistakingly obvious that you’re doing a head-check. It is a deeply conspicuous movement you have to do. Those fuckers are not doing it, I guaran-damn-tee you. It is up to everybody else to get the hell out of their way, they know not what the hell they’re doing. I can personally vouch for this, swearing an oath to that effect, just by watching them. They are glancing in their passing mirrors — if they’re even doing that — and then breezily just sliding on over. Hope you’re not there when they do.

I loathe nanny-state rules. I really, really do. I’m kind of iffy about motorcycle-helmet laws. But we absolutely, positively, need those two. No text messaging, and no talking on it without a hands-free.

We’ve run out of excuses for not having such laws. What does a hands free device cost now? Fifteen bucks? And are there really any cell phones that can’t accommodate them?

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No DWTMMonday, August 28th, 2006

No DWTM
Monday, August 28th, 2006